You know that absolute horrifying feeling you get when you realize something, and it triggers this non-existent rock to plummet to the bottom of your stomach and as it hits the acid, the acid splatters around and sizzles like the panic sensation inside your fast beating heart? The moment right now couldn’t call for a better time to explain this kind of panic, anxious feeling.
As I was brushing my teeth next to Harry with a new toothbrush he swore just came out of a pack in the drawers, I hadn’t realized the one thing I should have right when I woke up. I was too busy bumping my hip to Harry’s, and him returning the mischievous, childish gesture every time. We stared at each other in the mirror, laughing and sometimes flicking water from the running faucet at each other.
His hand tugged at my one of the loops of my shorts. It felt uncomfortable to sleep in my regular clothes, and wearing them afterwards was just as annoying. But I ignored that as Harry kept pulling at the loops of my shorts causing me to move in the direction he tugged because of his impressive strength and my weakened, tired state.
I slapped him on the arm while he stretched next to me having finished brushing his own teeth. I still had excessive amounts of foamy white toothpaste around my mouth as I scrubbed my teeth cleaned from all the germs and the aftertaste of an awful hangover. Harry finally ceased the loop-and-tug crap and wrapped his strong arms around my waist from behind, clearly waiting on for the kiss he was determined to get.
When I bent down to rinse my mouth, my butt grounded onto his front. All the more not surprising when he chuckled, his hands on the part most upper of my thighs now. I rolled my eyes at his indecency.
With my lips still wet from the water and small droplets falling from my chin, I turned around just to be met by his warm lips. His hands traveled to squeeze my hips, then beneath my thighs where I bent my knees and caught him by surprise when I jumped. My legs wrapped around his waist, his hands beneath my knees for support. Our lips moved at a normal pace, not too urgent and not too slow. The perfect pace that I wanted and that somehow no other guy could meet. Kissing Harry could not compare to any other guy.
My arms wrapped around his neck, our lips parting just for a quick breath until they met again. The minty taste was more pleasant than old, nasty beer. I was rested onto the sink with my legs lazily hanging off of the marbled object. Harry’s hands were free to move about as they wished, my lips clinging to his for more of his kiss. His head was ducked just to be able to kiss me, which I found attractive because his height was just perfectly comparable to mine.
We kissed for so long I became breathless in a matter of another minute along with clueless as to what the time was. I brushed my lips to his jaw, smirking as I felt him shiver a little. That means he likes being kissed on the jaw, which I have no problem with because his is perfect. I kissed gently there, almost light and feathery enough to make him groan in annoyance.
“I’ll find yours, don’t you worry about that,” he threatened breathlessly, planting a soft kiss to my shoulder as I quietly smirked to myself. I felt warm this close to him, and being offered his affection and his touch in privacy was so much more endearing and fulfilling. I know the more time I spend with him, even if it’s not kissing or being all cute and cuddly, I just know I am beginning to like him to the point where things start to get personal.
Soon enough we’ll be asking each other about our future goals or our past. My past gets unbelievably scornful and sinful. I hate myself for it every day, too. It’s not like something that will hurt Harry -- I’m sure it won’t but he’ll probably think less of me. I just don’t want it out, although I’m afraid it will get out there anyway.
Soon enough I’ll have to tell him my favorite color, my favorite type of music, and how I have this dumb obsession with wearing necklaces every time I go out. I haven’t worn one in days, but I really want to. It just hasn’t crossed my mind. But more importantly, I’ll be asking him all that stuff. The urge to get to know him better and know all his corny jokes by heart is as scary as it is. I’m not afraid of letting him get to know me, but I’m afraid that he’ll think very less of me. That he will not feel the same way anymore.
For one of the first times in my life I feel fear as it truly is. Raw and unbearable. I don’t know what I’m going to tell him when he asks. I don’t know who I am. I don’t have a favorite color and as shocking as it sounds I don’t have a favorite type of music. Most of my life and now was spent doing what I wanted and never thinking a second about it.
I grabbed his face in my hands, pecking his lips quickly. “Stop being so kissable,” I mumbled against his lips.
“Stop being so beautiful,” he mumbled back, making me feel at loss for words because he actually means those things. His lips met with mine again in a sweet, gentle kiss. As cheesy as we’re being with each other right now, I find myself preserving that sweet part of the cake and shoving it into the fridge for more later.
A giggle burst through the room from the door, a tiny figure wearing pink and white polka dot sleeping pants and a tea-pot cartoon shirt covering her mouth to hide the giggles. She covered her mouth with one hand while the other hugged the purple stuffed animal named Mr. Bear tightly by the hand.
Harry and I turned our heads, remaining in our position. I felt ashamed to be caught by Belle, and Harry seemed to be frozen on the spot.
“Oooohhh, you guys were kissing!” She squealed, laughing loudly. She made kissy faces at us while Harry moved away from me, playfully growling at her.
“I will eat your little toes, Munchkin!” He growled at her, crouching down to scare her with his hands out. She shrieked loudly, laughing as she tried her best to run away from him. I smiled at the sight before me, hopping off the counter and walking at a slow pace to follow the energetic four year-old and the nineteen year-old that acts like a four year-old.
I found them in the kitchen, Harry carrying her around and making her laugh as he told her he’d drop her, and she screamed at him not to. Belle shut her eyes tightly, her small arms wrapped around his neck tightly as she shook her head frantically. “No, Haz!”
“Yes? Okay.” He playfully leaned down, and she shrieked. “I thought you said yes?”
“No!” She hugged him tighter.
Harry smiled over at me, and then looked back down at the frantic, scared four year-old clinging onto him for dear life. “Say I will never make fun of Harry ever again. And that you’re sorry.”
Mumbling into his shirt, she whimpered. “I will never make fun of Hawwy eva again. And I am sorry.”
“Good. Now say I love you, Harry.”
“I love you, Hawwy.”
He chuckled softly, kissing her forehead in the most loving way I could’ve melted. “I love you, too, Bells. Now I’m going to put you down, and I’m going to make you the best pancakes ever. Okay?”
Belle nodded, and opened her big bright eyes to look up at him. “But Maria always cooks for us.”
“Well, it’s Maria’s day off and I’m cooking for my two girls.”
I couldn’t resist turning beet red at his words. The moment was too cute to ruin by reminding him that I’m not his girlfriend, but I want to be. Never thought I’d tell myself that and in allusion to Harry. I want to be his. And I want him to be mine.
I spent the morning worry free. Cooking pancakes and Belle judging who’s are better. I beat Harry fair and square, which he stomped out of the kitchen playfully for. He returned seconds later picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder, doing the same thing he did to Belle an hour ago.
Laughing loudly, I shrieked at him to put me down as Belle watched from the stool she sat on, her giggles almost inaudible. “Put me down!”
“Alright.” Harry went to push me off of him, but held on to me as I screamed out.
“No!” I shrieked, laughing some more. The blood was flowing to my head as I kept laughing, and my stomach began to ache.
“Then say Harry’s so cool and his pancakes are better than mine.”
I rolled my eyes, but played along for the sake of the game. “Harry’s so cool and his pancakes are better than mine.”
“Good. Now say Harry’s going to take me on a wonderful date tonight and I’m going to love it because he’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met.” Harry demanded.
My heart fluttered in my chest, my laughter ceasing and my cheeks burning not only from the blood flowing to my head but from the most sickeningly sweet bone in my body. “You’re taking me on a date?” I asked quietly.
Harry gently put me down, my body turned immediately to face him. His arms went around my waist, a grin plastered on his face while his hand stroked a piece of my hair from my face behind my ear. “Yes, I am. And it’s a surprise. So don’t ask where I’m taking you. Just dress real pretty.” He whispered, our noses almost touching. “Who am I kidding, you can wear a trash bag and still look pretty as Hell.”
I smiled, unable to control the beating of my heart and how happy I am right now. “Harry’s going to take me on a wonderful date tonight and I’m going to love it because he’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met.” I repeated, making his grin stretch wider.
I closed the gap by standing on my toes, placing a soft kiss on his lips before I heard Belle screech and laugh. “Cutie pies!”
We pulled away only to laugh at Belle, who was swinging her legs back and forth with a grin and shoving a slice of pancake into her small mouth, making her cheeks double in size. Suddenly, I had the urge to use the bathroom and empty out all the alcohol I drank last night. I pecked Harry’s cheek before whispering, “I need to pee.”
I scurried up the stairs while he chuckled to himself, joining Belle at the stool and eating his own pancakes.
When I returned, I heard Harry and Belle talking about something before my name came up. I know I shouldn’t listen, but I did. Just out of pure curiosity.
“Is Sariri your girlfwiend?” Belle asked, giggling.
Harry smiled down at her, gently pinching her little nose as he chewed down his food. He swallowed before answering her. “Not yet. Why? You like her?”
“She’s weally nice, and she told me that you love me no matter what and she’s real pretty, and,” she breathed in heavily from all her rambling, “she’s funny. I want her to be your girlfwieeeend,” she whined.
He only shook his head, laughing at the way Belle was practically jumping out of her seat. I love how Belle likes me and her liking towards me makes me feel better about being in a relationship with Harry. Belle is such a precious little girl, I wouldn’t mind being around her a lot, either. She’s fun and rarely is disobedient. But I bet she can be real stubborn. I can tell. If she truly wants something, she’ll most likely behave similar to how Harry behaves.
“I want her to be mine, too, Belle. But only if she wants to,” Harry told her gently.
Belle huffed, rolling her eyes. “Well...I think she wants to.”
Harry, again overly amused, asks, “And why do you think that, Munchkin?”
A spat giggle left her lips before she placed her hands over her cheeks, shaking her head like it was hopeless to talk to Harry. I found myself trying not to laugh, silent behind the wall as I watched them in conversation.
“Woo,” she sighed, “She kisses you.” A teasing giggle left her lips before she pressed her lips together.
Egging her on, Harry shrugged. “And so what if she kisses me? I kiss you all the time,” he playfully leaned in to cover her face in little kisses, making Belle laugh and push away from him. “I know, Belle,” he laughed. “If she wants to, she’ll be my girlfriend.”
Belle sighed, nodding her head. “Okay,” she whispered, almost sad to let things be. “She’s nice.”
“She is, isn’t she? And pretty, too.” He told her, nodding in agreement.
She looked up at him. “Hawwy?”
“Hmm?” He hummed, chewing food again.
“Am I pretty, too?” Belle asked, and my heart just wanted to melt and stop beating because she is honestly too cute for this planet Earth.
Harry swallowed his food and looked down at her. “Of course you are, Munchkin. You’re the most beautiful, prettiest girl in the world.” He softly told her, almost offended that she’d ask such a question. I could tell by his facial expression that he was touched by it, and just like me he only wanted to hug her tightly. “C’mere.” He enveloped her in a hug, kissing her forehead gently.
I walked in, trying to pretend I didn’t hear the cutest conversation anyone would ever have the honor of hearing, even if it’s eavesdropping. Belle and Harry have the most endearing brotherly sisterly love and it moves me to the point where I might actually start crying. It’s hard to always keep that love going, but they never seem to fight or argue. Every time they’re close to it, Belle giggles at something Harry says to cheer her up or Harry gives up and apologizes. I wish Willie and I were close to that.
“Hey, everything alright?” I asked.
Harry nodded just as Belle jumped from his arms and grinned over at me. “Hi, Sariri!”
I smiled at her, embracing her tightly. “Hi, Sweetie.” Belle wrapped her arms around my neck, giggling when I made a funny face at her.
“Can we go buy you a dress for you and Hawwy’s date,” she giggled, grinning softly at me.
Harry groaned from his seat. “Sorry, I don’t do shopping.”
“Then me and Sariri can go together!” She squealed, and I looked over at Harry for his permission. Taking Belle out would honestly be really fun, and the only friend I knew that could drive is Emily, and Emily is one of my only friends that acquires that “responsible” personality trait. So it wouldn’t be hard to take Belle out with Emily to buy something for tonight.
Harry looked over at me, his face serious but his eyes somewhere else as if thinking about it very hard. I smiled at him. “I promise she’ll be back.”
“Fine,” he sighed. “By three in the afternoon. She has to have lunch. No McDonald’s because their nuggets give her stomach aches. And,” I set Belle down and she scurried upstairs to get ready. I crossed my arms over my chest, watching Harry ramble. “She can’t eat Subway because the bread there makes her skin itch. She’s allergic to wheat, strawberries, and red food coloring. Don’t let her leave your side. She’s a wonderer. And please, please --”
I shut him up when I straddled his waist while he sat on the stool, placing my hands at the nape of his neck, staring into his eyes as he became completely silent. “She’ll be fine, baby,” I cooed, knowing my usage of the word ‘baby’ will do the trick. Plus, I liked the way it felt leaving my mouth.
“It’s different when you call me that. I feel like a nervous freshman talking to the prettiest girl in school.” He said slowly, shrugging. “Baby,” he repeated, “You just called me baby.”
Biting back my laugh, I nodded slowly. “Yeah...I called you baby.”
“Then what am I supposed to call you?” He argued, whining like the little kid he sometimes is.
“Call me whatever you want,” I shrugged.
Harry immediately grinned. “Big Boobie Carter.” He nodded, “Yeahhh, I like that one.”
“Absolutely not!” I laughed, shaking my head. “How about Sweetheart or something cuter than Big Boobie Carter.” I mocked in his voice, rolling my eyes.
He shook his head. “That’s too cheesy.”
“Whatever,” I chuckled, getting off of his lap. “Have you seen my phone?” I asked, and Harry pointed to the coffee table in the living room, pulling out his own cellphone. I picked my phone up from the coffee table, unlocking it too finally realize what I was missing from the point I woke up this morning.
My heart dropped into my stomach like a heavy rock. Twelve missed calls from my mother and three from my dad. I was supposed to go to the library last night, but I never returned home. I bit my lip, my face dropping of all color when I shoved my phone back in my pocket.
Harry was already staring at me. “What’s wrong, beautiful?” I guess he settled on beautiful.
“I never returned from the library last night,” I simply told him, feeling my heart pound rapidly.
He paused for a moment, thinking. “It’s alright. Just say that you were home but left early to help Clary or someone to look up some colleges or something. She’ll believe that.”
Good point.
“But she waited all night for me to get home. Some of these calls are from midnight and three in the morning.” I argued, knowing I’m screwed the moment I get home.
Harry bit his lip. “Then tell her you visited Clary to look up some colleges,” he repeated, “and you fell asleep at her house.”
“Yeah, but she might’ve called Clary, too. And Clary -- I’m sure -- was totally shit-faced and...oh my god! What if she called me and I was drunk and we both like said something to her and we don’t even remember!” I was thinking the worst at this point. The bad part was that I could be right, or totally wrong because maybe something worse could have happened. “I can’t go home right now, Oh my god.”
Harry got up from the stool to comfort me, his strong arms embracing me from behind. “Shh, relax, love.” He cooed. “If anything we can work this out. You always do, baby girl.”
I felt like I was going to cry out from frustration. “She doesn’t even know I hang around you, and definitely nothing about going on dates with you. She told me to stay away from you.”
“Well…,” he sighed. “Did you want to stay away from me?”
No. The answer was no. No matter how many times I said I hated his guts a few weeks ago, I still kept giving in. I never wanted to stay away from him since the beginning. I didn’t want him to think my hesitation was anything. I turned around, locking eyes with his pretty, pale green ones that reminded me of nothing but him and only him.
“Of course I didn’t. It always ended up to just us two. And I don’t even care anymore about your dumb criminal record. Shit like that doesn’t matter to me anymore. I’m just...really nervous right now. And panicky. I’m hours from getting imprisoned in my house for like a month.” I told him urgently, shaking my head and covering my face with my hands.
Mumbling into my hands, I said, “I’m surprised she hasn’t called the cops yet. And they’re not knocking down your door right now.”
“Well geez, I’m not that bad,” he muttered under his breath.
I removed my hands from my face, looking up at him. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.”
His hands cupped my face, our eyes staring into each other. “I know. It’ll be okay, though. I promise. If she jails you in your room, I’ll climb up your fire escape and visit you everyday,” he joked a little. I smiled a little, letting him know he was making me feel a tiny bit better. “Don’t go home now. Let her calm down a little, and you need to calm down, too. I’ll drop you off at your friend’s house so you can get ready there and if you still want I can drop off you and Belle at the mall or something.”
He is perfect and I know it. I’m still trying to tell myself that this is Harry Styles talking to me right now. The one that gets into fights constantly and annoys me to the point where I’m trying to murder him with a math textbook.
“I’m really glad I believed you,” I whispered to him.
“Me, too,” he mumbled back, before kissing my lips.
A/N: prepare yourselves for the next chapter xD