The genin of Team Badass were insanely bored. They had done 2 missions that day, yet they still had over half the day left and nothing to do. Sakura had suggested they go catch some sweets, but was reminded that wasn't Sasuke's favorite food. Sasuke wanted to train, and almost did so, if he'd not been pulled back by Naruto, who'd just had an epiphony of what they could do.
"I've got it you guys!" He whispered secretively as they huddled together.
"You don't have to whisper, Naruto." Sakura said. "Noone's around, you baka.."
"Meh, whatever!" He retorted. "I've got the best idea ever!" He giggled in exitement.
Team Badass had decided to do the impossible: Steal Kakashi's "Make-Out Paradise" book. Sasuke reluctantly agreed after Naruto told him it would be a challenge to his skills as a ninja. Sakura reluctantly said yes, although inside she was itching for a chance to see why the pervy book interested their sensei so much. So, they set out to get into Kakashi's hut and make off with the novels.
An hour later, they split up. One was to distract Kakashi away from his house, one was to break into the place, and one was to sneak in and snatch the books. Sakura said she would distract the man; She would get to put her plan of getting some sweets into action after all. Sasuke would sneak in and grab the books after Naruto found a way to get the door unlocked. Naruto was to stand guard incase Kakashi were to come back and Sakura's distraction failed. After going over it thoroughly, they travelled to Kakashi's house. Sasuke and Naruto snuck up onto the roof and hid while Sakura knocked on the door.
Kakashi opened it, surprised. "Sakura? Uhh, did you need something?" He scratched the back of his neck nervously.
"Oh, hi Kakashi-sensei! I was hoping you like to..." She faked a blush to get his attention. "...Get some sweets?"
"Uh, well, I don't think I should.." He chuckled guiltily. She did a terrific job of acting as in she looked down sadly, and said in a trembling voice, "I...It's okay, I guess... Well..." She sniffled lightly. "I guess I'll see ya later... sensei..." She began to walk off, inwardly cursing herself for failing.
"Wait, Sakura," Kakashi said, walking out the door and closing it behind him. "I guess I could come with you.." He sighed and began walking back to town with her. "SCOREE!" Inner Sakura screamed.
"Yes! Now, wait till they're out of sight, then we get in there and grab those books!" Naruto snickered. "I know the plan," Sasuke sighed. Inside he really DID want to see what was in those books(the little perv!), but his dignity and pride would never let him show it. Soon the silver-haired man and his student disappeared down the road, and that being done, Naruto slid down the pipe and onto the ground. He dusted himself off, and Sasuke leaped nimbly from the roof, landing on his feet beside Naruto. "Naruto," Sasuke said. "You brought lock-picking tools, right?"
"Uhh..." The blonde chuckled nervously. "I kinda got caught up in the moment and forgot them at home..."
"BAKA!" Sasuke smacked the back of Naruto's head, sending the boy to the ground. "How the hell are we supposed to get in without lock-picking tools?" The blonde mumbled something, but Sasuke didn't catch it, as Naruto's face was in the dirt. "Get up," Sasuke snapped, getting Naruto off the ground. "Oww..." The boy in orange mumbled, rubbing his head. "I said, we could use kunai." He scowled. Sasuke smirked. "Naruto, that could work."
"So, sensei, where do you wanna go? Ichiraku's? Or, how about to the riceball shop? Maybe to catch some tea?" Sakura bombarded her partner with questions. "Oh, I don't know, Sakura..." He groaned. "O-Oh..." She mumbled. "I'm sorry..." Her arm slithered away from it's position looped in his. He sighed again. "I really should be getting back to my book..."
"Okay then," She smiled. "Let's go to the sweets shop." She dragged him to the cafe'.
"It didn't work, you baka-head!" Sasuke growled. He was showing more agitation and emotion than he ever had in all the time he'd know the Team. "Oww, Sasuke!" Naruto whined. Sasuke had thrown the blunt end of the kunai and it hit the boy in the head. "Heh," Sasuke smirked, folding his arms over his chest. "Didn't figure it would, though."
"...Right, and you love tomatoes." Naruto scoffed.
"...I do love tomatoes, Naruto..." Sasuke shook his head. "Dobe..."
"Sasuke-Teme!" Naruto argued.
"Oh, shutup Naruto... Stop whining so we can get outta here before Kakashi gets back!" Sasuke grouched. He took a shuriken out of his pocket and began to try to pick the lock with it. The door slid open after a couple of tries. Sasuke smirked. "Ohh, you're SUCH a genius," Naruto said sarcastically. "Shut up, Naruto, and stand watch."
They'd went through two bowls of sweet balls and a stick of cinnamon rolls. Sakura'd gotten a bag of hard candy and was munching on it.
"Can I go back now?" Kakashi groaned. Sakura interjected quickly, "Ooh! Look at those figurines!" She dragged him over to a shop. 'I hope I'm buying the boys enough time,' Sakura thought nervously. 'I don't know how much longer I can stall him...' She made sure he didn't leave her while she browsed the plushies and the crystal figurines for sale.
Sasuke made sure not to make any noise as he crept through the house(although noone was there). He looked around for any signs of books, but there was none. He crept into Kakashi's bedroom, and there they were. In the center of Kakashi's room, there were four books laying on a stand. It looked dangerous, but Sasuke disregarded his instincts and reached for the books. He snatched them, but an alarm went off. It was deafening, but he scattered out of the house. "IS THERE ANY WAY TO TURN THIS THING OFF?!" Sasuke yelled above the loud roar of the sirens. "I DON'T KNOW!" Naruto yelled in response.
"Shit," Sasuke muttered, covering his ears with the books tucked under his arm.
Kakashi's head jerked in the direction of his house as an alarm went off in his Shuriken Holster. "Dammit all to bloody hell!" Kakashi said loudly, standing from the table they were currently at, and about to leave. Sakura grabbed his arm quickly and said, "Wait, sensei! Don't you want to stay? I'm not done yet!" She tugged on his arm. He jerked away.
"MY BOOKS ARE BEING STOLEN. I WILL SLAY WHOEVER TOOK THEM!" Kakashi roared. He took off in the direction of his house. Sakura took off after him.
Sasuke repeatedly muttered curses. "We'd better get out of here! Anyone for miles could hear this!" Naruto yelled.
"GOOD PLAN, GENIUS!" Sasuke retorted. They ran off in the direction of the village, books in tow.
The two genin boys arrived at the Hyuga compound, out of breath. They climbed over the gates, and ran for safety. "Hinata!" Naruto said loudly as he saw the girl walking down a corridor. They ran over to her. "O-Oh! Naruto.." She smiled, looking down and turning red. "Hey, Hinata!" He chuckled.
"Wh-What's that you have there..?" She asked quietly.
"Oh! Heh heh, those are Kakashi-sensei's pervy books! We were bored, and we figured we'd swipe them to see why they're so interesting!" Naruto snickered.
"O-Oh... So that's what that loud alarm was about..?" She giggled.
"Yep! And now we're trying to hide from the wrath of Kakashi!"
"W-Well... I could help... I-If you want.." She said shyly.
"Awesome!" Naruto gave her a thumbs-up.
"What's going on here?" Came a male voice from behind them. They looked back and saw Neji. "Oh, hey Neji!" Naruto chuckled.
"What are those books?"
"Oh, you know those pervy books Kakashi-sensei's always reading?" Neji nodded. "Those are them?" He asked.
"Yep." Sasuke said.
"Hm."
"And Hinata's agreed to help us. Kakashi'll be coming any minute to kill us for stealing his precious books." Sasuke drawled.
"She'll do no such thing. Come on, Hinata. Let's leave them to their monkey business."
"I'M COMING MY BOOKS!" Kakashi promised his love. He reached the Hyuga compound, as he'd seen the boys run in that direction. He hopped over the gate with ease. He spotted them and charged.
"Oops, Neji! Here ya go!" Naruto flung the books at the boy, and Neji's eyes widened as he saw the angry sensei charge at him. "Ohhhhh dearrr!" He wailed as he began to run as fast as he could away from the man. Hinata, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura ran after them. Neji came to the streets of Konoha near the Weapons Shop that TenTen owned. Lee was there, talking to TenTen. He was sitting on the roof with her, absorbed in their chat. Kakashi caught up with Neji and punched him, sending him flying along with the books. Lee saw Neji flying across the street. "Neji, my most youthful rival has learned to fly! I must learn as well!" He pumped his fist in the air, jumping off the roof and landing on his face.
"LEE YOU BAKA!" Neji yelled. "Grab the books and RUN!" Lee scurried and grabbed up the books. He ran with the speed of the wind and noone else caught up with him. TenTen, Neji, Sasuke, Sakura, Hinata and Naruto followed Kakashi in his chase after his books. They sped past the Third Hokage on his stroll down the street. His robes and hat fluttered in the breeze caused by their fast-paced chase. "Hm," He said. "Must be playing some sort of game." He casually continued his stroll.
Sasuke had an idea as they continued their run. "Naruto!" He yelled. Naruto turned to run beside the raven-haired genius. "Tell the others to tackle him on three!" He nodded. As soon as they all were notified, he began to count. "One..." TAK TAK TAK TAK. "Two..." TAK TAK TAK TAK. "...THREE!" They all leaped at the silver-haired teacher and dragged him to the ground. He wriggled in rage, but the strength of all the genin combined was too strong for him to overpower. TenTen grabbed some rope and they tightly bound his arms and legs. They took away his Shuriken Holster so he couldn't cut the ropes(Neji's idea) and bound him to a chair that they found in a nearby shop. "Kakashi, pant, Sensei!" Naruto grinned cheesily. "We've got you!" He gave him a thumbs-up.
Lee stopped a little less than a mile away on the other side of the village near the Hokage's office. "Whew," He said. "Think I'm safe?" He wondered aloud. "Yeah... Maybe I should head back." He began to run in the opposite direction back to where the group stopped. Once he got there, he set down the books and Kakashi struggled to get free to get to his books.
"I am sorry, Master Kakashi, but no books for you!" Lee said, grinning.
"Yeah!" Naruto yelled. "Now we finally get to see what's in those pervy books!" He snatched on up, and opened to the first page. "Well..." He cleared his throat. "Yura was the girl of his dreams. She..." He squinted at the book. "What is that...?"
"Baka," Sakura said, taking the book. "I'll read it, since I CAN." Some of the genin snickered.
"Yo, Naruto!" Someone said. They all looked back to see Shikamaru and Kiba walking towards them. "What's Kakashi doing tied up?" They got to them, and Shikamaru sweat-dropped. "Is that... the Make-Out Paradise series...?"
Naruto nodded slowly, clueless. "Uh-huh..."
Shikamaru grabbed the book from Sakura and hugged it to his chest, a hungry, angsty look on his face. They others peered at him, now feeling slightly uneasy. "Do you... Like the Make-Out Paradise series, Shikamaru...?" Naruto asked, with a look of disturbance on his face. Shikamaru only stood there, the book held tightly to his chest.
"I guess so..." Sakura said, scratching her head, one eye twitching. "Well, Shikamaru, since you're such a big fan... You read it."
"Uh..." It was now Shikamaru's turn to sweat-drop. "...You guys want to know what it says?"
"DUH?" They all shouted.
"Of course we wanna know what's in that pervy sensei's book!" Naruto shouted.
"YEAH!" The others agreed.
"Well..." Shikamaru scratched the back of his neck lazily. "..Alright..." They nodded.
"I can tell this is going to be troublesome..." He muttered.
"Just read it already..." Naruto grumbled, anxious to hear the words of the story.
"Alright, alright..." Shikamaru sighed, then opened the book. He began to read the finely print words.
"Senkai was the woman of his dreams. She had the luscious lips, curvy(but not too curvy) hips of a fully matured lady, those plump breasts, her piercing yet loving eyes... He wanted her, and she was the untouchable. Everytime she flipped her pink hair, he went crazy."
Sakura turned slightly red at the mention of pink hair. 'I wish Sasuke felt that way...' She thought.
Shikamaru continued, "He couldn't control himself, after two years of standing idly by, waiting for her. He reached out, and caressed her cheek before he could stop himself. He pressed his fine lips to hers in a whirlwind of passion and emotion. He wrapped his arms around her as she succumbed to his kiss..." Shikamaru got into the book, and didn't notice everyone else.
2 pages later...
"Zzzzz..." Sasuke snored lightly. Shikamaru finally looked up from the book.
DONG! "NANI?!" He yelled, twitching. He had found everyone snoring, except for Kakashi, who was listening intently.
"You're quite the reader, Shikamaru..." Kakashi smiled under his mask.
Shikamaru sighed. "This is such a drag..." He straightened his chunin jacket, and set the book on the others. He walked away, looking at the sky.
"WAKE UUUUP!" Kakashi yelled. The genin awoke with a start, some mumbling curses.
"Whaa?" Naruto asked dumbly.
"Wake UP, I said." Kakashi said, trying to wriggle out of the chakra enfused ropes. "Oh," The blonde scratched his head and got up. The others got up, too.
"What were we doing before we fell asleep here?" Neji asked. The others mumbled, apparently wanting to know the same thing.
"Shikamaru was reading Make-Out Paradise, Neji..." Kakashi scowled. "You ungrateful children don't appreciate true masterpieces, apparently!"
"It was PERVY SAGE who wrote it!" Naruto yelled. "He's a PERVY OLD GEEZER!"
Kakashi sighed. "You've had your fun. Now let me go."
"Fine, fine..." Naruto mumbled, untying the ropes.
Bad move.
"I'M GONNA GET YOUUU!" Kakashi roared.
"Wha- WHAAAAAA!" Naruto screeched in fear, as he began running.
Five laps around Konoha, and Kakashi was still running.
'Geez, he doesn't know when to give up!' Naruto thought, panting from his exercise.
"Gooo Naruto!" Lee pumped his fist in the air as Naruto ran by them for the sixth time. But, before Kakashi could go any longer, Sakura tackled him. He landed face first in the dirt, her on top of him. "Got him," She said triumphantly. "You ok Naruto?"
He nodded, coughing. He breathed in and out heavily, trying to catch his breath. "You alright, Sensei?" She asked Kakashi.
He mumbled something.
"What?" Sakura said.
"Sakura... I... Can't... Breathe..." He gasped.
"Oh!" She quickly got off him, and he stood to his feet. He breathed heavily, picking up his fallen books. He dusted them off, and walked away without a word to the genin.
"Well," Sasuke said, "Now we know there really Isn't anything special about those books..."
"Yep, they're boring and pervy!" Naruto grinned. The others agreed.
"Hey, why don't we all catch some ramen?" TenTen shouted from the back.
"YEAH!" They all headed towards Ichiraku's for lunch. On the way there, Naruto turned to Sakura and Sasuke. "Hey, you guys, this was fun though, right?"
"Yeah, I have to say it was!" Sakura smiled brightly. Sasuke nodded.
Naruto snickered. "Heh heh, maybe next time we should try stealing Asuma's cigarettes!"