One of Taehyung's feet is tapping the ground rapidly, the man sighing to try to release at least a little bit of his nervousness. He is currently in front of his building, waiting for Jungkook to pick him up. He's been there since less than ten minutes, but he can already feel the bubble of anxiety in his chest growing more and more. It's like he doesn't know what to do with his hands anymore, should he let them hang flat along his body? Or maybe he should cross his arms? What will look better from Jungkook's point of view, when this one will arrive?
Indeed, his husband is still not here, and Taehyung is beginning to wonder why: the man has always liked punctuality, and arriving late is not part of his vocabulary. Thus, the brown-haired male can't help but begin to worry, his mind coming up with some theories from the most likely to the less conceivable.
What if he forgot to check the time and hasn't realised he was late? Has he gotten in a car accident? What if he's in the hospital right now? Or maybe he is freaking out... Maybe he made up his mind about our marriage. Maybe he doesn't want to try anymore...
Taehyung sighs, taking his head into his hands. He should trust Jungkook more... Of course he's going to come. Wanting to calm down, he tries to distract himself by thinking about some things he could say to make the atmosphere lighter when Jungkook will arrive.
Yet his head is apparently unable to produce a single positive thought at the moment, and he wonders how he will actually manage to emit words during that date. Can he handle this? Can he manage to make Jungkook at ease so that they will spend a good time together? He is really beginning to think he can't...
Taehyung is still deep into his thoughts when his phone suddenly buzzes in his pocket for a second, making him jump on his spot before his heart slams against his ribcage when he grabs the device: indeed, he just spotted the ID on the screen, Jungkook's name making him unlock his phone without wasting a second.
From: Jungkook
I'm very sorry, I just got a little problem with my car... But it's okay now, Hoseok helped me and we managed to start it up. I'll be there in ten minutes! Sorry for making you wait...
A deep sigh of relief leaves Taehyung's mouth, the man managing to relax a bit more. So Jungkook didn't freak out, didn't have doubts about their couple... It was only a car problem. Taehyung could laugh from relief at the moment, but the remaining fears about how the evening will go refrain him from doing so.
Really, if someone had told him he would be stressed about spending time with his own husband one day, he wouldn't have believed them.
----
The car door opens, a slightly-paler-than-usual Jungkook emerging from the vehicle. A wave of fresh air contrasting with the warmth of the heater hits the raven-haired male in the face, and he walks towards his husband with rapid steps, blaming himself inwardly for being late. He knows it's not his fault, but still, he would have preferred not to make Taehyung worry.
"Hey..." He makes a nervous smile once he has arrived next to Taehyung, the exact same one spreading on the latter's features.
"Hi...
-I'm sorry for being late, I know that it's not the best for a first date...
-Don't worry, it wasn't your fault." The brown-haired male reassures him while they're both walking towards the grey vehicle. "Tell me... How are you?" He asks once Jungkook started the car, and the taller man decides to reply honestly.
"Well, I'm way too nervous about that whole thing." He replies, rubbing his hands together as they still feel cold from the outside. Luckily he's not far from the heater, so that he can already feel his whole body getting warmer.
"Glad to hear I'm not the only one." Taehyung huffs in relief, making Jungkook's expression become a bit more relaxed.
"Can you imagine this? We've been married for fifteen years and yet we're nervous just like when we had our actual first date." This time his husband chuckles lightly, tension seeming to leave his body with every passing second.
"It's not surprising, though... We're kind of starting from scratch, don't you agree?
-Totally." Jungkook nods, willing his hands to relax as they're clasped around the wheel. "Can you remember our first date? We were almost shaking in fear to do something bad..." He smiles at the sweet memory, Taehyung's eyes becoming fond.
"We were sixteen, after all... Ah, it seems so far away... Now we're all old and wrinkled." He jokes, so that Jungkook nudges him playfully with his elbow. "But really, it was great. It was the day of my very first kiss too..." He says almost shyly, and Jungkook suddenly finds him cute to sound embarrassed at the mere thought of their first kiss.
"You were clumsy, but it was the best thing I had ever experienced anyway. And I had kissed a lot of people before.
-You womanizer..." Taehyung grins, knowing Jungkook had never been with a boy before him. The brown-haired male had been the one to ask him out, and if at first Jungkook had been a bit shocked because Taehyung wasn't a girl and he definitely hadn't expected that, he had soon agreed to try out.
"Say, Jungkook..." The shorter man starts speaking again after a few seconds of silence, "Do you think that beautiful memories like this one are tainted, because of what happened during these last three years? Because of what we did to each other? Do you feel bitter thinking about it, knowing what happened afterwards?" Jungkook remains silent for a little while, his husband waiting patiently and not spurring him to answer.
"I don't think so", Jungkook eventually answers, a thoughtful glint in his eyes, "It was beautiful on the instant, so there's no reason why I shouldn't remember it that way." Taehyung nods slowly, thinking his words over. "Besides, we still lived a lot of happy years together after that first date, it's not like the shit began right then...
-Hmm, you're right. These last three years actually felt like a lifetime to me... As if it had erased all the good times.
-I feel the same..." Jungkook agrees, and they sent each other a meaningful gaze. "We won't let this happen to us again, right?
-Never."
They suddenly hear the sound of a horn behind them, making them realise they spent the last minute stopped at the traffic light while it was green. They were so engrossed in their conversation that they almost forgot they actually were in the middle of the street, Jungkook realises with surprise.
They send each other a little smile, like two kids that have just been caught doing something silly, before Jungkook presses on the accelerator anew.
----
A few shades of pink adorn Taehyung's cheeks, his lips a little bit redder because of the several glasses of wine he drank. The two of them are now laughing quietly together, their plates almost finished, and if at the beginning of the meal they were still on their guard, now they're speaking freely and leaning slightly towards each other as they speak, making the atmosphere more intimate.
"You know..." The brown-haired male lowers his voice as if he was going to tell Jungkook a secret, a playful smile plastered on his lips, "Before you arrived, I somehow thought that it would be hard to talk to each other and all... So I was trying to search for some topics of conversation while waiting for you to arrive.
-Really?" Jungkook smiles, cheek leaning into his palm. "Well, I can't say anything, after all I was doing the same before our appointment at the counsellor the other day." They laugh quietly together, feeling glad to know they went through the same troubles without even knowing it. "But in the end, it always goes well. It's like I can't remain silent anymore...
-Yes, exactly! I feel as though my mouth was locked during three long years, and that now every word I think about is flowing out of it!" Jungkook snorts as he watches Taehyung's red face, telling himself that Taehyung is truly beginning to get flustered by the wine. But then he realises that he's not in a better state, as the room spins a little bit whenever he moves. He's not drunk yet, but he shouldn't order another glass of alcohol or he will definitely be.
"It's good, I mean... To talk to each other again. I hadn't realised how much I missed it. You've always been the one with whom I could speak about anything and everything." He had always loved their conversations, going from the most ridiculous and funniest to the most serious ones. Any topics were fine with Taehyung, so that he used to feel completely himself whenever he was with him. Only when Yoongi passed away had he begun to pay attention to what he said, not wanting to hurt Taehyung even more by showing him whenever he was feeling down. Since that moment, he had always made sure to reassure and comfort him, even when he was in pain as well. And it might have been fine, if only Taehyung hadn't remained silent all that time, leaving him on his own except when it was to talk about Yoongi and how much he missed him.
A melancholic smile spreads on Taehyung's lips at his words, a sad little glint appearing into his eyes, and much to Jungkook's surprise he squirms a bit into his seat, as if he was on the verge of saying something that made him uneasy.
"Speaking about that, I... I know that it's my fault if we stopped talking, as I was too closed on myself... I'm really sorry." The genuine words aim right at Jungkook's heart, and suddenly it's like his chest feels lighter. How many times had he wanted to hear that sentence? How much had he wished Taehyung would realise that this silent treatment hurt him? And now, when he wasn't even expecting it the slightest, his husband finally uttered the much-waited apology. "I know it wasn't fair to treat you like that. Actually, I can't even count on my fingers the number of times you have been there for me, while I wasn't here for you. Even after you asked for divorce, when J-Jimin and I fought, you immediately rushed to the flat to help me go through this. Also, you wrote that little note for me on Yoongi's wedding anniversary... I don't know if I could ever find someone as supportive and caring as you are. So, thank you a lot..." Jungkook suddenly realises that his chin is trembling a little bit, and he quickly blinks a few times in order to chase away the tears in his eyes. Crying in front of Taehyung wouldn't bother him, but they're in a public place...
Taehyung understands his silence, and he hesitantly puts a hand over Jungkook's for support, the latter lacing their fingers together and squeezing his hand in response. It makes him find Jungkook quite cute, the way the latter reacted to his words. He didn't think it would move him like that... During these last years, he had begun to see the raven-haired male hiding his feelings more and more, so that he had thought he wouldn't show any emotion at his apologies. But here Jungkook was, almost crying because of four little words. If this was the effect they could have on him, he was willing to say them again and again, along with a lot more other things.
"Thank you for saying this." The man eventually says once he has retrieved the ability to speak, even if his voice is trembling a little bit. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for betraying you, I mean, with Jongin... I'll never stop regretting what I did that night. And I apologise for wanting to divorce without even trying to go to an appointment with the counsellor. I'm sure I would have regretted it, in the end." Jungkook sighs lightly as he feels a thumb gently brushing over the back of his hand, his eyes finally lifting towards Taehyung's. They share a long gaze, and Jungkook suddenly tells himself that the bond between them isn't on the verge of snapping anymore: it's getting stronger and stronger with time passing, the difficulties they got through together only making it even harder to break than before. The pace of his heart accelerates when he realises how close the two of them are, and he's glad they're in one of the most intimate corners of the restaurant, where it's tough for the other customers to see them.
Taehyung looks so handsome at the moment, with his cheeks dusted in pink, his brown hair that suits his honeyed skin so well, and his long eyelashes that almost touch his cheeks whenever he blinks. It's like a veil was over his eyes during these past few years, preventing him to see how much his husband was beautiful and precious to him.
"Taehyung..." He breathes out, and he doesn't even know what he wants to say next, but apparently his husband understands, the corners of his lips tugging up slightly. That's when he leans forward, Jungkook's eyes widening as he feels Taehyung's lips right at the corner of his mouth, these ones applying a fond kiss on his skin. The raven-haired male didn't think an innocent gesture like this one could have such an effect on him, as his vision blurs slightly and that his chest feels overwhelmed with feelings, but is that so surprising when the two of them haven't touched so intimately in years?
"More..." He whispers in desperation when Taehyung begins to lean back, longing for the long-forgotten sensation of lips against his, but said lips don't come back.
"Kookie, we're nearly drunk..." Taehyung smiles apologetically, looking at him with a fond gaze that has Jungkook's head spin. "I don't want to do something we might regret later...
-I won't regret... Please Taehyung, I need it, I need you..." He spots the brown-haired male's Adam apple bobbing up and down, his eyes suddenly becoming hesitant as they land on Jungkook's awaiting lips.
The next second, the taller man feels an unimaginable softness against his lips, making him close his eyes in the instant. There are so many unspoken feelings that they convey through this gesture, so many apologies and promises, that Jungkook forgets the whole world around him and there's only Taehyung left. The kiss only lasts a few seconds, but when they lean back they can already feel that the atmosphere between them has changed. It's more intimate, and full of a tension that wasn't there before, but a good kind of tension. Jungkook wants nothing more but to continue, yet he knows that Taehyung is right: the alcohol has them more relaxed than usual, and if they keep going like this, they might rush things. But Jungkook wants the two of them to take their time rediscovering each other, so that even if he's dying to do so, he doesn't lean forward to catch his husband's lips with his again. Besides, they're in a public place right now, and even if no one saw them, making out in a restaurant doesn't seem like the best idea...
"Wow...
-Yeah." Taehyung smiles brightly and Jungkook follows him, even beginning to laugh at some point. Wine and kisses combined truly have a funny effect on him...
"We should go..." He says after calming down, needing to feel the outside air cooling him down as it's too hot inside. Besides, he doesn't like the fact other customers could see them acting so intimate with each other if they looked closely. Taehyung nods, a little smile still etched on his face, and they both go downstairs. They bicker for a few minutes about who should pay, and Jungkook eventually wins by handing his credit card to the waitress so quickly that his husband doesn't have time to stop him.
"You'll invite me for our next date, come on..." Jungkook says as they exit the restaurant, the fake pout on Taehyung's lips morphing into a hopeful smile.
"Because there will be a next time?
-I thought it was obvious..." The raven-haired male shrugs, blushing a little so that Taehyung can't help but giggling a little, wine helping. "Anyway, we can't go home like that... We both drank too much.
-Jeez, I hadn't thought about this..." Taehyung huffs, wondering how the hell he is going to get back to his flat, which is quite far from the restaurant.
"You could..." Jungkook begins before cutting himself, looking a bit flustered.
"I could...?" Taehyung encourages him, impatient to know what Jungkook has in mind.
"SleepatHoseok'swithme?" The words come out in a jumble, but Taehyung still manages to understand and he raises his eyebrows in surprise.
"Y-You think it's a good idea? Would Hoseok be okay anyway?
-We will only sleep, it can't harm us... And I know Hoseok will be alright with it. He's not even home anyway, he's at-" Once again he stops in the middle of his sentence, sending a hesitant gaze to Taehyung. "He's at Jimin's.
-Oh... Well, good for him." Taehyung says, brushing the words off as he doesn't want to think about the other man right now. Not tonight, when he's spending such a good time with Jungkook. "Anyway, if you think it's alright, then I'm okay with it."
That's how they end walking together towards Hoseok's house, that is also Jungkook's home as well now. They take their time, enjoying the fresh air that caresses their skin, holding each other by the waist so that they never end up feeling cold. The house is silent when they enter, and they don't break the peaceful atmosphere until they're into Hoseok's guest room, that has now become Jungkook's bedroom.
"I'm gonna lend you some night clothes..." Jungkook mutters while opening the wardrobe, handing a hoodie and shorts to his husband. The latter takes them, yet he suddenly remains frozen as he realises he's embarrassed at the thought of changing in front of his husband. The latter senses his trouble, immediately adding: "Y-You can go to the bathroom, if you need..." Taehyung nods before almost fleeing towards the said room, sighing in relief when he closes the door behind him. His body has gotten leaner and more muscled during the last month, he knows it, yet he feels like undressing in front of Jungkook would be impossible for the moment. He's still not confident about his body, and he is way too afraid of the possibility the raven-haired male could find him ugly.
Jungkook is already in bed when he goes back to the bedroom, reading a book with his glasses perched on his nose. He removes them and puts the book back on the nightstand, patting the spot next to him with a shy little smile.
Taehyung is almost trembling when he gets under the covers, the two of them not knowing how to act around each other anymore. It's been so long they haven't slept in the same bed, considering Jungkook used to sleep on the couch even before leaving their apartment...
The light goes off, plunging them in the dark, and Taehyung wants to get closer to the raven-haired male, yet he doesn't find the courage to do so. However, he hears Jungkook shifting and suddenly there is a source of heat on his right, making him find the courage to turn on his side in order to face Jungkook. They're not touching, but their bodies are very close, making Taehyung feel all warm. Too often, he had found his bed too cold without Jungkook at night...
"Good night, Kookie...
-Sleep tight, Tae."
And the brown-haired male does, sleeping like a baby with a relaxed expression on his features for the first time in too long.
----
Hoseok and Jimin are both sitting on the latter's couch, the two of them staring into space and keeping a one-meter distance between them. Jimin's laptop is on the coffee table in front of them, the movie they were previously watching providing a light background noise, now completely forgotten. There is an empty pizza box next to it, along with two glasses that were previously full of soda, attesting of their previous feast. The clock's hand indicates two in the morning on the wall facing them.
The silence between them is heavy, and none of them knows what to say at this moment. How had this happened? What had actually led them to do this? Jimin doesn't understand, and he tries to think about a reason that could explain their earlier behaviour, yet his head is a mess and he can't think straight. On the other side Hoseok is overwhelmed with guilt, his eyes squeezed shut and his brain pounding painfully into his skull. How could he do this to Taehyung and Jungkook? He can't even call himself a real friend anymore...
"W-We shouldn't have done that." Hoseok breathes out after long minutes, finally opening his eyes but still not looking in Jimin's direction.
"Yeah... It was a bad idea.
-I'm sorry.
-No, it's me, I started it..." Hoseok gulps at Jimin's words, these ones reminding him of the earlier scene against his will. He could still feel the sensation of Jimin's lips against his...
It had all started half an hour ago: the two of them had snuggled close in order to watch a movie, after eating and talking for hours. That's when Hoseok had started feeling in a cuddly mood, as he isn't used to be fondled since he lives alone most of the time, and that Jungkook isn't one to be tactile with his friends. But to be honest, Hoseok really likes cuddles, and Jimin is often inclined to give him what he wanted. That's why putting his head on Jimin's chest while the latter's hand was running into his hair hadn't seemed odd, but casual.
However, he couldn't call what had followed casual. Beginning to kiss Jimin's neck because it was a warm place and that Hoseok felt cold definitely wasn't. And having the younger responding by lowering his head and catching his lips wasn't either. Nor was kissing him back so fervently that Jimin still had the faint marks of his teeth on his lips.
"I should go..." The psychologist murmurs while getting up, yet suddenly Jimin is tugging hard at his wrist, making him turn around and finally look at him.
"No! Please, I beg you Seokkie, don't leave me... I'm so sorry, I did something wrong, but- I can't lose you just like I lost Taehyung and Jungkook..." Tears are rolling on his cheeks, and Hoseok suddenly feels the urge to comfort him: he has never put up well with seeing the younger cry.
"Alright... Alright, I don't leave." He mutters while sitting back on the couch, right next to Jimin this time, before caging his face into his hands gently and wiping his tears with his thumbs. Yet the other man doesn't stop hiccuping, droplets leaving his eyes ceaselessly so that Hoseok eventually takes him into his arms instead. "Shh... I'm here, Jiminnie. I promise I won't let you go...
-S-Seokkie... Oh my God, I fucked up...
-Well, you weren't the only one, don't worry... I didn't really reject you, to say the least." Arms tighten against his waist, Jimin's face buried into his shirt and wetting the said piece of fabric. But Hoseok would rather have him wet his entire wardrobe in tears if it could comfort him at least a little.
They stay into that position for a long while, Jimin's tears eventually stopping to pour out and the two of them hugging in silence, trying to understand the reason why they kissed earlier. Were they feeling that lonely? Had it only been a way for them to evacuate their frustration of not being with someone? Or was there more to it?
"You know what... We should talk about it tomorrow. We're way too tired for now anyway." Hoseok eventually utters, feeling Jimin nodding into his chest.
Jimin doesn't have a guest room, so that they end up sleeping into his bed. It happened a lot of times before, but today the atmosphere feels way different. They both remain silent in the dark, wanting to sleep quickly so that their minds would finally go blank, yet not wanting to at the same time because the next day would come way too quickly then, along with the conversation they need to have about that kiss.
"Minnie...?" The said boy hears, Hoseok whispering just in case his friend was already asleep.
"Yeah?
-One more wouldn't hurt, right?"
The next second, Hoseok feels Jimin's lips against his. They remain only a few seconds, but it's enough to make his head spin in the best kind of way. It's strange, how kisses usually don't have this effect on him.
After that, the two men fall asleep quickly, not caring about the fact their arms that winded around each other's waist during the kiss haven't budged ever since. But is it Hoseok's fault if he's always feeling cold, and that Jimin is so warm?
****
I hope you liked this chapter and that you're waiting eagerly for the next one to come ^^