CHAPTER NINE- New surroundings.
Ashley’s POV:
Stirring my straw around in the thick red liquid in front of me like I somehow thought this would make it disappear I looked back up at Ellie and her serious expression.
“Well,” She said flatly but somehow filled with concern. “Spill, where were you.”
I just looked at her for a second then looked back down to the beverage in front of me and wondered how many calories were in it and how many minutes of familiar exercise it would take to work it off. This is bad.
“Nowhere.”
I repeated barely passing as a single word it was so quiet and shaky.
“You were clearly somewhere.”
She pushed and I almost rolled my eyes, although I didn’t quite have the audacity to do that. I was just tired, fed up and willing myself to be anywhere but here right now.
“What are you doing today?”
She asked moving on from the past ten minutes we had spent with her trying to get out of me where I went last night.
“Building inspection. Police interview. Fuck knows.”
I guessed aimlessly adding a curse at the end which I wasn’t even completely sure related but did I really care?
“Wow. Someone’s happy.”
“Oh yeah, this is just wonderful.”
I snapped lacing my tone with sarcasm. Something which she was all too used to.
“Right, that’s it. What’s up? It’s not just the studio thing, is it? Has something happened between you and Niall?”
“What? No, of course not.”
I probably sounded more disappointed than I wanted anyone to know but I guess again, shit happens.
“What is it then? Do I have to go and ask the guy or what?”
“No, you don’t.”
I retorted and she raised her eye-brows holding her phone out as an indication that she wasn’t afraid to ask him which I defiantly didn’t want.
“He called me last night to tell me that my apartment got trashed.”
I blurted and her eyes widened she hastily slid her phone back into her pocket and lurched back forward onto the stool opposite me and leant across the worktop towards me her mouth open.
“What?!”
“You heard me.”
“What the fuck?”
“I know.”
“What are we what the fucking about then young lady?”
My father’s deep voice pierced our uneasy conversation as he raised his eye-brows at Ellie’s curse in a joking fashion but at the same time a scolding one.
“Ash…Ashley’s New York apartment got broken into last night.”
She informed him and I slammed my head down onto the work top in despair that she had just totally spilled what I didn’t want him to know yet.
“Are you kidding?”
“Dad you know I never kid.”
She said in a somewhat desperate tone and I again, almost rolled my eyes, but didn’t. I drew in a deep breath preparing myself for either an overload of pity, scolding or anger.
“Ashley why the hell didn’t you tell me?!”
Scolding and anger. Lovely.
I sat back up removing my face from the smell of the anti-bac cleaning products that the work surface sported.
“I only found out last night. It wasn’t like you were around to tell.”
“How’d you find out?! Was anything stolen?”
I sucked in another deep breath wondering if an updated and edited version of who told me was necessary here but then I decided that lies only dug myself a deeper hole and that was the last thing I needed right now.
“N…Niall told me.”
“Niall? As in-“
“Yes, Niall.”
I concluded trying to make this seem almost normal but everyone knew it was far from it. It’s been a year of absolutely nothing and suddenly we’re talking again, maybe even friends. This is utterly ridiculous and I can’t decide whether I am out of my comfort zone or not giving me an un-familiar and definitely not welcome sense of un-organisation and uncertainty.
For a moment he just looked at me the questioning look on his face rubbing me the wrong way as I turned in my seat slightly shifting so I was square on with him even if he was over five metres away from me I felt the need to defend. I didn’t know why and I wasn’t sure I liked it.
“Something you care to share Ashley?”
He asked in the same manner as everyone else had when they decided it was well due time to start questioning if and what was going on between Niall and I. In all honesty I wish something was going on but I just have the same one worded 2 syllable answer, nothing.
“No.”
“I think you should well have an explanation. I’m not asking for every detail about what’s happening between Niall and you I’m asking for an explanation of why he was the one who gave you the call to let you know and nobody else did.”
It wasn’t like I could explain this myself. I didn’t know. All I knew was what Niall had told me in our mere five minute phone call six hours ago. He would have given me more information if I didn’t cut him short and told him I would call him back and never did. Him being the respectful and understanding person he is; didn’t bother me, knowing I would come around when I was ready.
“Niall has been checking up on my apartment for me while I was here and this just happened to happen just before he turned up there. He doesn’t know anything more than me; apart from there was this guy in the lift when he arrived.”
I informed my father with the coolest tone I could muster.
“I’m calling your landlord.”
“Dad, it’s nothing to do with them.”
“It most certainly is Ashley. It’s their fault for letting someone who was going to do something like that into the building in the first place.”
I sighed inwardly tangling my hair in between my fingers and yanking at it a bit, this was really quite the bit stressful.
“Can we just leave it or something until I get back there?”
I pleaded knowing full well this wasn’t going to work.
“When you get back there Ashley do you really think you’re going to be able to live there?”
I sighed again deciding I might as well just spill my whole situation. What have I got to lose?
“I’m not going back there anywhere. We’re going to LA.”
“Who’s we?”
He asked sceptically.
“Me and the boys. I’m temporally working for One Direction.”
“You’re what?”
“Haven’t you heard what happened to where I work? They got like robbed and had to shut down for a few weeks. So I got dumped with a temporary job and it happened to be as their stylist. Figures, huh.”
“How ever did we not know about this?”
He exclaimed and then as I looked back up I realised that the we was in fact valid as my Mother now stood in the doorway with her mouth open and her hands on her hips.
I shrugged.
“I wasn’t under the impression it bothered you.”
“You think that’s wise Ashley? To be working so closely with Niall. You know my views.”
My Mother snapped and flashbacks from the many conversations regarding a break up with Niall before and after it actually happened making me feel sick.
“It’s not like I have a choice and I never said I cared what you thought anyway.”
“Ashley in the lounge right now please. We need to have a serious conversation.”
She commanded and I rolled my eyes.
“Mum you’re being ridiculous Ashley can-“
Ellie began to reason.
“You young lady are not even supposed to be here. Tash is expecting you in ten minutes and you’re still here.”
Ellie rolled her eyes picking up her bag and shooting me a look as she pushed past my Mother and slammed the front door behind her.
“Now.”
My Mother hissed and I muttered a few curse words under my breath as I pushed past her slouching into the sofa.
“How long have you been doing this job?”
She questioned.
“Just over a week.”
I informed her bluntly.
“How much longer?”
“A few weeks or so.”
“Happy?”
“Don’t care.”
“Interesting.”
“Yup.”
I recited in our quick fire conversation.
“What’s going on between you and Niall then?”
“Nothing’s going on.”
“Somehow I find that hard to believe. You were quite the pair; I can’t believe you’re nothing to each other now.”
“We’re friends,” I told her. “That is all.”
-
“You want us to meet you there?”
Niall asked through the phone as my car pulled up at Heathrow and I was finally free of my Mother’s scolding’s and telling of how nothing should ever be going on between Niall and I again.
“No,” I told him. “It will just give them something more to talk about.”
“Sure? Cus I…We don’t mind.”
“No, it’s seriously fine. Look, I’ve gotta go.”
“Okay, if you’re sure then. Right, of course you have. Fine, see you later.”
“Bye.”
I said ending the call.
I sighed as a few flashes of the camera blew up like dynamite as soon as I stepped out of the car and was shoved by security towards the doors of the airport.
After a ten hour flight that I slept for the majority of I couldn’t really muster up any motivation to face Claire and winced as the speakers boomed that we were landing in LA. Due to the messed up time differences it was now midnight here seriously messing my brain up but I guess I’d get used to it.
After pushing my way through crowds and ignoring paps questions I shoved my list of directions to the driver that directed me to the ‘house’ we were staying in as apparently it was more secretive than a hotel and would mean that it’d be easier to be away from fans. I couldn’t say I was over-joyed neither was I going to complain. Maybe I had been fed up of having to move all the time, never fully un-packing, un sure of how long I was going to be hanging around for.
The amount of lanes we were going down began to nag at my questioning of whether this driver could even read maps and knew where we were going. The flash and chaos of the city was left behind about half an hour ago and there was a strange sense of sea air around making me question if this was even the right house and began my planning of revenge if the boy’s had given me the wrong directions as a laugh, a laugh lacking in humour nonetheless.
“Beach holiday miss?”
The driver asked me and I bit my lip.
“No, work.”
“Oh. Well interesting job then, you’ve got yourself a private beach coming up in about ten minutes in these parts. You sure this is right?”
“Better be.”
Private beach? I do really not see how Claire is allowing the boy’s to have this luxury if this is right. I was considering texting Louis or someone to check but then I would most likely receive an answer that related in no way to what I wanted to know and ended up being all mysterious so I didn’t. Concluding that after looking so imperfect last night I wanted to look half decent for greeting the boys after a week. I brought out my compact touching up my lipstick and tweaking my hair a bit before pulling me knee high socks up a bit and tightening the laces on my brogues. I love my brogues, maybe even more than some pairs of heels I own.
It was warm and possibly even bikini weather but it was needless to say I would not be wearing one if it came to we did indeed have a private beach. It’s not even strangers I care about seeing what my body’s like so the concept of a private beach really makes no difference; it’s the concept of people that aren’t strangers seeing and knowing.
It was a beach house. All clues were pointing towards this but I still had that slither of hope that maybe it’d just be something normal. Or maybe something huge so I could keep my distance but it was neither. Larger than average and smaller than large, it was a complete and utter opposite of anything that is claimed to be business like.
The moonlight cast out on the golden sand and reflected on the water giving me a strange sense of déjà vu from when I was in Ireland with Niall last year and we went to the river in the middle of the night and the familiar way the light from the moon shone on the water, occasionally rippled and then regaining itself as a whole with ease. Like realtionships, sometimes things get out of line, a ripple in the water can throw you off course, but if you really put love into it, it regains itself as a whole again.
Recalling memories such as this one made me want to cry again but I just kept on telling myself this wasn’t normal anymore. I shouldn’t still be reacting like this over a relationship that ended a year ago. I am not normal anymore. In all aspects of everything. I still cry myself to sleep at night if I even do sleep over a boy that I unwillingly broke up with a year ago. I still love that same boy after a year. I eat hardly anything and I throw myself into work because it’s a distraction from the pain I still feel from missing Niall. I hardly ever sleep anyway and I can’t slip out of my old routine.
And now, being thrown into this job out of the blue with the boys and Niall after nothing happening between us for so long, it’s messing me up. Throwing me off guard and I am anything but organised and I hate it. I hate being un-organised and waking up and not knowing what I’m going to be doing that day, everything worked like clockwork a few weeks ago and it was fine. Everything was under control and most of all, I felt in control and that’s what I needed. I hated not being in control. I keep my life and routine on a very short lead and now it’s veering off dangerously to the left because it’s anything but right and it’s stressing me out to an end and I know that the only person that’s ever been able to relieve me from the stress I build myself up to is Niall but I don’t have him anymore and it’s my fault and this is my punishment so I just serve it, but what my even meaning is to keep going anymore is becoming more and more faint. I guess I’m just living in the distant hope that maybe one day I could be happy again, but right now, it’s seeming like the most un-likely thing ever.
I thanked my driver as he set my bags down by the door for me and as I was about to jab my finger against the doorbell I was startled as the door was flung open to reveal Louis, shirtless with some pyjamas bottoms on and messy hair. They really weren’t joking.
“Ashleeey!”
He squeaked pulling me into a hug that lasted for a few long seconds.
“Claire isn’t here until Wednesday so don’t worry babe! You’re all good.”
He informed me and I cocked my head to the side questioning as to why this was.
“We have tomorrow and Tuesday off and we have a surprise for you tomorrow but we’re not telling you until tomorrow so don’t ask!”
He explained.
“Right.”
I said stepping back outside onto the decking of the porch the only light the dim glow of the porch lights surrounding us. Picking up two suitcases and bringing them into the hall he quickly did the same picking up my last overnight bag.
“So you wanna be quiet cus everyone else is asleep and stuff. I’ll just show you to your room cus I bet you’re really tired and all. So um, yeah.”
“I’m actually not that tired, I slept on the plane, but thanks.”
“Oh right, how was your flight?”
I shrugged.
“I guess it was okay. I was asleep.”
I reminded him and he chuckled.
“Oh yeah, so you were.”
He smiled beginning to drag my suitcases up the stairs in the dark not really giving me a lot of time or room to see the house but I guess I didn’t really mind, after all, is it almost two in the morning. He showed me where everyone else’s rooms were too.
“Oh yeah…” He said as we passed what I could only assume to be Niall’s room. “He was kinda waiting for you but then he fell asleep.”
Louis informed me gesturing to a shirtless Niall crashed out half leant against the wall on his bed with the moonlight shining through the un-closed curtains highlighting his face and cheekbones perfectly.
I just nodded as he pointed to a closed door which was apparently my room, it was opposite Zayn’s and just a bit further up from Niall’s since his was next to Zayn’s.
He opened the door and it was pretty plain but maybe that was what I needed. It was open plan and airy with an open window and a small balcony. A double bed was occupying the middle of the room and a chest of drawers on the right side. It had a walk in wardrobe meaning the bathroom was pretty small but that was okay because it had all I needed. A sink, small bath and shower. We wouldn’t be here forever anyway. The light from the moon was slanting across the carpet in a triangle shape and a cool breeze was whipping through the window.
“You can close that if you like. You got the balcony room, you’re lucky, you know. There were great arguments over that.”
“I bet there were.”
I smiled as I set my bags down at the foot of my bed and examined the room a bit further.
“Well I guess I’ll see you in the morning then.”
He said with a smile which I returned as he gave me a wink and closed the door and I heard his footsteps go back down the stairs and a few lights flicker on.
I looked around the room not bothering to turn any lights on but a small lamp as I opened the balcony doors and the cool night air greeted me as I looked out at the beach. The waves were slowly crashing against the rocks licking the shore in a frothy white spray and the moon was still scarcely bright a few clouds cluttering the dark sky but none were covering the moon.
Then it hit me. That feeling I had been experiencing that I had failed to conceal something from Niall when I left New York for London but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Now suddenly out of the blue it was right there and it was making my palms sweaty that he could possibly know. That day he came over to ‘collect’ me, the same day I had left for London. I had rushed to my bedroom sure that if he found out I still had that picture it would be one clue too many that I still wasn’t over him. I shoved it underneath my bed, right next to where I keep my fish food. What if he found it? He had to of seen it, right? It’s pretty impossible not to when it’s right next to the thing I specifically asked him to use every day when he went over there.
Shit.
I am so stupid.
Concluding there was nothing I could do if he had or hadn’t found it I shrugged it off walking back into my room and flipping open the lid of my second suitcase. The red materiel of his hoodie was nevertheless poking out underneath some shorts so I pulled it out and dug deep underneath all the clothes I had in there and shoved it right at the bottom concealing the obvious colour away from any searching eyes as this would just be another conclusion too far that I was reluctant to let him and the memories go.
I waited a full half an hour for Louis to finally go to bed and turn the lights out so I could pull on a thick chunky knit cardigan and creep down the stairs. The wooden stairs creaked with each step and I was about to clear the last one when a voice interrupted me.
“Ashley?”
Zayn. Lovely. I suppose it’s better than Niall, or Louis. I cringed as I turned around to look up at him and he was stood at the top of the stairs in his boxers only his hair flat and a tired yet confused expression plastered on his face.
“Yes?”
I squeaked hoping I wouldn’t have to explain myself because I really did not have any answers.
“What are you doing?”
“Just going out for a bit of air?”
I tried sounding more like a question than an explanation but I think he brought it anyway, because really, that was all that I was doing.
“Oh,” He said stiffly. “Right. Well just don’t be too long, be back before everyone gets up, okay?”
He checked and I nodded.
“Sure.”
I assured him offering a small smile which he returned as he stumbled back off to his room closing the door behind him.
I crossed the last step pulling my socks up higher as the porch lights flicked on highlighting the imperfectness of the un-tied laces of my brogues again and I hastily bent down pulling them into tight bows and tucking them in before shoving my hands deep into my pockets and crossing the decking and down the steps onto the beach.
I carefully sat down on the rocks as I watched the waves crash against them. Hugging my knees to my chest I looked out over the horizon and wondered for the first time in a while where I would be right now if I hadn’t listened to my mother and moved here. If I had stayed with Niall, what would have happened? Maybe I will never know. Or maybe what would have happened will come in the future, late. But really, better late than never, right? I hope so.
I could feel someone watching me and it was making me uncomfortable and my palms sweaty. So I turned around scanning the sand but I could see nothing so as I looked up to the house and settled my eyes on the porch it was clear who was watching me. Only wearing his boxers his face wasn’t really visible under the dim lights of the porch, his blonde hair was scruffy and for a second we just stared at each other and then he turned back around disappearing back into the house and closing the door behind him. I watched as a light flickered on upstairs and then turned off again and everything resumed to silence. Complete and utter silence, just what I’m used to.
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A/N
heey guys!
suprise!
haha I'm still uploading at 7:30 tonight to make up for not uploading on friday but heey.
haha this chapter is a bit shit tbh but the next one is muuuuch better;) so my apoligies for this chapter.
In other news,
I GOT FUCKING TWITTER.
hehe you should all follow me cus I follow back and l you should like tweet me all the time cus I am just so awseome(:
https://twitter.com/#!/PaintedWriting
giving you that link because I am not enterily sure if it works if you just type in my name:3
alright so I'll see you tonight but it might not be 7:30 exactly:s but byee!
-Emily.