In Search of Myself

By emmybear

282 7 1

Raegan Peirce is a 17 year old werewolf. She was captured when she was 15 by the Prescott pack. A vicious pac... More

In Search of Myself

Part 1

71 4 0
By emmybear

"Here doggy, doggy." A soft sadistic voice cooed from nearby in the trees. I trembled silently and pressed my back against the rough tree bark behind me. I heard footsteps crunch on snow off to my left and I tucked my tail between my legs and resisted the urge to whimper. I knew if I made a sound that Breccan would be on me in an instant. The Alpha's eighteen year old son was just as cocky and narcissistic as his father. I feared for the day he would succeed his father to become Alpha. He would probably take after his father. Cassius was a cruel Alpha. 

He had the views that if you weren't strong you were worth nothing. He was sexist and women in his pack were treated like slaves. All but his precious wife, Merissa. She was treated like a princess. If she found something she didn't like about you then it would prudent of you to cower in fear. From the outside she was a dainty queen who seemed to only be concerned about superficial matters. Truthfully she was a cold ruthless bitch who wasn't above blackmail and treachery to get her way. 

I slowly backed up through the forest stepping on melting snow piles to avoid making sounds. Breccan had been bored of terrorizing the pack and decided it was time for some of his favorite game. Wolf Hunt. It was basically a game of hide and seek, with much more grievous consequences if they find me. Breccan and his friends against me. I started off with a score off fifty. For every minute I made it my score went down one. Once they found me they would give me one cut with a knife for every point I had left. Needless to say, it wasn't my favorite game.  

As a werewolf I healed quickly enough for it to not have lasting effects but who would want to be deliberately cut. Certainly not me. I threw my all into this game. Cassius helped Breccan make up the game the day after we arrived here. I have gotten good at Wolf Hunt but so has Breccan. I never escape unscathed. My attention was brought back to my surroundings when I heard breathing approach me. I quickly bounded away but my paw hit an unexpectedly deep snowdrift and I tumbled over.  

I quickly sprang to my paws and came eye to eye with a man. I held my breath as we stared at each other. It was Mark, who was one of Breccan's friends. He had shaggy blonde hair that always was tousled. He had hazel eyes and was currently sporting an indecisive expression. I waited to see what he would do, hoping that against all odds that he would let me go. Please. I begged him in my thoughts. I had caught him giving me pitying looks when no one was around before. His face smoothed out and I waited anxiously to know his decision.  

I let my breath out in a humph of relief as he slowly brought his finger to his lips and backs away and vanished into the depths of the forest. I hadn't known any of Breccan's acolytes had any good inside of them. It was nice to know they had a week link. I had approximately thirty minutes left of the game. I trotted to the South where the trees thickened. This would hide me more efficiently and also hinder their human forms if it came down to a pursuit.  

I stood still when I recognized a barrage of scents coming towards me. Lee, Jordan, and Breccan were heading my way at a steady jog which meant they had probably discovered my tracks. Damn. I growled slightly and loped off at a steady ground eating pace. I passed a bush and my tail snagged. I yelped in pain as a tuft of my fur yanked out and was left on the thorn bush. My momentary distraction cost me a lot of ground and they were fast catching up to me. I lengthened my strides into a flat out sprint. I weaved through the trees trying to throw them off. 

A hill crested in front of me and I leaped straight to the tope to conserve time. Until I tumbled down a fifteen foot drop I hadn't noticed that the other side of the hill sloped in a steep decline. I lay on my side at the bottom breathing heavily, winded from the impact. Before I could catch my breath the boys peered at me from the top of the hill. A few seconds later almost synchronized three thuds sounded as they jumped down around me. I climbed to my paws still breathing heavily. I glared at them. Lee averted his brown eyes from my green ones but Jordan gave me a cocky smirk as he retuned my eye contact. 

A slow clap sounded. I whipped my muzzle around to look at Breccan as he peered at his watch. "Wow, Raegan you managed to last three minutes longer than last time. Good job." A slightly disappointed look crossed his face as he mock congratulated me. I steeled myself for what was to come. Three minutes longer then last time meant I had eighteen points left. Eighteen cuts. I could handle that. Breccan shoved me back to the ground on my side as he fastened a chain leash to my silver collar. 

He kneeled down next to me and held out his hand to Jordan who placed a long hunting knife in his hand, his face sporting a malicious grin as he did so. I closed my eyes and held in a whine as he brought the knife down to my skin. One. A slash of pain signified the first cut had been made. Two. Another cut was laid down on my shoulder next to the first. Three. This wasn't too bad, I could take the pain. I rethought that when his hand came down again and slipped causing this wound to be twice as long and jagged as the others. Four. Five. Six. Seven. After the seventh my shoulder numbed and I didn't register the rest.  

A few slices before eighteen two men and a wolf thundered through the trees to us. Breccan immediately stood and bowed his head to them. "Father." He said this in a respectful tone. I stood and looked to see why he had used such a respectful gesture. The three highest rank wolves in the pack stood before us. Cassius, the Alpha. Paul, the Beta. The shifted wolf was the third in command, Auberon. He has short smooth russet fur and yellow eyes. Cassius had crew cut brown hair with red highlights in it. Paul had short brunette hair and brown eyes. 

I took a second to appraise them, but then I wondered why such high ranking wolves were here. As if he was answering my question Cassius stepped forward and spoke. "Breccan, there is pack business you need to attend. I'm calling a pack meeting. We have seen signs of threatening rogue wolves in our territory. It's time you start training as befits your position." Breccan looked shocked that he was going to have to actually do something. He opened his mouth.... Then he closed it. Then opened it again. "But, but I'm doing something." He nodded to me. Cassius' eyes went to me and at their hard gaze I overcame my pride and forced my blood encrusted body to the ground in a sign of submission. My shoulder twanged in pain but I ignored it and lowered my gaze to his feet. 

I've learned the hard way that humbling myself is a lot less painful than being defiant. Especially to Cassius, he has a short temper and quick reflexes. Encounters with him can leave a bruise. He snapped out at Breccan. "And what of her? You can play with your pet later. Now go put her up and join us in the hall. Or I don't care, bring her with." With that he turned away and signaled to Auberon who howled a command out, telling the pack about the meeting in fifteen minutes.  

With that they disappeared into the trees. "Damn, we're going to have to hurry if we want to get cleaned up and be on time for the meeting." Lee said in consternation. "Yeah." Breccan agreed with him as he tugged on my leash. I limped after him at a swift trot. My shoulder was stiff with a coat of dried blood on it from the cuts but they were starting to close up so I'd be fine. 

Soon we reached the small rustic neighborhood that was the pack dwellings. There were several huge buildings that all had different purposes. Those were situated in a circle around the courtyard type cleared area. Surrounding those were tons of smaller buildings that went from very nice to run down shacks as you got to the edges. The higher your status and rank the closer you lived to the middle. Weaving in and out of the buildings were young guys and girls. These adolescents were prisoners of the packs this one conquered.  

They basically took the higher ranks children, tortured them in front of their parents. Killed their parents, and then kept the children as slaves. A scrawny little girl passed by me carrying a bundle. Her cheeks were sunken in and dirt and bruises covered her skin. My heart went out to her. I was brought out of my thoughts by a sharp kick in my side as I veered too close to Breccan. He dragged me by the leash again as I wasn't walking fast enough for him. The silver collar sent up a dull burn in my neck. 

The boys parted ways and Breccan led me to the biggest house. It was two stories and was the closest to the center of the circle. He pulled me inside and through the kitchen to his room. There he promptly shoved me into a cage. He grabbed some clothes and I closed my eyes. While Breccan was attractive with tousled almost black hair and dark blue eyes and a ripped body, sadistic psycho isn't really my type and I would prefer not to see him naked.  

I breathed a sigh of relief when he left for the meeting. I circled on the cold hard floor and lay down. When I found a comfy position I licked my shoulder the metallic taste of my own blood tasting foul on my tongue. When I had cleaned all the cuts I appraised them. There were twelve, seven of them closed up. The one that was twice as long didn't want to close up so I gave it a good lick so the chemicals that all werewolves have in our saliva could close it up. I licked the rest to be safe and the first few slowly faded into thin white scars, joining the collection of silvery scars that were littered across my body. Marks that testified to the two years I had survived with Breccan Prescott and the rest of his pack. 

The door slowly creaked open and I tensed up turning to the door. A slender hand reached in and opened in the rest of the way. Peyton walked in and I lolled my tongue out in a wolfy grin at her, telling her that I was okay. Her shoulders slumped in relief and I once again thanked my lucky stars that I had a friend like her in this hellhole. About six months after Cassius abducted me and brought me here I was being starved to the point where I was too weak to move and my ribs protruded.  

Peyton felt pity for me and brought me food. After she removed the silver chain from around my muzzle so I could eat I changed. After she realized I wasn't the big bad wolf she repeatedly visited me whenever she could without arousing suspicion. Without her I truthfully don't know if I could have survived this long without her. She was a year younger than me so right now she was sixteen. I'm not sure why she decided to help me in the first place. She had a comfortable life as the only daughter of a middle rank pack member. 

She crept over to the door of the cage and unlatched it. She crawled in with me and unfastened the sliver collar. I set my head against her stomach and pushed her back so I could have room. I groaned as the change started to sweep over me. It wasn't usually painful except when you haven't changed for a while. She hadn't visited me for three months so my muscles, bones and tendons resisted the change stretching and conforming to my human shape bringing me pain.  

When the change was complete I kneeling on the floor, every part of me trembling from the viciousness of the change. As I sat there panting to regain my breath, Peyton gave me a sympathetic look. "I don't know if I'll be able to shift back if I go much longer than three months without shifting." I croaked out. My voice was very hoarse after not being used for a while. Peyton looked at me anxiously, her blue eyes giving away her concern for me. "Yeah, I remember how hard it was for you to shift the first time I visited. It took half an hour. I brought you some food and clothes. The pack meeting should last for at least another hour so we also have time to get you cleaned up." She stated in her soft voice.  

She brushed back her long blonde hair and hurried over to me. She placed her arm around my shoulders and helped me up. My legs protested at not being used so long in my human form. I groaned and stood up straighter. She helped me to Breccan's bathroom where she had me sit down on the toilet. "We have time for you to get a quick shower." She informed me of this while looking at her watch. My face lit up at the prospect of a shower. I quickly turned the water to an almost scalding temperature, just wanting the layered up dirt and grime to melt away as fast as possible.  

I sighed in ecstasy as I scrubbed my body, letting the waves of frothy soap drain away. Feeling rejuvenated I turned off the water and grabbed a fluffy towel. I wrapped it around myself and stepped out. Peyton pointed to a small pile of clean clothes sitting on the counter, a cotton tank top and shorts. I dressed myself while avoiding looking in the mirror. Eager to get away from the reflective sheet of glass I walked out of the bathroom. Only to be pulled back by Peyton.  

She turned me towards her with a serious expression on her face. "Why do you never look in the mirror, Raegan?" With my face downcast I answered truthfully. "Because I'm afraid I'll be disgusted by what I'll see. My body is covered in scars, Peyton. Who would consider that beautiful?" She pulled my face up so I was making eye contact with her. "Raegan, you are beautiful. Extremely beautiful. The scars just show how strong you are." A tear escaped down my face as I shook my head, wanting to be able to believe her words but unable too. 

She gently wiped the tear away and turned me towards the mirror. I closed my eyes, afraid of what I would see. "Open your eyes, Raegan." I did as she asked and my eyes rose to the mirror. My long chocolate brown hair had grown down to the top of my stomach. My eyes were still the same shocking bright green as always. I had full lips. My eyes were drawn to the left side of my face where a long thin silvery scar traced down from the side of my eyebrow to my jaw, tracing the shape of my face. With a burst of shock I realized that Peyton was correct. The scars didn't make me ugly they made me look like a survivor.  

Wordlessly I turned to Peyton and gave her a hug, realizing that I was about four inches taller than her short, petite frame. "How tall are you?" I questioned eager to know approximately how tall I was. "Five foot, five inches." I walked back to Breccan's room and sat down on his bed. She followed me but stopped to pick something up. Saliva pooled in my mouth, as I saw that she was carrying a basket of food. The only food Breccan gave me is dog food. I only ate it when I was absolutely starving. 

She opened the basket revealing subs and bread and apples. I immediately grabbed a roast beef sub and dug in. I didn't care that she saw me eat like a pig; she had seen me much worse. She watched me in concern, probably worried I was going to choke. She finally spoke up. "You can't keep living like this. We have got to get you out of here." I did choke after what she had said registered in my mind. After my throat was clear again I said acidly. "I know. Don't you think I've been trying to escape for the two years I've been here? Nothing has worked."  

"But all those attempt were made alone. Maybe if we worked together, we could figure something out that would work." "Why would you want to leave? From what you've told me you have an easy life." I fired back. Her expression tightened and her eyes became cold and hard. "I have my reasons." She said simply in a cold voice. Our discussion ended when we heard voices come down the hall and stop before the closed door. The handle halfway turned and my throat tightened up in fear. "Hey Breccan, let's go to the kitchen and get some food first." "Sounds good to me." 

The door handle was let go of and Breccan and Mark, whose voices it had been, stomped off down the hall. We immediately hurried. I crawled back into the cage and changed back into my wolf. Peyton threw everything into the basket, including the dirty towels and other stuff. She closed the cage door and latched it. In a whisper she promised me she would be back as soon as she could. I laid down and closed my eyes, wishing upon everything that Peyton's words had been true and there was some way for me to escape.

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