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Chapter 18
Countless
Jace Sy:
Morning!
My morning started with a message from Jace which was completely different than his message yesterday morning. You can immediately spot the changes, but the way I was feeling while reading it remained the same. It was like nothing had change.
I checked the time he sent the message and it had been only five minutes. I immediately typed my reply.
Me:
Good morning!
I was planning to put some emoticons, but I didn't allow myself to. He might find it too corny that was why I kept it plain and simple. At least I wished for his morning to be good and not like his literal morning message.
It might be an exaggerated use of figure of speech, but in a speed of light, I instantly got a reply from him.
I can never get enough of simple moments like this. We were just exchanging text messages but for me, it felt like we were already exchanging our vows.
Only my love for Jace can make me think of these silly thoughts.
Jace Sy:
I can't drive you to your office today. I have some son duties today. Need to chauffeur my mom and help her in buying groceries for tonight's dinner.
Reading his message being a good son made me smile. I replied that I understand before heading towards the bathroom. If I'm gonna wait for his reply, I wouldn't be able to take a bath and I'd be late for work.
After taking a bath, I went to my phone first and read his reply.
Jace Sy:
Thanks! I'll still be attending the meeting later, though. See you.
I sighed and as much as I'd love to text him back, I stopped myself. I wouldn't be able to do anything this morning if I'll keep on texting him. And so, I focused in preparing myself for today's work and tonight's dinner.
Rummaging through my closet of dresses, a simple light pink knee-length dress with golden floral embroideries caught my attention. It was simple yet elegant looking. I decided to wear that one.
After I was done, I went downstairs to find the dining area unusually quiet. Dad was the only person on the dining, sipping his coffee and reading newspaper which was issued today.
"Good morning, dad," I greeted him and kissed his cheek.
He beamed at me and signed me to sit down and eat some breakfast.
"Jace will not pick you up today?" he asked me while I'm putting foods on my plate.
Averting my eyes from the food, I looked at my dad and shook my head. "He'll accompany his mom grocery shopping," I answered. "But he'll go to my office later for our meeting, and we will go straight to their house after."
Daddy looked satisfied with my answer. He focused reading the newspaper again when my eyes drifted to my mom's vacant seat. My heart sank thinking about her. She wasn't here with us to eat breakfast.
I glanced at my father who seemed fine. I wondered if that was just his façade not to make me worry or they're really fine already.
"Dad..." I called his attention that I immediately got as soon as I called him.
"Hmm?" he hummed.
"Are you and mom okay already?" I asked him, hoping for a good answer.
Without hesitation, he smiled and nodded at me. "We're fine," he answered. "Don't worry about us too much. I can handle your mom."
"Nag-aalala lang ako, daddy..." sabi ko. "She's not here to eat breakfast with us."
He chuckled. "Your mom's still sleeping, and I don't want to wake her up."
Lumabi naman ako at saka tumango-tango. I was totally relieved to know that they're fine. Even if I kind of hated my mother right now, they're still my parents, and I didn't want them to fall apart.
Agad akong pumasok sa trabaho matapos kumain ng umagahan. I checked the powerpoint that I asked my secretary to make and did some slight revisions to it. Pinag-aralan ko rin ang bawat slide ng mabuti dahil ayaw kong pumalpak mamaya.
I knew that this was just an unofficial meeting for the project, but knowing that Jace's gonna be watching me, I wanted to do my best.
"Ma'am Za, Engineer Horan's already here." My secretary suddenly announced.
Napatingin naman ako sa orasan at nakitang thirty minutes siyang maaga.
"Uh... Papasukin mo muna siya rito sa office. Prepare the meeting room already," I told her.
"Okay po." She immediately did what she was told.
I saved the powerpoint on my laptop that I've read for over five times already. As I was fixing my stuff, Isha came inside my office.
"Uhm... I'm sorry if I'm this early," she apologized with a sly smile. "I was with a meeting earlier with a client. Malapit lang kasi rito kaya nang matapos ay dumiretso na ako."
Umiling naman ako at saka ngumiti. "Ayos lang. It's better to be early, than be late," sabi ko. "Upo ka muna."
"Thank you," she thanked me and gracefully sat on the couch.
She carefully placed her shoulder bag on her side before she sat straight with a good posture. I've never sat that way in my life because it makes me comfortable, but she can do it effortlessly and very natural.
I bet she had an award every year before for proper conduct and manner.
"Your office has a nice interior," she complimented as she looked around my office.
"Uh... Thanks!" I smiled at her. "May gusto ka bang inumin? Juice, water or coffee?"
She shook her head. "I'm fine. Thank you, by the way for the hospitality."
I can't believe that Jace didn't fall for her throughout the years that they've been together. It seemed impossible for him not to fall for someone like Isha who was almost perfect.
Nagpatuloy na lang ako sa pag-aayos ng aking gamit dahil pagkatapos ng meeting ay aalis na kami ni Jace papunta sa kanilang bahay. I'll bring my things to the meeting room already. Para hindi na kami bumalik sa office pagkatapos.
My phone suddenly chimed in the middle of silence. I glanced at it and smiled when I saw that Jace just sent me a text. Agad ko itong kinuha upang basahin.
Jace Sy:
Almost there. Give me ten minutes. See you.
I bit my lower lip, trying to stop myself from smiling wilder and typed my reply.
Me:
Okay. Ingat!
"Is that Jace?"
Gulat naman akong napaangat ng tingin kay Isha nang bigla siyang nagtanong sa akin.
"Uhm... Oo," sagot ko at tumango-tango bago ibinaba muli sa lamesa ang aking cellphone.
She smiled and stared down at her hands. "I'm happy for the both of you," she suddenly said.
My eyes slightly widened in surprise. She knew!
Well, I knew that she was Jace's best friend but I didn't expect Jace to tell her everything, especially what's in between us right now.
I stared at her and tried to decipher her expression. She was telling me that she was happy for us, but her expression was showing otherwise. Iba ang kanyang sinasabi kaysa sa ipinapakita niya.
"Jace likes to talk about you," she told me.
Mas lalo man lang akong nagulat at hindi makapaniwala dahil sa kanyang binitawang salita. Madalas akong ikwento ni Jace sa kanya?
"I know everything. Simula noong high school pa lang kayo, noong umalis ka at hanggang ngayon," sabi niya. "Jace was actually in denial for years about his feelings for you, and I accepted that. Mas gusto ko na ring paniwalaang wala nga siyang nararamdaman para sa'yo."
Kinagat ko ang aking ibabang labi at parang ayoko nang marinig pa ang mga susunod niyang sasabihin. Alam ko na ang gusto niyang sabihin at hindi niya na kailangan pang isatinig ang mga iyon. Tunog pa lang ng kanyang boses at kung paano niya simulan ang kanyang pananalita ay alam na alam ko na.
The sound of her voice was broken that imitated her heart that was also broken. I can feel the pain dripping on every word that she was spilling from her lips.
"I will not lie nor keep the truth because you deserve know, Zarina," she said.
She heaved and released a deep exhale before she stared straight at my eyes, preparing for a very hard confession.
"I like him," she confessed.
Parang nahulog ang aking puso dahil sa kanyang pag-amin. Nasasaktan ako para sa kanya pero nangangamba rin ako para sa aking sarili.
When Jace told me that he only sees Isha like his sibling, a very close friend or best friend, made me complacent. But hearing Isha's confession, shattered that complacency and made me feel completely threatened.
"I like Jace so much, Zarina." She made it clearer for me.
Bumagsak naman ang tingin ko sa aking lamesa. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong sabihin.
She suddenly let out a slight chuckle. "I can see that you're actually thinking deeply of what I just told you. Wala ka naman dapat ikabahala roon," sabi niya at muli akong nag-angat ng tingin sa kanya. "Gusto ko lang sabihin sa'yo ang nararamdaman ko dahil ayokong maging unfair sa'yo lalo na at may namamagitan sa inyo ni Jace. I don't want you to think like I'm some kind of snake trying to lure him away from you because I'm not and I won't."
Kahit na sinubukan niyang pakalmahin ang nararamdaman ko ay hindi pa rin ako naging kampante. Naniniwala ako sa mga sinasabi niya. I believed her words because she was a great person, but seeing how great she was made me tremble in fear.
What if Jace suddenly realizes Isha's worth and see that she's actually greater than me?
Trust―A word that my inner voice suddenly shouted from deep within me.
"Whatever you two have now, I'm not planning to break it. I'm not planning to compete with you. I respect your relationship," she said. "Jace actually knows about my feelings for him in case you're wondering. He already clarified that he doesn't like me romantically, and I'm just like his sister. The one that he loves that is already long due before he realized is you. And don't worry because I already started the process of moving on."
Isha stood up and got her bag from the couch. She came closer to me, and I was stunned when she suddenly gave me an embrace.
"Even if I'm hurting deep inside, I'm still happy for him," she whispered. "I just hope that you wouldn't make him regret opening up himself to you."
Her last words played inside my head just like a riddle that I wasn't able to comprehend in an instant.
As soon as she took a step back away from me, the door opened, and Jace let himself in my office.
He was actually surprised to find Isha inside my office.
"Isha?" He sounded assure. "I thought you still have a meeting with a client?"
Isha smiled at him, and I can tell that it was full of love. "It ended earlier than expected. I closed the deal, by the way." She chuckled at her last sentence. "Well, I think I should leave you both and give you some privacy. I'll go to the powder room first. Excuse me."
She gave me one last smile and tapped Jace's shoulder as a greeting before she went out of my office.
Jace shot me a curious look and raised his eyebrows.
"Looks like you two just had a girl conversation thingy that she and my twin usually has," he guessed.
I just stared at him while trying to weigh his expression. Of course, he didn't have any clue.
"Did I do something wrong that I'm not aware of?" he asked. "Is it because I failed to drive you earlier? I thought it was okay with you. I could've said no to my mom―"
"Hindi 'yon, Jace," agad kong pagputol sa kanya. "I'm perfectly fine with that. It's your mom who needed you earlier."
"Then why?" he sounded slightly frustrated not knowing why I was acting indifferent.
"It's just that..." I sighed heavily before I continued. "You didn't tell me that Isha has feelings for you."
His forehead creased but he eventually relaxed when he finally understood.
"Zarina, it's not my feelings to tell, and I don't want to boast about it as well," he explained. "But if you want me to elaborate the details then, I will."
Napalunok naman ako at napatitig na lang sa kanya habang determinado siyang ipaliwanag sa akin.
"We were still in college when Isha first confessed to me about her feelings. I can't remember what year it was because I didn't pay attention to it that much. So when we graduated, she confessed for the second time," he told me. "She confessed again when I invited her to dinner to celebrate the success of our first project together. And when you came back, she asked me if you are the one that I was talking about―the girl I hated, and I confirmed it to her. The night when we were in Prive, she told me that she still feels the same and nothing has changed, but I told her that I don't feel the same way she does with me. I told her that it was you all along. That's why no matter how many times she confesses her feelings, it doesn't matter to me. Isha understands that it's you and she respects my feelings."
My heart ached for Isha. She had been rejected by Jace for so many times. I was complaining by the heartaches I've received from him when she experienced it countless of times.
Hindi ako makapaniwala. Mas ma-swerte pa pala ako.
I was so envy of her before for being so lucky when she was actually feeling the opposite.