The Trapeze Swinger

3.8

The ocean was a deep and rolling blue carpet across the surface of the world as the cyborg child piloted us high above it. It had been ten minutes since the final fading view of the pink island had disappeared from the horizon-line behind us, and I couldn't feel anything but loneliness as I tried to swallow back the thick and bitter sadness threatening to block my throat. All attempts at trying to elicit conversation from my companion had proved fruitless as I'd first tried to make small talk and then had dissolved into confessing the confusing array of emotions tugging for control of my mind.

"- and I guess it just comes down to the fact that I pretend to be brave but I'm not," I babbled at her, biting my nails to the quick as I stared out the cockpit window at the endless navy waves ahead, "Lou had all the bravery between us; without him I don't know if I even have the courage to live."

Without him I don't even know who I am. Without any of them I don't know who I am.

Cyborg Noodle continued piloting the aircraft without so much as a flicker of acknowledgement that I had spoken, and I sighed, feeling frustrated tears welling up hot in my eyes as I wished not for the first time that Murdoc had accompanied us on the flight. I could have put up with any amount of drawling insults and dry sarcasm if it had meant having someone to talk to. My mind was a chaos of hindsight and heartache, my inner voices of self loathing and self protection arguing nonstop until it felt as if the heat of their debate would drive me insane.

I bit my lip as I looked across at my sole companion, tracing the long barrel of the rifle strapped to her back before flicking my gaze over her utility vest and combat attire. She was functional and not much more; the bare bones of a means to an end.

"I suppose it makes sense that it had to be you that took me home," I mumbled into the wind, studying her youthful profile, "We're the same."

A sentry is just a soldier after all.

"We're both just following a set of instructions handed down by the men who made us."

Murdoc Niccals made the cyborg girl, but who made you, Sloane McLeod? Your brother? DeWitt? Stu?

I didn't know anymore, hugging my knees to my chest as I watched the other girl ignore me. Her black hair was flapping wildly in the draught, flicking across her vision sporadically until one of her small silicon hands lifted to irritably tuck it back under the communications headset she wore.
                  At the so oddly human gesture I jolted, sitting up a little straighter whilst I studied her intently. The small girl shifted in her seat, as if aware she was being watched, but made no other movements as she returned to her stock-still piloting.

Left to my thoughts once more, I tried to forget the cyborg beside me, waving away the ghost of a younger self that had stepped into the corner of my vision. The Sloane of the past was the one who'd known how to read people, who'd understood intention.
                  Until Stu. He'd blindsided me that first day, stepping into my path out of nowhere and leaving me unsure ever since. I'd tried so hard to read his intentions yet always ended up only further confused, still walking down the dark hallway with the rug constantly yanked out from under my feet. That night back in Eastbourne I thought he'd become my friend, only the next morning to discover him acting as nonchalant as ever. I'd thought he'd wanted me, yet he had made it clear he could never see me in that light. Now even after all this time I'd still been a fool today and imagined, just for a moment, that he loved me.

But darling, he did become your friend in the end. He did want you.

The quiet voice which spoke out within the bleakness of my mind made my stomach twist as if I had been run through with a knife, my hands flying to cover some imagined puncture wound as I shook my head viciously at the thought. 

Perhaps if you hadn't become so good at second-guessing yourself, you'd have been able to act quicker when you first smelt gas in the apartment when The Boogieman came for you. Perhaps you could have saved Lou in time.

Gritting my teeth at the condescending inner critique, my vision blurred, trembling with a film of salty tears that I tried to blink quickly away. Looking for some sort of distraction, I picked at the loose threading around a hand-sewn patch on Murdoc's jacket, thinking instead of my last moments with the grouchy green man, of his final gift for me. Sliding a single cautious finger into the pocket of my jeans, I traced the folded edge of the note I'd been given, wondering where Birdie was in the world.

Did she know? The moment Lou's heart stopped beating; did she feel it?

I turned my face away from the cyborg girl to quickly wipe away the tears that fell down my cheeks, heart shredding itself within my chest. Unsure as to why I felt embarrassed about crying in front of a robotic entity, and I stared out the open passenger side doorway, focusing my tear-blurry gaze on a set of two dots curving into view from afar. For a moment I thought they were a pair of seabirds before I realised they were growing much too large as they approached.

"I think this might be the first time I've seen anything in the sky other than clouds since coming to the island," I commented to Cyborg Noodle, feeling the need to break the silence despite her clear lack of interest in conversation. Flicking a crooked finger at what I could now see were two aeroplanes, I felt the beginnings of a frown spreading over my face as I continued, "Did Murdoc request supplies to be flown into the island or something?"

The twin jets had straightened from their curved path to be flying directly towards us, and I reached to point them out to the girl beside me exactly as she herself saw them through the windscreen. Her reaction was immediate; one hand white-knuckling on the controls and the other reaching for the rifle strapped to her back, ripping it from it's holster and leaning to aim it out the pilot-side doorway.

"Wait- !" I cried in sudden alarm, my arm flashing out to try and pull her back in vain as she fired, the gun kicking back in her tiny hands.

With my interference the bullet missed, the two planes continuing unscathed in their fast approach towards us as the Cyborg Noodle went to re-aim and then seemed to think better of it; holstering the rifle with lightning quick reflexes before grabbing the controls once more.
The world tilted dizzyingly as the helicopter suddenly banked right, a volley of shots firing from one of the planes narrowly missing us as they whizzed past in a staccato. I whipped my head to follow the sound in fright, only to see the ocean swirling below us as the cyborg girl continued the helicopter's turn, spinning us to face back from where we came as the fighter jets passed overhead.

"What the fuck was that?" I yelled out in panic to Cyborg Noodle, voice barely audible over the sound of the wind and helicopter blades.

The girl didn't answer, merely pressing a series of buttons rapidly as she flew us in pursuit of the two planes which were already receding into the distance. I watched in a confused helplessness as her slim silicon fingers punched a repeated series of clicks into the radio transmitter attached to the control panel, a morse code message I couldn't hope to translate.

"They didn't even stick around to attack us... like they were in a hurry to be somewhere else," I prompted the cyborg child, trying in vain to illicit any attempt at return communication from her. Her face was devoid of any indication that she'd even registered my words, and I scowled as I realised I would get no explanation from my ever-silent companion.

Figure it out yourself then, Sloane McLeod; stop playing dumb and expecting everyone else to spell things out for you.

I scowled even harder, picking at the loose thread blowing wildly in the wind once more whilst grudgingly comprising a mental map of everything I knew about the situation I was in. It started with an image of 2D, flashing up within the darkness of my mind like a neon light before I flinched and shoved him aside. Throat feeling thick, I inhaled deeply through my nose, closing my eyes as if to block out the memory of the way his black eyes had shone with unshed tears the last time I'd looked into them.

Focus. You used to be good at this.

In my mind's eye I sketched the island, annotating it with notes like the ones on Murdoc's badly drawn diagram of The Boogieman. The facts it seemed, were limited, shreds of information collected from my convoluted conversations with Murdoc and 2D. An island made of trash and built from dodgy deals, a private hideaway from The Black Clouds pirates who were owed millions by the green-skinned conman. A demon asking for it's payment of children's souls, now denied compensation twice for it's kidnapping of both 2D and I, leaving a black calling card for Murdoc warning him that it was coming to collect.

No it said something else... fuck, what did it say again? "We are coming for our payment."

My eyes opened wide as I realised what I had so blindly missed, sitting up in my seat with my lips parting in shock.

The Boogieman and The Black Clouds have joined forces; those were the pirates' war planes on the way to Plastic Beach.

Beside me Cyborg Noodle was listening intently to an answering transmission coming in through her headset, and I leaned my ear against hers to try and listen in. Murdoc's voice was coming garbled through the headphone speaker, the wind snatching away fragments of phrasing so that it was hard to tell exactly what he was instructing the cyborg to do.

"... drop the girl off................ then............................... I can keep it talking........ alright?"

No. It'll take too long to reach land; she'll never make it back in time.

Without thinking, I yanked the headset off the smaller girl's ears, dropping it onto the helicopter floor whilst her head whipped around owlishly to stare at me. The helicopter halted in it's forward trajectory, hovering above the indigo waves as the two of us faced each other off. With a gulp of dread I flicked my gaze between her lifeless brown eyes and the terrifying sight of her fingers curled tight around the barrel of the rifle strapped to her back, ready to pull it from it's holster.

"Noodle, we need to return to Plastic Beach immediately."

My voice was steady and firm despite the panic humming beneath the surface of my skin, eyes wide as I looked into hers imploringly, begging for her clockwork mind to understand. The girl blinked, frozen in place as her programming tried to compute with the conflicting order. Swallowing against the dryness of my mouth, I tried again, forcing my tone into one of authority.

"You were created to be Murdoc Niccal's butler and bodyguard, aye?"

The cyborg child nodded jerkily.

"Then you'll be failing to fulfil your purpose unless you return to protect him immediately," I said simply, feeling my jaw set as we stared each other down.

Is there even the ghost of a person in there? Does it even know the difference between life and death?

I felt my hope begin to falter, a sinking feeling settling in the pit of my stomach as Cyborg Noodle continued to blink, a whirring sound coming from beneath her skull. Then, finally, she moved. I almost cried with relief as the helicopter continued in it's high speed pursuit of the planes that had disappeared in the direction of the trash island, the girl's hands returning to the controls and leaving her rifle safely in it's holster across her back.

My heart beat hard against the wall of my chest the entire trip back, hoping beyond hope that we wouldn't arrive to a bloodbath as the luridly pink island slowly came into view, a large aircraft carrier ship visible about two hundred meters out from the landmass. The cyborg girl gave it a wide berth as we piloted past it, the vessel devoid of any signs of life onboard despite the set of four all-too familiar planes that were sitting stationary atop the steel decking. Large lengths of tubing were connected to two of them, thick and black like oversized serpents across the desolate surface of the ship.

So that's what they were too rushed to attack us properly for; they had to make it back to their base to refuel.

We passed safely by without any visible response from the large metal ship, the imposing craft sitting menacingly still upon the choppy waves. The pink island in contrast looked like a sitting duck as we neared it, my hands curling and uncurling in nervous fists as the scent of the rotting garbage began to cloud the air more thickly with every passing second.

The beach in sight, I squinted at the group of tiny figures that were gathered by the wharf, coming slowly into detail as the helicopter drew closer. Luggage sat piled on the wooden jetty waiting to be loaded into the supply boat, yet no one was moving as they shuffled and looked over in agitation at the large ship floating silently offshore. Their faces turned upwards towards us as Cyborg Noodle piloted the helicopter in a beeline for the helipad atop the Plastic Beach complex, and it was with a jolt that I recognised them as the few remaining collaborators that had been staying at the island. I craned my neck to see if there was a blue-haired head among any of the upturned faces but saw no flash of the familiar azure hue before the helicopter moved over them and onward to the waiting rooftop.

Murdoc must have been evacuating the island; just a little too late it seems.

Whatever other worried thoughts I might have had for the people left stranded on the pink beach were immediately forgotten as I caught sight of the two figures standing at opposite ends of the roof. One was hunched and defensive with his hands in his pockets, green skin a bright pea-like colour in the warm afternoon light. The other was a shadowed pillar of fumes, coalescing even as I watched into something I remembered from each and every one of my nightmares.
                       Red glass lenses set into the black of it's mask; the left glowing eye socket whole and unbroken no more. With gloved hands showing no signs of the punctures it's claws had made in the tips of each finger, I watched with my mouth devoid of moisture as it spread out it's long arms, it's rubbery cloak seeming to swallow up the light as it fanned out in the wind.

The Boogieman.

I jolted as the helicopter shuddered and landed in a hard bump against the rooftop, the robot child not bothering to power down the aircraft as she unclipped her seatbelt and leapt from the open side door with her rifle already held between both her dainty hands. In a dazed moment I watched her step to Murdoc's side, the green-skinned man grinning widely at her arrival before turning to fix the demonic creature with a triumphant sneer.

Across the ten meter span between them, the demon lifted it's hand, pointing accusingly with one gloved finger. I felt it as if it pierced the air between us, running a straight line to the heart jumping rabbit-like within my chest.

Put on your Brave Face.

Snapping to attention, the hurried heartbeat turned to war drums as I unclipped my seatbelt and stood, kicking the dropped headset out of my way as I stepped over to the side door. The headphones bounced and landed on the metal rooftop with a clatter, causing Murdoc to whip his head around in confusion at the sound.
                     The self-satisfied smirk he had been taunting The Boogieman with at Cyborg Noodle's arrival faded into open-mouthed shock as I stepped down off the aircraft behind them, but I barely so much as spared him a glance before I returned my attention to the black-cloaked creature. Eyes narrowed into slits and vision clouding over with scarlet, I felt my lips peel back in a wordless snarl.

You laughed whilst Lou lay dying, you stole me away from his corpse.

My hatred for the creature had no parallel, my hands in fists as I stepped towards it with no thought for self-preservation, no hopes for survival.

"Sloane! What in Satan's name are you doing here?" Murdoc was yelling over the wind in exasperation, gesturing angrily to his cyborg as he demanded, "Why did you come back with her?? It's not safe-"

Whatever he was going to say was abruptly cut off as I brushed past him, lunging for The Boogieman with the world blurring red and bloodthirsty. The demon seethed and reared up, talons flashing as they unsheathed though the rubbery material of it's gloves.
                   It's first swipe missed me, claws raking through the air mere inches from my head as I ducked in a moment of pure instinct. An avenging angel, I flung my entire body at the hulking black figure formed of smog, teeth bared and crooked fingers curled into hooks.

I'm gonna shred your skin and see how you like it, cunt.

We collided, my hands delving deep into the billowing folds of it's cloak until they dug into the hard and unyielding form beneath. A cloud of vapour puffed out from the impact, making my head spin as I gagged at the all-too familiar rotten smell of the creature's fume. Flinching from the scent, an onslaught of terrible memories flooded all sense of self as I was suddenly confronted with the visceral image of my blood splattering the floor of the Crawley apartment, of Lou lying blue and breathless on the festering mattress.

No please No NO -

With a wordless gasp I recoiled, grip loosening even as The Boogieman wheezed in what sounded like some kind of sadistic laugh, it's hands lifting to close tightly around my neck.

BANG.

The sound of the gunshot ripped through the panic of my mind, snapping everything back into focus as I felt the creature flinch. It had barely had time to turn it's gas mask snout towards the large bullet hole punched through it's rubbery cape before there was the sound of Cyborg Noodle loading the next shot.

BANG.

I shrieked breathlessly as the second bullet whizzed loudly past my head, hitting The Boogieman's elbow with the sound of bone shattering. One of the two hands pressed hard around my throat fell away, the creature rearing back with a loud hiss as ichor sprayed brown and putrid from it's wounded arm. I ragdolled with the movement, scratching uselessly at the gloved fingers holding me airborne whilst trying not to vomit at the sight of the mangled limb hanging half hewn from it's body. Gas swirled out from the rent made in the fabric of it's sleeve, opaquely green as it condensed into a mist around the two of us.

Murdoc was shouting something about learning to bloody aim at the cyborg girl, his words barely audible over the helicopter blades chopping through the air above us, then another shot rang out across the rooftop.

BANG.

Viscous umber-coloured fluid burst into the air, splattering across my face and down the front of my jacket as the third bullet tore straight through The Boogieman's other arm and sickeningly split the limb in two. I slammed back to the ground, legs collapsing out from beneath me as the creature made a sound like a high-pitched hiss of air escaping, the closest thing to a scream I could imagine it was capable of creating. Smog engulfed it's body, it's physical form wavering back into reeking gas whilst the screaming sound continued to painfully fill the air. It's disembodied hand jerked and spasmed with dying nerve reflexes around my neck, and I retched involuntarily as I ripped the thing from me.

"Ohhh dear, are you alright there Sloane?" Murdoc drawled calmly as I covered my mouth in an effort to keep the bile rising up my throat at bay, "I'd lend you a hand, but it seems our demon friend already has, hughuheuhuh."

I could hear him him trying to stifle his guffawing laugh as I turned to shoot him a mutinous look, however any response I was going to make was silenced when a shadow fell over me. Cold trepidation rippled down my spine in an icy wave as I watched Murdoc's self-satisfied smirk fade into shocked horror, his hand flashing out to prod urgently at the cyborg girl whilst she robotically reloaded her rifle. I didn't even have time to turn my head before I felt rubbery gloved fingers curl around the back of my collar, yanking me viciously off my feet once more. As I dangled in the creatures grip, I blindly hit out at the somehow suddenly intact arms, my stomach sinking sickeningly as I realised it's limbs had regenerated completely.

Of course... That's why Murdoc hadn't known about it's cut eye before I told him; he hadn't seen it. The fucking thing heals itself.

"Hey Murdoc?" I called, trying to keep my voice light and even despite The Boogieman's rancid breath puffing moist against the back of my neck, "Can you perhaps pay the demon now??"

At my elevated tone the green-skinned man cringed, my words leaving only tense silence save for the blades of the helicopter slicing through the air above us. A stalemate heartbeat passed, then the cyborg lifted her rifle to level it at The Boogieman and fired.

BANG.

Too slow, too slow. The creature sidestepped, my body swinging helplessly in it's grip before it responded in kind. My mouth became a desert parched of all moisture as I struggled, feeling it retract it's arm and knowing what came next.

NO NO NO NO NO NO -

With inhuman strength it swung forward, flinging me bodily out and over to the edge of the roof. For a moment the world seemed to pause as I felt myself be released from it's grip, eyes widening whilst the open sky reached out to take me. The distant sound of Murdoc yelling my name, then gravity taking hold of my ragdoll form and pulling me down against edge the rooftop in a dizzy aching thud. Skull smashing against the unyielding ground hard enough to see stars whilst the momentum made my body roll, carrying me in a bundle of flailing limbs and a sharp cry of terror as I sailed over the precipice, hands scrabbling to grab the edge only to catch at empty air.
                   Grey eyes flinching closed, not wanting to see the plastic beach rise up to meet me. Mouth gaping open in a soundless scream.

Then a silicon hand clamped around my slim wrist, jerking me from my descent. The joint in my elbow cracked as my entire bodyweight wrenched to a stop, and I gasped in a mixture of pain and disbelief as I found myself looking into the expressionless face of the cyborg. The wind was blowing her fringe from her eyes, and I could see my own pale and shocked face reflected in the brown of her iris.

"... d-did I ever tell you that you're my favourite cyborg I've ever met?" I stuttered, grinning dazedly up at her impassive face whilst she merely blinked in response.

The cyborg child began to help pull me up, the soles of my bare feet grazing painfully as I tried to find purchase on the rough side of the building. My heart was beating too fast, racing like the pulse of a rabbit, yet a warm and bubbling hysteria began to spread golden through my limbs as I managed to grip onto the edge of the building with my free hand.

Behind the legs of Cyborg Noodle, I saw no trace of The Boogieman save for a stray wisp of green smog that trailed off the other side of the roof, already dissipating in the ocean breeze. Murdoc stood with his back to us, shading his eyes from the sun with one green had as he looked out towards a set of four dots approaching fast along the horizon. For a moment I paused, squinting at them even as the cyborg tugged insistently on my wrist, before I felt my eyes widen as I realised exactly what they were.

The Dark Clouds' war planes.

"Murdoc!" I yelled out in sudden panic, renewing my struggle to pull myself up as I cried out my warning much too late, "They're -"

BRATATATATATATATATATATAT

A line of quick-fire shots from one of the planes threw sparks as they struck down against the metal roof of the plastic beach complex, missing Murdoc by a meter as he leapt out of the way. I almost let go of the rooftop as two of the bullets whizzed over my head, ducking needlessly on instinct.

The droning of their engines began to fill the air as they flew closer, moving at a speed too fast to allow us time to recover before all three jets opened fire as they passed overhead, ripping up the rooftop with another violent spray. Murdoc dived down the stairs to the safety of the room below whilst I could only flinch again in the hope that they wouldn't hit me, craning my neck to catch sight of them as they flashed through the sky above.

Taking my chance, I had begun to heave myself up and onto the roof once more when something black dripped onto my hand, stark against the pale skin. I stared confusedly at it shining iridescent in the sunlight for a dull moment before I looked up at the cyborg girl who had stilled in her efforts to help me back up onto the roof.
                   Her usually expressionless face was spasming, a viscous oil-like substance dribbling down her delicate chin and dripping onto me as I traced the liquid to it's source; a large bullet hole punched straight through the left side of her forehead. Another bullet had skimmed the inner edge of her exposed thigh, and sheeny metal and wires could be seen sparking within the hole left behind.

"Noodle?" I whispered, watching in horror as her entire body began to shake.

The damage to her internal circuits had left her seemingly unable to operate as she began emitting a fizzing sound, black blood gushing from the wound as she fell forward, her brown eyes meeting mine as her hand fell from my wrist and she tumbled over me into the abyss beyond.

"NOODLE!"

I tried to grab for her as she fell past me but only managed to snatch at empty air, watching on helplessly as she plummeted, showering sparks like the glowing trail of a comet. I cringed and closed my eyes to not see her collide with the beach below, arms aching as I clung to the side of the building and tried not to think about whether or not I heard the thud.

You don't have time to get sentimental; get your ass back up onto that rooftop or follow the poor robot girl and die facedown in pink-painted trash. It's your choice, Sloane McLeod.

Overhead the planes were circling back around for another volley of shots whilst I strained with every measly muscle in my body to hoist my chest up and over the edge of the roof, almost crying with relief when I laid my bloodstained bust against the sun-warmed metal. I slithered the rest of the way atop before standing shakily, sparing only a single glance for the fast-approaching planes before sprinting for the stairwell that would lead me to safety.

BRATATATATATATATAT -

They opened fire just as I dove for the opening, falling headfirst down into the shallow room below and scrambling to get away from their view as I heard the bullets raining down on the roof above. I was relieved to see Murdoc standing unscathed and waiting for the elevator, pressing and repressing the "down" button with a blatant kind of panic I hadn't seen him portray before. His hazel eyes were blown wide and flicking between the ceiling and the closed elevator doors, then finally settling on my face when he saw me crouching by the coat rack, a look of serenity passing over his features.

"Sloane! So good of you to join me," He drawled, before wiping his nose on his sleeve surreptitiously and adding in a careless grunt, "Where's the cyborg?"

I clenched my jaw at his bravado, trying to be gentle with my words as I murmured, "They gunned her down... I tried to grab her in time but she fell over the edge. I'm sorry, Murdoc."

The green-skinned man looked away with a soft "oh" sound, turning his back to me as he faced the elevator panel once more. His slightly crooked pointer finger continued to stab at the "down" button, his shoulders hunching as I watched him from the other side of the room, waiting for an answer he seemingly couldn't find the words for.

"Murdoc?"

Slowly, I approached him, hand held out as if I were going to touch the defensive curve of his shoulder, but I never got the chance as the lift finally rumbled up to our level. The doors opened with a soft chime, the man stepping inside and away from any consolatory gesture I could have made. I swallowed and followed after him, panic rippling through me as I heard one of the planes swoop low overhead. Murdoc jabbed the button for the Ground Floor as the roar of it's engine echoed through the shallow room, the doors beginning to close just as the roof of the room we had been standing in just moments ago imploded in a swirl of fire and molten metal.

Quicker than I could think, a green hand knocked me back from the wave of heat, a high pitched gasp moving from my lips as I hit the shaking elevator wall. We only saw a glimpse of the explosion before the doors snapped completely shut, the lift descending whilst another projectile from the planes landed above, sending a shockwave that chased us down the shaft. The lift box shuddered and jerked, knocking me off my feet to land painfully on the quaking floor.

They're bombing the building. They're actually bombing the fucking building.

"For the love of sweet Satan, they're going to bring the entire island down if they keep that up," Murdoc spat angrily, still not looking at me as he braced himself against the wall.

I glared up at him from my position on the floor, hands and knees absorbing the vibrations through the metal as we rumbled downwards towards the safety of the earth. Something about his lack of comment on the cyborg Noodle's death made my skin prickle, fingers curling to fists as I watched him pick dirt out from under his nails without a shred of guilt for what he'd caused.

"Why couldn't you have just fucking paid the demon and his trigger-happy pirate friends?" I growled, only earning myself a savage scowl. It was the first time he'd made eye-contact with me since the news of Noodle, and his hazel gaze glowed with wrathful malice.

"Newsflash, love: I'm not giving my soul to a failed fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse," He sneered, narrowing his eyes to slits as he glowered down at me, "Nor am I giving a single cent to those dimwit terrorists, and no one in the world will convince me otherwise. Especially not a snivelling little bald girl whose only hobby seems to be putting herself needlessly in harms way and running away from her problems."

I felt my lips part slightly in genuine hurt, shock rippling through my body as I looked up into his cruelly twisted green features. Silence echoed out from his words, no answer managing to crawl it's way to my open mouth until the elevator finally sunk to a shuddering stop, it's chime like the bell at the end of a boxing match.

"You were the one who put every person on this island needlessly in harms way, Murdoc," I murmured, pushing myself to my feet as the doors creaked slowly open. I looked at him, still hunched defensively despite all his disinterested nail checking and derisive jeering, and felt nothing but that strange disappointment he always seemed to make me feel as I finished quietly, "And you're wrong by the way."

His eyes were alight as they met mine once more, and I understood for the first time exactly why 2D thought he was a monster as he bared his crooked teeth in a glittering smirk.

"Wrong about what exactly?"

Without letting my gaze slip from his I stepped through the elevator doors and into the foyer waiting beyond, trash still piled high on all sides of the reeking room. Beyond was a bright afternoon, hazy with the droning of the plane engines and studded with the sound of gunfire and screams. I couldn't bring myself to look at the carnage that lay outside, instead staring openly at the infinitely lonely lines of Murdoc's face, at the mocking curl of his lips.

About everyone. About me.

I couldn't say it, looking past all his bravado to the pain and fear written suddenly so clearly in those narrowed eyes. The masks were still on, each one thick and ugly, but in that moment I saw past them to exactly what it was I had missed all along. Memories flickered back to life, scratched footage playing across a projection screen in the slowly brightening dark; Murdoc kneeling at my feet, fingers gentle around my wrists as he pulled my hands from my face and told me he couldn't watch me cry, as he pressed them to my ribs and stitched puckered skin back together. Helping me to stand, hand stroking across my knuckles, hazel eyes flicking down to my lips. Him downing a bottle of wine as I told him I loved 2D, his eyes abnormally cruel as he stared into mine and told me my feelings were wrong. The two of us standing frozen a few days ago in this very room, his hand raised to slap me in retribution for head-butting him yet unable to follow through with the punishment; his fist flying through the air only to stop dead in it's tracks the moment I stepped between him and the blue-haired man.
                   The way his heart had hammered against my shoulder when he'd pulled me back to him in the elevator, urgently beginning to tell me something just before I'd cut him off, just before I'd told 2D I loved him.

I wonder what he might have said, if I had taken the time to let him speak.

I sighed ruefully, unzipping his bloodstained jacket and slipping it from my small frame to hold out to him just as a bomb landed nearby, shaking the building as it detonated. We both flinched, looking around wildly in case the roof was above to cave in, but as the tremor passed everything remained intact.
                     With my heart twisting guiltily in my chest I gently flapped the jacket in a renewed attempt of returning it to him. My mouth tasted bitter and dry as he reached to take it, mismatched eyes flashing with a brief look of hurt that left me feeling rotten to the core. Turning away, I strode towards the pink battlefield beyond the dimly lit lobby, hands hanging empty and limp at my sides as I paused in the doorway. A volley of gunshots sounded distantly, the noise of shattering glass ringing out across the island as the warplanes laid waste to every window in the building above us.

Murdoc shifted behind me, making a small coughing sound like he was trying to clear his throat without me knowing. I found I couldn't turn to face him just yet, paralysed as I stared down at my pale hands and tried to swallow the realisation of all the damage I had done with them. 

How's it all gonna end? With me standing in the wreckage of everyone's lives, still asking why I'm alone?

Folded in my pocket was a piece of paper with the name and number of a girl I'd never see again.

Somewhere on the island was a man with eyes blacker than the night sky, his memories of my skin pressed to his already fading from the world as he moved on without me.

In an apartment in Crawley, my brother's corpse turned blue and bloated as he disintegrated into the mattress.

A drug lord waited for my return to England, gun loaded and safety off.

Everything has already ended, darling; might as well leave how you entered.

"I'm sorry about the cyborg Noodle. I'm sorry that it was while she was trying to save me," I said towards the ocean, before glancing back over my shoulder at the green-skinned man standing slumped in the elevator, flashing him my best version of a charming Lou McLeod grin as I added, "But I'm going to find her for you, Murdoc Niccals, and when you get out of here you're gonna repair her. Maybe give her a voice-box this time; everyone deserves the chance to speak their truth."

He looked confused for a moment, before his hazel eyes widened and he stepped forward as if to stop me, mouth opening with a nasally drawling protest.

"Don't you dare go out there - I'm not interested in living the rest of my life with your death on my conscience."

In my mind I could see him as he had been when we'd said goodbye; rolling his eyes up at the blue sky above and sighing exhaustedly, you're not exactly forgettable. I hoped he was wrong, looking over my shoulder and smiling remorsefully at the fact he'd ever managed to convince himself that I mattered. When I replied it was light, almost a laugh as I told him the only advice Nowhere Girls can give.

 "Don't make the mistake of keeping me as a ghost."

Then I was turning from him and running into the bright afternoon light, the pink painted trash of the plastic beach shimmering underfoot and my chest alight with the strange feeling of coming home. The way I had entered was the way I had lived: racing out towards the world too fast to catch. The sound of the planes above was like the buzzing of loud wasps as I skidded through the oily flotsam and jetsam, a volley of bullets spraying through the air towards me as I darted into view of the island's assailants.

I am the girl who ran beside Lou McLeod through run-down nowhere suburbia, hometown glory painted in blue and red lights, in sirens and shouting policemen.

Zigzagging, shrapnel flicked up all around my blurring form as I sprinted around the headland, knowing there was a broken body waiting for me to find amongst the refuse.

I am the one who fled through a seaside town to meet a blue-haired boy at a bus stop and ruin his date.

The plane passed overhead, staccato of bullets ceasing momentarily as I left it's sights. My legs were burning, bare feet blackened by the the bubbles of oil that had been sitting stagnant beneath the paint until my footfalls had burst them open like tar-filled pustules.

And it was me who chased him through the carnival with the neon lights blurring, calling out the boy's name with what breath was still left in the ashes of my lungs.

The world became streamlined as I sprinted down the shore, an explosion in the building high above me causing the earth to quake and tremble in response. As I ran, a tiny body came into view, caught between a large plank of pink painted driftwood and a beached buoy.
                   She was on her back, empty eyes staring up into the sky through the iridescent motor oil that had bled down her face from the bullet hole. One of her arms was bent underneath her at an odd angle, the other caught up and over the round edge of the buoy. She was a broken thing as I approached her, slowing down to a panting stumble through the debris until I was crouching down beside the corpse.

The sentry and the soldier, both deemed the wrong girl at the wrong time by the men in our lives. I felt bitter as I reached out to pull her off the large pieces of detritus, settling her down on the slope of the beach so that her arms were by her sides.

We returned for them, the both of us. For Murdoc Niccals and Stuart Pot.

As I looked down at the Death Mask of her black-streaked face, I was suddenly unsure if either of them deserved it.

In the distance there was another round of gunfire, and I felt a pang of worry for the innocent album collaborators that were still trapped on the beach. I hadn't seen them when I'd run out, which most likely meant either they were hiding somewhere or were already dead. I hoped for the first option as I strained to try and heave Cyborg Noodle onto my back, her body limp and cumbersome. She was much heavier than I'd thought, the mechanics within still audibly fizzing as I staggered under her deadweight. My thin arms trembled as I reached behind me to help hold her up, stomach churning with the sickening realisation that I was piggybacking a child's corpse.

She's a tank-girl. She was made for this.

I sunk ankle-deep into the landfill with every step as I trudged across the pink filth, struggling against the guilt that dragged me down along with the girl's bodyweight. A girl made by Murdoc to be a weaponised bodyguard; a ghost's shell remodelled for a single function. A girl made to die on a plastic beach, with a bullet through her skull and all her wires spitting sparks. Despite the rational line of thought my mind tried to lead me down, something didn't sit right within the cage of my chest as I considered once more what I had wondered on the helicopter.

Who was it who made you though, Sloane McLeod?  The failed sentry, the running nowhere girl. What end were you destined to meet?

The planes were curving back around overhead, and I scrambled with my cumbersome load up to the top of the beach. Trying to flatten myself as close as possible to the outcrop that the Plastic Beach complex was built upon, I continued moving as swiftly as the weight of the cyborg allowed.

All these people you say you don't know who you are without, yet which one gets to claim you? Who do you owe your life to?

My brother? I felt the now almost-familiar pang of grief in my chest as I thought of him and all the parts of his life he'd given me. Lou had raised me, had taught me how to run and climb, how to fight and laugh. He had been the light of a way-finding star, leading me through the dark so that I would never have to bear the pain of losing my way. He was the Brave Face I saw etched across the backs of my closed eyelids whenever I wanted to give in, to give up. I missed him more than I could ever hope to say, and there were large parts of us we had shared like hand-me-downs that now felt hollow in his absence, yet he had not made me. 

My lover? My best friend. A boy stepping out of the shadows, lying next to me on the carousel roof. Stu had shown me how to accept loving care, how to seek another's touch and not have it burn my skin; to not be caught up in panic at my own vulnerability. He'd come into my life and reached past every defence I'd ever erected out of fear to offer me his hand. He was the boy with the sunshine smile, the man who had opened his arms wide to hold me despite the cruelty of my words and the violence of my actions. I was sure when I died one could carve open my chest and find his name written on my heart, yet he had not made me.

My guardian? The girl who had told the love of her life that she wouldn't stay to watch him destroy himself, then had the strength to walk away when he did. Birdie had helped me to understand the balancing act between being gentle and being firm; how to love people with everything I had and when to step back and realise that love just wasn't enough. She was the guardian angel that spoke softly to me still, a ghost that had transcended the ache of absence, yet she had not made me.

My fickle friend? I tried to ignore the guilt that spread across my tongue as I thought of the green-skinned man. Murdoc had been a lesson in just how many facets there can be to one person, had made me remember how to look past how things were at face-value. That someone could be bad and good at the same time; that someone could be hatefully bitter and still fall in love. He had stitched me back together when I'd needed it most, and he'd torn me apart with his own jealous agenda, yet he had not made me.

The addict, the coward, the angel and the thief. I owed pieces of myself to all of them yet none of them could claim me as their own, none could stand back from my trembling form and call themselves creator. I had been the girl asleep and girl afire; a phoenix ascending over and over again each time I was burned to the ground. Broke a man's nose and later spat out his blood, a glorious mess of teeth and trauma. Ran faster than the speed of a lightning strike and beat the thunder to the finish line. Watched an angel disappear into the darkness and let the night swallow me whole. Don't you see? I was the one who met the devil twice and both times called it a cunt.

It was me. I made myself.

The words settled like liquid gold against my bruised and battered skin, smoothing over the sweat and grit until I felt reborn with the realisation that despite the fact they'd all in some way saved my life, I could live without them. I was not predestined to stand by whilst everyone left me, to keep watch over their ghosts; what happened next was subject to my choices too.

You don't have to concede defeat.

Panting for air under the weight of the cyborg girl, I quickened my pace to hurry around the curve of the headland, knowing there was someone I had to find.
                   He would be standing by the pier with fidgeting hands, his mouth slightly open in surprise before spreading into a wide grin as his dark eyes met mine. Thin lanky arms reaching out to pull me against his chest and then the two of us fitted back together; two broken fragments that somehow aligned.

You left with heartache to try and avoid potential pain. Surely after all you've lived through, Sloane McLeod, you can be braver than that.

Emboldened, I hitched Cyborg Noodle up higher on my back, stepping through the pink-painted trash as the wharf finally came into view. The suitcases still sat in a pile at the steps of it, yet the last of the collaborators were still nowhere to be seen as the planes continued their slow loops of the island. Offshore, the pirate's large steel ship had come closer, crew members hurrying to and fro along the deck in a flurry of movement save for one lone figure.
                  I squinted at the dark silhouette, narrowing my eyes as I felt it watching me in return, as if insects were crawling across my skin.

Cunt.

I watched it gesture to one of the pirates, the man quick to follow the direction of it's finger as The Boogieman pointed towards me and then to something behind them that I couldn't make out. Frowning, I blinked sweat out of my eyes, spine in agony as I picked my way down towards the jetty at the shoreline. 
                  My plan was simple: lay Cyborg Noodle's body safely behind the pile of bags, find 2D and the others, then get the fuck away from Plastic Beach.

The black water beyond the edge of the shore was churning as I approached it, the inky depths foaming in the space between the island and the pirate ship like a pot of stew rolling to a boil. I tried not to let it distract me as I turned my attention back to The Boogieman and his pirates, only to feel my mouth go dry in panic as I saw what the crew member had gone to retrieve.

A long tube-like device, one end blunt whilst the other ended in a tapered point. They carried it aloft on their burly shoulder, coming to stand beside the unnaturally tall black figure whose gloved hand pointed towards me. I watched with my pulse turning to strobe as the tube was aimed towards me, eyes blowing wide as I recognised it as an RPG.

"Are you FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW??"

As if my violent outburst had been a secret cue, the pirate fired.

Time moved like molasses as I dove sideways, body on autopilot as panicked instincts kicked in. The weight of the cyborg girl slammed me down hard against the wet rubbish, our bodies barely connecting with the ground before the projectile exploded on the embankment somewhere behind us, the shockwave of heat throwing us apart in a tumble of molten trash and flame. I opened my mouth to scream but never got the chance as water flooded through the opening and down my throat, limbs thrashing as I sunk into the icy black water. Kicking rapidly to try and propel myself towards air, I stared through the murk of the water in terror at the realisation that I couldn't see the surface. All around were bubbles and chunks of melted flotsam and jetsam, obscuring any clear view of where I was in the deep abyss I had been thrown into.

Choking on seawater, salt stinging my eyes and nose, I swam blindly towards what I hoped was upwards as my lungs felt ready to burst within the cage of my shuddering ribs. My heartbeat was in my vision, a red and pounding membrane across the brightness I was swimming into until I burst through the skin of the ocean and gasped at the air above, dragging it painfully down my throat. Looking wildly around, I sat back and breathed raggedly for a few moments more before I became aware that I was up and out of the water, reclining on some sort of large brown padded raft.

What the-

The raft clenched, continuing to rise from the water in a shower of sea-spray as something breached the bubbling surface directly in front of me. A large dome the same sienna colouring as the curling platform which held me, emerging from the waves until I could see two brows creased in a scowl, then a pair of glowing white eyes. I blanched, staring with horror into the impossibly huge face as a giant man surfaced until the tops of his broad and muscled shoulders broke the surface of the water.

My mind went completely blank as I failed to comprehend what I was looking at, frozen stock still as I traced the length of his arm up to the raft I sat atop to realise I was sitting on the man's large palm. His broad face had relaxed it's scowl, but he was none the less fearsome as he stared me down with his giant eyes, the swell of his lips set in a hard line. I could see every pore in his skin, the thick hairs of his stubble the length and thickness of my fingers.

Surely I died in the water and this is some kind of hell.

The giant was disinterested in my eternal damnation however, as he extended out the hand he held me in over towards the pink shore and tipped it sideways. I let out a strangled yelp of surprise as I slid down the lined surface of his palm, landing with a thud on my hands and knees in the trash.

All gunfire had ceased at the giant's eruption from the water, but as I looked up in a daze towards the man's face towering forty feet above me, the droning of the warplanes engines rose to a crescendo as they descended upon the King Kong sized new opponent.

BRATATATATATATATATTATAT-

The volley of bullets from each plane landed in an ineffectual spray against him, tiny blood blisters opening up across his dark skin yet otherwise seemingly making no impact as he swatted at them with a scowl. I watched on helplessly as they looped around him like wasps, staying out of reach of his large hands as he tried to pull them from the air. I wasn't sure if the giant was fighting for us or against us as I rose achingly to stand, but I felt I owed him one after he'd lifted me from the water. 

If they keep this up they'll eventually take him down, and then they'll continue blasting the island to pieces.

Casting around for some kind of weapon, my mouth fell open in shock as I saw the molten mess of the beach behind me; a wasted crater still burning from the blast, the oil spills that helped hold the island together being greedily consumed by flame. As I watched, a figure emerged from the walls of heat, stepping with the lithe grace of a predator over the upturned crates and broken plastic.

Cyborg Noodle.

Black viscous tears streamed from her beneath her eyelids as she blinked rapidly, gaze empty and sparks fizzing from the hole in her forehead. As she made her way towards me, she raised the rifle in her hands in a single fluid motion and aimed with her deadly precision.

BANG.

My eyes flinched shut as I waited for the bullet to hit, only to hear it whizz past me instead and make impact in it's intended target. The giant bellowed in pain, and I whirled to see him picking the fat rifle slug from the space between his furrowed brows, squeezing it like a pimple. Behind me, the cyborg Noodle readied another shot.

"Wait! NO!" I cried out, rushing towards her with my hands held out in protest, but the robot child was already cocking her rifle once more.

BANG.

She fired again, the giant responding in a roar that shook the air around us as he slammed his fists down hard against the edge of the island, leaning over with his mouth gaping open to reveal a slim figure stepping out from the cavern of his maw.
                    Still in shock from the giant's sudden appearance, I found myself almost eye-rolling at the newcomer.

Jesus wept, these radge cunts just love to make an entrance, don't they?

She wore a white nurse's dress with red trims on each pocket, as well as striped stockings that gave her a doll-like appearance. Ragged black hair stuck out in thick matted tufts from the back of her head, yet of her face I could see nothing due to the strange cat mask which obscured it entirely. I watched incredulously as she sprang from the giant man's mouth to land in a crouch on the shore, before standing and addressing the cyborg girl who was standing frozen in shock beside me.

"Imposter."

Her voice was young yet firm, the one word uttered in such cold dismissal that I couldn't help but cringe from the stranger. Still reeling from the fact that the young woman had been travelling inside the giant's mouth, I was dazed as I reached out a protective hand to the cyborg child, feeling her cold silicon skin humming with internal motors beneath my palm. The masked face moved to follow the movement, before the girl moved into a fighting stance.

"Look lady, both the cyborg and I are having a really shite day," I drawled, looking between the masked girl, her giant friend and the planes still whirring around taking pot shots at his head, "So if you could possibly just settle the fuck down -"

"Quiet!" She snapped, holding up her hand towards me irritably, "I'm not speaking to you."

She was so commanding that I clamped my mouth shut immediately upon her order, swallowing nervously as I watched her delicate hands reach up to the mask and push it up so that we could see her face.

The first thing I saw was her pointed chin, followed by a wide mouth and petite nose. Her monolid eyes were a dark brown, the left one marred with scarring around the socket and down her cheekbone. A face I knew, but older, the depths of her gaze filled with a wisdom beyond any I had ever seen before. I stared into the anger of them, suddenly understanding exactly who she was even before she spoke.

"I have come to destroy this abomination and reclaim my rightful place within Gorillaz."

Noodle...

Beside me the Cyborg doppelgänger jerked into motion once more, whirring and clicking as her damaged circuits computed the information she was being faced with. As Noodle stepped forward, her younger self dropped the rifle from her hands and did the same, the two of them facing off down the length of the pink shore; the scarred warrior girl and her twin soldier, gunfire overhead in bright bursts of light. Looking between them frantically, I clenched and unclenched my jaw, caught between wanting to protect the damaged robot child and knowing I could never hurt 2D's little sister in an attempt to stop her.

Stu... He needs to know she's alive.

My heart jolted hard in my chest, a wave of elation coming over me as I realised how incredible this strange girl's arrival on Plastic Beach truly was.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat, letting my protests curdle across the dry expanse of my tongue as I turned away from them. It wasn't my fight; and besides, I had a heartbroken boy waiting somewhere for me to tell him the words every grieving soul yearns to hear: that she came back. Just this once, the ghost came back.

I couldn't help the twinge beneath my sternum as I thought of Lou, of how much I wished he too could have returned to the world of the living. A sarcastic skinhead stepping from the mouth of the giant, trying not to smirk as he delivered some sort of one-liner.

"You heard it here first people," He'd be announcing, "Straight from the huge man's mouth."

I tried not to ache at the thought, a smile finding it's way to my lips as I quickened my pace to find 2D.

I'm glad it was Stu. Out of all of us, I'm glad it got to be him.

Looking over to my right, I was relieved to see that the collaborators were very much alive and had taken advantage of the planes' current distraction to reconvene their huddle on the wharf. I set off towards the group, squinting as I tried to make out a blue-haired figure among them yet unable to see him even as I skidded to a halt at the steps of the dock. It was a scrambling chaos I had walked into, the petrified collaborators jostling with each other to grab their individual bags and pack them onto the supply boat.
                  Only one figure among them was still, hissing out for them to hurry as he stood not helping in the centre of the panic. His arms were crossed, green fingers flexing with stress as he watched them all irritably, as if orchestrating their escape from the island was taking a little more effort than he had realised.

"Murdoc!" I yelled out to him, grabbing the focus of his hazel gaze and watching as he sighed in obvious relief.

"Well if it isn't the little pest herself," He drawled, sauntering down the jetty to stand on the top stair, "You're just in time for the last ride out of here."

I ignored his petty nickname for me, too excited to let it taint my mood as I pointed towards the two girls slowly circling each other down the beach. Murdoc followed my finger before nodding briskly, face remaining unmoved.

"Yes, exactly why we are making a swwwwift exit from the island," He droned, gesturing lazily towards the seaplane and boat behind him.

"What are you talking about? It's Noodle! She's alive," I exclaimed, my excitement for him ebbing as I watched him shake his head dismissively.

"I already knew she was bloody well alive, I just didn't know she'd hear about my cyborg this early," Murdoc sneered, rolling his eyes as he continued, "The little backstabber asked to leave the band years ago, but of course she'd come crawling back once she heard she'd been replaced. It's just a little too soon for this part of the plan."

The warmth leeched from my cheeks as I stared at him, uncomprehending. Murdoc's hazel eyes flicked over my face, his mouth twisting into a contemptuous smirk as I failed to choke out a response.

"I suppose that dimwit 2-dents told you about El Manana? It was a hoax, an easy way for her to leave Gorillaz and get us some publicity at the same time."

My voice was frail when I managed to respond, small in all the sounds of the gunfire echoing around us, "But... why did you let 2D believe -"

"Don't be dim, Sloane. Face-ache and Russel had to have what looked like a genuine reaction, otherwise it'd look suspicious," Murdoc snapped, cutting me off defensively, "Besides, she did crash land with her parachute and disappear, so technically I never lied."

I stared at him, mouth open in shock as I processed the terrible truth of it all. I could see 2D as he had been in his bedroom, mouth twisting with bitterness as he told me how much he missed Noodle, how he suspected Murdoc had been behind her death. The sour taste of bile flooded my mouth as I recalled how hesitant I'd been to believe him.

I guess Murdoc fooled the both of us.

Sickened, I stepped back from the green-skinned man with a prickle of unease sending a chill down my spine. He began to frown, brows coming down from beneath his fringe to crease the skin of his forehead, eyes burning into mine. I could see his wrath, his spite, the two of them written out across his face in every line and scar; he was the monster he had made himself into, I could see it so clearly now.

I was cold as I asked the question that burned suddenly bright with panic in my chest, voice sharp.

"Where's 2D?"

Murdoc didn't respond, his face transforming into an emotionless blank slate as he looked cooly back at me. I swallowed the hysteria beginning to claw at my throat, anxiety running electricity down the length of my spine as my gaze flicked between his mask of carelessness and the tussle occurring between the two Noodles.
                 Overhead the large hand of the giant man snatched one of the planes that assaulted him clean out of the air, crushing it with a flex of his palm. I was sure I saw the burst of red when the pilot's blood was squeezed from their body.

"Where is he?"

My voice cracked as I asked again, looking into Murdoc's eyes imploringly as he stared back unmoved. My blood ran cold.

He's still on Floor B2. The bastard forgot about him.

The realisation left my mouth dry with panic as I looked towards the large metal door set into the cliffside, open to reveal a distant view into the trash-filled lobby. Betrayal burned like poison in my veins, throbbing fire through my system.

"Sloane -"

"You're heartless," I spat, venom flying from my lips as I hurled the words at his carefully blank face before I turned to leave.

"Better heartless than dead, love," Murdoc growled, and I seethed in rage as I felt his hand catch around my arm, yanking me back to the stairs as he continued, "The building is structurally unsound; any second now it's going to collapse."

"You radge cunt! You don't care about anyone -" I began to yell, twisting in his grip until he shook me roughly, cutting me off.

"I do care! You stupid, stupid girl," He snapped, fingers compressing my wrist hard enough for the bones to audibly crack, "But he's gone! Accept it and move on like I have."

I shoved him off me, tears pricking my eyes as I stared at him in horror. The man was standing there in the sunlight with the pink of the shore reflecting in his infected eye, the other flecked with green and golds; the perfect divide between loneliness and lunacy. Uninjured hand moving to grasp my bruised wrist, I looked on silently as he breathed deeply before speaking once more.

"Sloane, I refuse to stand by and watch you go down there."

The words meant nothing to me, were empty shells that fell at my feet. I crushed them beneath my heel, grinding them into the wooden step of the wharf.

"Then don't watch," I heard myself say, voice flat and hateful, "Look away, and while you're at it go fuck yourself."

I'm coming Stu. I won't leave you behind.

My feet seemed made for flight as I set off sprinting up the beach, Murdoc swearing colourfully behind me. Every footfall was met with the squelch of oil, black spraying up my shins as it burst through the pink paint and tainted the veneer with what filth lay beneath. My anxiety receded from my limbs as I ran through the lobby doorway, fuelled by a golden warmth lighting up within the very marrow of my bones. It felt a lot like love, it felt a lot like knowing we were both getting out of this hellhole Murdoc made for us alive.

Dodging past fallen chunks of the ceiling and trash bags, I jabbed the "down" button on the elevator control panel, leaping inside as the doors grated open. Wasting no time, I was quick to press the button for B2, hopping foot to foot whilst the doors trundled to an achingly slow close. The light flickered on and off as I waited for the lift to descend, my pulse racing as I felt it jag on it's pulleys.

Is it too broken to move?

There was a terrible screeching sound of metal on metal, drowning out the sound of the gunshots outside as the elevator box slid downwards. I braced myself against the wall, feeling the vibrations of something being pushed by the movement of the lift, some sort of obstruction that every now and then caught against the sides of the shaft and caused the box to jerk to a sudden stop. My hands clenched and unclenched in agitation as I held my breath, wanting it to go faster but terrified it would suddenly plummet to a final, fatal stop.

Clunk. Chk-kk. CLUNK.

The lift halted in it's descent with a violent lurch, the soft bell chiming after a few moments of complete silence. Then the doors were dragging themselves open and I felt my stomach drop sickeningly as I stared at the tubing and bare cables lining the shaft walls, only a narrow slice of the darkened B2 level visible through a five inch gap along the lift floor.

No no no no

"Murdoc? What's wiv all the noises up there?" Came a lilting voice, floating up to me through the darkness and melting like honey against my parted lips.

"Stu."

Just his name, forever the sweetest sound my tongue could make as I sunk to the ground, lying so that I could see through the gap and into the room beyond. Eyes adjusting to the lowlight, I was dismayed to see the walls were cracked from the shockwaves of the bomb blasts above, the structural damage visible yet not enough to break the room apart. My stomach turned with queasy panic as I noted the sea water that was leaking into the room as a small spray from a particularly deep crack, malevolent despite it's minuscule size.

"Sloane?"

He stepped into sight as he whispered my name, black eyes wide in the dark as they met mine. Blue hair a mess, cheeks silvery with dried tears, he sniffled and turned away to wipe his nose with his sleeve before fixing me with a look of wonder.

"You came back."

My heart slammed itself to pieces against my sternum, begging to return home, and I felt myself grinning at him through the tears that threatened to spill down my face.

"Of course I did, I promised I'd protect you from all the big scary whales of the world didn't I?" I laughed weakly, hoping he remembered our conversation about Jonah and the Whale from all those years ago.

"Somefink like that," 2D murmured, smiling softly for a moment before looking towards the exposed lift shaft below me and frowning ever so slightly as he added, "I fink the lift is broken. There's a big metal strut fing broken off the base of it an' it's wedged against a pole in the wall here."

"Can you shift it?" I asked, craning my neck to try and keep him in sight as he reached out beneath the elevator box. 

There was the sound of faint creaking and metal jiggling against metal as he wrestled with the impeding parts, before he gave up with a sigh. When he reappeared in my view through the gap his lips were downturned at the corners, black eyes heavy-lidded in defeat.

"It's jammed in there too hard."

No.

"The lift was pushing it down before, maybe if I try and jostle the box then the weight will snap it," I said in a rush, panic rearing within my body like a wild animal as I leapt to my feet, slamming my shoulder hard against the far wall of the elevator.

The confined box shuddered from the impact, but otherwise remained unmoved as I stepped back and tried again, launching myself to collide hard and fast with the graffitied wall. My body rebounded off it painfully, the elevator jostling with the awful sound of metallic screeching as whatever piece had become stuck below scraped against the pole. 

It has to go down. It has to let me reach him.

I leapt again for the scrawl-covered wall, desperation painting the world in a swirl of hyper-colour as I beat my body against it. The box swayed and scraped, then there was a snapping sound that echoed down the shaft, followed by the thud of something hitting the roof as the entire space jerked.

"Stop!" 2D cried out in distress, and I immediately froze, lying back down so that I could see his forlornly upturned face as he told me what my aching chest refused to believe, "It's wedged too hard, an' all the bangin' an' crashin' only made one of the cables snap."

"There has to be a way-" I began to tell him, my voice rough as it dragged itself past the lump in my throat, but he shook his head, face drained of all it's colour.

"It's over, Sloane. It's all finished."

"No! It isn't," I protested, eyes wide as I watched him give in to the horror of the situation. Remembering what I had wanted to tell him - the girl he needed to find - I felt tears choking my words as I tried again, "Stu, Noodle's alive. She's up on the beach, waiting for you."

Ink-coloured eyes grew wide, lips parting in disbelief as he looked up at me. Overhead there was a rumble of an explosion, shaking the building around us as 2D tried to find the words he needed to speak. What words were there to say? He had created a perfect world of misery for himself in an act of grief, only to now find out his sorrow had been misplaced.

"... how?" He asked finally in a whisper, his voice breaking on the single syllable, angular face wavering between a joyful smile and open-mouthed shock.

I looked at him with a knife waiting to launch itself from my tongue, cold and metallic against the flesh as I tried to think of a way to tell him without breaking his heart.

She left him and let him suffer that whole time, thinking she was dead. How can you tell someone that? How can you keep it from them?

Sickness clawed up my throat as I wrung my hands, shaking my head slowly as 2D looked up at me expectantly. I wanted to tell him that she would never have done it if she'd known how much it'd hurt him, but I didn't know if it were true. I knew nothing save for the fact that I couldn't leave here without him.

"You can ask her yourself," I managed to say, offering him a crooked smile as I grasped the upper edge of the room's elevator opening and pressed hard against it, "Now come on, help me push this thing down."

He shook his head, gaze heavy-lidded as he watched me strain against the unyielding surface. Something in him had changed, had shifted until the layers of his armour had begun to peel back, revealing the vulnerable bones beneath.

"No, Sloane. It'll break the elevator an' then you'll be stuck down here too," He said in flat refusal, rubbing his temples with a wince as he looked away from me, as he looked anywhere except my pleading face.

"What else can I do?" I asked him shrilly, mouth flooding with the salty tang of tears as he scowled up at me in response.

"Leave! Just leave again," He snapped, stooping to snatch the long-nosed mask I'd thrown at him earlier off the floor and holding it out at me with shaking hands, "I'm nuffink, I'm just a liar an' a fool, remember?"

I felt the words hit me like a slap but I pushed them aside, knowing how terrified he was, how hard he would lash out in an effort to protect me from harm. When I didn't reply straight away, he seemed to sink a little as he slid the mask onto the top of his head, causing the blue tufts of his hair to stick out at wild angles. 

Gently, I gazed at him through the narrow gap and murmured, "You're my best friend, Stu. I'm not leaving here without you."

"You have ta!" The blue-haired man exclaimed, hugging himself and shivering in the darkness of Floor B2 as he added miserably, "You can't help me anymore."

We had reached a stalemate, my hands empty and useless as I lay there looking at the man I had loved since seventeen, still unable to take no for an answer. Give up or give in, no other choice had been granted to us as I swallowed back the lump in my throat.

"If I leave now, you'll die."

The words hurt to say, like whispering razors through my lips, and 2D shuddered before offering me an attempt at a smile that had the candle-bearer within my chest limping out towards him, only to be caught up against my ribcage, only to struggle against the confines of my skin.

"I fink whether you leave or not, Sloane, I'm gonna die either way," The boy said simply, and I loved him as he shrugged at me helplessly, mouth beginning to curve into a laugh of terrified  hysteria.

There was no version of the world I wanted to live in where he didn't leave with me. No way for me to comprehend a life without him out there in the world. I wanted to say it but couldn't find the words as I looked down at him; a love from which I was now eternally barred.

Don't ask to become another ghost I carry with me, please, I cannot bear it.

He reached his hand up to me, sliding it through the narrow space to take mine. Our fingers interlocked, mine forever crooked and trembling beside his long pale ones.

"Go on angel, you gotta get out of here," He told me simply, his face set despite the fear I could see flickering in the black depths of his eyes, "I can't come wiv you."

"But... I love you," I said brokenly, the words scratching out through the raw mess of my mouth.

He smiled, the crooked one I knew was pretence, the pad of his thumb stroking across my knuckles.

"I'm sorry fa all the fings I couldn't be," both the boy and the man whispered, his false smile fading as his gaze traced the lines of my face like he wanted to memorise it perfectly for later, despite the fact he would not live long enough to forget.

I clutched tight to his trembling fingers warm in my hand, leaning to brush them with a kiss wet with tears. Another bombardment from above shook the island, more cracks appearing across the walls of the underwater room.

"You have ta go now, before it's too late," He urged, black eyes flickering in panic. I felt his hand begin to pull from mine and I cried out in a sob that was almost lost in the rumbling from above.

"Stu, please, I can't leave you here," I begged, the vision of the blue-haired boy through the narrow gap blurring with tears.

His lilting voice was an exasperated rasp as he replied, cracking on one broken word.

"Why?"

"Because I want you with me," I wept, eyes meeting his over all the wasted love between us, "Both here and at the end of all things."

2D smiled, looking up at me as if I was a far-off moon he could never hold. There were tears in his eyes but they didn't fall as he gripped my hand tight in his own.

"I wish I could be," He murmured, before blinking away the moisture, still smiling softly as I watched him put on his Brave Face; that beautiful gap-toothed grin he had always reserved just for me. When he spoke again his voice didn't tremble, his smile never faltering as he told me, "But I can't. And you can't stay here wiv me, no matter what. You're gonna get off this island and get away from people like me, and Murdoc, and DeWitt. None of us deserve you, not even fa a second."

I clenched my teeth, chest aching as I spoke through my sobs, "Please don't leave me, not again Stu."

"Oh Sloane, as if there was a place in the world I wouldn't be wiv you."

And then he was gently slipping his hand from mine, pulling away and stepping back from the elevator doors whilst my skin went cold with his absence. I watched as his gaze flicked to the porthole window on the opposite side of the room, a blurry shape visible through the cracked surface in the dim lighting. It was far away, almost but a speck in the distance, but was quickly growing larger as it approached at speed.

"The whale is comin'..." 2D murmured, before turning back to face me, tone one of urgency, "You have ta get out of here. I mean it, Sloane."

Every cell in my body burned with my desire to argue, to tell him that I wasn't leaving again, that I wished now that I never had in the first place. Yet as I looked into the darkness of his eyes I found I couldn't say the words. I couldn't deny him the one thing he'd asked of me as he stood waiting on the cusp of death, trying his hardest to be brave.

With a wretched sob I stood, my view of the room shifting until I could only see his upturned face,  the long-nosed mask sitting askew atop his blue-haired head. In that moment he was the most beautiful he'd ever been; his cheeks pale like a morning star just before the dawn steals it from view, with purpling bruises on his chin and under one wide black eye. I committed him to memory as I stood there, cradling my love for him in one hand whilst the other hovered over the Ground Floor lift button.

"Thank you, Stu," I whispered across the distance stretching out forever between us, "For everything; for being my best friend. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like it was somehow second best to anything else we could have been."

The boy shook his head, eyes large and sad voids as they looked up and into mine. His mouth opened to answer but he never got the chance as he was interrupted by a loud rumble from above, shaking the elevator hard enough for it to clunk against the sides of the lift shaft before settling precariously back once more. My gaze was locked with 2D's, the both of us knowing we had run out of time.

"I don't know where I'm going, but if I see Lou on the way there I'll send him your love," The blue-haired man rasped, still trying to make me smile despite the fear that made his voice crack on the words. I felt my lips curve upward, a breathy laugh escaping from between them as I watched him through the slit between the roof and the elevator floor, my heart aching with the bitter sorrow of it all.

I went to make my own attempt at a lighthearted reply when another bomb shook the building, the walls of the underground bunker audibly cracking to release a harder hissing stream of seawater into the room. 2D's gaze flicked from mine to the porthole once more, growing wider in alarm before settling back on my face.

"The whale is almost here. I can see it Sloane, it's comin' straight fa me," His tone was urgent, eyes panicked as he stared at me imploringly, "It's time."

My hand stayed frozen over the lift button, my heart lurching in my chest as I shook my head, tears streaming down my cheeks. I watched as he nodded, lips quirking at the corners in a small sad smile as I finally pressed down. The elevator jerked in response, the doors beginning to grate slowly closed.

"Goodbye, Sloane."

I wanted to tell him all the ways in which I loved him, to sob out a farewell from the very centre of my aching chest and have him know exactly how much darker the world would be without his sunshine smile. Standing there looking down through the slowly narrowing gap, clutching all the words I had yet to say and knowing, with every fibre of my being, that none of them would be enough.

I love you.

"I'll see you around, Stu."

He grinned wide at my words, nodding with tears in his eyes as his hand reached up to the mask sitting atop his head, beginning to slide it down over his face as he called out across the final unreachable space between us.

"I know it's scary, Sloane, but you gotta let go; that's the only way a Trapeze Swinger gets ta fly."

Then the mask was over his eyes and he was turning to face the oncoming whale as the elevator doors snapped shut on my view of him, ascending jerkily while I clutched at my heart, staring unseeingly at the place where he'd disappeared from sight.

Stu -

An earth shattering impact from below flung me off my feet, the lift box shaking wildly on the pulleys with enough force to turn everything into a maelstrom of rubble that collapsed around me as I realised what had just happened.

Stu Stu Stu Stu Stu STU STU STU STU STU-

Shrapnel rained down on my fallen body, the world becoming incomprehensible static and white noise until I knew nothing but the agony that blocked out all other sensation. The sun had exploded into a supernova and Earth had gone dark in his absence, icy without his warmth.

STU STU STU STU STU STU STU STU STU-

Distantly I could hear someone was screaming, just one word repeated over and over until the syllable became an incomprehensible sound of grief. A name. Someone's name.

STU STU STU STU STU STU STU STU STU-

My voice. His name. It didn't matter. The ringing in my ears was slowly ceasing, throat splitting open raw and turning to sobs. There was a terrible grating noise from the doors as someone forced them apart, but as I lay there in the broken pieces of the smashed elevator wall I found I could see nothing but black stretching out forever beyond my open and staring eyes.
                 Hands were grabbing for me, pulling me from beneath bits of scrap and shaking me roughly.

"Sloane?? Sloane oh thank fuck you're alive."

I wasn't alive, couldn't they see? The world had ended and we had all entered hell; no need to thank fuck or god or any the cruel angels who had sat up in the clouds and watched all this happen. 

"Sloane, love? Can you hear me?"

Stu Stu Stu Stu Stu Stu Stu Stu

I was blind as they gently pulled me into their arms, lifting me from the floor with a sweeping motion so that I was cradled to their chest. All around were the muffled sounds of gunfire and the plane engines, incomprehensible yelling from afar, and I blinked at the dark static still blocking out my vision as I felt myself being carried away from my tomb.
                 I couldn't think to try and identify who it was that had found me, my hands groping dazedly at their shirtfront, but they must have loved me as I felt their lips brush my temple in a tender kiss.

"It's alright love, you're in shock. I'm here. I've got you."

They must have loved me so goddamn much, as they held me close to their steady pulse. It was a waste; the blue-haired boy had disappeared and I couldn't find his ghost within that blind hellscape of gunfire and ruin. It didn't matter who was with me.

Stu Stu Stu Stu Stu Stu Stu Stu

"He's gone, love, I'm sorry."

I felt everything go limp, sounds becoming muffled once more as I choked for air through the swollen expanse of my throat. Inhale, exhale. A whimper passing through my mouth, dragging across my dusty tongue. Whoever held me was speaking once more, but this time not to me.

"Fire up the seaplane and let's get the hell out of here."

I could hear someone replying, but their words were muted through the white noise flooding my senses. The one holding me spoke again.

"Well if there's no more room then she can take my place; I'll find another way off the island."

An urgent reply, the speaker seemingly arguing with my rescuer, then their cutting reply as a finite end to the conversation.

"Yes I'm bloody sure! Now get going, we're running out of time."

They carried me a few moments longer, before my fingers fisted in the material of their shirt as they began lowering me down gently. There was a sound like a raspy laugh, barely audible over the sound of an engine starting nearby, then their hand was on mine trying to pry the deathgrip loose.
                  My vision was returning slowly, hazy and grey as I felt them loosen my fingers from their chest and watched the silhouette of a figure step back from me. The light from the setting sun made me blink rapidly as everything sunk in and out of focus, lips parting in faraway surprise as I found myself lying on my side on the floor of the seaplane and looking out the open door to a man standing alone on the pier. His hands were in his pockets, face unreadable as he watched me with his hazel eyes.

"Until next time, Sloane McLeod," Murdoc drawled nonchalantly, stepping back as the plane began to move and adding with a dry laugh, "I'd say it's been a pleasure but, why lie?"

You saved my life.

The door was slammed shut by the co-pilot, stealing the green-skinned man from view as the plane began to speed up as it readied for takeoff. My eyes fluttered closed, time slipping in and out of space in a numb haze until I felt the jerk of the plane leaving the water.
                   As we ascended steadily into the sky and curved through the air towards whatever far-off land, I slid against the door bodily, head momentarily high enough to see out the little window at the top. Below I could see Murdoc, a solitary figure standing on the wharf growing smaller with every passing second. My mind felt clouded as I watched him, his face upturned towards us as we left him behind, and I couldn't help but distantly wonder how he would get home.

The plane began to bank in the opposite direction, and the black spots flickering across my vision grew larger as consciousness began to slip from my grasp. The last thing I saw before I sunk into the waiting dark was the hazy image of Murdoc standing alone, the island collapsing into pieces around him.