Chapter 17
Ice Cream
Jace became more comfortable with me when we ate our lunch together. He just remained quiet while we were eating. Well, that was really the Jace I knew. He instantly transformed back to himself when I told him to.
I didn't know if it was actually a good thing, but the moment he smiled at me when he caught me staring at him, I knew it was.
It was funny how those sweet gestures didn't even matter to me like how his smile did. He really didn't have to try so hard. I just wanted him to be true to himself. I wanted him to open up his feelings to me. I wanted to see I matter to him by being involved in his life. That was what I wanted. I didn't need anything else.
"After our meeting tomorrow, we will go straight to our house for a dinner," Jace told me when he halted the car in front of our house. "I already told my mom that you accepted her invitation. She's thrilled with the thought of finally meeting you."
Hindi ko alam kung bakit kaysa maging excited ay mas lumala lang ang kaba na aking nararamdaman.
"Uh... Sige. Bukas na lang," nagmamadali kong sabi nang dahil sa hindi maipaliwanag na kaba. "Ingat ka sa pag-uwi, Jace. Bye."
Mabilis ang naging pagtakbo ko papasok ng aming bahay. And just like a déjà vu with a few distinctions, I found mom waiting for me at the living room when yesterday, it was dad who was in the same position.
"I'm home, mom..." I announced with slight hesitation before I came closer to kiss her cheek.
She casually closed the business magazine that she was reading before she turned to me. The way she stared at me felt like I did something very wrong.
"Who drove you home?" she asked me.
"Si Jace po," tipid kong sagot.
"Oh..." she let out a sarcastic laugh. "That Architect who also fetched you earlier."
Bahagyang kumunot ang aking noo nang hindi ko nagustuhan ang tono ni mommy sa kanyang pananalita.
"Zarina, ano na lang ang iisipin ni Dylan kapag nalaman niyang may ibang sumusundo at naghahatid sa kanya?" tanong ni mommy. "You two are just starting to build your relationship together. We don't want him to think ill of you, right?"
"What are you talking about, mom?" I guessed she got everything wrong between Dylan and I. "I don't know why Dylan's opinion will matter. I get that he's trying to get to know me, but we're certainly not together. It's not like I'm cheating because I'm not."
"I thought you already understand, Zarina," mariing sabi ni mommy at hinawakan ako sa aking braso. "Pinaplano na namin ng mommy ni Dylan ang nalalapit ninyong engagement dahil nakikita naming nagkakamabutihan na kayong dalawa. Don't spoil the moment and remain faithful to Dylan. That Architect is no good anyway."
Marahas kong binawi ang aking braso sa kanyang pagkakahawak at umatras papalayo.
I can't stand her underestimating Jace because he was not a person you can think so low of. His name was already screaming success. What more if he will boast his achievements at a very young age?
"Paano ninyo po nasasabi 'yan, 'mmy?" I can't help but to be disgusted at my mother. "I have no commitments with Dylan for you to ask me to be faithful. We have no strings attached. And don't underestimate Jace because he already has a lot of achievements at a young age."
"You have to understand that I am doing this for you!" giit ni mommy. "Dylan can help you with our company once you two to get married. Our companies will also merged and unite. Just think how bright your future will be once it happens. Mag-isip ka, Zarina. Huwag kang basta-basta na magpapadala sa panandaliang nararamdaman mo na handa mong itaya ang kinabukasan mo."
I laughed with no humor before I seriously stared at my mom.
"I assure you that this is not just a short-term feeling, mom," I told her. "I've been in love with Jace even before I went to New York because that's what you wanted me to do and because I also needed to. But you see, mom, the feeling is still here. Hindi nawawala at nababawasan. Patuloy lang na sumisiklab at lumalalim."
"Love?" she also laughed like she found what I said as a joke. "Come on, Za! You're still young for the love that you're talking about. Get your senses right and see what's good for you!"
"Really, mom?" I'm so close at resenting her for being so hypocrite. "I'm too young to feel what love is, but I'm not too young for you when it comes to marrying the man you want me to end up with?"
"How dare you talk back to me that way?" Her face was starting to get red.
Even if I wanted to stop, I also wanted to express what I was feeling. Gusto kong makita at maintindihan niya ang katayuan ko patungkol sa gusto niyang mangyari.
I knew that she was my mother, but it didn't mean that she had a final say with what I wanted to do with my life.
Parents are there to guide their children and to give them advices, but they're not entitled to meddle like the way she's meddling with my life right now. We're talking about my future! I didn't want to risk my lifetime happiness for the sake of our business.
"What if you're in my position, mom?" I challenged her. "Paano kung gusto kang palayuin ni lola noon kay daddy at ipakasal ka sa iba na hindi mo naman mahal para sa kompanya? What will you do, mom?"
Based on her reaction to my question, I knew that she was having a hard time answering it that made me question her love for my father. Though there was no doubt that she loved my father but the question was how much she loved him for her to hesitate?
I've made up my mind.
I will never be like my mother. I will never hesitate when it comes to proclaiming how much I love my husband in the future. I will never think twice. I will fight for my love even if the odds aren't in favor with me.
"Zarina."
My eyes widened when I heard my father called me. I turned at the staircase and saw him standing there.
I suddenly felt guilty. I was sure that he's heard of my conversation with mom. Hindi na niya dapat narinig pa 'yon.
Parang may lumamutak sa aking puso nang makita ko ang dumang sakit sa mata ng aking ama. I took a glance at my mother who looked so sorry as she stared at my father whose eyes were directed on me instead of her.
"Daddy..." I sounded so apologetic.
Tipid siyang ngumiti sa akin at sinenyasan akong lumapit sa kanya. Hindi ako nag-aksaya pa ng oras at agad na sinunod ang kanyang utos.
"You go to your room now and take a rest, darling, okay?" malambing niyang sabi sa akin at pirming pinapanatili ang ngiti na kanyang suot.
"Dad..." I sighed. "I'm sorry..."
His smile vanished from his lips before he shook his head and leaned closer to kiss me on my forehead.
"You don't have to be sorry about anything, Za..." he assured me. "Now, don't you worry and take a rest now. Jace told me that she invited you to their house tomorrow night. You should prepare yourself for that."
I was surprised that my dad knew about it. I wanted so bad to talk to him about Jace and ask a few questions, but I knew that he needed to talk to mom. Hindi man sila nagsasalita ngayon pero alam kong nagkaroon ng lama tang kanyang relasyon dahil sa nangayri ngayong gabi.
I kissed dad on his cheek before going upstairs to my room. I wanted to eavesdrop and see what was happening between my parents, but I trust them so much. Alam kong kaya nilang lagpasan ang problema nila ngayon at alam kong mas gusto rin nilang huwag na akong makialam.
The urge I have to eavesdrop to check what was happening to my parents was too strong. I was this close in going out of my room, but the moment my phone rang with a call from Jace, I instantly halted.
Slowly lifting my phone against my ear, I heaved before I answered the call.
"Hello..." I quietly said.
"I'm home," he told me as soon as I answered. "What are you doing?"
"Hmm... nakaupo lang sa kama," sabi ko.
"Can't sleep yet?" he guessed.
He was right. I can't sleep yet because I was worried for my parents. Gusto kong malaman kung naayos na ba nilang dalawa ang gusot nila.
Even if I was hating my mom right now, I still didn't want them to fall apart. Ayokong magkasakitan silang dalawa. Hindi ko kakayanin 'yon bilang nag-iisang anak nila.
"Want to go for a night drive?" he asked me.
Parang nahulog naman ang aking puso sa kanyang biglang pag-aaya.
"Huwag na. Nakakahiya, Jace. Kakauwi mo pa lang tapos babalik ka na agad," pagtanggi ko sa kanya.
"That won't stop me. I'll be there in ten," he quickly said and ended the call.
Agad naman akong lumapit sa salamin upang tingnan ang aking sarili. Nakasuot na ako ng white cotton shorts at pink plain top. Mukha namang maayos pa ang aking hitsura sa suot ko. Okay lang naman siguro kahit huwag na akong mapalit.
I glanced at my phone, remembering Jace's last words before he dropped the call. A smile appeared on my lips. He was truly being himself already. The Jace earlier this morning was a Jace who will do everything I said, and will always bend down for me. But the Jace that I just got a call from, he was the real Jace. He rules his own life.
In exactly ten minutes, he sent me a message that he was already waiting for me in front of our house. I got my wallet and phone from the vanity desk and quietly wet out of my room.
My parents weren't in the living room anymore. Maybe, they're settling their problem inside their room.
I immediately spotted Jace's car as soon as I got out of the gates. He opened the window to my side and signed me to get in already and so, I did.
He was really the Jace I knew.
"Why are you laughing to yourself?" he asked me when I silently chuckled.
Napatingin naman ako sa kanya at saka umiling. "Wala lang."
Kumunot naman ang noo niya sa akin bago umiling at tinapakan na ang gas upang umandar na ang sasakyan.
"Your seatbelt, please," he pointed out to the unused seatbelt.
Without thinking twice, I buckled up my seatbelts and sat properly before I deciphered his look tonight.
Napangiti naman ako. Bagay na bagay sa kanya ang kaswal na damit. He was wearing a white v-neck shirt and some kind of black cotton shorts just like what I was wearing. Natuwa naman ako dahil kahit hindi kami nag-usap ay parang magkaparehas pa rin kami ng suot.
"Stop staring at me. I'm driving," he said while his eyes were focused on the road.
Ngumuso naman ako at saka humalukipkip bago idiniretso ang tingin. "Ang sungit talaga," bulong ko at umirap.
Gone were the times that he was so extra sweet and all. Sana pala ay pinatagal ko man lang.
I saw in my peripheral vision that he glanced at me, but I remained facing the road we were taking.
Taking back my words that he wasn't sweet anymore, I was completely blown away when he suddenly reached out for my hand. He slowly slipped his fingers in between mine, intertwining our hands, and let it rest on my lap. Even when controlling the gearstick, he made sure that he'll never let my hand go from his hold.
Paulit-ulit kong tinatago ang aking mukhang tuwing hindi ko napipigilan ang sarili sa pagngiti dahil sa sobrang kilig. I wasn't prepared for that gesture! I thought we were done with that already! Hindi ko man lang naihanda ang puso ko.
"Stay there," he simply instructed me when he parked his car on a convenient store.
Mabilis siyang lumabas ng sasakyan at ako naman ay nanatili sa loob habang nakatingin sa aking kamay na kanyang kaninang hawak-hawak.
Hindi rin naman siya natagalan sa pagbalik. May dala-dala na siyang supot ngayon na inabot niya sa akin. Mayroon iyong laman na dalawang popsicle ice cream.
When we were back on the road, he held onto my hand again.
He drove all the way to a subdivision and stopped at a small and quiet park inside it. It was a normal park with a simple playground for children and a couple of benches around it.
"Anong subdivision 'to?" mahina kong tanong habang naglalakad kami sa parke.
"Our subdivision," he answered and sat o one of the benches.
Bahagya naman akong napatigil sa paglalakad at saka siya tinapunan ng kuryosong tingin. "Malapit lang dito ang bahay ninyo sa park?"
Tumango naman siya. "Just turn on the next intersection. Sa dulo no'n, iyon ang bahay namin," sabi niya. "Gusto mo bang tingnan?"
Mabilis naman akong umiling bago umupo sa kanyang tabi. "Bukas na lang."
He chuckled at my answer before giving me one of the popsicle ice cream and the other one for himself.
"Why did you bring me here?" I asked him. "I thought we're just gonna drive around."
He casually leaned on the back rest of the benches while he ate his ice cream. Pinanood ko lang siyang maging kumportable sa kanyang ginagawa.
"I usually come here when I want to think and be alone, and I thought that you want to stop and think," he answered. "When I called you earlier, I can sense in your voice that there's something not right that's why I called you out. I'm not gonna ask you to tell me what your problem is, I just want to be by your side while you settle your problem inside your head until you're finally at peace."
Napangiti naman ako bago binuksan ang ice cream at kumain na rin. Tiningnan ko ang playground sa aming harapan at naalala noong bata pa ako't wala masyadong inaalalang problema. I guessed this was the consequence of being a carefree child before.
"Have you ever heard your parents fight?" I absentlyminded asked him. "Recently, my parents started fighting. May hindi sila pinagkakasunduan na bagay kaya hindi sila magkaintindihan."
He shifted his position and acted like he was thinking of circumstances when his parents fought before he answered.
"My parents never fought... Well, I actually don't know if they are fighting while we're not looking or listening, but I never heard nor see them fight," sabi niya. "Masyadong mahal ni daddy si mommy para hayaan niyang mag-away silang dalawa at ganoon din si mommy. Kung pagtatampuhan ay madalas magtampo si mommy pero simpleng suyo lang ni daddy ay ayos na ang lahat. Kapag si daddy naman ang magtatampo, sa huli ay siya pa rin ang gagawa ng paraan para magkaayos sila."
He slightly chuckled before he continued to eat his ice cream.
"People are actually commending them for having a strong bond, but my dad always tell them that he and my mom have gone through a lot for them to bend with a simple problem," he shared. "You'll see what I'm talking about when you visit our house tomorrow."
He seemed to have a very happy and warm family. I wondered what made him so cold and different from his family.