"A marriage counsellor? I don't believe in those." Jungkook says categorically, arms crossed as he turns away from the little plaque hanging on the wall near the therapist's entrance door. Yet Taehyung is quick to grab his wrist harshly to make him stop, both of them glaring at each other.
"You have another idea, maybe? Because if you don't, we go in there." Jungkook holds his gaze, a tensed silence falling between them, before he finally seems to realise that there's no other choice. They're helpless, after all.
"Fine." He sighs, hating to give in, but he has to admit that a counsellor actually seems like the best option. Taehyung rolls his eyes in annoyance before opening the door, faking a smile to greet the secretary who announces that they'll have to wait for a while. Thus, they sit down in the waiting room, not saying a word, so that a heavy silence remains floating around them, It's not like they're not used to it, though. Awkward silences are part of their lives since so long, they have learned to ignore it.
After they saw each other for the last time, that is to say five days ago, their worries and fears hadn't been long to crush the little spark of hope their conversation had generated. Jungkook had started to doubt whether he would be able to endure six months more trying to put the pieces back together while they hadn't managed to do so in three years. On the other hand, Taehyung had been asking himself if he was ready to let go of Jimin. The latter had been Jungkook and Taehyung's friend for years, not to mention he was also Taehyung's lover. But this one knows that he would have to say farewell if he and Jungkook eventually remained together, and he doesn't like the idea at all. Not only Jimin has always been here for him, but he's also the one who made a little part of his deepest fantasies come true, as Jimin likes rough sex. Thus, Taehyung has slowly become addicted to their sexual intercourses. It's actually quite surprising, as he had never craved sex that much before, and he's not sure if he actually wants to go back to the vanilla sessions he formerly had with his husband. If they eventually remain together, Jungkook will have to change the way he acts in bed...
The counsellor's office door suddenly opens, startling them as they were both deep in their thoughts, and three people come out of the room. Jungkook quickly identifies the couple and wonders if Taehyung and himself look just as tired as these two, if their shoulders hunch forward this way too, as though being crushed under their huge amount of problems.
After saying goodbye to the couple, the woman eventually turns towards them, and the kind smile she sends them helps the two males relaxing a little bit. They greet each other before entering the room, sitting on the black sofa in front of the counsellor's armchair. Taehyung nervously plays with his hands while Jungkook's leg is bouncing up and down slightly, both of them waiting nervously for the therapist to sit down and speak.
When she eventually begins she first asks their names and ages, their professions as well, and then comes the tougher part: their relationship.
"So, tell me..." She begins, her voice calm and composed, "How long have you been together?" Taehyung's throat tightens when he hears the question, as it's always painful for him to recall they've been together for so long and still can't understand each other.
"Eighteen years." Jungkook answers, and Taehyung feels thankful for not having to utter the words.
"And when did you start to have big issues in your couple?
-When he cheated on me." Taehyung immediately replies, earning a murderous gaze from his husband.
"That's not true! Our problems began when Yoongi-" He stops for a second, becoming aware of what he's going to say. "When his brother passed away." He explains with a softer voice, Taehyung emitting a shaky breath because the appointment is already a disaster whereas it's not even been five minutes.
"If you say so..." He gives in, not wanting to keep arguing, and he turns towards the therapist instead. "Jungkook is resentful because I've been mourning my brother a bit too much." He tells the woman, who is writing down some things at the same time she's listening to them.
"Don't make me look like a monster..." The raven-haired male scoffs, shaking his head slightly. "You've gotten disinterested in me, you ignored me for two years except when it was to comfort you. That's why I cheated on you, and I was so drunk I wasn't even conscious about what I was doing... But you cheated on me for months, and you were completely aware of it!" Taehyung prefers not to reply, his knuckles white on his knees, as he wants to hear what the counsellor has to say about their relationship.
"I see..." She begins, looking up from her notebook, and Taehyung feels relieved as he doesn't spot any hint of judgement in her eyes. That's one of the things he feared the most, along with arguing in front of the therapist. But it seems like that last fact was actually inevitable... "So, if I understand well, at the time you felt like Taehyung had lost any interest in you, right?" She asks Jungkook with a gentle voice, and hearing the phrase being voiced out by someone who seems to understand his troubles makes the raven-haired male suddenly feel as though something snaps inside of him.
"Yes, exactly. I mean, we never shared intimate moments anymore, except when he wanted to be comforted, and it was very painful. I felt rejected... As if my feelings didn't matter." Jungkook mutters, seeming to finally drop the blank mask he's usually wearing, and this makes Taehyung forget about the implied reproaches in the other's sentence: he suddenly understands that even if his husband did bad things, he himself hasn't been an angel. He left Jungkook alone, and he didn't even thank him once for being there every time he needed support. He suddenly wants to say that he's sorry, but his throat is completely dry and he can't muster the courage to do it.
"Taehyung, do you have something to say?" The counsellor asks as she noticed that his expression changed, and he wants to answer so many things that his thoughts come out in a jumble.
"I didn't do it on purpose, I was just trying to recover... And I didn't want to hurt Jungkook, not at all, but- I just couldn't forget about Yoongi. And I also felt like Jungkook and I would keep going hand in hand no matter what... So when he cheated on me..." He's suddenly at a loss for words, unable to find an expression that would be strong enough to describe the state he was in when Jungkook confessed his fault.
"Frustration is a really strong feeling, you know..." Jungkook mutters with a gloomy tone, keeping his gaze on the floor.
"Enough to make you break your own couple?
-Our couple had already begun to tear apart, Taehyung." Jungkook sighs, as his husband apparently can't understand what he means. "What kind of couple doesn't share any conversation? What kind of couple doesn't have sex, or doesn't go on a date? We used to do all of these things before, and all of a sudden, there was nothing at all anymore. Of course, after a while it started to drive me crazy!
-Why didn't you tell me then?" Taehyung immediately replies, tears gathering into his eyes, and he hates himself for being so sensitive.
"Because you wouldn't let me!" Jungkook snaps, so that Taehyung suddenly goes silent and look at him with wide eyes.
"Wh-what the hell are you saying?" He stammers after a few seconds, Jungkook rubbing his forehead because he's definitely starting to have a headache. He knew he shouldn't have come here... This appointment is a waste of time anyway.
"I'm just saying that, every time I tried to speak to you, you would tell me to leave you alone, and that you didn't want to talk. I told you, the only times you spoke to me were whenever you had to express how sad you were and how much you missed your brother. I was sick of this, so one day my self-control broke... Honestly, you should have seen this coming." Taehyung is completely speechless, not knowing what to answer at all. Was it really like that from Jungkook's point of view? Has Taehyung really been the first one to act like an asshole? "On the other side, I never understood why you cheated on me though..." The raven-haired male scoffs, folding his arms on his chest, and Taehyung tries to gulp yet his mouth is too dry for that.
"Well, there was revenge, of course, but... I... I..." He stutters, the secret he has always tried to repress being on the verge to be revealed. But he doesn't want to, he can't confess that to Jungkook, let alone to the therapist, whom he barely knows! They'll definitely think he's insane...
"You know, Taehyung," The therapist begins with that kind tone she never seems to lose and that reassures him beyond words, "If you have something on your mind, I think it would be better to tell us about it. Communication is very important in a couple, and maybe even more in this room. We can't help you if we don't know everything, do you understand?" She asks and Taehyung nods, but his palms are sweating and he feels nauseous all of a sudden. Jungkook is watching him in interest, wondering if there's still something he doesn't know after so many months yelling atrocities at each other, his thoughts interrupted by his husband stuttering some words:
"You're going to think I'm crazy...
-A lot of people think that they're not normal, you know... But every time they voice their secret out, it always ends up being something actually quite trivial, and they feel very relieved." The words sink into Taehyung's mind, and he suddenly feels a little spark of hope. And even if it's not normal, maybe his deviance can be cured? If the counsellor owes the answer to his questions, he's certainly willing to tell her... Plus Jungkook deserves to know his secret after all this time.
"I..." He begins, before taking a great inspiration. "I like brutality. Like, during sex, or when I'm kissed. I mean, the first time, I cheated on Jungkook because I wanted to get revenge, but then I kept doing it because I discovered that Jimin was a bit rough. I craved for even more violence though, but I took what he gave me, and it was enough to make me addicted. I never told him about this either... I just wanted to keep that secret for as long as I could." Jungkook remains completely silent for a few seconds, his expression gradually morphing into a disgusted one, before he explodes:
"And you never told me?
-J-Jungkook, it's an abnormal desire, I couldn't!
-Do you live in a fucking cavern? There are a lot of people like you, haven't you even heard about BDSM once in your life? If you had told me before-
-Because you would have taken me seriously?" Taehyung scoffs, rolling his eyes.
"Obviously! Do you think I'm that narrow-minded?" This makes Taehyung look at his husband with an astonished gaze, and silence falls between the two until the counsellor starts speaking again:
"Jungkook is right, this is a normal craving than many people have. It can go from rough kisses to extreme ways to have sex, but as long as you always make sure to do it safely and with each part's consent, it's totally okay. Jungkook, if things got better with Taehyung, would you be ready to try it?
-Of course." Jungkook replies without hesitating one second, so that his husband looks at him with wide eyes. He can't believe it was so simple... Was that all a matter of communication in the end?
"That's great. Now, has any of you anything else to say? If you forgot to tell me something, now is the time.
-I just want to know what you think of it..." Jungkook sighs, sadness visible into his eyes. "Is our relationship hopeless?
-Actually not." The woman immediately reassures them, the two men sending her a shocked gaze. "You know, if the two parts are ready to work for it, then there are often great chances that they will succeed. However, don't forget that you will have to change a lot of things, especially to improve communication between you two, and also to put yourself into your partner's shoes more often. But for next time, you'll only have one thing to do..." She explains, so that the two males look at her with an expecting gaze, "It's to neither see nor talk to each other at all." They remain still out of confusion for a few seconds, before Jungkook manages to gather his thoughts enough to be able to speak out:
"You mean... Not even cross each other's path? For a month? But I thought you said communication was important...
-It is, but for now what you need the most is to detach yourself from the last two years' events and to take things into perspective. You also need time to forgive each other for what happened in the past, because if you don't, then we won't be able to start working on your future relationship." Taehyung nods, understanding what she means, and in the end they both agree to her proposition, settling their next appointment one month later.
When they cross the threshold to get back in the street, they look at each other for a few seconds, aware that this is the last time they see one another until the next time they'll stand here. Of course, they used to avoid each other a lot during the last months, but they've actually never been separated more than a week or two in the past decade, so that the idea seems quite odd.
"So... See you next time?" Jungkook begins, and Taehyung gulps heavily but he nods, eventually extending his hand because he feels like their goodbye would be too cold without at least one last touch.
"See you next time." The raven-haired male seems to understand, so that he squeezes Taehyung's fingers for a second, their gazes crossing and screaming their thoughts more than words could ever do. Jungkook's hand lingers a bit on Taehyung's, but eventually he lets go, and they part before heading into opposite directions.
"Taehyung?" The raven-haired male suddenly calls though, the said boy immediately whipping his head towards him. "You... You won't have sex with anyone, right?" A slight smile makes its way on his husband's face, the latter shaking his head lightly.
"I wouldn't even think about it... But this applies to you too, alright?" Jungkook nods frantically so that Taehyung's grin widens, before he waves his hand one last time and disappear at the next intersection.
Taehyung gets back home with the same little smile plastered on his face, the tiny spark of hope he had lost before their interview with the counsellor lighting up anew. If Jungkook and himself work hard enough, maybe they can get back to normal, he thinks as he enter his apartment.
He's cut in his thoughts as warm lips suddenly land on his, making him freeze in surprise before he pushes away the person assaulting him, the latter stumbling back so that Taehyung can finally see his face.
"Jimin?!"
****
Hope you liked it :) See you tomorrow for another chapter!