After making it to the ceremony on time, Pepper is back to clinging onto the arm of my white attire. The red scarf hangs down to my waist, and I've tucked my sunglasses away. She's not letting me separate from her for anything, and I'm not sure if it's her insecurity of how her entire family seems to be happily married or if she's still watching my every move. To be honest, I was utterly surprised that I had the morning to get ready by myself, but I guess family comes first. Shows me where I'm at, right?
I'd love to recap the wedding itself, but it was a lot of up beat nonsense that I know nothing about, and even though the tempo was a little different than a normal American wedding, I'm still easily bored. I fidgeted with my hands and occasionally felt a squeeze from Potts, but she had no clue what my internal debate was over. To be honest, I always wondered what our wedding would be like - I guess I'll never know now. There's no way she'd ever want to reinstate our engagement, especially not to the public or her family.
The reception follows, and now we're standing at the bar waiting to grab some drinks after the dinner was served and devoured. I lean over casually, but the red head is violently searching the room for anyone she knows.
"Pep, it's like you're embarrassed of me," I finally say as the bartender hands me a scotch and a martini for her.
She accepts the drink as we wander back to our table and forces an uncomfortable smile. "They made us the guests of honor for a reason," she answers, setting down her drink.
"Because you're close to the bride?" I ask, and suddenly, my scotch is being ripped from my hand as I go to take a sip with a disapproving glare from Pepper.
She sets it on the table, too.
"Yes, that and none of them believe I'd really wind up bringing Iron Man here."
"Pepper, it's been nearly two decades we've known each other," I realize. Fuck, that's a long time. "They really don't believe you work for me?"
"No," she corrects, "they don't believe that I'm dating you."
Did she just say dating?! She did. She said it. I'm definitely not imaging that, right? My heart is fluttering, and call me gay, call me fluffy, or hopeful, whatever. I'm thrilled.
"Did you just-" I question, but as she begins to open her mouth to make an excuse, we're interrupted by the bride herself.
"Katie!" Potts exclaims, and I take in the woman next to her as they hug.
She doesn't have the same fiery red hair, but the light freckles as still there under her darker brown locks. They have a similar face, but the eyes are different shades, too. Each their own unique beauty, and a breathtaking family tree, apparently.
"Congratulations!" I hear her say, and then she's back to holding onto my arm. "And I want you to meet-"
"Holy crap, it really is you!" the bride states, shocked, and nervously extends a hand to shake.
"Here and in the flesh," I joke, greeting her with my own.
I flash her my familiar Stark smile, the same grin I used to give the girls before seducing them to come back home, before I'm rudely shoved by Pepper at my side. I whip my head toward her, then swallow hard and clear my head. Right. This is her family. This is Pepper. I need to make a good impression. Especially after...
"Tony put up a good fight, but I told you I'd get him here," Pepper spoke, running her hand down the front of my chest.
I can't help but shiver lightly. God, this woman. Showing me off like a trophy.
"I can't believe it!" Katie says, still not sure what to say to move past the fact that Tony Stark is her wedding guest. "I know you said you work for him, but, Virginia..."
"Katie, I told you already..." she muttered under her breath and I'm suddenly more interested.
"You mean..." her cousin starts, wide eyed, and Pepper's then nodding.
"What?" I finally ask, looking between the two.
Someone fucking tell me!
"I told you she doesn't believe we're dating," Pepper finally admits, and all I can do it laugh a high pitched mockery; yup, probably not the best, but whatever.
"Well, congratulations, Katie, and thank you for the invitation, and the...well, I feel like a prince, to be completely honest," I grin. "But if I may so politely excuse us, I think I'd like to catch a dance with my girlfriend now."
Then, I lead her away and walk her to the dance floor. Pepper's shooting a look over her shoulder, and I hope it's a good one, because then we're sharing a slow dance in front of the rest of the guests with a few other couples on the floor; the American aspect of this wedding, I guess.
"So, we're dating again, huh?" I ask with a mischievous grin as I hold her body against mine.
"Not now, Tony," she answers politely, reminding me a lot of the tone she used nine years ago when we first danced at the Fireman's benefit.
My smirk fades and I look at how awkward we must look; my horribly bright white get up and her red dress and natching red hair... She looks beautiful, as always, but me? I'm a wreck. Suddenly dying is the last thing on my mind. Maybe it's the wedding, I'm not sure, but for whatever weird reason, I'm hoping this won't be the last time we dance. I want many, many more dances in the future. God, what the hell is happening to me?
Before I know it, I'm blurting out something far worse than the dating comment.
"You ever think about having a family, Pep?"
What the fuck? Tony Stark with...mini Starks? A wife? I mean, we were engaged for a little while, but I never really thought beyond that, so where the hell was this coming from?! A very weird inquiry, yes. ...But maybe that's what I'm missing. Someone to care for. Someone to care back. Further than just the usual friends who don't require my attention that often.
I finally notice that she's staring at me like I have two heads. Oops.
"With you?" she finally asks.
But she isn't holding the tone I thought she would. Instead she's calm and it looks like she's teasing the idea in her brain. Wait, does Pepper...does she actually want...?
"Just in general, I guess," I lie.
I totally meant with me.
"Well," she begins, leaning in to rest her chin on my shoulder.
This is new. Yet familiar. This is good.
"It's something that's been on my mind, yes."
I inhale sharply, my body tenses, and she notices. Shit. So does she...have someone else? No. She can't. Or does she mean me? Fuck. Panic. Panic again.
"Tony?" She asks as if she knows.
"Huh?" I answer absentmindedly.
"What's wrong?"
"Just thinking."
"You shouldn't do that," she tells me.
That frustrates me, but I try to keep my cool. "You know, I did what you asked. I took the last few days to think. And to look at my life. And to spend time with you, Pep. And I know what happened, but believe it or not, I think I'll be okay."
"You think?" she repeats, frowning when she lifts her head from my shoulder to analyze me with her blue orbs.
"I know," I assure her. "I've found what I was missing."
"And what's that, Mr Stark?"
I smirk again, my eyes full of clarity. It's her. It's always been her. And it's not just because she said she'd come back, it's because I need to exist to make sure she's happy. To make sure nothing hurts her. And to make sure she gets to live. That's what's gonna justify Iron Man, too. No more fights, or scary aliens, or...rogue suits or whatever. Her. Happy. Rhodey. The kid. Instead of defending them, it's time to protect them. And I know I said protect before, but I don't think I understood the meaning of the word. This is different.
I realize we're just swaying as the song changes to something more up beat, but she's still looking at me expectantly. Shit. Do I explain all that to her?
Nope, I say something stupid instead.
"Um, I think your family's looking for you," I tell her instead, pointing to where our drinks still sit on the table, where a small group was gathered, watching us with cheeky grins plastered on their faces.
"I think they can wait one more dance," she purrs, and that's the best thing I've heard all day.
Except until one of her younger cousins or maybe a family friend, I don't know, approaches and tugs at her dress hem. She crouches down to the boy's height after lacing her hand in mine.
"Hey Dylan! Your mom told me you were here somewhere. I was looking everywhere for you!"
Okay, so Pepper has some hidden maternal talent. This is new.
"Is that...is that Iron Man?" the kid whispers as if he doesn't want me to hear.
I stifle a groan - kids make me uncomfortable most of the time. Except Harley. Harley was a cool dude.
Pepper squeezes my hand, glancing at me as if to beg me to handle this, and I can't say no. She's going out of her way to make sure I'm okay (even if I keep insisting I am), so I'm gonna have to suck it up.
"How do you know who Iron Man is?!" She pretends to be surprised and it's adorable.
"He's on TV all the time. And mommy said he'd be here."
"Well, kiddo, you're in luck," she grins. "Do you want to meet Iron Man?"
He nods excitedly and I raise an eyebrow at her. She stands back up and jabs my side.
"Be nice!" she warns and I heade it.
Pepper detaches from me and heaves out a sigh before going back to her group. I'm left standing awkwardly, now with my hands in my pockets, forcing a grin at the boy to my side. He's looking up at me, starstruck. I'm used to this with women, but usually they're a little...taller. Sometimes. I guess sometimes they're on their knees, so that'd make them about his height...
Anyway, point is...what do I do with it? Do I pet it? Are kids like dogs? I don't have a fucking clue.
"Where's your suit?" he finally pipes up, breaking the silence.
"Uh, left it at home, kid. No bad guys here," I answer.
He frowns and looks at his feet. Okay, do something, Stark. Can't let Pepper see you upsetting the first kid you talk to. So, I kneel down on the ground with him and force a smile.
"Wanna see somethin' cool though?" I ask, fishing around in my pocket for the glasses I used as a remote for when I had to babysit Parker earlier today.
I take them out and place them on his face, then tap the side and talk lightly into the receiver.
"Friday, can we show my special friend here around the lab?"
"Of course, sir," I hear her reply, and then his view is sent to inside the helmet.
He grips onto both sides of the glasses and I wince, trying not to worry about him breaking them...he's only what, seven? Eight? His jaw drops and he looks wildly around as his physical body does a spin on the dance floor.
"Whoa!!" he gasps.
I place my hands on his shoulders to steady him. "Okay, easy there, cowboy."
Then, I hold his hand out in front of him and tell him to widen his fingers so he can view the repulsor.
"Now don't fire it!" I order as I show him how to pose.
I give him a moment, then I'm bored.
"Okay. Yeah, cool. You did good, kid."
I snatch the glasses back and power Friday and the Mark down before placing them back in my white jacket thing.
"I wanna be just like you!" he decides, but my eyes have wandered over to Pepper, who is watching me with a small smile on her face.
"Yeah, well you see that red head over there?"
The boy nods. "That's my cousin Ginny!"
Weird.
"Right. Well, I wanna be with her. So uh, go say hi to your mom for me, okay? Skedaddle, kid."
I ruffle his hair and then push myself back to my feet so I can go back to Potts. She mouths a 'thank you', then introduces me to her mother, who she speaks with cooly, two female cousins I don't listen to the names of, and a male cousin that seems to be related through marriage to one of the females.
They continue to talk, so I eye the glass of scotch I left on the table and go for it. As I do, there's a dinging for a speech, and suddenly the room is hushed. I hand Pepper hers, so she isn't empty handed. She turns her lips up and accepts it, but doesn't look pleased. Doesn't matter; we're interrupted by a quick thank you from the bride and groom.
Once they finish, I take a swig of the drink, letting the warm amber liquid swim down my throat. When I finish, the male cousin - Daniel, I think he said - has his hand on my shoulder and he's rambling something about an engineering project he worked on at Harvard, but I'm barely listening. Sorry, dude, but my eyes are on some thing less business pitchy and more interesting: Pepper trading glasses with her mother while her back is turned to me.
I narrow my eyes, take another drink, then I feel the courage coursing through me. I'm gonna need this drink, because judging by her actions...
"Honey?" I ask after stepping away from Daniel and snaking an arm around her waist.
I lean between she and her mother and place my glass on the table; she clutches hers, which is now empty. She swallows nervously and brushes a piece of her bang to the side, smiling at me.
"Tony, I don't think I've introduced you to-"
"Susan," she greets, a hand outreached like Katie had; apparently they're not trusting enough for hugs yet. "Susan Potts. Virginia's mother."
"Right," I respond, accepting the hand shake quickly. "And may I say, the resemblance is uncanny."
It really is. They look a lot alike, only her mother has dark eyes, not bangs, and a slightly heavier build. She obviously got her looks from her mother's side.
"Mr Stark," she replies cooly. "I've heard a lot about you."
"And I'll assume none of it good," I snap back without thinking.
She doesn't miss a beat. "Ginny tries, but I prefer to get the updates on you from the tabloids. They seem to be more accurate."
Ouch. I like her.
"Mom!" Pepper groans and her shoulders stiffen.
She's right, though. I have a history. I'm aware of that. But things are definitely going to change. Especially if what I suspect is right.
"No, no, it's okay," I agree; old Tony would never be so civil. "Can't blame her for being truthful." I turn back to her mother. "But I can assure you my intentions are only good for your daughter. Right, Pep?"
Pepper shares a glance with her mother, silently begging her not to reply. I don't miss it. So, I lean into her and pretend to place a kiss on her cheek, only I breathe out a whisper into her ear instead.
"So how far along are you?"
My heart's beating out of my chest but I try to play it cool despite the need to vomit right here on the spot. A breath hitches in her chest and I can tell she didn't expect that. But it makes sense, right? Three months she's gone, then she won't tell me what she needs to talk about...probably because I'm too unstable and too much of a flight risk to her to raise a kid, despite my practice on Parker...being sick had to be morning sickness, and now she's refusing a drink. Call me Sherlock.
Feeling damn proud of myself, I don't realize what that means. Shit. A kid. A baby? A mini Stark. A mini Potts. Nope. Not okay. Not ready for this. She is right. I can't handle this now. Can I? I mean, I told her I made up my mind. I'm here to protect her. And I know I wouldn't mind it, but...can I do this without fucking up? Yeah. Yes. God, I hope.
She looks at me, confirming with her eyes. Fuck.
"Excuse us for a minute," she pardons sweetly, sharing another glance at her mother.
Yup, she knows too. Guess that's what that three months of family time was.
I follow her outside to the hallway leading into the hot, blazing sun on the dusty roads leading away from the house and wait for her to make a move. She's facing away from me, her arms crossed, and she takes a big breath. She's trying to calm herself down.
Running a hand through my hair, I silently curse myself as I follow the timeline of possibilities. I fucked up. We didn't use protection that night after Siberia. That would leave her at...okay, my brain has stopped processing math. Fuck. The genius isn't so smart right now.
Okay. No, I can fix this. This is...she's scared. It makes sense, right? She still thinks I'm fragile. Still thinks I'm gonna run off and jump off a cliff or something, suit not included.
My body seems to act without my brain, because I spontaneously decide to approach her, and then my arms are around her, my head on her shoulder. I plant a kiss on her cheek and she grabs at my arms, almost holding me there in case I float off. And then we stand there in silence, the sounds of the city coming from the surroundings and the music from inside wafting out into the open. Again, like that night after the hospital...peaceful.
"Sixteen weeks," Pepper finally speaks, still facing away from me.
I exhale gently and hold her tighter, making her smile sheepishly; I can just slightly tell she's biting her bottom lip and trying to hide it.
"So that would make it-" I begin, attempting the math again.
"When Nat called me," she confirms my suspicions.
I close my eyes momentarily, trying to process. Then, her voice returns.
"How did you know?"
I chuckle lightly. "You weren't drinking. You always have at least one."
"I do not!" she scoffs.
"You do when you have to put up with me."
"Well, you know how you get..." she mutters.
"I know."
She pauses for a moment. "You weren't supposed to know yet."
Um, okay? So when was she going to tell me? When it popped out? I loosen my arms and turn her toward me instead.
"Why couldn't I know?"
"Tony..." she whispers, her eyes glossing over.
"Hell, Pepper, even your mother knows!"
"Why is that a bad thing?!"
Now she's raising her voice and I'm getting tense. Shit.
"Because you two barely talk, you know that."
She backs out of my light embrace and crosses her arms again, glaring at me. Way to go, Tony.
"Well I couldn't exactly tell you," she growls back. "You were too busy trying to kill yourself if I remember correctly."
What do I say to that? I'm not even sure. Why are we fighting? Fuck, we're going to have a baby and she wants to fight. I mean, yes, I'm pissed as hell because she won't stop treating me like glass, but...
"Tony, I'm so sorry," she says suddenly, reaching out a hand to me; she's shaking. "I didn't mean that. I didn't... please don't..."
I must have been staring at her blankly for too long because now she's panicking. I break away slowly, taking a breath, and face indoors again. I need a drink, I think. Not even alcohol. Just water or something. A break from this conversation so we don't make it worse. See, I'm learning!
I can hear her sniffle once I take a few steps so I stop, fists clenched, and close my eyes while I exhale. Damnit, I can't stand it when she's crying...I've learned that well over the past few days.
That cracks me, and I suddenly loosen up and turn back to her, but this time I take several large steps toward her and now my hands are on her cheeks and my mouth is on hers, kissing her with everything I have. I feel her gasp in surprise as I hold her to me, but soon her arms are rested on my chest and she lets my tongue in and I kiss her like it's the last time I ever will.
Don't worry, it's not.
She needs breath, so I let her go and she stumbles a little. I'm not about to move my hands from her face though - I'm busy wiping her tears away.
"What-" she breathes as I press my forehead against hers.
"I love you, Pepper," I tell her quietly; all my anger is gone. "And you need to relax; this is just a fight. We're gonna have them. It happens. I know what I did, but like you said, there was a reason you found me. And I am going to spend every second of this second chance you gave me making sure you and that baby are healthy and happy."
She lets out a breathy laugh in disbelief and lets her hands wander to the backs of mine as I rub her cheeks with my thumbs. She probably doesn't believe a word I said. Hell, I don't. Tony Stark, a father? But there's a first for everything, I guess.
"I just wanted you to be happy," she whispers to me. "And...and in that tape, you said I would get over it if you...were successful. But I wouldn't. Ever."
"I promise I'll never try something like that again," I tell her sincerely.
And even though the depression may not be rid from my soul yet, it's a start.
"All I kept thinking about was you lying there, Tony, if I hadn't walked in to tell you. If I didn't come in time, and..."
"I know."
"I don't know what to do because I can't ask you to pretend to be happy just for us. So I didn't want to tell you right now. I mean, I'm so scared you just won't tell me and try it again, Tony. And that I won't be there that time."
I squeeze my eyes shut. That stings. But she has every right to have that fear.
"I swear, Pep, I won't. And you can spend every second of every day watching me, or have Happy follow me around or Rhodey or-"
"That would be exhausting," she giggles.
I open my eyes and meet hers and they're glowing.
"I fucked up. I get that. But this...I thought you walked away for good, Pep, and that'd we'd never get...this."
She swallows, I can feel it. And then she runs a hand through my hair and I feel my body relax instantly. Damn, is she going to be a great mother.
"I don't know how to do this, Tony," she admits.
"We'll figure it out," I promise, even though I'm beyond terrified, myself. "I'll check in with you every damn day if I have to, and spill my feelings and shit. And I know that means nothing, but that's all I can give, Pep. You gotta start trusting me somewhere."
"I'm still having Friday restrict your access. And I swear to God I'll ruin that system if you try anything to over ride it," she threatens.
I huff out a small laugh at her form of rage in a quiet agreement and kiss her forehead.
"That's fine. I'll do whatever you want if it'll help us move past this."
She smiles gently and for the first time since...hell, I don't know, New York, Ultron...everything seems okay. She slowly winds her arms around my waist and leans her head into my chest, breathing deeply.
"I missed you, you know," she says. "During...everything. And even now. I miss my Tony."
I try to hide my smile but fail, but that's okay. My mind is still spinning over the fact that Pepper's pregnant. With my kid. And I almost threw everything away and didn't even know.
"Well, get used to me," I tell her, pulling her into me and resting my head on her chin. "I think I'm gonna be around for a while."
"You don't know how good it is to hear that."
I don't even know how to respond, I just know that I seriously miscalculated everything.
"So are you...do you really want to do this?" she asks suddenly.
Truthfully? I'm terrified. Horribly terrified. But it's Pepper. And it's mine.
"I'm gonna be honest, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing," I admit. "But if it means I get to have a family with you, I'm gonna do my damn best to make it work."
"You'll be the best Iron Dad on the block," she jokes, hugging me tighter.
"You know, that doesn't sound half bad."
It really doesn't.