"Max I don't want you to go, I really don't have a good feeling about this."
He passes the reins of his horse to the stable boy and steers me away from prying ears.
"I must go Cassie. The king has summoned me and as a loyal subject I have little choice in the matter."
He pauses, sighing, when he sees that this is not helping my outlook on things and tries another approach.
"You have nothing to fear my love, it will amount to nothing and I shall be home within a few weeks."
"A few weeks! But Max...I'm... I'm lost here without you."
And it's true. I feel like an idiot for even thinking it – I have actually become one of those women who can't live without their husband.
God I'm pathetic, and he appears to sense my thoughts as he pulls me in for a hug. I snuggle into his chest as much as I can with his armour in the way and breathe him in deeply, savoring his smell.
He still smells of hay and sweat after all this time and panic fills me as the thought of never smelling him again becomes a very real worry.
He kisses my head and I can feel tears prickling in my eyes, as he gently detaches himself from me and places his hands on my shoulders.
"You must be strong my love. As my wife the people look to you to lead them in my stead. You are now the beating heart of the castle... the pulse that all things must and will, gravitate toward and through."
I can feel the sense of responsibility and authority that he is bestowing upon me and know that he trusts me to set the example and be a leader. How am I supposed to do that? I've never been so scared in all my life – I am now fully responsible for every person (and animal) that resides in this castle and I don't know the first thing about it. I echo my sentiments to him.
"But I don't know the first thing about running a castle..."
"You'll do a fine job Cassie, I know you will."
I reluctantly accept his impending departure and the inevitable chaos that will no doubt ensue after he's gone.
I know that the last thing he needs is to see me in this state as he's leaving and marching toward the enemy, so I plaster a fake smile on my face and try to sound as upbeat as I can.
"Ok, you're right. I'm sure everything will be absolutely fine here. Don't worry – I'll take care of everything."
And he smiles lovingly at me fully aware that I am talking out of my arse, but remains too much of a gentleman to draw attention to it.
"I'm glad to hear it, wife" he smirks and pulls me in close, kissing me deeply as I hang on for dear life, not wanting to say goodbye.
He turns and mounts his horse, adjusting his armour so he can sit comfortably on the long journey.
I run to his side, suddenly afraid that I might never see him again.
My throat feels like its closing with the emotion clogging it.
"Come back to me husband" I whisper.
"Always" he states as if it's fact, and gives me one last lingering look that conveys everything that we have, and haven't said to each other.
With that he pulls on the reins and leads the men and their horses out of the courtyard at a startling speed; I walk to the gate and watch them until they disappear from view behind the rolling hills of the South Downs, praying that they all return safely.