Chapter Eleven: I Was Either In Love With You Or Was A Pathological Liar
Tessa
Cole's up to something and so far I've come up with absolutely nothing trying to figure out what he's doing behind my back. It's not that he's sneaking around with another girl but he's definitely hiding something from me and it's driving me crazy. It started out after our spat over his horrible treatment of my client but in the days since I've accepted that he's sorry about it and that in future he's going to try and be more respecting of the people I choose to hang out with. So imagine my intrigue at the fact that it really does seem like he's up to no good because why would you really need to rock that particular boat?
I don't have a lot of time to think about Cole's escapades because I'm buried beneath a mountain of work but still a nagging voice tells me to watch for signs of him spiralling. Who even knows if he's found another single mother who needs protection from a violent ex? But our building is a relatively tame one and the residents are mostly white collar millennials or college students so I'd say we're safe and Cole hasn't found a new mission. But with the way he's been creeping around, trying to hide his phone from me and just being generally evasive there's no way he's not hiding something from me and that's what I tell Mattie at work the next day. Other than the fact that he gives really good advice, Mattie has also gotten to know Cole and me pretty well in the last few months and it feels nice talking to a person about this as opposed to talking to someone on the phone or via a screen.
He listens to me carefully as I go on and on about Cole's history of trying to do something good but it ending up backfiring on the both of us. He doesn't seem too concerned though, "Don't you think you're being a little paranoid Tessa? I think you're reading way too much into the situation."
I open my mouth to argue but at the moment Kevin walks to my cubicle and drops what I assume is a huge stack of manuscripts on my desk.
"I need the summaries on my desk by next week and if you find any good ones like you did with Wyatt McKinnon make sure you force me to read it okay?"
"You got it boss."
He gives me a parting nod and walks back into his office. Mattie whistles at the amount of manuscripts I need to go through because his boss doesn't trust him with this particular part of the job yet. He gets passed on the middle of the road manuscripts that have a little to no chance of being picked up and I know it gets him down to have to end so many peoples' dreams but I'm hoping his anal retentive boss, Donna sees how talented he is and how he's got a true eye for spotting a bestseller and gives him more responsibility.
"He expects you to go through all that in a week? That's going to be what a couple thousand pages?"
"He's trained me well. I can usually tell by the first ten chapters if Kevin is interested and there's no point summarising the ones he's going to bin anyway so that makes my work much easier."
"I'm jealous. Would it kill Donna to give me one good book? Just one?" He whines dramatically and face plants into his desk.
"And run the risk of you actually getting some credit? It would kill her."
"Want to trade editors?"
"That'll be a cold day in hell."
He sticks his tongue out and goes back to the GQ website because really, even though he complains about his lack of workload a lot times like these make me think he's a lucky bastard. I eye the pile on my desk and groan with the realisation that my I'm going to have to spend the entire weekend going over these and that's not what I wanted when my dad's here. Hopefully I'll make a significant dent in it before he gets here because if he really wants to talk about Danielle then I need to give him my full attention. It's about time he finds his forever happiness and get over all the battle scars mom left him
***
I find Cole already home and making dinner by the time I get there. I'd pulled in some overtime today, trying to get through as much work as possible today and my brain's fried. I'd dreamed about ordering myself a large Chicago style pizza and eating until I wanted to puke.
Actually given how shitty I've been feeling all week I don't really need food to make me upchuck but I push that thought aside. Anything to do with being sick or involving a doctor has always made me go running for the hills and I know all my symptoms are a sign of how tired and exhausted I am all the time. Work is stressful but if I don't work hard enough now I might not be able to show the company and my boss that I can handle more and that it'd be great if I get to be more involved with the publishing process. So I suck it up even though I'm dead on my feet right now and there's no way I won't fall right to sleep when I hit the bed but watching Cole walk around in a great mood, cooking something that smells way too delicious is lifting my spirits and like one of those cartoon, I'm automatically pulled towards the smell coming from our oven.
"Hey shortcake, you scared me tonight." Cole leans over the counter and kisses me. "I didn't know you'd be working late tonight and you didn't answer my texts."
I stifle a yawn, "Sorry, time just got ahead of me and I'm pretty sure my phone died on me somewhere chapters twenty to forty."
He raises a brow, "That sounds like a lot of reading. I texted Mattie if he knew where you were and he told you were working and that he'd just left you in. Long day huh?"
"The longest and there's more where that came from. But I won't complain much, not when I've seen how much studying you have to do the next few weeks."
He grimaces, "That isn't going to be fun but I don't want to talk about it. I want you to go take a hot bath that I've already started running for you and then come back her for lamb chops that I haven't managed to burn yet."
I laugh because the man's a great cook, he just doesn't have the time to treat me like this every day.
"Sounds like a plan but what's the occasion? We could've just ordered take out."
He makes a growly sound in his throat, "Romance isn't dead yet Tessie and if I want to make you a nice romantic meal once in a while then I damn well will."
I raise my hands, "Just asking a question and I will never say no to your cooking so while you're at it feel free to make dinner."
"There's two pack of those molten lava cakes you love so much in the fridge. I'll put them in the oven once the chops are done."
I salivate at the thought of dessert and right now I'm so thankful for him. There were many nights back in New York when I would come back from a hard day at work and just feel so incredibly lonely and miss Cole. I'd gotten used to living with him in college so living alone had been a huge change and moments like this remind me why I uprooted my life for this guy.
Mostly because when he's not being a possessive jerk, he's literally perfect and the one person I love the most in the world.
"I'm on to you. You're up to something and I am definitely on to you."
He sighs dramatically, "You're making me feel like I'm a shitty boyfriend Tessa. I don't just do nice things for you when I'm planning or plotting or whatever you think I do in my spare time."
"Hey, that was just the one time and only because I really did think you were going to kill Jay. I had to salvage your family somehow."
"You told the guy he might want to start looking into getting a restraining order against me."
He points the spatula towards him, getting sauce on my favourite apron which says, 'All I Care About Is Chocolate And Maybe Three People' which is true for the most part.
"I was doing it for both of your sakes. He can't help but shoot himself in the foot when he's around you and you always feel the need to react."
"He crossed a line and you know it."
"It was New Years, he was drunk and Leila had just dumped him for the fifth time running so it's understandable that..."
"He felt the need to remind me of the one time he'd walked in on you in a towel?"
"It was a genuine mistake though and he shouldn't have brought it up. You know how he gets when he's fighting with Leila."
Cole takes a deep breath. "You know what I wanted this to be a nice relaxing evening for you before we're thrust into a lot of sleepless nights and I'm not going to spoil it by taking about that idiot. So take your bath, get your hot little body in that pink robe you love so much and let's eat this gourmet meal I'm making so very lovingly for you, okay?"
I smile because it really does seem like he's made an effort for us to have a great evening and who am I to resist being wooed by Cole Stone?
***
After an extremely delicious meal that I licked off the plate, Cole and I take our desserts and move to the couch, snuggling close so that we can continue binge watching The Office.
Cole plays with my hair with his free hand and I sense that he wants to say something but I wont push him. Usually when you do that with him it has the opposite effect so I attempt to broach the topic with some tact.
"Remember Dad's coming on Friday?"
"Yeah, it's in the calendar. You still want to pick him up?"
"I do, I feel like he's coming over here to ask me something important and I want him to know I'm there for him."
"You think he's planning on proposing to Danielle?"
I nod against his chest, "I do and I'm so happy for him."
He hums in the back of his throat as though agreeing and we go silent again. I'm not sure what else to talk about, to bring up so that he fesses up already.
"Hey shortcake," I close my eyes mentally fist pumping and so proud of Cole for not having to need that push.
"Yeah?"
"I was planning for this to be a big surprise but the more I sit here and the more your scent gets to me, the more I realise that I'm a sucker when it comes to you so why don't you grab that magazine on the coffee table."
"Huh? That one?"
He's pointing towards Venus which I've of course gotten a subscription for out of pure loyalty and I have to say, Leila is kicking ass at work and thriving solo when Amy decided to not hire a replacement for me and give Leila the responsibility she always wanted to secretly kill me for. But that's not what this is about, curious and with a thumping heart I pick it up and flick through the pages I'd already gone through earlier this month. I'm not sure what I missed but...
I gasp, loudly.
"You didn't!"
"I did." He grins and is smart enough to put both out plates on the table because I lunge for him and wrap myself around him like a koala bear.
"How did you even know?"
"You know you leave all your social media accounts open and that your birthday isn't the best password for your laptop."
I hit his shoulder playfully, "What'd you do? Stalk me online?"
"I just went through the Pinterest board that said 'Dream Vacation Spots'. I mean I may have completely looked in the wrong place but by the twentieth photo from Bora Bora I thought I lucked out."
"So you just went ahead and booked us a trip?"
"I sure did, one full week of nothing but the sand, the sun, blue skies and ocean and you in very little clothing."
I cup his face in my hands and kiss him soundly because I am buzzing right now. We've been on city trips and skiing several times over but never to a destination like this. I'd pinned all the photos with the hopes of maybe heading there this summer but the fact that he did this just blows my mind and I never did realise how much we needed a break until right now.
"These tickets are for the end of March. Is that Spring break for you?"
"Yeah and remember how I asked you a couple of days ago if you had any vacation days?"
I make an O with my mouth. "So that's why you asked if I could go home with you to help Nana recover from her hip replacement surgery that week. She's not having surgery is she?"
He grins, "No but damn she's a good actress."
I'd immediately called up Cole's grandma once he told me about the fraudulent surgery and wow, she might be old but she sure is a smooth liar. She went with what Cole had obviously told her and I'd been teary eyed by the end of the call, telling her to not worry and that I would read her all the smutty romance novels she wanted me to read to her while she recovers.
Ah but I'm so relieved I won't have to do that now.
I'm so happy I'm nearly jumping with joy and Cole laughs at just how ridiculously happy I am knowing that in a few weeks I can laze about on a beach in the middle of nowhere and drink Pina Coladas all day and all night.
"Happy Valentine's Day shortcake." He gestures to the clock which shows that it's midnight and way past my bedtime but he's right, it's Valentine's Day and he's just gone ahead and pulled off the grandest of gestures.
"I love you," I lean in and kiss him, "Happy Valentine's Day Cole."
I love him not because he's spent a fortune on tickets or getting us a villa, that's all wonderful but I've grown up knowing that money cannot buy you happiness if there's no love in your life. I love him because he takes care of me, because he's thoughtful in a way that I've never encountered before and because he's always showing me that I'm a priority in his life. I'm not the needy girl I used to be. I don't need all his time and attention all the time but what I do need is the security that I'm not alone in this maddening, all consuming, crazy kind of love and this proves it time and time again.
***
One of the least fun parts about becoming an adult with actual responsibilities and a full time job is that you can't really go all out for holidays that some boring guy in the government decided don't deserve to be celebrated with a day off. So while it's technically Valentine's Day and my boyfriend just absolutely smashed it out of the park, I don't have enough hours in the day to do something in the likes of what I'd done for him at college or even high school. I'd planned around this day for weeks and I have a few tricks up my sleeve but how the hell do I beat Bora Bora?
I pose this question to my favourite confidant at the moment and he just gapes at me.
"Bitch what?"
I blink, "Hey no need to get rude. I just asked you a question."
He rolls his eyes, "I'm not calling you a bitch sweet Tess, I used the word in the context of sheer shock and painful jealousy because I can't believe that not only is your man hotter than the Sun but he's also a romantic and it's not fair that you get to have him all to yourself while Juan won't even return my calls."
"Oh, he still hasn't called? Hasn't it been like two weeks? Maybe you should let the ship sail."
His pounds his fist against my desk and I'm thankful that our cubicles are around a secluded corner and that both our bosses are in a meeting because this guy's crazy.
"Never! We had chemistry and I could tell he was into me. He just needs to come clean to his mother that he doesn't want to date the girl from the nail salon because she's got the wrong equipment and we'll be fine."
"But if he's playing you let me know. I know a guy who knows a guy and we're going to make Juan pay."
He pats my head like I'm a child. "I can take care of myself Tess but right now we need to talk about you. What are you going to do for the guy for V-Day? What's going to top Bora Bora?"
I groan, "Nothing tops a tropical vacation and right now my picnic in the park seems like such a silly idea. Hot dogs in the park? What was I thinking?"
"It's not a horrible idea, it just needs to be brought to the next level. Listen, Donna's leaving work early today and she told me I could go home if I wanted. How about I stay here and plan this while you all the important stuff the she-monster will never let me."
I feel both elated and sorry for him that Donna's undermining his talent so much. I'm hoping she'll catch up, eventually that is.
"Would you seriously do that for me?"
"Yes honey I will because witnessing your relationship gives me some hope for the rest of us poor schmucks and I just want to believe in romance a little longer before I give up."
"Hey," he avoids look me in the eye, "you're going to find someone incredible and when you do I'll be the first person in line cheering the two of you on because you have made these last six months here feel like home for me. Mattie, they don't make them like you anymore."
"Of course they don't, He broke the mould after He made me."
I'm so lucky to be surrounded by guys who need zero self-affirmations, truly such a blessing.
Not.
***
I struggle to get through the day, feeling lethargic and knowing that I'm probably coming down with something viral. Still for the sake of Valentine's Day and because Cole deserves better than a girlfriend who is borderline narcoleptic, I plan something special for him with Mattie's help. I get done with work in record speed and spend the rest of the day making some calls and texting Cole to see if he's free this evening. Once everything is all clear, I head home to get all dressed up and remind myself to get Mattie his favourite Sprinkles cupcakes tomorrow as a little thank you.
Getting ready for this particular date night is a little harder than the others I've been on so I decide to pop into my closest H&M and grab the clothes I need. They don't have same exact outfit that I have in mind but I find something pretty close and run home. Once there, I try and rush through the process remembering to text Cole and let him know where to meet me. We're not going to find the same kind of place here but I try and come as close to it as possible. Once it's all done I call myself an Uber and drive down to our destination.
***
I've only been waiting at the vintage style diner for ten minutes when a confused looking Cole walks through the door. He's come straight from school and I can see the tiredness in his eyes which has me second guessing my plan but I go with my gut instinct and know this is going to warm his heart, I hope.
"Hey shortcake," He leans in and kisses me before settling on the other side of the booth. "This was a drive up here."
I wanted to find a beachfront diner and believe it or not they're not that common out here. In the end I went for Oak Street beach which isn't the closest to our home but this place is perfectly reminiscent of a rather monumental diner we'd visited and I just couldn't pass it up.
"I think it's worth it don't you?"
He looks at me questionably like he's not sure whether I'm being serious or ready to rip into him for something he's not quite sure he's done.
Poor boy, I've really been keeping him on his toes these days.
"Haven't you caught up yet?" I get out of the booth and do a little twirl for him in my outfit. Blue jean shorts and a blue and white striped t-shirt paired with sandals. I've even tried to do my hair the same way I did it when I was seventeen, left to air dry and just put in some waves with a straightener. I drew the line at using the same makeup though because heaven even knows what crap I put on my face at the time. But I won't be devastated if he doesn't recognise what's going on here because after everything we've been through since the day of our unofficial first date it'll be a miracle if he does remember.
"This is going to get me in trouble isn't it?" He looks adorable right now and I laugh.
"No but try to jog your memory a little Cole, it's all right there in front of you. The beach, a diner and I even went ahead and ordered you a cheeseburger and a strawberry milkshake for myself."
He blinks, tries to jog his memory and I watch as the recognition dawns on his face and then he looks at me with the look of a man who is irrevocably in love with his girlfriend and that makes it all worth it.
"How could I not remember? It's the day everything changed."
"No, that's the day I actually let you know it'd all changed. You had worked your magic on me a long time ago Cole but I think I was scared to let you know how I felt, I thought it'd all end up being a huge prank." I sit back down and he immediately takes my hand in his.
"And whose fault was that? I'm pretty sure you thought I was either in love with you or was a pathological liar."
"Something like that but it was a good day wasn't it? Who knew one mission to find Nana Stone would have such a happy ending."
"The best, I still can't believe I finally managed to say all the things to you that I wanted to for so long. I was so nervous I remember thinking I'd actually puke half through my confession."
"That would be one way to ruin the mood, I'm glad yo didn't. I was so in awe of you, so utterly obsessed and just thought you were the most amazing person on earth at that moment."
"Jess shortcake, wait a make a guy feel like crap. So you don't think I'm the most amazing guy on earth anymore?" He jokes and I wait to respond until the waitress places our food in front of us and leaves.
"I don't idealise you anymore Cole because I know you now, inside out and this guy is even more incredible than I could ever have imagined. Happy Valentine's Day Cole, I love you and I'm so glad that you decided to speak out and tell me how you felt that day."
I take out his present from my tote bag I'd been lugging around and set it on the table between us. With careful hands he unwraps the paper and takes out a glass bottle that's filled to the brim with pieces of paper folded into the tiniest squares.
"This has all our favourite memories since I'm obviously going with a theme here." I tuck my hair behind my ear feeling nervous all of a sudden. He got me Bora Bora and I went with the good old message in a bottle but he doesn't look massively disappointed so maybe that's a good sign?
"I know we got for days without having a meaningful conversation and I don't always tell you how happy you make me so I got you these reminders instead of our favourite times in case sometimes I forget."
He closes his eyes for a second as if he's in pain but when he reopens them I see the love for me shining through. He leans over and we meet in the middle, kissing softly but soundly. "
"You're going to have to keep adding to the bottle Tessie because this moment right here just topped my list."
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New update guys! I had to break my daily streak because I'm travelling. Also I had a pretty ridiculous twitter exchange today and it's left me feeling a bit meh but what can you do right?
(The purpose here is not for any of you to go over to Twitter and attack the person but I just wanted to share so please don't do that). I rarely get hate, if I do I can pretty much ignore it but this was pretty upsetting and it does do things to a person's mood. So it's not just about me, please remember to be KIND on the internet, there is someone on the other end of the screen reading your words and they do hurt.
Okay lecture over, Twitter can be nice too so feel free to follow me!
Happy reading and see you all soon with a new chapter!
Love,
Blair