"Travel isn't always pretty. It isn't always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that's okay." - Anthony Bourdain
•••
It is said that the fear of death is only the second most-common fear in the world—right behind public-speaking. I personally think that's complete bull. Deep down, all of our worst fears are somehow connected to death. Fear of heights, fear of the darkness, fear of monsters, fear of embarrassment... which is basically an emotional death, if we're honest.
As Della Rae unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the driver door, that familiar shadow of fear slowly washed over me. Why were we at a freaking cemetery when it was nearing the time of the evening when the sun was supposed to set? What did she mean by 'visiting' someone? How did she know how to find this place in the middle of Nowhere-Land Mississippi?
"Come on, Lovett," she coaxed, gently removing the pink flower lei that was hanging from the rearview mirror and grasping it delicately in her hands. "We need to get out there before it gets too dark."
I hesitantly unbuckled my seatbelt and reached over to unlock my door. My heart and head had started to play funny games with my stomach, and the stupid echo of my morbid joke from my first meeting with Della started ringing in my ears.
She could be an organ-thief who sells body parts on Ebay...
I shuddered, wishing my mind wasn't so dark in times like these.
We walked together, crossing through the huge gates. The grass... it was so green. So thick and soft. And the trees that were scattered here and there cast a dim shade down to block out the powerful rays of the setting sun. A gust of wind passed through and chilled me. Or maybe it was my nerves. Or maybe it was Della's overwhelming silence beside me.
Her expression was one of complete solemnity. And her steps were straight and sure—as if she knew exactly where she was going. She always did walk with assurance.
We passed dozens of headstones. Rows and rows of names.
Lives lost.
Flowers and flags.
Death.
I wanted to speak, but my mouth was too dry. And what would I say? There were no words. I just clenched my teeth and walked close beside Della, following her lead.
I shouldn't have been shocked when she stopped abruptly. She stared directly at one particular stone marker in the distance. I shouldn't have been scared... but I was. My heart missed a beat or two. I tried to steady my hands, but they wouldn't stop shaking.
"D-Della...?" I choked.
"I found it," she breathed, instantly leaping forward, running down a bit ahead of me.
Naturally, I dashed after her, but I avoided looking at the stone. I couldn't. What awful secret was Della going to reveal to me? Who was dead? Why was she being so mysterious?
Finally, Della stopped again, bending over the headstone. I wandered behind her, but kept a respectable distance. The way she stood, she blocked the name from my view. But I wasn't complaining.
The sun was quickly sinking, and the sky was a rich gold and red, smeared with pink and purple. It was powerful. And terrifying. It changed the lighting, making everything around us seem as though it had been seeped in honey and amber. Everything was amplified. It was heavy. A tired sort of hue.
Della let out a soft sigh, which instantly made me ponder on something... It is so odd how there are many types of sighs. It's like an entirely different language. Some sighs communicate happiness and contentment. Others relay sadness or pain. Some, anger. But when Della sighed, it carried a meaning I couldn't decipher.
"Well... Jason."
I jumped at the sound of my own name.
"Yeah?"
Della didn't stir at first. "You probably have a lot of questions."
I shuffled my feet and crammed my nervous hands in my pockets. "A few..." I finally admitted. I still hadn't seen the name engraved on the stone, but I wasn't sure I wanted to.
However, that moment of uncertainty was ruined in my next breath, because Della suddenly turned around and moved out of the way.
I saw the name.
And I was even more confused than I had been before.
"But who...?" I paused, glancing at Della and then back to the stone.
"Look closer," she pressed, nudging me nearer to it.
I scuffled closer. And still I thought my eyes were deceiving me. The picture engraved on the stone... was this a joke?
"Old Douglas? Douglas the... Camel?"
I blinked.
What the frick?
"Della, what the heck—?" I spun around. "What is this??"
Della smiled a little. She seemed slightly amused by my confusion and my rapidly growing agitation. "It's Douglas the Camel."
"Yes, Della, I can freaking READ," I rolled my eyes so hard I saw spots. "Stop the games and explain! What is going on?"
Della chuckled a little. But she simultaneously maintained a sense of serenity and earnestness. "Jason, this is Douglas. He was a Camel, and he served during the Civil War."
I ran my hands through my hair, pulling at it. I didn't even care that it all stood up on end. I was so unbelievably mad.
"Della, are you actually kidding me?" my breathing pattern was extremely offbeat now.
"No, Jason, Douglas was actually—"
"I'm not messing around, Della!" I snapped, glaring into her gentle face. "You almost gave me a heart-attack. I thought this was something serious. You scared the hell out of me."
"This is serious, Jas—"
"You know what, no! No it's not. I'm actually mad right now. Legitimately mad." I huffed and dropped my hands at my side. As soon as I did, they felt awkward just dangling there, so I pulled them back up and crossed them into my chest.
"Jason..." Della's soothing tone attempted to calm my tousled feelings. "Will you just let me explain?"
I didn't reply. I only pursed my lips together and glowered at the tombstone.
A stupid camel named Douglas... Who even names a camel Douglas?
Della ignored my silence and proceeded with her narration. "Douglas was a camel, during the Civil War. In the 43rd Mississippi infantry, to be specific; he was a Confederate Camel."
As angry as I was at Della, I couldn't help but listen to her mesmerizing tone while her story progressed.
"The soldiers loved Douglas. But the thing was, he didn't really fit in with all of his horse counterparts. He was just a unique creature."
Where was this stupid story going?
I bit back a sharp comment, settling for a snort of disdain. I still refused to look at Della.
"Anyway, it was said that Douglas was a bit stubborn and had a bit of a mind of his own," Della chuckled a little, moving closer to the stone. She reached out and rested a hand on top of it. "He liked to break loose from his tethers when no one was looking and he wandered around by himself. But they always caught him and brought him back to the campsite. I guess he was just an adventurous kind of guy."
She turned to me, her eyes wondering into my soul yet again.
"But one day, Douglas wandered a little too far."
I couldn't pretend that I wasn't listening anymore. I returned Della's gaze.
"What happened?" I mumbled.
She smiled apologetically. "The Union soldiers saw him while he was wondering out on one of his private excursions. He never came back from his journey. It was the last adventure he ever had."
"So they killed him." I grimaced.
"Mmm... that's the nice way of putting it," she responded, shrugging her shoulders. The breeze danced in her hair. "They think he was eaten because there wasn't a lot of food around."
"Brutal."
"Yeah. But that's not the point. The point is, Douglas died following his dreams. He was free—even if it was only for a little while. And I personally believe... he died a happy camel."
Her words rang in my ears for a good few moments before they completely registered. But honestly, at that point, nothing made sense anymore.
We were standing in a cemetery, mourning the loss of a nearly-two-century-old camel named Douglas, for goodness sake!
"Della, what is this?" I finally huffed, dropping my arms again. "Why did you show me this?"
"Does is not makes sense?" she pressed.
"No, Della. It really doesn't. Nothing about this makes any sense."
She exhaled, gripping the pink string of flowers tightly in her hands. "Okay, then. Ask me again why I left school, Jason. Ask me again... why I travel. Why I choose to wander."
I stopped breathing. Time froze. The sun paused as a chill crept over my shoulder.
I understood.
Della and Douglas weren't so different.
"I left home and school because I needed to be free, Jason," she whispered. She wrung the flowers in her hands. "Sure, life could've been decent had I stayed, but I would've missed out on so much more if I had."
My throat burned and my eyes stung. I crammed my hands back into my pockets and awkwardly shuffled my feet again. I couldn't look directly at her anymore.
What a jerk...
"I just wanted you to understand... I get lonely sometimes. It's hard to feel alone. Like no one understands. I just wanted to try to explain," she murmured, turning back towards the headstone. "Not a lot of people know about Douglas, but they should. He has a lot to share."
She sweetly knelt down and placed the flowers over the grave. But before she stood back up, she patted the stone, lovingly. "Thanks, Douglas. You gave me the courage to follow my dreams. I appreciate it, buddy."
With that, Della rose and turned away without a word.
Just as she passed by me to go to the car, I mustered up the nerve to finally speak.
"Thank you... Douglas," I choked.
Della paused mid-step. I could feel her eyes on me. She was listening.
"Thank you for... ahem!" I rubbed my neck nervously. This was so uncomfortable. "Thanks for doing what you did. Um. You know, it takes serious guts to, uh... to leave home. To wonder off on your own. Especially when no one else thinks you should."
Della was listening intently. I knew it. I didn't look away from Douglas' final resting place. But I could clearly visualize her figure standing directly behind me, her shining eyes boring intensely into my skull.
"I'm sure you probably felt lonely," I continued, relaxing a little. "I mean, you were a camel in a camp full of horses and humans. You were obviously different. But let me tell you... a good friend of mine has taught me just recently that being different isn't always a bad thing."
My heart felt like it was trying to break through my chest, but I kept going.
"As a matter of fact, it's our differences that make us special. So... what I'm trying to say is—thank you for being brave. You inspired my friend to do what she does, and through that, you've inspired me. You're awesome, man. Rest in peace, I guess."
After a moment of silence, I turned around to face Della. My heart sank.
She was crying again.
"D-Della, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—" I stammered.
But I didn't get the chance to finish. Della cut me off by closing the gap between us and wrapping her arms around me, tightly.
For a moment, I didn't hug her back. I was too shocked to do anything but stand there clumsily with my jaw hanging open. However, as Della squeezed my ribcage even tighter, and I felt her tremble against me, a warmth melted over me. And when that warmth had settled, I finally wrapped my arms firmly around Della Rae in a secure embrace.
My heart thumped against her head, and I desperately hoped she didn't notice how it was beating faster than it should have. Not that it really mattered much anyway. But still...
Della sniffled into my teeshirt, snuggling in closer to my chest. I relaxed a bit more and rested my chin on her head.
Her hair smelled distinctly like vanilla and lavender, mixed with sunsets and ocean water.
"Let's get out of here," I finally whispered.
The sun had finally set.
••••••••••••
Hello, lovely people! I hope you enjoyed this new chapter of Polaroids and Postcards! I know I enjoyed writing it. By the way, in case you haven't heard me screaming about it already, P+P made the Wattpad Featured List!!! *squeals* I'm still so very happy that this happened & I just want to say a major WELCOME and HELLO to all of the new readers who have joined this journey. Love you guys! <3
~ Any thoughts on this chapter?
~ What did you think of this mini plot-twist? People seemed to be worried last time. Lol!
~ Jason & Della are certainly changing, are they not?
~ Just FYI, the story of Douglas the Camel is ACTUALLY real & you should totally go look him up at some point.
{Be sure to vote, comment, share, and put this book in your reading lists! It helps me out tremendously & helps other people find my story! The more readers, the merrier!}