Okay-I'll admit one thing. Learning how to be a ninja was actually, like, crazy cool. The sky was pretty much the limit with techniques and other various specialties, and if you were good at moulding and balancing your chakra output appropriately you were guaranteed to be a success. With the proper guidance, of course.
Learning about Konoha's and the Ninja World's history was actually interesting, too. Everything was so much more in-depth than what was briefly given in the manga and for a passing moment-but only, like, one teeny-tiny second-I actually thought that maybe I did want to try for the rank of genin. Given my lineage and my current level of intelligence (even despite my bad handle on the local language), it would probably be cake. Maybe I actually could keep up with Shisui and Itachi instead of hanging back on the sidelines, and end up doing something that would make Satoshi and Emiko proud.
But, unfortunately, laziness and unwillingness that could give Shikamaru a run for his money won out in the end and the idea no longer sounded quite so appealing.
Nah. It just wasn't the life for me.
Plus, my classmates were all beyond annoying and they tried to actually become friends with me. I would have skipped classes if I had the option to do so, but the first time I did it and succeeded, Emiko immediately found out and made me de-weed the garden again. After yelling my ear off.
I didn't have many options left. So, to keep the kids off my back, I took to chasing them all around outside during recess while making ultra-threatening, slobbery kissy-faces. They were mortified.
"Run! It's Cootie Rika!"
When one shrieked it, they all scattered.
In my class year, there were about five civilian or clanless kids, a Hyuuga, three unidentifiable Uchiha cousins, a couple of Naras, and a Yamanaka or two, going by clan crests and appearances. No interesting canon characters at all, unfortunately. I really would have liked to traumatize some, if only just a little.
And you know what? I was really good at cornering them all and smacking kisses right on their fat little cheeks.
It earned me the reputation of creepy cootie-girl Rika and three hours of time-out in the corner during lessons, but it was totally worth it. They never bothered me again. Not for a while, at least. I mean, kids tended to wander back to things like moths to a flame.
"Rika, what did you do now?"
Naturally, word got out to Shisui and he brought up the topic while we were walking back to the clan district after school. We walked together to and from, just like Emiko said we could, and Itachi would be joining us sooner or later-and it could very well end up being Itachi and I alone walking together if Shisui graduated soon. How awkward.
Unlike Shisui, I hadn't really had the chance to interact with Itachi much yet aside from the time when the council threw Fugaku a congratulatory celebration for becoming the new leader and pretty much the whole neighborhood was invited. Didn't get much of an impression from the kid other than we were practically polar opposites, but I'd already known that much.
Wonder how he'd react to being kissed on the cheek.
"I didn't do 'nything, Shisui," I grinned, nudging at an abandoned tin can sitting in the road with my shoe as we walked.
"I really doubt that. I'm pretty sure Cootie Rika has to be you," he said pointedly. "There's not another Rika in the school." Quick to catch on, as always-didn't I mention he was smart? I kicked the can towards him and he intercepted it, momentarily distracted, but not distracted enough to just let the subject go. "Going around k-kissing your classmates isn't a good way to make friends, you know. I mean, would you like it if someone did that to you?"
He passed the can back in my direction and I stopped, stepping on it to keep it from moving, then rolled my eyes. "Ha, who needs friends? Am fine without 'em. Plus, 's not like anyone'd have the guts to do the same to me. They're all babies. You're a baby, Shisui." I pushed my foot against the can, rolling it back at him. When it rolled and clanked past him and he didn't make any move to catch it, I knew I'd said the wrong thing.
Shisui had stopped in the middle of the road just a few paces back and there was a confrontational vibe about him. His arms were crossed, his brow was furrowed and his lips were set in a frowny little pout. Oh, and he was glaring-it was the first time I'd seen him so upset, since he usually fretted and worried instead. Sometimes I forgot he actually was a little kid who could have his ego bruised.
"I'm not a baby, Rika."
"Coulda fooled me."
"Take it back."
"No waaay." I waved my hand dismissively and stuck out my tongue.
"You know, you can get pretty arrogant sometimes, Rika." Now, he set his hands on his hips. "I think you need some payback." Slowly, his stern expression brightened into a mischievous grin. "Like, a taste of your own medicine!"
"No way, you're not gonna!" I put my hands on my hips, too, and stared him down, just daring him to call his bluff. Trying to teach me a lesson, was he? Well, so could I.
"You bet I am! Watch out, Rika, here comes Cootie Shisui!" And with that, he lunged for me while making an exaggerated kissy-face.
"That-that doesn't even make sense!" I backpedaled away just in time and then prepared to turn tail and run. I remembered a little too late that this was the guy who'd later be known as Shisui of the Body Flicker-I just hoped he wasn't fast enough to catch me now. "Don't try it!"
"Oh? You scared? Just who's the baby now, huh?"
"I ain't scared of nothin'! I just don't want your gross germs!"
He made another grab for me but missed (only because I half-tripped in an attempt to escape), and then the chase was on. And damn it all if he wasn't fast, too. My stubby legs could barely work fast enough to keep me in the lead.
"I'm serious! Stop it! Gonna tell Uncle Kou on you!" I yelled back as he tailed me across one of the bridges over the Naka River. If he kept it up I'd push him into the damn thing. Oh, wait-on second thought, that was a bit too cruel.
"Just what are you gonna tell him?"
"That you're an idiot!" When there wasn't a response, I got really uneasy. And, when I glanced back, I found out he was gone. Gone! Just like that! No way, no way, there's no way he knew how to use the Body Flicker technique already, was there? At only seven?
I halted in my tracks, and the moment I did, it was a big mistake-just what he wanted and I fell right for it.
Not even a second later I was ambushed, grabbed around the sides and hoisted into the air, then spun around in a dizzy circle before being let go way too suddenly. I stumbled on my feet and toppled over onto the ground, face-first, while that moron laughed and giggled at my misfortune.
"I was only kidding, Rika. Here."
When I looked up, his hand was held out towards me to help me up-but the look on his face when his eyes met mine was anything but amused. He looked suddenly horrified, pale as a ghost and I had no idea why until I felt a sticky warmth drip down over my mouth from my nose and then splat grossly on the ground. Shisui's hand faltered before he pulled it back and began to frantically search his pockets for something-probably a tissue or handkerchief. Oh, he was sweating. Emiko wouldn't be happy that I got hurt under his watch, nope.
In a way, payback was sweet.
I grinned despite my bloody nose. "You're screwed!"
"Don't-don't say that, Rika!" Finally, he found a little square cloth of material and quickly held it up against my face before helping me up and rushing the both of us home.
For once, I wasn't the one who got yelled at.
Satoshi never did give up on teaching me all of the clan's amazing fire jutsus. But, instead of taking it on himself, he graciously allowed Uncle Kou to lend a hand since he was in the middle of teaching Shisui the techniques as well. Two birds with one stone, or something.
Whatever his intention was, it was a huge pain for me.
Uncle Kou was... well, there's no light way to say it. He was weird. Loud and exuberant for an Uchiha-which was really saying something since mostly everyone was reserved and traditional, but every family had its black sheep-and super doting towards both his son and me. But, since our families were so close (we literally lived next door to each other), Shisui and I may as well have had three parents. In a way, since Kou was his only living caretaker, Emiko could be considered his mom because the whole family was super-involved in child-rearing. In fact, the entire neighborhood took care of everybody in it and all the children were sort of raised by everyone, to an extent. Even me, but I was super unpopular and most of the adults did their best to stay away from me and keep their kids out of my range of influence. On the flipside, Shisui was a constant presence because Satoshi and Emiko thought his upright behavior would somehow influence me.
No luck there.
Kou, like Shisui and Emiko, had that sort of soft, fluffy hair that originated from Kagami, but the man wore his long and unruly and-unbrushed, I was sure, to where it made him look like a kind of maniac in a damn-near Madara-esque way. But it fit his image.
I guess I was pretty lucky to have inherited the straighter kind of Uchiha hair from Satoshi, even if it still had a mind of its own.
But, hair aside, I wondered just how Shisui turned out to be such a well-mannered kid when his dad was so wild. There was barely ever a time when Kou wasn't smiling or grinning or cracking a joke, bragging-I was pretty sure he was drunk a good deal of the time, too, because I'd seen Satoshi (who, despite their one-sided competitions, was actually like a blood brother to him) half-dragging, half-carrying him home at night a few times before-and he was even beyond excited when he had to handle teaching two little kids how to play with fire.
Overall, he was pretty much like an overgrown child.
Actually, Shisui was probably so responsible because he had to be. And Emiko was probably the way she was because of her brother, too.
...I wondered if people ever thought Kou might have been my real dad and Shisui and I got switched when we were young, or something.
"Hey, hey, kids, you watching? This is the clan's renowned Grand Fireball jutsu-you're watching, right?" Kou cast me and Shisui a quick glance to check, for the third time, that we were in fact paying him our complete attention, and, once he was positively sure he had an audience, he swiftly ran through the six hand seals Satoshi had been teaching me before breathing in deeply and then exhaling a blazing stream of flames that rolled into a large sphere, bright enough to bask the entire, dusky forest clearing in a warm, hot light.
Damn it all if it wasn't impressive-not even Satoshi could produce one that looked that awesome. It was like a tiny star!
"Whoa! Uncle Kou, you're on fire!" I couldn't properly convey my astonishment into words with my limited vocabulary, so I had to settle for an odd phrase. But he accepted the praise without questioning it.
"I know, right?" He crouched down beside me and Shisui and set his hands on top of our heads to (roughly, but fondly) ruffle our hair. "So, who wants to give it a whirl first?"
After being released from the vertigo-inducing gesture that left us both with crazy bedhead, I pressed my hands on Shisui's back and pushed him forwards. "Shisui does!"
"Aw, come on, Rika...shouldn't it be ladies first?" He glanced over his shoulder sheepishly, and for a moment I wondered if he was shy. I'd never seen him in ninja-mode before and he'd never shown me what he learned during his training-I never thought it was anything strange, before, but the fact that he was so reluctant was a little adorable.
"Not a lady. I'm six."
Didn't mean I would let him have his way, though.
"But-"
Kou quickly intervened. "Here's an idea. Why don't you both show me your hand seals? Whoever has the best ones can go first. Everybody wins!"
Turned out I'd actually become better at switching between hand seals than cousin dearest from my numerous attempts to show-up Satoshi. Kou even had to correct him on a couple. No wonder he was embarrassed. He was barely trying! Guess he was still a year or so away from being one of the most talented members of the clan.
"Rika, then! Satoshi said he's been training you. Have you tried this before? "
"Only once. Not allowed to use any flames in the house. Or near the house. Or in the neighborhood."
For a minute, Kou actually looked caught off-guard, and frowned with uncertainty. But that didn't last long and he was back to his usual hyperness, grinning maybe a bit too mischievously. "Ah...well! That's why we're out here in the forest away from trees and buildings so nothing will catch fire! So, don't hold back, alright? Give it your best shot!"
"'Kay, Uncle Kou."
The formulation of fire-natured jutsus was trippy. When the hand seals were performed correctly and chakra was moulded properly, a warm, searing sensation coiled upwards from the chest where the chakra circuits originated and rose to the mouth, where it would exit as a burning flame once it mixed with the great amount of inhaled oxygen. So, with the development of a chakra circuit, people in this world were able to create fire from within the body and spit it out at enemies, like mini-dragons.
Weird as hell, I tell you.
"Here I go!" I twisted my fingers through the six required hand seals and gulped in a huge lungful of air before exhaling it all out quickly with a whoosh.
It burned. It was hot hot hot-so, so, almost painfully hot, that I was sure it cracked the skin around my mouth and dried out my lips but it was so damn liberating. It was big and bright and the flames swirled around so intensely before they swelled into an over-sized balloon of a fireball that set the night ablaze.
I was pretty sure this was what it felt like to be a mini-dragon. I could take on the world with it! No wonder Uchihas were so arrogant and proud.
Once my lungs were emptied and the fire extinguished itself, I saw that the grass beneath the technique was slightly charred. The first time I tried, under Satoshi's supervision, I hadn't made nearly as much progress. Probably because I'd been doing my best to irritate him and get him to just give up, not giving it my all.
"Whoaaa!"
Shisui and Kou clapped and cheered after the flames died away.
"Atta girl, Rika! See, it's not so hard, you're a natural!"
"Ha, not really." I didn't want to hear that.
"Modesty, modesty," the man dismissed, shaking his head. Then he clapped his son on the shoulder. "You next, Shisui. Show us what ya got."
Shisui's Grand Fireball wasn't nearly as impressive as mine (I swear that wasn't a brag), and it was clear as day on his face that he was disappointed-but in the fading flicker of flames, I thought I could detect a hint of jealousy, too. It was gone so fast I couldn't be sure.
It made me uneasy. Would he start to consider me a rival, if this kept up? I didn't want to be a benchmark for Shisui. I didn't want things to get all competitive between us like it was with our dads. For his sake, I'd intentionally dumb myself down and keep it that way, because hanging out with him just as a friend and not a rival was fun. I didn't really have anyone else my age that I could handle, and if he left, things would get boring.
...And he wouldn't get me out of trouble anymore.
"Good job, son!" Even if he was slightly crazy, Kou was fair with his praise. He smacked his son on the back and ruffled his hair again before looking over the both of us critically. "Now, why don't you both try again? Practice never killed anyone."
Almost as soon as he said them, the man had to swallow his words.
I ended up setting the trees on fire.