Push everyone away,
Lock the door.
Angry music in the background,
As you lie, sobbing on the floor.
Choke down the beer,
And try to forget.
You want so badly to pull out a blade,
And make red marks on your skin.
But you know you can't,
Not yet.
Your mother checks you,
Everywhere now.
You figure you had it coming,
But now it's a waiting game,
Fighting the urges,
Wanting to die.
Dressing in all black,
eyeliner thick around your eyes.
Nails painted black to match your lungs,
As you light another cigarette.
You want to do it now,
But you can't bear the thought of your mother in tears.
So you smoke the cigarettes, and drink another beer.
Maybe if you're lucky, you'll be dead by the time you turn 21.
You pull yourself up from the floor,
Glance in the mirror,
See the makeup streaked down your face.
You turn off the light,
And crawl into bed.
But you don't go to sleep,
Because of the demons in your head.
They terrorize you,
As you lie awake.
You want to die,
You wish you could break.
You're all alone,
Why can't you bleed,
Let out the pain,
It's all you need.
But you keep holding on,
Because you have to be strong.
Searching for some way to let out the pain.
Fighting the suicide,
Day by day.