Soulless Chapter 4:
Tornadoes and Feelings
~♛♛♛~
I touched my chest lightly, wala na ang kakaibang pagkabog nito. It backs to be normal, but somehow it feels so wronged.
I tried to focus my eyes on the white board.
The professor seemed to be busy teaching us. Bakasyon pero ang paaralan ay hindi tumitigil sa pagtuturo. Why they didn't get tired? It is because we're vampires and vampires can live long. Wala kaming pakialam sa oras. We can do whatever we want as long as we want to.
Mahirap intindihin pero ganoon ang buhay namin. Matagal at... Nakakapagod.
Marami siyang isinusulat ngunit batid ko na wala rito ang isip ko. Naglalakbay sa kung saang dako.
Naglalakbay sa oras na hawak niya ang kamay ko.
Alam kong may mali, ngunit hindi ko mahanap kung saan banda.
Dumiretso ako sa library ng matapos ang klase. I want to be busy so I'll get myself a thing to make me forget about it. And the books is the perfect cover for making me forget about him. Ngunit pagpasok sa loob ay sinalubong ako ng amoy ng isang lobo.
Hindi siya estudyante at hindi rin katiwala ng lugar bagkus ay isang utusan ng mga mag-aaral na may mataas na dugo. My schoolmates are making fun out of him, some are even disgusted with the smell of his blood. And from the corner I can see the librarian whose enjoying the show.
Sigurado akong nahuli siya ng lumera at pinarurusahan. Parusang habambuhay niyang dadanasin. And this wolf wasn't just here for cleaning. Narito siya para mawala ang mga makakating bampira na madalas naglilingkisan sa isang sulok o kung hindi naman ay para sa mga mag-aaral na walang magawa sa buhay. In short this wolf will be here for everyone's benefit. Wala siyang makukuhang kapalit dahil lahat ng gagawin niya ay para sa mga babaeng bampirang nais siyang gamitin.
Sa lugar kung saan ako ipinanganak ay iba ang batas. Wolf, witches and vampires can associate freely. Walang batas na nagbabawal. I hate that law, dahil iba ang tingin sa amin ng ibang bayan ngunit wala akong magagawa dahil ang mga ninuno ko mismo ang bumuo ng batas na iyon and the only way to change it, is to become the Queen of Harilia ngunit matatagalan pa iyon, and somehow I am feared. Kusang pumasok ang imahe ni Dylan ng makita ko ang laruan nilang lobo.
But for some unknown reason, I can't find the fondness on his smell. It is disgusting! Hindi ko gusto ang amoy ng kaniyang dugo kung kaya't imbes na tumuloy ay muli akong lumabas.
I closed my eyes tightly, not because of the sun's light but because of the frustration inside me.
I am smart at alam ko kung ano ang nararamdaman ko, but this is wrong. I should stop thinking about him. I should stop this nonsense.
Dumiretso ako sa aking silid upang mapag-isa. A piece of alone time in my own room would be a good help to calm my senses but to no reason, I can't find it today dahil pagbukas ko pa lamang ng pinto ay bumungad na sa akin ang mukha ni Athalia. My dear cousin on my mother side, slash the crazy bitch.
"You don't miss me? Ouch! Ang sama talaga ng ugali mo pinsan " she even acted like it really hurts her but her lips are on contrary, it is smiling like she was doing a frank again.
Stupid Elise, you forgot that she's a traveller. At tiyak na ipinadala siya upang sunduin ako.
"Umuwi ka na sa susunod na taon pa ako uuwi"
I tried to ignore her presence as I sat on my study table. I know that her eyes are watching me, more on laughing at me.
Athalia, my dear crazy cousin, she sometimes do frank and stupid act whenever she wants and I accept the fact that I will hate her for that. Kaya niyang gawin ang lahat ng hindi nahuhusgahan ng kahit sino. She is the only daughter of our seer. A council who can see the future. Ikatlo sa pinakamataas na posisyon maliban sa aking ama at kay Auntie Mella. But for some reason Athalia don't mind it.
Wala siya pakialam sa sistema, sa batas at sa mga matang nakabantay sa kaniya. She do whatever that makes her feels good. Na hindi ko kaya.
Why? It is because I am Eloisa Selestina.
But Athalia and his father are the only piece for me that are close to name as my family. Being with them is not poisonous, ang kaniyang ama ang palaging nariyan kapag kailangan ng reresolba sa problemang nagagawa namin ni Athalia. He even scold us if it needed, not like her sister- the Queen who just speaks whenever's my father's involve.
Doon lang siya magsasalita, doon lang niya ako mapapansin.
"Again? Uhm, like what I expected. Ang tamad mong umuwi, hindi ka naman paglalakarin"
I sighed after she playfully say it.
Alam kong alam niya ang dahilan but she choose to just make this conversation as light as a feather.
"Sige ako na ang mag hahanda ng karwaheng sasakyan mo kamahalan" prisenta niya na parang iyon talaga ang dapat na maging solusyon.
Tumaas ang kilay ko ngunit hindi ko siya nilingon.
"You are a traveller Athalia and the last time I check you don't still know how to prepare anything for me."
She laugh and agreed to what I said.
"Of course I won't prepare anything for you, I would actually love to let you run from here to Harilia. Mas masaya iyon tingnan"
"As if I would let you do that."
"Oh please your highness, kahit isang beses lang hayaan mo naman akong maging masaya. But running alone won't be fun, maybe I could join you." binulong niya ang huli at tiyak ko na nahiga na siya sa kama ko. I check the ambiance outside and see that the sun are still on top. Tanghali na and this is the time for her to nap.
Silence filled us again and all I can hear is her breath as she sleep.
Napahinto ako sa pagsusulat at wala sa sariling tinitigan ang limang letra na sa tingin ko ay pangalan niya.
Dylan
I traced his name with the tip of my pen then suddenly I hear the voice inside my head whispering the word stop and focus.
I torn that piece where his name is written and crumpled it into a ball then throw it on the trashcan.
I closed my eyes and continue to let that two word invade my mind.
Yes, I should stop and focus on what I am aiming for.
Stop and focus Elise.
Stop and focus.