Three years ago.
"So."
Great. Just great, I thought, gritting my teeth. I'd been stuck on the same paragraph for the last five minutes or so and just when I was almost finished, I got distracted, yet again. Now I had to start over.
This had better be good.
I closed my history textbook, leaving a pencil between the pages to hold my place. I waited. And waited. Moments passed, and still, nothing. I turned my head sideways to glare at the boy who had broken my concentration.
He just sat there, some feet away, on the opposite end of the tartan couch where I also sat. He was leaning back, face blank, one arm draped over the back pillow between us. He looked completely at rest, except for the bouncy right knee and the hand with the TV remote that was changing channels every split-second or so.
I frowned. What he was doing was bound to give him a seizure once of these days, not to mention got on my nerves, but he should be able to do whatever he wanted in his own living room. I rolled my eyes and flipped my book open once more.
"So," he said again at the exact moment I had started to read.
An unearthly noise escaped from within me. I lunged at the boy, snatched the remote out of his hands, and turned off the TV so I would have his full attention.
"Spit it out, Seth." I sat back down, this time sideways, with my lower back against the couch arm and my bare feet tucked underneath me.
He turned to me, one eyebrow lifted. "You know anything about a party on Saturday?"
I tilted my head and gave him a look that said, duh. Did he even have to ask? "Well, it's Alex's party."
"Oh, right. You two are friends." The words were drawled in a calculated fashion and the fake sheepish smile that followed didn't fool me one bit, either.
This was an understatement and he knew it. I'd only known Alex a couple of years but we had hit it off the moment we met and she quickly became one of only two people I called my best friends.
Seth was the other. At least, he was the closest I had to one before he moved away a few years ago, right in the middle of a school year without so much as a word.
It was just a little before Alex arrived in town. His family went through some stuff—divorce, mainly—and he was gone for a while until very recently, when everything was sorted out and all the necessary proceedings were finalized. Now he was back. For good. Just in time for eighth grade.
His reappearance had been so out-of-the-blue that it didn't even occur to me it could be him when I first saw him again. I was walking to the bus stop on the first day of school when I spotted him from afar. He had headphones on and was occasionally drumming on his pants legs. He was also sitting on the sidewalk in front of a vacant lot on my street, where I used to see Seth all the time.
Yeah, and I still thought he was just some random kid. What an idiot.
Maybe the fact that he didn't look like the way he did now when he left was what threw me off. He was taller than I remembered, not really skinnier but the extra height helped balance out the extra pounds in a rather stunning way.
My actual first thought when I saw him came out a hushed, drawn out damn son.
But the real stunner was that he was waiting for me so we could take the bus to school together. Like this was something we had talked about—when I hadn't seen him in years. It felt surreal, but he was there again the next day. And the next one. And the next.
It was now a few weeks into the term and Seth and I were hanging out on a regular basis. Maybe more than we ever did when we were younger. Everything was back to normal and all was right with the world.
It was like he never left, most days.
"Get to the point, Seth."
"'Kay, I just have a few questions about Saturday."
"Ugh." I threw my head back and groaned. "Give me a break."
Seth scowled. "You just said—"
"I know!" I said, wailing. I grabbed one of the tan throw pillows they had lying around and repeatedly though ineffectively tried to bash my face in with it, just to avoid the conversation. "But that was all anybody ever talked to me about all day. I came here to do homework, not for more girl talk."
"Think about what you just said for a moment. Adrian." Seth huffed, took the pillow from my hands and set it on the empty seat cushion between us. "You know there's a reason it's called homework, right?"
Huh. I thought girl talk would be the part he had a problem with.
I shrugged. "Yeah, but I feel so much smarter just sitting next to you."
"Oh." Seth said, finally, with a nod. After a beat, his face soured. "Hey."
I grinned. That might have sounded mean, but it was no meaner than the things he'd say about, say, my musical ability for example.
"J/K," I assured him, chuckling.
The truth was, tensions were at an all-time high at my house. It was my sister's senior year of high school, the last home stretch.
Who knew getting top college acceptance letters by the truckload and being a shoo-in for class valedictorian could be so physically and emotionally draining for both the student and her mother? Certainly not this girl, who would never have to worry about those kinds of problems, anyway.
I knew well enough to stay out of their way, and I think maybe my dad had the same idea. He'd always worked long hours, but lately it seemed like he was never home.
So, anyway here I was, where I wouldn't be disrupting anyone's important business. Most days, it was just Seth and his younger sister, at his house. When his parents' marriage started going south, his mom started teaching full time at a music school in town. (Having me as her only paying student was neither personally gratifying nor profitable, I supposed.) She taught mostly kids so her work schedule lasted long after our school hours.
"What was your question?" I prompted. Seth drew in a breath but before he could say anything, I spoke again, still laughing. "Wait, you're not gonna prance around in different outfits and make me choose what you'll wear to the party, are you? Because I really can't take doing that again."
Seth looked ready to strangle me, which just made me laugh even harder. "Forget it," he said, grumbling. He then got up and stormed off, in the direction of the kitchen.
"I'll stop!" I called after him, trying my best not to laugh anymore. No response. "I'll answer all questions! Truthfully and without judgment!"
"Hah!"
It was my turn to frown. When he didn't return right away, I rolled my eyes and started shoving my books and other stuff into my backpack. Obviously, I wasn't gonna get any more studying done tonight, in this house or anywhere else.
I was debating whether to follow Seth into the kitchen so I could yell at him to stop being a goddamn diva or just go home. Before I could decide or finish putting stuff away, he reemerged, munching on Goldfish crackers, of all things, and drinking a Coke. He brought a Coke for me as well.
Guess he was taking a different approach. I took the Coke and set it on the coffee table, but passed on the Goldfish when he also held that toward me.
Still chewing, he perched sideways on the couch arm on his side, and then turned to face me, so that both his feet were on the seat cushion.
I let out an exasperated breath; he still had his shoes on.
Leaning forward, he propped his elbows on his knees and rested his chin on his clasped hands. "So."
"I swear to God, if you say that word one more time..." I trailed off and let my murderous glare finish the threat without another word.
"Okay." He placed his snacks on the coffee table and took a breath, looking thoughtful. "I heard her last party got pretty wild . . . ."
My eyebrows furrowed, thinking back on the event mentioned. "I guess, for a seventh grade party."
It was nothing, however, compared to some of the high school parties I had witnessed and taken part in as Alex's (reluctant) plus one.
"No grownups..." Seth continued.
"One grownup." Technically. Sonja, Alex's wild party girl au pair from Europe who was only relaxed when it came to her childcare duties. She was gorgeous, too. I guess Alex sort of considered her as a role model.
"Fine. One grownup, and lots of making out."
I made a face and scoffed. "Who have you been talking to?"
"Ethan."
"Oh," I said, more quietly. I paused, relaxing my shoulders. I reached for the Coke and popped the tab. The bubbles tickled my nose and made my eyes water but cooled me down. "Okay. Ethan said that? I guess it's true...in his case."
Ethan Scott, another childhood friend of ours, didn't go to as many parties as the average kid in our class, but when he did, he left a lasting impression, at least on the girls. He'd be the main topic of conversation for many days after, like some kind of reverse Cinderella.
"Ethan?" Seth looked impressed when I nodded but his expression quickly turned serious. "So, no spin the bottle?"
"No, there was."
"Did you play?"
"Um."
"Did you?"
"I haven't been banned for life yet, have I?" I answered, deadpan. He snorted, and I, feeling defensive, widened my eyes at him. "Don't laugh. It's Alex's favorite party game and therefore, serious business."
He snorted again, more loudly and seemingly more deliberate. "So who'd you kiss?"
"Ugh! Who even remembers anymore?" I said, annoyed, and with a dismissive wave of my hand. With that, I reached for the Coke again and took a long swig to punctuate the end of this conversation. Seth continued to look at me, head tilted, that I felt compelled to say, "It's. . . no one you know. Nobody important."
"If you say so," he said, to my momentary relief, until he spoke again. "Think we'll get to play this Saturday?"
"Almost definitely." I couldn't help the sound of disgust that escaped my lips next. I mean, it was great that my old friends and my new ones had started to meld together, but it seemed like the bar was set pretty low on this mixed company's idea of fun.
Like, why couldn't we have a good old-fashioned scavenger hunt at these parties once in a while, just to shake things up? Or play flashlight tag?
Seth, on the other hand, seemed totally on board with the rest of them—the ultimate betrayal. He was supposed to be on my side. His face was alight, and I could practically see the waves of energy radiating off him.
"Ew. You're such a perv," I said, with a look of disapproval on my face. My hands involuntarily went to my hips. "You actually like spin the bottle?"
"What? No," he said, scoffing, and then, "I don't know." At this, he looked away, mumbling something I could just barely make out: I'veneverplayeditbefore.
I gave a surprised laugh, which, in turn, made the normally faint hint of color in Seth's cheeks deepen. I tried to cover it with a throat-clearing.
"Not a thing at your other school?" And if so, how soon can I transfer?
The look on Seth's face gave me pause, and I winced. Somehow, that didn't seem like the right thing to say, either. He did have other, bigger concerns while he was there.
"I just think it's about time, you know?" He was quiet for a while after this. When he spoke again, he sounded less embarrassed than determined. "I already missed out on so much."
I felt lousy, hearing that. Here I was, complaining about stupid parties, along with the necessary preparations that came with them, not once stopping to think that for a lot of people, it was a nice, welcome break from reality. I needed to get over myself.
"Well, you'll get your chance this Saturday," I said, with newfound determination to not take things too seriously and ruin anyone's fun. "Count on it."
It wasn't like I would rather stay at home, right?
"Yeah?" His goofy grin was back, lifting my spirits, as well. He pushed himself off the arm, unceremoniously landing next to me, and wiggled his eyebrows. "Any tips?"
"You're such a dork." I laughed, glad that he still was, even after everything that had happened and though he didn't really look like one anymore. "Maybe you can practice."
Except for his eyes that went wide, Seth seemed frozen in place at my advice. Very slowly, he straightened up, blinked a couple of times and stared at me in disbelief.
"Seriously?" His voice might have caught but it was hard to tell; it came out barely a whisper. "Now?"
At first, I didn't know what he meant, but a second later my eyes bugged out, too. That totally came out wrong! I was about to tell him, but our eyes locked, and the way he stared . . . .
"Sure," I said, also whispering. He leaned forward, ever so slowly, and all of a sudden, it seemed impossible to hold his warm brown gaze and breathe at the same time.
It shouldn't be a hard choice to make. Only one of those things meant the difference between life and death. Right?
Seth's eyes fluttered shut, making it unnecessary to choose. At that very instant, my heartbeat slowed, and oxygen returned to my brain, clearing my thoughts. Seth's face and mine were millimeters from each other by this time—definitely too close for comfort.
Feeling frantic, I reached for the nearest throw pillow and smushed it into Seth's face at the last possible second.
"Here. Knock yourself out," I told him, so breathlessly giddy with relief that I collapsed in a fit of giggles when I saw his dazed expression.
***
A/N: IDEK what I'm doing anymore. Also this will have a second part. Stay tuned.