Starr
"Open this door right now!"
I didn't mind the loud banging on the door and adjust the headphone as I raise the sound a bit more. Kinuha ko ang picture ng sunset on top of the pile of landscape photos na kinunan ko last weekend. Kakadevelop ko pa nga lang kanina. I'm so fond of taking photos. With this, I can escape from the reality that I have a worthless life.
Naramdaman ko ang bahagyang pagtahimik sa labas. Mukhang napagod na rin sya sa pagsira sa pinto ng kwarto na karugtong ng studio ko. Hindi ko na nga maalala when was the last time this kind of scene happened with a devil who happens to be my mom as well. Nakalimutan ko na din kasi na may parents pa pala ko since ako lang naman mag-isa lagi sa mansion.
"I know you can hear me out there and yet you act as if you don't!!" bungad nya ng makapasok. I'm sure naduwag na naman sa kanya ang mga walang kwenta kong katulong.
"I can absolutely hear you even with these headphones in max you know?"
"So you're really pushing me huh?!" her composure is already slipping as she grab the headsets and pull it down abruptly to my shoulders.
"Can you come back like next year for this stupid argument? I'm kinda busy in here. See?"
"Busy with what?? With that crap?! Give me that!"
"What do you think you're doing?!"
My voice hissed as I glare at her nang itapon nya sa trash bin lahat ng photos ko matapos nyang punitin. Talagang bumalik sya dito para lang inisin ako? Sana di na sya umuwi kahit kelan. Nung isang araw lang sya nakauwi ng Pilipinas pero sagad na ang pasensya ko sa kanya kaya ayokong magbabad dito sa mansion.
"I'm disposing what seems to be trash. I told you to stop pursuing useless hobbies! You should focus on our business! BUSINESS!! You should be graduated by now but look at you! You're still worthless and making me mad every time I see you! If only we have a choice, we won't let you handle our company!"
I used to be a crybaby back then. How I used to cry over simple things or whenever I wasn't able to get what I want. Yeah I'm a brat. But I believe that people change either for the better or for the worst. Though I'm not sure if not being a crybaby anymore seems to be better or having no emotion at all made me become worst.
"Oh I have a better idea. Why not give your beloved company to charity? Dun ka naman magaling diba? Sa ibang tao?"
"How dare you talk to me like that, Amarie?! You're making me lose my patience!"
Amarie. Ah. I really hate that part of my name. Maybe because I hate the person who solely calls me that way. Kaya naman Starr ang ginagamit kong pangalan. I hate everything that reminds me of her.
"You already did like five minutes ago?" I respond sarcastically.
"I'm so pissed off with your attitude, Amarie! You should be graduated by now but because of your countless troubles hindi ka na nakagraduate! I'm warning you, pag di ka pa nagtino ngayon you know where you'll end up to" my jaw immediately tightened.
That you know where you'll end up to phrase might be the last thing I dare to hear from this devil. I can still clearly remember the last time she used that phrase to me.
A year ago pinatapon nya ko sa Japan ng walang kapera pera, walang kakilala, walang kaibigan at wala akong maintindihan na kahit ano. I almost called myself a beggar for three months dahil lang na-kickout ako sa school ng butasin ko ang gulong ng kotse ng pervert naming dean just to teach him a lesson. If I know that he got amazing connections, sana pinag-overnight ko man lang sya sa ospital.
"Amarie are you listening??"
"I do have two ears okay?"
"Good. You only have less than a month left. You should put your best behavior in DVU"
"What?"
"I thought you're listening?"
"Tss"
"As I was saying, you'll be studying in Dela Vega University and this will be the last, Amarie. Focus on your studies and nothing else. If you don't graduate by the end of the school year, you know what will happen. How do you like India this time? What do you think?"
F#ck I really hate India. Mas masahol pa sa pagkasuklam ko sa Japan. Basta ayoko sa bansang yun, ayoko ng mga pagkain dun, ayoko sa mga tao dun basta ayoko sa lugar na yun. PERIOD.
"Will you stop smirking? You look stupid"
"I'll let that pass since I see that you agree with me this time. I hope this will be a great year for you, Amarie. Next time I see you--you should be graduated"
"Whatever"
This time nakangiti na syang lumabas ng studio ko samantalang ako naman gusto ko na syang ibitin ng patiwarik. She's always like that. Kapag importante o problema ang nagawa ko saka lang yan magpapakita. Tapos mawawala na naman sya na parang bula. So graduate na ko pag nakita ko sya ulit? Psh malamang kahit sa graduation ko hindi yan pupunta.
Lumabas na lang ako ng studio at wala na kong gagawin dun since she threw all my beloved pictures. Sino kaya ang bwisit saming dalawa? I threw my body on the queen size water bed, still totally frustrated and tired.
(tok tok tok)
Seriously?? Hindi na ba titigil ang mga to na istorbohin ako?? I was lying in here for like ten seconds pa lang tapos may istorbo na naman?? Tumalikod ako ng higa the closed my eyes.
(creak)
What the hell??
There it is again. I heard the cracking sound of my door and I'm starting to hate this sound right now.
"Miss? Sorry po sa pagpasok. May bisita po kasi kayo" napabalikwas ako ng bangon ng marinig ang katulong ko na nasa loob na ng kwarto ko.
"Sinabi ko bang come in?! How can you be so stupid samantalang ang tagal tagal mo na dito?!"
"M-Miss sorry po. Kasi--" nakayuko nyang sabi habang nakahawak sa laylayan ng uniform nya.
"Nakakain ba yan? Kung hindi nakakain yan dun mo sabihin yan sa parents mo!"
"P-Po?? Bakit naman po--"
"Why? Because from now on, wala ka ng trabaho. You're fired!"
"Pero Miss--" mangiyak ngiyak na sya sa harap ko pero naiirita ko sa kanya. Naiirita ko sa kahit sino ngayong araw! Aish! Panira ng araw.
"Get out now!" sigaw ko sa maid ko. Patakbo naman syang lumabas habang umiiyak. As if naman maaawa ako sa kanya.
"Starr! Ano ba!" napatingin ako sa may pinto kung sino ang walang modong sumisigaw sakin.
"Are you raising your voice inside my OWN room, Chase?" hindi na sya sumagot at lumabas ng kwarto ko.
"Pack your things tapos pumunta ka dito okay? Ako ng bahala sayo. Dun ka na sakin magtrabaho. Sorry nadamay ka pa tuloy"
"M-maraming salamat po, Sir Chaser. Kailangan ko po talaga ng trabaho"
"No prob. Kasalanan ko naman dahil pinilit kitang papasukin ako. Sige na ayusin mo na yung mga gamit mo"
Narinig ko lang naman sila dahil nakabukas ang pinto ng kwarto ko at nandyan lang sila near my doorframe. Napailing na lang ako bago kumuha ng stick at nagsindi ng sigarilyo.
"Will you stop that?" nakalapit na pala sya sakin at mabilis na naagaw ang nakasubo sa bibig kong stick at saka pinatay sa ashtray na nasa side table. Hindi pa sya nakontento at nagspray gamit ang mamahalin kong pabango na nasa dresser.
"Sinong may sabi sayong pakelaman mo yan?"
"Kesa naman amoy usok tong kwarto mo?"
"Wala ka ng pakelam dun. Don't you know how expensive that perfume is??"
Nagbalak pa ulit akong magsindi ng isa pa pero maagap nya ng nakuha ang buong pack pati ang lighter.
"What the hell is your problem??"
"Get a life will you??" tumayo na lang ako at naglakad patungo sa may veranda. I need some fresh air. "Bakit ba pati sakin mainit ang ulo mo?" dagdag nyang tanong.
"Because your face sucks. Plus, you always picked what I have already thrown out"
"I'm simply fixing things right out of all the wrong things you did, Starr"
"Nagsesermon na rin pala ang mga pari sa mga monster na gaya ko"
"Don't say that again, Starr" napabuntong hininga na lang ako. He never liked that idea whenever I call myself a monster.
"Bakit ka ba pumunta dito?"
"To ask you out?"
Binatukan ko sya na ikinatawa nya naman. For a moment, I felt envious on him having a good laugh as if that's the most natural thing to do. When was the last time I laughed or even smiled anyway? Hindi ko na matandaan.
"Let's go to your favorite place" sabi nya maya maya ng matapos syang tumawa ng tumawa.
"Bar? In broad daylight. Wow Chase"
"Not that. I mean your other favorite place" napakunot noo naman ako. "Tumawag kasi sakin si Astor eh. Free daw sya today. Ano? Punta tayo dun ngayon"
Nang marinig ko ang pangalan ni Astor, alam ko na ang place na sinasabi nya. Lagi nyang sinasabing favorite place ko daw but he's actually implying the opposite.
"No way. I told you, I hate that place"
"You keep saying you hate that place. Bakit ba kasi?"
"Bakit ba ang dami mong tanong?"
"Hah. Okay forget it. Gusto ko lang naman makita mo kong magpractice. I'm on hiatus since last year kaya naman gusto kong makita mo kung pano ko ilalampaso yung gagong ex mo"
Chase is actually a racer. Nag hiatus sya a year ago dahil kailangan nyang asikasuhin ang car business nila or else pasusunurin daw sya sa U.S. Since ayaw nya sa mga conditions, he decided to give up racing for the meantime.
"Kysler??"
"Yup. As if you have an ex other than him" he grinned. I opened my mouth to say something but in the end, wala akong nasabi. "I know you're still thinking of the best way to get even. If he lose, he'll be damn finished. This is it, Starr" napabuntong hininga na lang ako.
"I know you're an amazing racer, Chase. But to Kysler? You don't stand a chance"
"You called me amazing and yet I stand no chance? Aba mukhang bilib na bilib ka pa rin sa gagong ex mo ah!"
"That's not it and you know that. You went on hiatus plus he's the dirtiest racer ever. It's either you stop this plan or die"
"Kaya nga ako magppractice. I can make that happen if you come over during my practice. Kahit after class mo. Whenever you're free"
"No. Wala akong free time"
"Two weeks from now, ang tournament. I already arranged this thing with Astor last night. You're welcome during practice kung magbago ang isip mo"
"Chase, I said I'm not coming" napabuntong hininga na lang sya.
"Kung ayaw mo talaga, kahit sa mismong race na lang sana makapunta ka. I might be away from the nightlife starting today since I'm managing the business by day and practicing by night. I want you to be there, Starr. Send my regards to the girls"
He left my room leaving me thoughts na ayokong balikan. That past kept on haunting me kaya pinanindigan ko na lang ang ganitong klase ng buhay.