Notes: This chapter does include mentions of domestic violence and rape. This was the hardest chapter to write. If these are triggers for you, please forgo this chapter.
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I felt my hands start shaking and my heart start beating faster. "Jason. What are you doing here?" I took a step back and he followed.
"What am I doing here? I'm here for you, Sdyney. I know all about the man that's been staying here. See, I've been watching you for a while. I also know that he's gone, so you're all mine." He took another step toward me.
"Jason. Please. We haven't been together for almost a year. You can just turn around and go. No one will ever know you were here." He laughed.
"We haven't been together because you fucking left me. You left me, Sydney!" I was paralyzed in fear, my feet wouldn't move, even though my brain was screaming for them to. He grabbed me by my hair and yanked my head back. "Was I so bad, baby?" I cried out as his other hand grabbed my neck, slightly squeezing.
I shook my head. "I'm sorry." I would have said anything to get away from him.
"What's his name? Huh? The guy you've been letting touch you, fuck you." I shook my head. I didn't want him to know, I didn't want Ronnie to be touched. "I watched you, you left the window open. I sat right there and watched him fuck you." The first tear fell and he laughed. "Don't cry, Sydney. I'll fuck you just as good." I tried to get away, I struggled against him and he held my throat tighter, squeezing so I couldn't breath. "Stop fighting. You know I always win."
"Please, don't." I couldn't have him touch me, I couldn't go through that again. All I could think about was Ronnie and how much I loved him, how I should have went sooner like he asked me to. I kicked him as hard as I could and he momentarily let go of me. I ran, as fast as I could to the back door and clawed at the lock. I tried to open it as I heard him walking to me. Just as I turned the lock, he was on me again.
"You fucking bitch. I was decent to you. I gave you everything you ever wanted. And this is how you repay me. By letting some asshole between your legs. This is mine." He said as he forced his hand between my legs, rubbing me. "He's never going to touch you again when I'm through with you." He turned me around and his hand connected with my cheek. I fell down, the force so powerful.
He stood over me as I tried to get my barrings back. I held my face with my hand, tears welling in my eyes as he kicked me hard in my stomach, rendering me motionless. I cried out in pain and he smiled. He knelt down over me, pulling up my skirt and then ripping open my blouse. I tried to push him off of me, tried to roll away, but he was too strong.
"No, Jason!! STOP!!" I screamed as he bunched up my skirt around my hips and ripped my panties off. I was pushing on his shoulders, trying anything to get him off of me, when he grabbed me by my wrists and pulled them over my head.
"You're not going to win, Sydney. I'm going to have you." He held my wrists with one hand as he pulled himself out of his pants and slammed into me, over and over. All I could see was Ronnie, his face and his smile. Hearing him tell me he loves me. I concentrated on that, praying he would be done soon. "You feel so good. I missed you so much." I felt like I was going to be sick as he grunted in my ear, his breath on my neck.
By the time he was done, I had no tears left to cry. He got up and looked around. "You've done well for yourself, but you're coming home, tonight." I didn't say anything as I sat up trying to cover myself, noticing the blood coming from between my legs.
I heard the key in the lock and knew it was Michael. Jason heard it too as he moved to hide in the other room, leaving me sitting on the floor. "Syd. Let's go. Ronnie can't wait to see you." He looked up and saw me, his jaw dropping as Carrie walked in behind him. I tried to tell them Jason was there but no sound would come out.
"Oh my God, Syd!" Carrie ran over to me trying to cover me up. Just as Michael reached for his phone, Jason popped out with every intention of hurting him. Carrie screamed and Michael turned around grabbing Jason. They fought as Carrie called the police. I felt myself getting dizzy, my eyes closing and soon everything went dark.
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I heard voices as I laid there. "Ronnie will be here soon. He left as soon as he could." Michael I thought.
"She'll need him here, to help her get through this. She never said anything about it, I bet she didn't even know yet." I heard Carrie but had no idea what she was talking about.
"I'll bring him in as soon as he gets here." I heard the door click and I slowly opened my eyes to see Carrie sitting in the chair next to me.
"Oh, God, Syd. You're awake!" She smiled at me and I nodded. "Ronnie will be here soon honey." I shook my head.
"He can't come in. He can't see me like this, Carrie. Promise me you won't let him in." I was panicking, I just couldn't have him see this.
"Syd. He's going to go crazy if you don't let him in here. What am suppose to tell him?" Carrie looked worried. I knew she was right.
"Just tell him I don't want him in here, please, Carrie." She nodded.
"I need to tell you something, Syd. It might change your mind. The doctor said that when Jason kicked you, he caused you to have a miscarriage." I was stunned, there was no way I could have been pregnant.
"Carrie, that's crazy. I wasn't pregnant." Just then the door opened and the doctor walked in.
"How are you feeling, Sydney?" She looked over my bruises and shook her head.
"Sore, really sore." She nodded and wrote in the chart.
"That's to be expected. Your throat will be sore for a couple days. He bruised your trachea and you might have difficulty talking or swallowing. I also needed to inform you that as a result of the attack, you did have a miscarriage. We estimate that you were 5 weeks pregnant. Probably didn't even have symptoms of it yet. We are very sorry for your loss." She gave me some more pain medicine and walked out.
"Syd," Carrie started walking to me. I held my arms up and she stopped.
"Please. I just need to alone." She nodded and walked out. I laid my head back and closed my eyes as the tears fell. I had been pregnant, with Ronnie's baby and I didn't even know it. And now, it's just gone, just like that, because of me. I should never have gotten involved with him. I should have kept to myself like I planned. I had hurt so many people because of my carelessness. It wouldn't happen again.
I pressed the button to the nurse and she came right in. I gave her Brianna's name and number and asked her to call Bri and have her come. I also told her Ronnie, Carrie, and Michael were no longer allowed in my room. The nurse protested, but I wouldn't listen. I refused to put them through any more because of me.
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The next time I woke up, I heard his voice outside the door. "You don't understand. She's my girlfriend, she wouldn't barr me from seeing her." His voice was filled with hurt and I felt awful.
"I'm sorry sir. Her orders. You'll have to wait in the waiting room." She told him again.
"It was my baby she was pregnant with, doesn't that count for anything? I have to see her, I need to see her." I didn't move, I didn't breath.
"Like I said, sir, you'll have to wait over there." Then there was silence. I turned on my side and cried wishing I was someone else, someone worthy of him. I'm not at all, he'd move on and start a family with somsome else and be happy. That's all I wanted for him.
I turned as the door opened and Bri walked in. Ronnie was there in an instant. "Please, baby. Let me in. I need to see you. I love you so much, Syd. Please!" The door closed and Bri walked over to me, and I broke down.
"Sydney. Fuck, what did he do?" I told her everything. I told her about Ronnie, about our relationship. I told her about that night, that I couldn't have this touch Ronnie at all, I couldn't let him see this, I told her as I pointed at my face.
"He's not going to go away, Syd. The nurse says he hasn't left since he first got here. Maybe you should talk to him, see what he wants. He knew about Jason, about all of it and still wanted you. You heard him, he loves you." I shook my head.
"Bri. I feel ashamed. I couldn't stop him. I let my guard down and this happened. I got our baby killed and I hate myself for that." I closed my eyes, telling her without words that I was finished.
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(Bri's POV)
I walked out of Sydney's room and walked down the hall and was immediately bombarded by Ronnie. "Why is it you get to go see her and none of us can?" He said raising his voice.
"Look. I'm just following what she wants. She doesn't want you to see her bruised. She thinks that this is all her fault, just like she always did when he did this shit to her. I've tried to get her to change her mind but she won't." I took a step back as he took one towards me.
"Can you just tell her that I love her? I don't care about the bruises or any of it. I just need see her, to hold her, to make sure she's ok." He ran his hands through his hair and I could tell he really did love Sydney.
"I'll tell her. I promise. I have to get back. I'll keep you updated." He nodded and I walked back to the room. Looking at Sydney sleeping, I had to try and make her see what she's giving up if she sticks to her plan.