Lisa's POV
"Why didn't you fight back?" I pressed the cold towel over Bambam's cheeks as he winced for the thousand times.
I pulled away from him a little and noticed how he was glaring at me.
"What?" I snickered. "I didn't tell you to pick a fight with Jungkook, you know," I told him.
"Did you see how thick Jungkook's muscles are?" he scoffed and I admit, he actually has a point. "Plus, it's not my fault your boyfriend has a temper,"
My heart clenched at his words.
"Ex," I corrected him, but damn, those words coming out from my own mouth hurts like a truck.
It has been three months since Jungkook indirectly broke up with me.
For weeks, all I did was follow him around and tried to explain the situation to him but he treated me like some ant he can barely see.
Those weeks were the most painful momenta of my life and Hoseok oppa witnessed it all, but he said Jungkook always evades the topic every time he tries to convince him to listen to my explanation.
And after my failed attempts of explaining to him, I decided that I need to give him space, only to find Bambam knocking on our dorm late at this night with a huge bruise on his cheeks.
Jennie was taken aback because she was the one who opened the door.
"And I know Jungkook wouldn't just hit you like that. Did you annoy him?" I asked. Even though he and I broke up, Jungkook is as soft as a marshmallow. He would never hit someone without a reason, moreover a dear friend of him like Bambam.
Bambam scratched the back of his head, avoiding my glance.
"Well..." he started and I raised an eyebrow at him, my arms crossing over my chest in instant.
"What did you do?" I asked him and he started coughing a little.
"Pretending to be hurt or sick won't let you get away with this Bammie, so spill the beans while I'm still being nice to you," I threatened and knowing my Thai best friend, he would totally give in. Because if he doesn't, I'll probably kick him out of my room. And I'm sure as hell it would hurt like a fuck.
"I may or may have not annoyed him a little," he started and I shake my head in disapproval.
"Why did you do that? You know he was still mad thinking about our stupid engagement," I asked him before sitting down on the floor while he sat on my bed.
The moment Jungkook left spitting out those words in the kitchen, I knew for a fact that he either saw something on my phone or Bambam was stupid enough to get caught.
And I was right.
After calling Bambam, I found out he was drunk the night before and called me.
The problem was, he didn't know it was Jungkook who answered and he kept blabbing everything until Jungkook finally spoke and let him know it was him on the line.
Bambam being drunk made everything complicated but I cannot put all the blame on him because it was partly my fault, to begin with.
Jungkook was hurt, I know. Because he thought that I lied by not telling him a word about my supposed engagement with Bambam.
But I'm also hurt because it seems like he didn't trust me.
It's not that I don't want to tell him but I was trying to fix it first before I can share him the incident. I don't want to be a burden to him
Plus, we both know I don't love Bambam and Bambam doesn't see me that way as well.
I didn't lie. I simply didn't ask for his help because I thought this is something me and Bambam should fix. It was our engagement. But then again, he was my boyfriend. I guess he really had the right to get mad.
My inside felt heavy, the air coming inside the room felt like it's bringing out all the negativity within me.
For all those months, I tried to be better. I tried to disregard the fact that I was hurting so bad.
Every time I see him, my heart feels like it's gonna explode. I wanted to feel him in my arms.
But nowadays, even talking to him is hard.
It was as if I was nothing... Like all the things that we've been through didn't even happen at all.
What hurts me, even more, was the fact that he doesn't bother to hear my explanation.
To be honest, I envy Bambam a little. At least, Jungkook still talks to him and sees all of his friends including him.
But with me, he can't stand staying in a room for even five minutes whenever I'm around. He seemed allergic to my presence and we went back to all bickering like how we used to a few years ago.
We were back to square one; except this time, his hate towards me tripled.
I guess he knows our members would be suspicious if he walks away right after I arrive so he stays for a moment and leaves the next few minutes.
The only person who sympathizes with me was Hoseok oppa since he's the only individual who knows about our relationship. He would try to call me so my members won't feel something is wrong
Too bad, I don't have to admit anything to our members anymore. What's the point when there's no more "us" to admit to.
"Lisa.." Bambam whispered. I must have spaced out for too long. But the hurt that was enveloping my being is slowly consuming my self-control. I slowly moved my way towards the corner of the bed, sitting a few inches beside him.
Can't I be hurt too?
My eyes focused on him, my lips shaking a little.
"I miss him. I fucking do," I whispered back, my voice shaking, my eyes starting to moist.
My hands balled into a fist and my chest tightened.
"I miss his voice, his warm hugs, his kisses, everything," I blurted. "I just--" a long sigh escaped my lips.
"Goddamn it," I cursed, slowly breaking the walls I tried to put up within these three months.
I looked at my friend, desperation can be seen on my eyes.
"I just wish he'd listen to me. Why is it hard to listen to me? Can't he like, give me five minutes at least? After all, we were together for a year," I started complaining to Bambam.
I know I shouldn't but all the hurt that was bottling inside me was eating me alive. I need to release it or I will explode.
"Bam, was that so hard to do?" at that, I lost it. I broke down in tears in front of my best friend, my eyes bawling and my sobs had gotten louder.
My hands covered my face as I slowly wash the tears with them. I felt so helpless.
"Lisa..." he muttered and I knew I shouldn't be doing this in front of Bambam but I can no longer stop myself.
"It hurts..." I whispered, my voice cracked. "It fucking hurts that I don't even know how I was able to wake up every morning when I know that like these fast few months, Jungkook will still not talk to me." I rant.
"Fuck, Bam, did I love him too much that I am breaking my own self because of him?" he didn't answer.
"Lisa, please, we can still fix this. I swear Jungkook will soon come to his senses and approach you on his own," he tried comforting me but I just shake my head.
"I tried..." I told him, "Not once, not ten times, but more, yet, he didn't waver." I removed my hands on my face as I look into him, "How much more do I have to do before he fully crushes everything that is left in me?" I asked him.
"Just because I was showing people I was okay doesn't mean I really am. Because Bam, this?" I told him pointing at my heart. "This feels like I'm fucking dead, I'm not even sure how it's still beating."
I told him and we both turn around after we heard the sound of something crashing.
After wiping the tears on my face, I slowly went and head to my door, opening it immediately.
My brows furrowed when I didn't see anyone.
As soon as I turn around, I was sure I heard the sound of the door, it was low as if it was closed really carefully but then it's probably just my imagination.
Yeah, it maybe is.