"Sit," Edward pats his bed. "You said you wanted to know everything, right?"
I nod and sit down next to him. "Yes, but shouldn't you get changed out of that first?" I point at his bloody clothes.
He starts to unbutton his shirt. Blushing hard, I glance away. "You don't have to turn away," he laughs. "You'll have to look at this soon enough."
I peer back at him and gulp. He is ripped. I grit my teeth and try hard to resist the urge to run my hands over his gleaming abs. I clear my throat and say, "um, what were we going to talk about?"
"Let's start with last night," Edward says, "I'm sure you know that my brothers were murdered?" I nod. "Alexander was only a year older than me. We were very close. He screamed for my help before the assassin slit his throat. But I couldn't respond. Couldn't move. I was frozen in fear."
"You were just a kid. It's normal to feel scared."
"I dream about his death every night. I'm always paralyzed. Forced to watch him slaughtered again and again."
I rub his shoulder reassuringly, "Edward, I'm so sorry."
"When I was little, I would cry when I woke up. But over the years I've stopped feeling anything. I'm become completely numb," he takes a shaky breath and shows me his arm, which is covered in tiny silver scars. "I cut myself hoping that the physical pain will trigger something within me. But I can't feel. It's like my heart doesn't work anymore."
"Oh, Edward," I whisper, "I'm so sorry."
Suddenly, he reaches out and takes my hand, turning it over to reveal the thin cut his sword had made last night. "But when I cut you last night," he whispers, keeping his gaze fixed on my palm, "for a moment, I felt...I felt pain."
"Hey," I lean down and caress his cheek, the way my mother always did to me when I was sad. "It's alright. It wasn't your fault. I cut myself by accident."
"Why are you doing this to me?" he whispers.
Assuming he meant my hand, I try to remove it from his face, but he grabs it and keeps it tight against his cheek. "I felt pain," he says, "It pained me to watch you get hurt." He closes his eyes for a moment, as if recalling something. His lips quirk into a smile and he continues, "and the day I met you, all crazy yet so so beautiful. I felt something. Something..."
"Edward...I-" I start to say, but suddenly his face is inches from mine, and my words are frozen in midair. He's coming closer, I note, feeling my heart speed up like crazy. I cannot stop staring at his lips, which seem to be coming straight for mine. "Why?" he whispers, "Why do I feel this way when I look at you?" He pauses before me for a second, his eyes searching mine, as if asking for permission. I start to close my eyes, and almost immediately, his lips are on mine.
Our kiss is hot, passionate and all tongue. Like nothing I've ever felt before. As an actress, I've kissed my fair share of hot guys, and there were some pretty good kissers, but this is different. This is unreal. This is one of those kisses that you read about in unrealistic romance novels. I gasp as he yanks me into his bare arms and presses his lips against mine, harder and more urgent.
I press myself into him, shocked by the pleasure rushing through me. "Don't stop," I whisper, feeling his fingers pause on the corset of my dress. But he does.
"Catherine," he murmurs against my lips, his voice strained. "Maybe you should go."
"What?" I pull back and stare at him. "Why?"
He stands up abruptly and strides over to the window, leaving his back facing me. "I-I can't look at you."
"Edward..."
"Just go, Catherine, just go."
"Stop pushing me away!" I protest. "Every time I think we're getting closer, you just get further away."
"I said. LEAVE."
Feeling tears prick the back of my eyes, I stride out of the room.
———————————
I go to bed early that night, too emotionally drained to do anything. The last thing I want to do is spend my night obsessing over Edward, but my mind has other ideas...
I dream about him. His piercing blue eyes. His roman nose. His large warm hands, calloused but gentle, roaming my body. His lips, hungrily exploring mine. My dream shifts, and I'm watching him ride on a white horse, all tall and magnificent, like the king he is. A group of men on smaller brown horses are following him. Suddenly, a few of them begin to ride ahead of Edward, gradually forming a circle around him. I try to speak, but my voice won't come out. The circle of men start to start release arrows at Edward. He sweeps his sword in an arc, deflecting all the arrows but one, which lands in his chest. Horrified, I scream and jerk out of my dream.
Panting heavily, I sit up in bed. What the hell was that? My dream seemed to mirror what Calchantis had told me the other day. Was it just my mind conjuring something up, or was it a vision of some sort?
"Ugh, whatever. It's not like that jerk wants to be saved," I shake my head and am about to get out of bed when I notice my right hand is coated in a sticky substance. Frowning, I bring my hand up to my face and squint at it. It's blood. A drop of blood lands on my eyelash, and I blink, confused. Where is it coming from? Another drop lands on my arm. Another on the tip of my nose. That's when I tilt my head up to look at the top of my canopy bed.
I scream.
There's a dead man. His throat is slit open, and his face is contorted in terror. Four swords pin him to the top of my bed.
I make a strangled sound as the blood continues dripping over me, rolling over my arms and staining my white nightgown.
I start to scream.
To my relief, Edward and four guards soon burst into my room. "Catherine? You okay?" Edward asks worriedly.
"Edward!" I choke out, "the-there's a man..."
After taking a steady look at the dead man, he rushes over to my side and pulls me into his arms. "It's okay," he whispers as I begin to sob into his chest.
"Who would do this?" I ask him, sniffling.
"It's a warning from our enemies. They don't want us married."
"How did it even get in here?" I say between sobs. "And Edward, they'll try to hurt you too. I think they're trying to say that this will be you if we get married. I-"
"Shhh," Edward cuts me off, stroking my hair with a surprisingly gentle hand. "Don't worry, I won't allow anyone to hurt you."
"No, I'm worried about you getting hurt, not m-"
"I'm fine," he replies calmly while pulling me off my bed. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."
"Edward," I glance back at the dead man and suck in a deep breath. "I don't want to come back in here."
"Don't worry, I'll have the guards get rid of him," Edward assures me.
"No," I grip his arm, "I'm scared. Can I...can I maybe stay with you tonight?"
———————————
"You feeling better now?" Edward asks me as I climb into his bed after taking a bath.
"Yes," I smile, "thanks for letting me stay here. But are you sure you don't want to take the bed?"
Edward shakes his head from the window seat, "nah, I like it here." He blows out the candle above his desk and the room turns dark. "Goodnight, Catherine."
"Edward..." I pull my sheets tighter around myself, "I can't stop thinking about that man. I'm scared..."
"Do you..."Edward trails off for a few seconds, "want me to lie down next to you?"
"Yes, please."
"Okay."
"Thanks."
I feel my entire body heat up at the sound of the bed creaking under the pressure of Edward's body. I gulp, noticing that my heartbeat is speeding up dramatically.
"Edward?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did you tell me to leave earlier?" I blurt out, "after-after we kissed? Was it...bad?"
For what feels like hours, he doesn't reply. I'm beginning to think that he's gone to sleep when
he finally replies, "No. It was...good. I told you to leave because I was afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
"I felt something when I kissed you. It was a feeling that I've never felt with anyone, and I was afraid."
I can't help a silly grin. "Maybe you have a crush on me."
"What does that mean?"
I search for his hand in the darkness and grab it. "What do you think it means?"
"Catherine," he whispers, his voice husky, as if he has just come back from a run.
"Wha-" I'm about to say when he suddenly rolls over and pulls me into his arms. I gasp as I land on top of him. Before I am able to respond, his lips are on mine. I kiss him back eagerly, knotting my fingers into his hair. Soon, my clumsy hands are fumbling around with the buckles of his belt.
"Let me," he whispers in my ear. I shudder. Swiftly, he removes his belt and pants. He rolls me over so that he is on top of me.
My mind is screaming at me. You're a virgin! Do you even know what you're doing? But I can't think straight. The only thing I know is I want him. Desperately.
"Are you sure?" Edward asks, staring down at me, his eyes wide. I answer by pressing my lips against his. Slowly, he thrusts himself inside me and I wince. The pain is soon replaced by a wonderful fullness.
"Please, Edward," I moan against his lips, digging my nails into his back, "more, please." He's moaning too as he starts to move faster.