Honestly, I hate not being there for people. Especially people I love and care about. Someone extremely close to me just had everything go to shit and I feel so horrible because I was there maybe an hour earlier but I wasn't there to help them when they were sobbing. Fuck, my friend even texted me, asking if I had left because this other person was crying. I feel so fucking bad. I shouldve been there. I should've at least been awake. All I want to do right now is cry because I'm so fucking worried. They got their phone taken away and they're not able to do a lot of things now. I'm so scared that they're not going to be able to be in the musical now and fuck. I just want the best for them.
They don't deserve this.
They don't deserve not being able to do the things they love. They don't deserve the crippling anxiety and overwhelming excitement they get when their parents let people come over/let them go hang out. They don't deserve the stress on their shoulders. They deserve the best they can get. I've known them for a long time and I've seen them go through several hard things, they should at least get something for being so strong thus far. I love them so much and I just wish I could help them in any way I could but there's not much I can do.
Ugh.
I should've been there for them last night.