The obnoxious sound of Mikey purposely banging on a pot echoed in everyone's ears, arousing them from slumber. They groaned, burying their heads in their pillows. He did this every Sunday morning.
"Shut u-up," croaked Raph, his voice collapsing on him. Exhausted and frustrated, he tossed the sheets away and stumbled to the door, opening it wide. "Shut up!" He screeched, then slammed it closed.
The clanging failed to cease. "Get up!" Mikey shouted back mockingly. He strolled up and down the hallway, banging on a soup pot with his wooden spoon. Clang! Clang! Clang! Clang!
Raph's bedroom door flew open again and out he ran, jumping onto Mikey and tackling him to the ground.
One by one, Donnie, April, and Casey filed out of their rooms, rubbing their eyes. Ignoring the skirmish at the end of the hall, they followed each other to the kitchen and began dishing out the breakfast Mikey had prepared. Master Splinter was already seated and eating. Mikey and Raph joined the group soon after.
It was common on any day of the week for Leonardo to eat his morning meal separately. He always awoke two hours before the rest of his family to meditate, then trained with his brothers. Even after they finished up, he stayed behind while the others went on to make breakfast. On Sunday's he was the only one who got up early to train. If every person in the kitchen stopped talking and listened, they could hear Leo's occasional grunts as he practiced.
They had all warned him multiple times that there was such a thing as training too hard. Even Splinter, who encouraged dedication, advised the eldest to give himself a break more often than he had been. "All in moderation," as the rat reminded each of them regularly.
If Leo heeded their suggestions, they would never know. Over the years he had closed himself off from them, shutting himself away in his bedroom or in the dojo. Actually, the bedroom could probably be discarded as an option. He practically lived in the dojo.
His brothers were unable to understand why their leader had chosen the path he had. They missed his maturity and wisdom. Without his guidance, they'd had to teach themselves how to live the way he would've taught them to if he'd been there. How to do things he otherwise would have shown them how to do.
As the second in line to the throne that is "Oldest Sibling", Raph had done his best to take over as the responsible role model his younger brothers needed. But that was tough because like Donnie and Mikey, he also needed someone to look up to. And, quite frankly, Raphael was a terrible roll model during his elementary and middle school years. He got significantly better by the end of high school, but still.
Leo didn't come out until after everyone else had dispersed. Towel draped around his neck, he scoured the refrigerator for something to fill his empty stomach, which growled at him impatiently. A few eggs would re-establish his protein level, and he threw in some other sides like toast and an apple.
Raph passed through to grab a snack to munch on while watching Yu-Gi-Oh on one of the Saturday morning television channels. "Well, look who finally crawled out of his cave," he teased.
Leonardo sighed, for this was standard in his life.
"You know, you haven't laughed in forever," he began, snatching a bag of potato chips from a cupboard above. Leo rolled his eyes and stuffed a bite of egg into his mouth. "Haven't seen you smile in a while either."
"Raph . . ."
"I'm being serious here." Raph turned around and leaned up against the counter as he popped the bag open. It squeaked repeatedly in his hands.
"I am too. Stop."
The younger tossed a chip into his mouth and crunched on it. "Actually, I think you need to hear this," decided he. "You need to get out more; have a little fun."
Leo didn't look up from his plate. "I'm good. Thanks."
"I don't think you are. We should do something sometime."
"Like what?" He scoffed. "Watch anime and play Halo? Spend an extra hour topside? What else do you consider "doing something", huh? That crap isn't fun to me anymore. Maybe when I was a kid, but now I have more important things to do." He immediately returned his eyes to the eggs that were beginning to cool off.
Raph stared at his brother in disbelief. "How can you be so stupid? We would play Fortnite," he declared.
"Raph . . . no."
"Raph yes."
"No." He shoved away from the table and stood. "I have stuff to do."
"Yeah, I know. Train and sleep."
"Train, sleep, and study."
Sighing, Raph pushed past Leo, bumping his shell to emphasize his disappointment. "I don't know you anymore, Leo."
He turned his head away. "You don't need to know me."
Leo quickly swallowed down the rest of his breakfast and slipped out of the sewers. He needed some fresh air. Spending day after day in a home, going through the same routine, it got old sometimes.
He wouldn't admit it, but Raphael was right when he said Leo needed to get out and do something. So Leo would. Just not with his brothers. He'd convinced himself a long time ago that he didn't need them, and they didn't need him. At least, that's what it felt like.
Leo had always been a perfectionist. If he couldn't do everything exactly the way he felt it should be done, he'd simply work harder, and never quit until there was nothing more he could possibly do. But there was always one thing he could never seem to master, and that was being a big brother.
No matter what he did, whether kind or harsh, he was criticized for by his brothers. If he tried to help them figure something out, he was shut down. If he gave a word of advice, they called him bossy and controlling. If Master Splinter praised him for a job well done, or called out the others for their lack there of, Leonardo was taunted for simply being an obedient son. He could never truly be perfect. But he did try, for himself and for his family.
Unfortunately, his brothers failed to respect that, and he failed to keep them out of his head. Arguing with them didn't help a thing. He could scream at them until his voice gave out, but they didn't care. They just screamed louder. Master Splinter didn't help much, in his mind. In fact, Splinter tended to call out his eldest son for smaller things more often, than he did the others. It didn't make sense to Leo.
And so he gave up. He quit trying to even be their older sibling. He shut himself up for years to come, honing his skills in every other area. His patience had worn thin and he was tired of dealing with the negativity.
Maybe if Raph, Donnie, and Mikey had been more understanding, he wouldn't have disappeared so early on in their childhood. Maybe if Master Splinter was just as hard on the younger three as he was on the eldest, Leo wouldn't be so hard on himself.
But maybe if Leo had continued to do what he had been doing, patiently instructing his siblings instead of running away from them, things would be different. Maybe they would've seen a prime example of leadership working in their lives. Perseverance. A kind heart. Patience. Gentle hands. A no-quit attitude. Maybe if Leo had realized they just had different ways of looking at life than he did, and they naturally wouldn't mature as fast as he had mentally, then they would still be on good terms with each other.
But Leo never considered this. As he climbed up the fire escape of an old, brick apartment building and stepped onto the roof, he neglected the thought. Never once had he thought that maybe he wasn't able to control other people's reactions. That it wasn't his call to decide whether or not they responded well to his decisions. Because it's not like everyone controls their own responses or anything. That's preposterous.
Instead he leapt across the rooftops, morning sun casting it's bright rays upon him, and pondered how to further avoid Raphael, who had always been the worst of the brothers when it came to discouragement. In order to grow mentally, Leonardo told himself he needed to cut out everyone and everything that put a negative shadow in his way. That would be Raphael, first and foremost. Then he would work on cutting back pizza. Healthy eating leads to healthy body.