Hey! So I'm back! I know you're probably mad at Niall, but just keep reading.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
<<Zayn's POV>>
I should be at hockey practice, but I've been crying in Doniya's lap for about an hour. My heart was torn up in pieces. Thankfully, she didn't have to go to work or school. She was very angry at Niall for what he did. But frankly, I don't blame him. I should've been more careful. I begged her not to mess with Niall. Because a part of me thinks that Niall truly loved me, and will change his mind. The other majority just wanted me to die, hopeless.
"Do you want to call Niall yourself, before I go and cut off his dick." Doniya asked. I could tell she was doing all she could to keep in her rage.
"I, I guess so." I sighed. "Can I invite him over to talk about it? And Harry?" I asked
"Of course, Harry is always welcomed, he's a good friend, at least you have him to support you." Doniya said, throwing away all of the soaked tissues.
"Thanks." I sniffed as I picked up my phone. When I turned it on, there was, like a million messages, from Niall and Harry. Mostly was Niall apologizing and Harry telling me to forgive Niall because he didn't mean what he said.
"Well, it looks like Niall is trying to make amends, hopefully he'll love you unconditionally." Doniya told me. I texted them back to meet me ASAP at Doniya's place. I gave them the location. Niall was at practice, but coach said that he can arrange for an exemption.
"Well, you know what to say right?" Doniya said. "And if they give you any shit." She started to say, "Then you know what's gonna happen." She picked up her red stiletto heel.
"Doniya! I'm sure that things will go alright, I want to hope for the best." I sighed, I knew that she was trying to lighten up the mood, but to be honest, I didn't quite feel like it.
In about a few minutes, they both arrived, in Niall's car. Doniya opened the door and welcomed Harry warmly. But she stared daggers in Niall's back and he looked uncomfortably.
"Sit, we have some to talk about." She told Niall. He sat down without a word.
"So, tell me everything that happen, Harry." She told him. Harry told a deep breath and told Doniya everything that happened. When he was done, Doniya processed it for a bit.
"So Niall, what do you have to say about this?" She asked.
"I-I-I'm sorry, I let my head get over me and I'm sorry Zayn, I promise that I will never ever do that again, can you please forgive me? I promise when I said I'll never leave you, I didn't mean what I said." Niall pleaded. I gave him a sad look.
"You hurt me very bad." I told him.
"I know, and I'm sorry, I can see it in your eyes that you're disappointed." He told me. "But here I am, asking for one more chance."
"Zayn, give him one more chance." Harry reasoned.
"If you want to." Doniya spoke.
"Of course, I guess I'll have to, but, why? Why did you come back for me?" I asked. Niall pulled out his wallet and took out a piece of paper. It was the one from the fortune cookie.
TRUE LOVE MEANS STICKING WITH SOMEONE EVEN IF IT HURTS
"Aww, Niall? You kept that?" I asked.
"Of course baby, because I love you and I won't ever leave you, because no matter what, deep down, I am yours."
"Oh, Niall." I wept and I collapsed into his arms.
"You better not hurt my little brother or you better watch your ass." Doniya warned, pointing a red acrylic nail at him.
"I'm so glad you made up." Harry smiled.
"We're going to stay forever." Niall promised, pressing his nose on me. No matter what, I thought about it for a while, but no matter what you choose, I'll love you." Niall promised me.
We got to talk a bit more. And Doniya got to know Niall and her view of him changed. But, it was time to go home, I had to get home before my parents got suspicious. Tomorrow night was a hockey game and Doniya told me that she'll be there since she didn't need to go to work. But she told me to take a break from skating in the early mornings and get lots of rest for my health.
<<The Next Day>>
The next day, at the hockey game, there were cheerleaders. The way that Olympia looked at Niall made me very upset. She was twirling her pom-pom, in a tight, maroon leotard that showed off all of her cleavage and the insides of her thighs. To be honest, she had an amazing body, I would kill to have those legs. But Niall was mine, not hers. I remembered what Niall told me, that he would never leave me. And I decided to trust him, to trust that he won't dump me or cheat. And I discover, that when I trust, it was so much better than to doubt. I'm so glad that Niall was my boyfriend. He would make a great husband someday. And I'm sure he would be a great father, but that's if I ever want to have children.
Then I realized, that I have one for him right now. I had a child inside me. He, or she, was mine, and Niall's. I thought of what love we could show on the child. And all of my worries went away. Of what others would say, what my parents would say, they all vanished. Just as long as it was me, Niall and our baby. I wanted to hold him, or her so bad. I wanted to hold my child, feed it, raise it and see what I've done.
"Zayn! You're up!" Coach yelled. Louis and I quickly traded places.
I was out on the ice, physically, but not mentally. I still thought. I still can't take care of another human being. I'm only sixteen. I was living life way too fast, I should take it slow and enjoy it, I should be out partying and having a ball, not staying home, with a sick child who I can't take care of. My child shouldn't have to suffer the cruelties of the world. I couldn't take my head out of the image of Niall working a low paying job, being on welfare and us stuck in poverty.
But if I gave birth, I couldn't possibly think of giving my child up for adoption. Other than the fact that orphanages are way overcrowded, knowing that a child of mine is in the arms of another pair of arms would give me heartaches to no end. I would always grieve the loss of a child. I was so conflicted. And I haven't even had my appointment with Doniya's GYN. I was getting ahead of myself. Whereas I wanted to desperately to have a beautiful family, I knew it wasn't possible. I know that Harry, Louis, Doniya and Niall would help me. But then my baby and I would just be a burden on all of them. And I can't have that. I don't know what's worse, to give birth and live a hard, bleak life of poverty and hopelessness. Or to kill the baby.
My head was in the clouds the entire time. Niall could tell, and so could everyone else, because, because of me, we lost the game. And the shame on Niall's face in front of Olympia broke my heart.
"Zayn you okay? What's going through your mind?" Niall asked after I got changed.
"I'm, I'm just worried about what's to come." I whispered.
"Darling you don't have to hold it, you don't have to be afraid you can go ahead and unload it 'cause you know it'll be okay." He comforted me.
"You're going to go with me to the gynecologist appointment tomorrow right?" I asked
"Yes, of course, babe, I will, Harry's coming too." He told me.
"Thank you." I whispered.
"No, thank you, for forgiving me." He whispered back. I held my breath. What if, what if. Oh, never mind.
<<The next afternoon>>
"Zain Malik, please go to the front office, you're being picked up for a doctor's appointment." Mr. Boorman, our administrator instructed me. "You are leaving for the day."
"Thank you sir." I sighed. I gathered my things from my locker and went to the front office. Niall, Harry and Doniya were there. Doniya was in her work uniform, a collared shirt with the drug store name on it and a black pencil skirt with mid-length stilettos. Her hair was shiny and nice.
"You ready?" Doniya asked.
"I'm nervous." I sighed as we walked out the door. I truly was. I was scared to death.
"Aww, don't be, hun." Niall smiled. He hunched me up.
"Take Zayn's car, he's gonna have to go home right after so they don't become suspicious." Doniya instructed. "I'm going to take my car because I have to get back to work." She told us, looking at her watch.
"Okay." Niall said. I gave him my keys and Harry went with us. Niall drove to the address that Doniya gave him.
"Have you told your mom yet?" I asked.
"No, not yet." Niall answered.
"Me neither." Harry responded.
"How do you think she'd react? She seems really understanding." I said.
"Well, she'd probably want to know more, she'd give me a dirty look and then want to know what she can do to help." Niall replied.
"What if I need the abortion." I asked. Niall tensed a bit, as he still didn't want it.
"She would probably help you go with it. My mom is pro-choice, but only in emergencies, Zayn." Niall answered.
"Well, I trust her, so you can tell her after the appointment, but other than her, don't tell anyone else." I asked.
"Of course." Niall promise.
"Can I tell Louis? He's wondering why I'm spending so much time with you and and not him." Harry asked.
"Well, I guess so, but don't tell anyone else." I said. And then, before anyone else says anything else, I cranked up the music. Of course, it was Duck Duck Goose, by CupcaKke, and that got everybody cracking up, which lightened up the mood. But we were almost done with the song when we got to the OB/GYN office. Doniya was already there.
"Zayn, this is my appointment, so I'll go first, but I've already talked with Dr. Joe Calderone about this and he said that he will take a look at you for no charge." Doniya informed. I nodded. We went inside, There was a waiting room, with a big glass tank with a snake habitat in it. The tank was like, 120 gallons and was like a mini tropical habitat and there was a python in there. Harry of course, went over and took pictures.
"Stay here, it should just be about fifteen minutes, then your turn." Doniya said, after filling out some paper. "And fill this out." She informed. She gave my a few papers to fill out. I sat down with Niall and filled out the questions. Most of them were medical history and any symptoms. The ones that were specifically for women were crossed out and the ones asking for my insurance and social security, Doniya filled out. It was pretty easy to fill out. I went up and handed the filled questionnaire to the receptionist. She looked about my age and gave me a strange look. I guess she never met a case of male pregnancy. But again, neither have I.
I went back down and held Niall's hand. Harry was still gawking at the snake. I thought about what has happened the last few months. I had gotten a boyfriend, I've been sneaking around, going to Doniya's. I had lost my virginity. I had gotten pregnant. And now I'm in the office of a GYN. About ten minutes passed and Doniya came back out.
"Zayn, it's time for your turn!" She called out. Niall and I stood up. Harry went with us to the exam room. I was sat down by a nurse.
"Here, put your exam gown on." She instructed, and closed the curtains. I quickly stripped to my underwear realised that my abs seemed to have loosened. It was about six or so weeks and there was already a physical signs. I quickly ignored it and placed on my gown. I opened the curtains again. Doniya, Niall and Harry were still standing there.
"Thank you, Dr. Calderone will be here shortly, until then, just sit tight and wait." The nurse said as she left and closed the door. She was in her forties, and probably has experienced a few male pregnancies before, unlike the receptionist. A few minutes later, a male doctor came in. He looked to be in his thirties, with long, slicked black hair. He looked like a male Lady Gaga with black hair.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Joe Calderone, I'll be your GYN." He said with a smile. He shook my hand. He looked kinda tired, but all doctors probably are.
"I'm Zayn, I'm pretty sure Doniya has already told you stuff about me." I said.
"Yes, you older sister has, and from what I hear, you're pregnant for the first time?" He asked.
"Yes." I verified.
"That's completely fine, I can understand that you're confused, scared and shocked, Doniya has told me that you already know how it works, so let's get down to earth." He started. "Do you have any immediate questions?" he asked.
"What is going to happen? Is the baby supposed to be healthy, is it going to have a natural birth?" I asked. I had a million more, but these are the only ones I could spit out.
"Well, we're going to need to do some more tests, why don't we do your exams first?" He suggested. We got my blood pressure, height, weight.
"You seem healthy, I'm going to do a normal checkup." He said. He did a normal body checkup, and said that I was healthy. Then he had to do a genitalia exam. Everyone, except Niall stepped out.
"If I can get pregnant, then why don't I ever get periods?" I asked.
"You do, but there's no blood, just the egg comes out along with your bowel movement." He answered as he got his glove. "First we're going to do a prostate exam." He informed. He did the prostate, testicular and penile examination. It was embarrassing, but Niall held my hand the entire time. I was healthy in those regions. Then it was time for the ultrasound and screening. He spreaded the gel out over my abdomen and let Harry and Doniya back in. I saw a tiny baby in the ultrasound screen. My heart leapt.
"That's our baby, Zayn!" Niall exclaimed. I smiled weakly. Even though I wanted to hold this baby so much, I knew that in the long run, we would all suffer because of it. I knew what I had to do.
"Hmmm, to me, it looks as if you are four or five weeks pregnant, not six weeks as we had previously thought." He speculated.
"And what does that mean?" I asked.
"Your baby is developing quite rapidly, but since this is a male pregnancy and there are higher than normal mortality rate as your body was not designed to carry a child, especially at a young age." He told me. "This means that your body cannot perform a vaginal birth, and we will have to do a C-section." My heart dropped. This pregnancy would be very complicated.
"Can I get an abortion?" I asked. I could feel Niall tense.
"Zayn." Niall whispered in dismay.
"Yes you may, but only up until the twelfth week, it's against the law to perform one after." He told me. "It may be best for you physically, as this baby will inflict a large amount of wear on your body.
"I think I might be interested." I said.
"Well, you have to get a parental consent, unless if Doniya has gone to the court for a waiver." Dr. Calderone informed. "But I can refer you to the nearby Planned Parenthood nearby, they perform safe, low price abortion, depending on your health insurance. I have recommended it it many people."
"Yep." Doniya agreed, with a nod.
"What should I do until then?" I asked, "I'm not sure if I want to make that decision." I said.
"Well, you should get lots of rest, eat properly, eat more frequent, but smaller meals and exercise for the first few weeks." He advised. "And talk to your family about your thought for abortion, for some people they regret having abortion, also known as post-abortion trauma, others do not." He said.
"Just think about it for a little while, Zayn." Harry said.
"Well, alright, do you know how to set up an appointment with the Planned Parenthood agency?" I asked.
"It's quite easy, actually, when you leave, I will give you and your boyfriend and everyone else a booklet concerning abortion and a FAQ from Planned Parenthood." He told me. I was quite at ease, I had some time to digest all of this.
"What if I have any more questions?" I asked.
"Hmm, I will give you my business card." He said, he went out and retrieved a stack of papers in a bag.
"Here, this has everything I told you about, including a guide to maternal health and other important matters. And here is my business card, feel free to call or email me." He gave me. The business card had his phone, fax and email. Dr. Calderone gave the booklet to Doniya, Niall and Harry.
"Thank you." I thanked. I was grateful for all of his help. We exchanged a few more words, and then left.
"He was really nice." I commented.
"Yeah, well, he is my GYN for a reason." Doniya said. "Well, I have to get to work, I'll see you later." She said. She hunched up her purse and trotted to her car, heels clacking on the snowy pavement. We got into my car and drove back to the school to drop Niall and Harry back off.
"Zayn, if you really want an abortion, I can't stop you, but please, think about the consequence." Niall sighed.
"I will babe, I will." I promised. Now the problem was not so much the fact I was pregnant, but what I should do.
Sooo, what's going through your mind right now? Atm I'm not sure of I'm gonna have the abortion or not, so just stay tuned!
QOTD: If you got pregnant right now (even if you're male) would you get an abortion? Or carry the fetus to full term?