«not edited»
fanaa (v) destruction of the self, "destroyed in love" —
[origin : urdu]
2 weeks later
n o v e m b e r s e v e n t e e n t h
I was walking the halls to creative writing class with Pyper and Blake on either side of me and I felt both of their eyes on me. And then to make sure I wasn't just imagining things, I looked over at Pyper and then Blake and they were both looking at me, their looks mirroring each other's: soft eyes and faint smiles.
"What?" I mumbled out feeling my cheeks tint.
"Nothing," Blake said cheekily, "We're all just happy that you didn't leave after we told you about us," he finished with the same faint smile. But it didn't quite reach his eyes, neither did Pyper's. Something with the Worthington's since November started, they've all been melancholic and quieter than usual.
"I didn't wanna be the only girl anymore," Pyper pouted and I laughed as we entered the classroom.
We all took our seats and got writing in our notebooks/journals, but my thoughts seemed to be occupied with a certain ocean-eyed boy.
Since November started, it looked like Phoenix started a new trend for himself: disappearing off the face of earth and then showing his face once every few days. And those few times I'd see him was my only way to know he was still alive and okay. Sadly, I could count the times he's actually shown up for class since November 1st: five classes. Five fucking classes. Whether Pyper, the guys, and I were hanging out in school, back at my place or the Worthington's, Phoenix never really was around. At the Worthington mansion, he was always locked up in his room, at my place, he never came with the gang. But when he did make an appearance, either his eyes were bloodshot or he looked like utter hell, unbelievably tired. He had yet to show up today - depending if he even believed today was good enough for him, or however he chose which days to show up - since the last time he was here was last Wednesday for creative writing. And then he'd just disappear once again. And I knew better than to ask, even if I was dying to know.
I don't have much written on my paper by the time the bells rings and I just stack my books messily on each other, planning to throw it all in my locker and and just grab my Spanish notebook and take a nap in class.
Judah and I fell in step with each other on the way to my locker with the gang trailing behind. I exchange my books and grab my denim pencil case before shutting my locker. Turning around, my jaw dropped as I came face to face with the one and only Phoenix Worthington.
"Étoile filante," he breathed out, taking a step closer to me. His eyes were not cold, not emotionless, but dull and tired, and the dark rings under his eyes only made it more known that he's been having sleepless nights.
"Phoenix," I said faintly and a little light seemed to shine in his eyes - or I'm just imagining things. Probably the latter. He came by my side, resting an arm around my lower back and I most definitely did not miss the glares exchanged between Phoenix and Judah.
Silence settled within us all and Phoenix wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close against his body and walking us down the hall, - to his locker I'm guessing - not waiting on the gang.
As he spun the dial on his locker, I leaned on the one next to his, watching him intently. He grabbed two notebooks and a denim pencil case like mine, isn't that something, and closed his locker, staring right back at me.
"Wanna head to Spanish?" I ask quietly, pulling out my phone from my pocket to check the time. We only had two minutes before the bell rang. Two! How the hell are we so late?
"Um, no," he said with a smirk, "Let's do something," he finished with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
"Like..." I trailed.
"Live a little," he said simply and he tugged on my hand, pulling me in the direction of the central hallway of the building.
"Phoenix, what are we doing?"
"Just follow me," he said, glancing back at me. The final bell rang as we just stood right in the middle of the halls and I grew even more confused. There were still some students lingering around and some at their lockers.
What the hell?
Pulled me into his chest and murmured, "People think we're dating, no?" And I nod my head in his chest.
"Then let's give them a show."
"Okay," I said, but it came out muffled.
"Play along," he grounded out before backing away from me. He dropped his books on the ground as did I and he looked up at the ceiling and then back at me, glaring. Oh, he wants to play this game. I easily lost all emotions and changed my expression to a glare, meeting his eyes. He took one step toward me and I took one step back. And he kept walking toward me while I kept walking backwards, until I backed into the lockers.
"You're just a fucking bitch," he yelled, his voice resonating throughout the pretty empty hallway. Immediately, a few students and then some came out of the different rooms in the hall, confusion on all their faces. I looked up to Phoenix's face, he was smirking, and he was caging me against the lockers, I literally felt the heat radiating off his body.
I scoffed and yelled back, "I've been nothing but committed and loyal in this relationship!" I broke into sobs, lowering my head, letting my hair cover my face. He didn't retort anything back and I looked up discreetly to see fear and panic in his eyes. I slightly crinkle my forehead and his expression changed into one of a scowl. More like his resting bitch face.
"Sleeping with my brother," he laughed humorlessly, "Really?!" At this point, we conjured up a crowded, just like we wanted. Oh fuck, what am I supposed to say?
"Oh please! He was there when you weren't, and he was there to hold me and comfort me when you weren't," he took a step back, looking slightly hurt, but you wouldn't be able to tell unless you studied his face. I ended it bitterly, "But duty calls right," and I threw my hands up.
"We're done," he raged and I looked around. Guys were all staring at me hungrily and jealousy disappeared from girls' eyes. The crowd was dead silent though, all that could be heard was Phoenix and I's hard breathing. But I also caught a glimpse of the gang, standing right in front of the crowd to my right with all their jaws dropped. Oops. The current situation was quite hilarious and I could tell Phoenix felt the same and though we wanted to burst out laughing, we were able to keep straight faces.
That is, until someone cleared their throat and our heads snapped in the direction. Dr. Evercrest. The fucking principal.
Oh shit.
"Mr. Worthington. Ms. Vasiliev," he spoke.
I looked over at Phoenix and he mouth one word. Run. I subtly nodded my head and before anything else happened, we both took off.
We made it to his car, in fits of laughter.
"How do you feel," he said, still laughing.
"Alive, exhilarated," I replied through laughter. This was just hilarious, yet the adrenaline was fresh in my blood.
"Okay, I'm not going back in there, so let's go somewhere," he said with a small smile.
"Where do you wanna go," I asked as we got in his car.
"I have a diner in mind," he replied as he started the car and drove off.
§
Moonlite Diner on Hollywood.
The diner reminded me of Pop's Chock'Lit Shoppe in Riverdale.
Phoenix got out of the car and came by my side, opening the door for me.
"Come on, étoile filante," he held out his hand for me and I took it.
Walking inside, I actually realized how hungry I was. The scent of delectable food hit my sixth sense and it made my mouth water. And then the fact that I didn't eat breakfast made me crave food even more.
Phoenix practically dragged us over to a window booth and waved his hand frantically for a waiter or waitress. Guess he's hungry too.
"Hey, welcome to Moonlite Diner, what can I start you guys with?" A waiter, Adriel, greeted us. His eyes were on me, and me completely. I looked at Phoenix, and as I thought, he was shooting daggers at the boy.
"I'll take the Caramel Curried Nut sundae," I said with a small smile.
"And I'll have the Continental sundae," Phoenix said with an edge. The boy wrote it down on his notepad and didn't even bother to glance at Phoenix before he walked off.
"Fucking asshole," Phoenix muttered and I look at him sitting across from me in the booth a raised eyebrow. He didn't look at me and instead looked down at the menu in his hands.
Adriel came back moments later with two sundaes in his hand and asked if we were ready to order once he placed them in front of us.
"I'll take the Tropical Mahi," Phoenix stated, "And what about you, étoile?"
"I'll take the Chicken Primavera," I answered, looking into his eyes.
"We'll take a basket of Cajun fried shrimp as well," he added, never once taking his eyes off me.
I didn't even realize Adriel walked away as Phoenix and I jumped right into conversation, about everything and anything.
Fifteen minutes later, we were digging into our plates and the basket of shrimp stood in between us, waiting to be touched. It was a silent war between him and I, who was gonna take the first one. We went back and forth, I gave him a pointed look, nodding to the basket, he just pointed at the basket, I glared at him and flickered my gaze down at the basket, he shook his head, and then he chuckled holding his hands up in surrender and looking at me and nodding to the basket. I huffed and frowned before taking the damn shrimp while he had a smug look on his face.
We were talking about cross country and soccer when my phone went off and I pulled it out of my back pocket to see Hunter's name.
"Hunter, my favorite asshole! Why are you calling," I deadpan.
"Adri, hi," he said breathlessly, "Wait aren't you supposed to be in class?"
"Well, you see," I laugh awkwardly, "I may ormaynothaveranoutwithPhoenix," I rushed out in one breath.
"Adrianna, you," pause, "did," pause again, "what?"
"I just told you what I did and if you didn't hear, then that's really your loss," I retort in nonchalance.
"You just ran out of your school building? With Phoenix Worthington?"
"Oh, you actually listened," I mutter sarcastically.
"Adrianna Vasiliev," he tried to say in a deep authoritative tone to which I couldn't help but laugh, "How could you do this?"
"Uh huh, keep going," I laughed.
"I expected better from you, you've disappointed me, daughter," he chastised.
"I'm so sorry, father," my voice laced with sarcasm.
He coughed, "Speaking of fathers," he muttered.
"I hate my father," he stated dryly.
"He's the worst goddamn person, he has betrayed me, I can't live with him, I hate him, he is an ass," he huffed on the other end of the phone. Okay then.
"What did daddy Bazzi do now," I mimic the voice of a mother soothing a child.
"He didn't care about me getting into an arranged marriage," he said through gritted teeth and my jaw dropped.
"What the fuck do you mean arranged marriage?"
"The Dannhauser's set up a meeting with my father and I and we went. But neither of us really gave a shit, cause the Dannhauser's are full of bullshit, ya feel? They'll play with you left, right, and center, to the point where you don't even know they're playing you.
"So, they brought forward the idea that bringing our company and theirs together would only make us stronger in the business industry. And they proposed that I get married to the daughter - Rosé.
"And before you ask, yes, Rosé, with a fucking accent. Now, I'm not sure if you've ever heard of the lovely Rosé Dannhauser, but this girl, is the definition of a slut - and I truly apologize for having used that word. We're talking sleeping with five different guys in five different nights, using your best friends at parties, - and yes, I mean ecstacy, lsd, and ghb - drowning herself in alcohol, and getting it on with five guys in the same party.
"My dad literally said 'whatever' and walked out the room, Adrianna. And to the Dannhauser's, that was fucking yes.
"I'm getting married to Rosé Dannhauser, against my fucking will," he finished, seething.
"And when the hell did all this happen?"
"Oh, you know, this fucking morning," he said in nonchalance.
"This morning?"
"Yes, the fucking Dannhauser's set up this meeting on a school day, during school hours. Now, we all know I hate school, but I'd rather be there than ever sit in the same room with the Dannhauser's."
"And your dad just doesn't care?"
"Not in the slightest."
"And your mom? What'd she say?"
"She didn't really say anything because when it really comes down to it, you can't really fight with the Dannhausers. They're always going to find a way around it to get things in their favor. But I mean, I can't really hate my father, he didn't say yes, he just said whatever and left. I'm just mad that I didn't even get a say and that we didn't put up a fight," he sighed.
"We'll find a fucking way out," I grounded out, feeling my mood take a one-eighty. This was not gonna fucking happen.
"I don't know Adri, I don't know," he sighed.
———
+via james bay
i wanna drink pink lemonade, watching movie trailers til it's late
«author's note»
i actually do apologise the ending of this is actual shit. but this chapter's a bit more of a filler than anything. the next chapter's definitely gonna have some action though :)
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—sabrina x