I look at the only picture of them in my phone.
I remember all of the event.
When I'm still young and fangirling over them.
When I always dream to meet them.
When I was crying whenever they were hurt.
And the most vivid image in my head is when I cried that night until I can't sleep because of them.
It hits me really hard, the reality that they disbanded after all those years of struggling.
I refused to eat because I feel like I didn't even know what hunger feels like.
I throw everything away.
The thought of me meeting them is already destroyed.
And even after a year, I didn't changed and I never know when will I move on from this life.
"How can I move on when they were my inspiration?" I said as I stared at their picture.
"They kept me alive when I feel like dying. They do everything just to make me happy. They are the reasons why I can lived my life without worrying about what will the people around me said about me."
Those words was the words I want to tell them when I meet them, but I guess it wasn't meant to be.
And I wish that I can tell them the words that I want to say since the day I know them.
"I never get to say thank you to you. Thank you for existing in my life. Thank you because if I didn't know you, I will never know the meaning of life. Thank you for everything."
Still staring at the picture, a single tear dropped on the screen and the next thing I know, I was crying hardly, tears streaming down my cheeks without stopping.