Don't forget to comment down your thoughts. I love reading and learning from them. Thank you!
-----
Chapter 11
Ran Away
I was lost in the middle of my thoughts while driving on my way to the restaurant, but when I saw my mom waiting at the restaurant's entrance, I quickly parked my car to attend to her.
"Mommy..." I called her attention when I was already closer.
She turned to me and her face immediately beamed. Mabilis siyang lumapit sa akin at hinalikan ako sa aking pisngi bilang pagbati.
"They are already inside. I told them that I will wait for you to arrive," she said.
"You could've just waited inside, mom. Dadating naman ako," sabi ko.
Umiling naman siya at saka muling ngumiti. "Sandali lang naman akong naghintay," sabi niya. "Anyway, halika na sa loob at ipapakilala na kita sa kanila."
Hindi na ako nakapagsalita pa at agad na akong hinila ni mommy papasok sa loob. Kung sobrang nasasabik siya kahapon ay mas malala pa ang pagkasabik na pinapakita niya ngayon.
Malayo pa lang ay nakikita ko na ang pamilyar na mukha ng mga Ortiguera. Ang mag-ina ay nakangiti habang nag-uusap at hindi napansin an gaming pagdating hanggang sa tuluyan na kaming nakarating sa lamesa.
I saw how quick Dylan's eyes shifted from his mom to mine, and I looked away to face his mother instead. The smile he was wearing just a few moments ago faded.
I can't help but to notice how his eyes seemed so familiar. It was somehow strange. Those deep set of cold eyes reminded me of someone else's eyes.
I smiled at Madam Ortiguera in front of me who was already eyeing me with a pleasing stare.
"Is she your daughter, Erina?" she asked my mom with a smile plastered on her face.
"Yes, she is," Mom proudly answered and held my arm. "She looks more like her father than me."
Madam Ortiguera laughed before she lent out her hand to me. "Hello, Zarina. I believe that's your name."
Tumango naman ako at ngumiti bago tinanggap ang kanyang kamay. "Nice to meet you po, Madam."
"Oh! Don't call me Madam, Zarina. Just Tita Sylvia," she said.
"Okay po, Tita Sylvia," sabi ko na lang.
Inilipat naman niya ang tingin sa kanyang anak. I tried to peek at his son only to find him still giving me the same dark stare. Gusto kong umiwas ulit ng tingin pero kaysa gawin 'yon ay ginawaran ko na lang siya ng isang matamis na ngiti.
I saw his lips slightly parted when I smiled and, it somehow melted the ice on his eyes.
"This is my only son, by the way," she started to introduce her son. "He is Dylan Ortiguera. I'm not sure if you're familiar with each other or not..."
"It's my first time meeting him, Tita," I honestly said.
"We actually met before," he suddenly said that made my eyes widened in surprise.
Muling nadirekta ang aking tingin sa kanya. Natahimik naman bigla ang aming mga ina dahil sa bigla niyang pagsasalita.
"We've met before?" Hindi makapaniwala kong sabi.
I tried to remember all the faces I've encountered when I was in the Philippines, but I really can't remember him. Or... did I actually meet him when I was still in New York?
"In New York..." he said.
Napakunot naman ang aking noo at muling inalala ang mga mukhang nakasalamuha ko sa New York ngunit hindi ko siya maalala.
"I can't remember. I'm sorry..." I shook my head.
His jaw slightly clenched beforehe grinned. "It was during my cousin's party last year," he said. "She is Serefina, by the way. I'm sure you're friends with her that's why you were invited."
My lips parted when I remembered Serefina's party last year. I was friends with her, but we were not that really close.
"Oh! It's nice to know that you're friends with my niece," Tita Sylvia commented, but I was too indulged with remembering her son to notice.
Nanatili ang pagtitig namin ni Dylan sa isa't isa. Sobra ang aking pagiging determinado upang maalala kung paano kami nagkakilala noon sa New York. I wasn't even drunk that night not to remember him.
"You were sitting by the pool alone because you didn't join your friends in dancing. You just stared at the calm water, drowning in your thoughts maybe," he started to help me remember the scene. "And that was when I approached you to give you some punch but you refused."
Bahagya namang nanlaki ang aking mga mata nang maalala.
"You're also the guy who told me that I looked broken hearted!" I said as I finally remembered.
Sumilay naman na ang ngiti sa kanyang labi nang maalala ko siya at natawa naman ang aming mga ina kaya agad akong nahiya.
Our moms kept on blattering how amazing it was that we already met each other before as we ate our lunch. Ilang na ilang naman ako dahil alam ko ang gusto nilang ipunto. Alam ko kung ano ang gusto nilang mangyari sa aming dalawa ni Dylan.
Maybe I should talk to Dylan about what our moms were planning to do. I was sure he wasn't that dense not to notice their plans for us.
Naiwan naman kaming dalawa nang magpaalam sila mommy upang pumunta ng banyo. Panigurado namang gusto lang nila kaming mapag-isa ni Dylan at magkausap.
The atmosphere was awkward but he already became less intimidating when he smiled at me earlier. Gumaan na ang pakiramdam ko sa kanya nang dahil sa pagngiti niya sa akin.
Pinagpatuloy ko na lang ang aking pagkain para matapos na ako kahit na nararamdaman ko ang kanyang pagtitig sa akin na nagpadagdag sa aking pagkailang.
"I'm sure you know by now about what kind of future awaits us, Zarina," he suddenly spoke to me.
Napatigil naman ako sa pagkain at saka nag-angat ng tingin sa kanya.
"Our mothers want to marry us off," he made it clearer.
Halos manginig ako sa takot dahil sa sobrang pagkaseryoso ng kanyang boses.
Napalunok naman ako at saka pinilit na ngumiti. "Alam ko..." sabi ko. "Pero huwag kang mag-alala. Alam ko namang ayaw mo. Kung parehas naman tayong umayaw sa kagustuhan nila ay paniguradong hindi rin 'yon matutuloy."
Ang kanyang mga mata ay nanatili ang pagkakatitig sa akin habang tinitimbang niya ang aking emosyong ipinapakita.
"We can just tell them that we both don't want―"
"Sino ba ang nagsabing ayaw ko?" tanong niya na nagpatigil sa akin sa pagsaslaita.
My eyes widened with his question. I was caught off guard that I didn't even get the chance to find the write words to answer his sudden question.
"I'm fine being married to you," he stated.
My forehead slightly creased because of his statement. "Don't you want to marry someone you love?" I asked him.
"Well, I'm not in love at this moment..." he trailed before he continued. "But it looks like you're not that hard to love, Zarina."
Para naman akong nabingi sa kanyang sinabi. Ano ba ang gusto niyang iparating?
"There's something inside me that makes me want to know you more," he didn't stop making me confused with his words. "And if you will give me a chance, I want to date you."
Lutang ako habang papasok sa aming bahay. Si mommy naman ay patuloy lang sa paglalahad ng kanyang pakiramdam kung gaano siya kasaya dahil naging maganda ang pakikipagkita namin sa mga Ortiguera habang naglalaro pa rin sa isipan ko ang mga binitawang salita ni Dylan.
Huminga ako ng malalim at nagpaalam kay mommy bago dumiretso sa aking kwarto. Hindi naman niya ako pinigilan dahil tuwang-tuwa siya sa akin.
"Dylan Ortiguera? The bachelor president of Ortz?" Elle probed.
Nagkwento ako sa kanya patungkol sa nangyari kanina a kasalukuyan kaming nagvi-video call ngayon.
"Yes..." I answered and nodded.
"Oh my God, Za! Maybe this is the answer that we've all been waiting for," she dramatically said. "Baka siya na ang sagot para makalimutan mo na ang nararamdaman mo para kay Jace."
"Elle, ayokong gumamit ng tao para makakalimot," sabi ko.
"You're not gonna use him, Za. You're just going to give him a chance," she tried to clear it out for me. "It will be a win-win situation for the both of you if ever you actually fall for him along the way."
"What if I don't fall for him, then?" I asked her.
Kumunot naman ang kanyang noo. "Parang tinanong mo na rin na paano kung hindi mo makalimutan ang nararamdaman mo para kay Jac," sabi niya. "Execute more effort in forgetting him, Za. To be honest, being away from him wasn't your best. You just missed him along the way. Try moving on when you're near. I think it's more effective."
I tried to plot inside my head how will I move on in process. I knew that it will be hard, especially because of my incoming project which he's the Architect. We needed to interact constantly.
But maybe, once I'm already used to his presence, it'll be easier for me because I'm done thirsting for his for his attention. I'm already sufficed.
"Zarina..."
Bumukas bigla ang pintuan ng aking kwarto at kita kong dahan-dahang naglakad si daddy papasok sa aking kwarto kaya naman umupo ako ng maayos sa aking kama.
"Daddy..." I smiled and kissed him on his cheeks when he sat beside me.
He smiled at me, but the pity underneath his beam was very visible.
"Your mom told me how happy she was when you joined the lunch meeting with the Ortigueras," he started talking. "You didn't tell me that your mom invited you. I could've stopped her from doing so. I know you didn't want it."
Muli naman akong ngumiti para ipakita sa kanyang ayos lang sa akin ang nangyaring pakikipagkita sa mga Ortiguera.
"I may not like the idea at first, dad... but maybe, it's for the best," I just said.
His forehead slightly creased like he didn't hear my words right... like I said the wrong things.
"Are you saying that you're okay with what your mom is planning to do with your future?" he asked. "Don't you like Jace, Za?"
"It doesn't mean naman po that if I like him, siya na talaga," sabi ko at hindi makapaniwalang lumabas iyon mula sa aking bibig. "I'm still young, daddy. I should give Dylan Ortiguera a chance to prove himself to me. Maybe in that way, my childish heart will now grow and find someone who's better."
I'm done chasing someone who doesn't want to be caught. It's time for me to do the running and be chased.
The sun had already risen when I woke up the next morning.
Thoughts from yesterday's realizations flowed and barged inside my mind with a strong current, making me very determined to guard my heart and do what's best for me.
I smiled because of the overflowing determination that I was feeling, but one chime of my phone because of his message made my smile fade.
From: Jace
Good morning! I'll pick you up at your office before lunch.
Napabuntong hininga naman ako at agad na binura ang kanyang mensahe nang walang pagdadalawang isip. Hindi na ako nag-abala pang magreply sa kanya.
From now on, everything about my commitments with him is purely for business.
I was about to eat my breakfast when I sensed that our dining seemed to be chaotic. Nag-iingat akong pumasok sa loob nang makitang nagtatawanan si Dylan at mommy habang nag-uusap silang dalawa at kumakain ng breakfast. Si daddy ay tahimik lamang sa kabisera habang nagbabasa ng dyaryo.
I wasn't expecting Dylan's presence today, early in the morning.
"Oh! There she is!" Mom excitedly said when she saw me entering the dining room.
Agad namang inilipat ni Dylan ang kanyang tingin sa akin at si daddy naman ay sinulyapan ako bago ibinalik ang tingin sa binabasa.
I kissed both my parents on their cheeks and greeted good morning before I gave Dylan my attention.
"Good morning," I greeted him and smiled. "What brings you here?"
"Well, I asked Tita if I could drive you on your way to work and she agreed that's why I'm here," he said.
Nilingon ko naman si mommy at kitang ngiting-ngiti siya. Gusto niya talaga ang kung anomang nangyayari sa amin ngayon ni Dylan.
"Nakakahiya. Hindi naman na kailangan pang gawin 'yon. I have my own car," sabi ko at saka umupo sa kanyang tabi upang makakain na.
"I just really want to know you more, Zarina. Huwag mo na sa aking ipagdamot pa 'to. Nagsisimula pa lang ako," sabi niya naman at punong-puno ito ng sinseridad.
His sincerity moved my heart and allowed him to drive me on my way to work.
We talked about trivial things about him. He was exerting more effort in opening up to me, while I was still closed and locked. I thought when I looked at his eyes when I first saw him yesterday, he will be just like Jace. But seeing how expressive he was to me, I realized that he's far from him.
From that arctic feeling when I'm with Jace, everything suddenly became warm with him. If Jace is winter, then he is in the middle of spring and summer.
When I was already inside my office, I worked and did some paper works to be productive and to kill the time. Nang matapos naman ako sa mga gawain ay nagsimula na akong magcellphone at agad tumungo sa aking gallery.
There was a folder there that's solely for Jace. It contained all of his pictures that I have on hand.
Before I can even convinced myself to stop from what I was about to do, I immediately deleted the folder of his pictures. From a number of thousand photos, it was down to two hundred.
Napabuntong hininga naman ako at nagdesisyon na lumabas ng opisina. I went to the rooftop where there was a mini garden house in order to let myself breath.
Kung iisipin mo ay parang kay dali lang gawin na makakalimot, pero kapag ginagawa mo na ay kay hirap.
Paano mo nga ba kasi makakalimutan ang taong nagturo sa'yo kung paano magmahal kung siya lang ang natatanging depinisyon ng pagmamahal na alam mo?
You will just keep on coming back to him because for you, he is the meaning of love.
He is love.
My phone suddenly rang in the middle of tranquility that brought back the chaos.
Jace's name was plastered on my screen as the incoming caller. I stared at it for a brief moment before I decided to answer it.
"Hello?" I tried to sound like I was fine when I answered the call.
There was a long silence at the other line. His heavy breathing was the only sound I can hear.
"Hello, Jace?..." I spoke again to see if he was really calling me or he just happened to accidentally press the button. "Are you there?"
He breathed out violently to prove that he was on the other line.
"Turn around..." he simply said.
Napakunot naman ang aking noob ago unti-unting tumalikod upang sundin ang kanyang sinasabi.
My lips slightly parted when I saw him standing a few meters away from me while he was still holding his phone against his ear and staring at me with his cold eyes. It was even colder than the wind blowing at the top of the building.
Napalunok naman ako at ibababa na sana ang cellphone upang mapatay ang tawag dahil nasa harapan ko naman siya nang muli siyang magsalita.
"I thought you ran away again..." he whispered on the other line, but since we were talking on the phone, I heard it clearly.