Even before I reach the weapons shed, I can hear the lovely sound of the Tweedles arguing.
"She needs a sword!"
"No, she needs an axe!"
"An axe is too big!"
"Well so is a sword!"
"Nu-uh!"
"Ya huh!"
I clear my throat as I walk inside, immediately silencing the twins' argument.
"Hi Alice!" They say together, and I roll my eyes. They'll keep doing that, might as well not let it creep me out.
"So I heard your argument. I'd prefer to-"
"Alice!" Dee's squealing cuts me off in mid-sentence. "Your dress!"
Oh yeah.... I'm still wearing it. It's so comfortable that I almost forgot I had it on. "Yeah.... The Hatter made it for me..."
"Awesome!" They yell together, and I wince. For some reason, I have a headache. Weird.... I never get headaches.... Oh well.
"So, as you were saying?" Dum asks politely.
"Oh.... I was just saying that I'd prefer to travel light. I have the dagger I found and the switchblades that I brought with me, a bow would be nice, but I don't think I'll need much else."
Dee nods in agreement, and Dum returns with a bow and a quiver of arrows. Odd... I didn't even see her leave. "Here, try these out. They should work for you." She says, thrusting them into my hands.
I nod, and notch an arrow, aiming at a target out in the distance. I let go, and it slices through the air, burying itself in the bull's-eye. I look at the Twins, and they nod.
"It works."
I nod again, and begin to walk away. "I gotta go see the Dormouse." They nod and wave me away, promptly returning to arguing about who-knows-what.
Hmm.... Where would the Dormouse be...
I walk over to the table, but she isn't there anymore. I walk into the house and check the dining room, living room, and kitchen. Where in the world could she be? I stand there for a moment, looking stupid, then, "Oh.... She's probably in her room..." Dumb blonde moment. No, I'm not blonde, but the original Alice was. Maybe I got it by being in her place.
Anywayz, I walk upstairs and gently knock on the door.
"Come in!" She calls, and I walk in. "Just... Uhm... Sit anywhere you can that you can find..." She tells me, glancing uncertainly around the book cluttered room.
I step over piles of books like I'm in the middle of a mine field, and make my way to the bed-the only place available to sit. "So... You wanted me to come see you?"
"Yep," she responds brightly, "I thought I could tell you about some stuff before we leave. So, first of all, do you have any questions for me?"
I think for a moment, and then remember my question from yesterday. "Why is there sunlight if we're underground?"
"Actually, we're not underground." she says, and I look at her quizzically. "Well, the 'Rabbit Hole' is really a portal to Wonderland. We're not exactly like your world. For one, we have magic, and two, we have two moons." She explains, obviously glad to share her knowledge. "That's why Alice got the whole idea about Ches' grin being the moon. Really, she just saw a regular full moon, and a waning crescent, and assumed it was Ches because he happened to show up."
Makes sense... But... "Wouldn't both moons be the same?"
"Nope. Our sun hits them both differently because they're positioned at different places."
"Oh okay. By the way, on the map of Wonderland... The Maze of Mirrors, what is that?"
The Dormouse visibly tenses at my words, and is quiet for a few moments before answering. "That's the only thing in Wonderland that I don't know much about. I don't think anyone really does except maybe the Blue Caterpillar and-" she stops suddenly, looking like she almost said too much.
"Who?" I ask, prodding her for the information.
"The-The White Queen," she says reluctantly, "but no one's seen her since Alice..."
She's probably worrying that I'll go off and do something stupid, and get myself killed. Okay, I'll probably do a few stupid things, but I'm not exactly the suicidal type. Well, in any case, I don't want her worrying about me, so I smile and say, "It seems interesting, so I might ask the Blue Caterpillar when I see him, but that's as far as I'll go."
She smiles back at me, relieved. "Okay, any more questions before I begin?"
"Um, yeah. How are all of you guys the same age as you probably were when the original Alice was here?"
"Well," she says, acquiring that 'technical' tone of voice, "We do age, just mentally rather than physically. In Wonderland, people stop aging physically at eighteen years old. That's one of the reasons the mortals on Earth chose that to be the age you enter adulthood. Whether they realize it or not, Wonderland impacts Earth in almost everything."
Wow... Crazy... "So, how old are you?"
She looks at me with a face that says 'Did you really just ask me that?' "You know it's impolite to ask a woman her age."
"Sorry," I mumble, "I didn't mean to be rude."
"It's okay." She shifts her body so that she's sitting cross legged in front of me. "I'm actually the youngest out of the whole group here."
"Really?" I ask, surprised. It's not like she looks old or anything, obviously, it's just everyone acts so immature and childish, and she's so sophisticated and smart.
"Yeah..." She looks down at her lap." I know sometimes it doesn't seem like it because I know so much, I am... I'm only a couple hundred h\years old."
My eyes widen. "Uhm... Only?"
"Yeah... Everyone else is at least a thousand years older than me. Except, of course the 'normal' people and the card soldiers."
I decide to ignore the age comment, and move on. "So how does everyone else age?"
"Well, the card soldiers and the normals age like normal humans, and we- the half animal half immortals- stop aging at eighteen years old. That's the same with the nobles- even a drop of that blood in your veins, and you're immortal. But, there aren't many of them anymore. The White Queen swore to be a pure, virgin queen; and the Red Queen," she speaks the name like a curse, "never had any children- as far as we know."
"Wait a second- I thought the White Queen went all psycho 'cause her boyfriend got killed. Where's the virgin queen in there?"
"We suspect that if he were to survive, he would be the exception. They were soulmates- anyone who saw them together knew that their love was true." She says this in a wistful tone.
Did this girl dream about a knight in shining armor? The perfect man to sweep her off her feet? It seems silly to think that this super-human genius wasted even mere seconds on the thought of such improbable thoughts, but if you think about it, she's a prisoner. She's a genius, with no room for silly dreams and impossible fantasies, and yet her heart yearns for more. She's held captive in her own mind... And maybe she doesn't even realize it.
"So do you want to hear what I wanted to tell you, or can I go back to sleep?" She says, her voice back to normal.
"Continue, please." What she has to say is definitely important, and will probably save my life at least once.
"This is all information you'll need to survive in Wonderland. Don't say anything in the forest that you wouldn't want broadcasted to all of Wonderland. Don't eat anything anyone gives you, whether that person is a little kid, a friendly mother, or a cute boy, trust no one. Once the Red Bitch finds out you're here, she will send people to kill you. Don't wander off alone," She gives me a look as if to say 'like you did last night', "and dont fall in love." I look at her, expecting the last remark to be a joke, but she's serious. "We need you alive and kicking. Meaning- we need you to have spirit. If your heart gets broken, we can say goodbye to that."
I nod. "I understand."
"Thank you. Now, you're going to meet the Blue Caterpillar, and he's a bit... odd."
I snort. "No, you guys are the definition of odd'. So if you think he's weird, he must be batshit crazy."
She rolls her eyes and obviously decides to ignore that comment. "As you may have guessed from the story, he's smoking almost constantly. So, if you can't handle it- well, you'll have to deal with it anyway. He often speaks in riddles or rhymes, and he gets harder to understand the angrier he gets."
"So don't make the walking lung cancer angry. Got it."
"That means you probably won't want to be yourself."
"Whatever." I respond, then lay back onto the bed. "So is there anything else you want to tell me?"
"Not anything I can think of... I think I need-" She yawns loudly and suddenly seems to have trouble keeping her eyes open. "I think I need a nap..."
I nod and get up, understanding when I've been dismissed. "Sweet dreams." I exit the room and walk into the long hall of doors. I suddenly have the urge to curl up in my beautiful room and fall asleep.
I drag myself up the stairs into my room, my limbs suddenly heavy. I collapse on the bed feeling very much like the Dormouse, and close my eyes.
As I drift off to sleep, I think I feel someone kiss my forehead, but I'm too sleepy to care.