IT (A Bob's Burger Parody)

By hothamandcheeseday

1K 28 10

Several months after Andy Pesto mysteriously disappeared from sight on a rainy October afternoon, his older b... More

Foreword
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By hothamandcheeseday

Jimmy Jr road his bike into the driveway of the Ocean Avenue house, the rest of the kids following behind him.

He hopped off his biking, trudging towards the front door of the 'crackhouse'.

"Jimmy! Jimmy, what the hell?! You can't go in there!"

The boy turned around, tears on his mind.

"I don't want to, I have to. What will happen when another Andy goes missing? Another Tina Belcher? Another Chloe Barbash? Another Lenny DeStefano? Or one of us?"

The kids turned to gaze at each other, the thought of disappearance haunting their minds.

"I don't wanna just sit around waiting for another kid to go missing. I go home everyday and all I see is that Andy isn't there. His toys, his books, his fucking clothes! My parents aren't the same, and everything is a fucking sympathy show! So walking into this house, is easier than walking into my own!"

Tears blurred the boy's vision, turning into the house.

Louise and Rudy followed him, terrified but determined to uncover something.

"Wow."

"What?"

"He didn't stutter once."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The house was disgusting and demonizing, almost abandoned in a way so unsafe it was scary.

There were dust scattering the old shelves and bookcases that littered the place.

Rudy almost tripped over cobwebs and rocks buried deep in the dusty carpets.

Louise noticed a cobweb clinging to what she believed was a tree.

A piece a paper that stuck out like a sore thumb caught her eye.

As she approached the "tree" to study the paper, it all became clear.

It was a missing sign..

A missing sign of her.

Missing

Louise Angelina Belcher

Born February 23rd, 1977

If found, please contact Seymour's Bay police department

Louise's eyes widened as she read the paper, choking on each deep breath she took.

"What the fuck?!"

Rudy and Jimmy Jr ran from the living room over to the girl, who was now beyond hyperventilating.

She held out the paper to Jimmy Jr and Rudy, who studied it with fear their eyes.

"It's me. That's fucking me! That's my hair, those are my ears, that's my shirt, that's my-"

Jimmy Jr grabbed the girl by her shoulders, causing her to steady her breath.

"I-I-it's just trying to make you scared. Your not missing, so this isn't real."

Rudy's eyes wandered the room, focusing on a familiar face peeking through a cracked open door.

Millie Frock.

Rudy remembered seeing the girl in class, she was always so energetic and happy.

Rudy remembered the day he came to school and her desk was missing, along with her name card and her good behavior chart.

Rudy remembered seeing her name in the news paper.

Middle schooler Millie Frock missing.

It was her face, her frightening grin that kept him awake the nights he was partnered up with her for a project.

It was so eerie, who the hell would kidnap that demon?

IT would.

He stared at her, his body frozen in its stance.

Millie's grin turned inhumanly, before her body seemed to snake away.

Rudy approached the door, leaving Jimmy Jr and Louise alone.

Louise seemed to notice her best friend was gone.

"Where's Rudy?"

Jimmy Jr turned his attention to the open door, his breath stiffening as he realized what happened.

Louise pulled Jimmy Jr's sleeve as they both ran through the door, sprinting down the eerie hallway.

Rudy stood in the darkness, his eyes wandering the walls.

"Rudy."

He heard the familiar voice echo the hallways, his mind becoming incapsulated in fear.

Jimmy Jr pushed the door open, Louise trailing behind him.

The door led to a room that was covered in cobwebs and dust.

As Jimmy Jr was examining the room, Louise noticed another door, open wide.

"Rudy?"

She wandered aimlessly into the room, hoping that her best friend would be hiding.

Rudy noticed them, shouting a "guys!" before walking towards his comrades.

But before he could reach them, a door, seemingly appearing out of nowhere, slammed shut in his face, locking him inside the hell.

He grabbed at the doorknob, shaking it vigorously as if it would just fly open.

Rudy felt Jimmy Jr and Louise shaking the knob on the other side, yelling in fright.

After giving up on the door, the asthmatic boy noticed a light window down towards the hallway, drawing in his attention like a child with candy.

Jimmy Jr and Louise whipped their heads around to gaze into the piercing gaze of someone they thought was dead a long time ago.

Chloe Barbash

Louise remembers seeing the news report on tv, drooling into her Sunday comics.

"Local Seymour's Bay youth reported missing by the Wharf police this Sunday."

Louise remembers calling Rudy, almost bawling into her leather jacket.

Louise remembers not being able to get over Chloe's death for awhile, it had been over a month since she had an outburst, which she was clearly proud of.

Louise's eyes filled with tears, hoping that Jimmy Jr hadn't noticed.

The apparition of Chloe winked at Jimmy Jr, almost sinisterly.

"Want a smoke, lover boy?"

Louise started bawling as Chloe snakes away, her hand covering her mouth.

Jimmy Jr crept towards the door that produced Chloe's corpse, whipping out Zeke's switchblade from his pocket.

He noticed a head, almost similar to Lenny DeStefano's pop out of the deteriorating mattress in the corner of the room.

"Fucking losers!"

Lenny's head started to shake almost inhumanly, a black slime-like substance rushing out of his mouth like lava.

Louise shrieked, Jimmy Jr almost threw up.

Louise backed up, turned her back towards the disturbing mess.

She noticed another door on the other side of the wall.

It was open ajar, tall objects Louise couldn't identify were standing inside.

She crept towards the room, the objects becoming more noticeable.

They were clown statues.

She entered the room, shaking to herself, not letting fear take its toll.

She chuckled to herself, rolling her eyes at the simple prank.

But it was no prank.

Louise turned to leave, but the door slammed right in her face.

She jiggled the doorknob with all her strength, but it refused to budge, causing the bunny ear-clad girl to scream.

"Jimmy Jr! Help! Please!"

Jimmy Jr heard the yells of his friend from the room, jiggling the doorknob as the sounds of Louise's screams echoed.

Louise turned around to gaze at the clowns, shivering in pure fright.

She approached one, tapping on its hollow face obnoxiously, as if it was to lunge at her.

She noticed a coffin at the end of the corridor like room, small enough to fit a girl her size.

The coffin door swung open, revealing the missing sign depicting Louise, the words "found" written in crimson liquid.

Louise, remaining fearless but nonetheless terrified by the clowns, crept towards the coffin.

The coffin was smaller up close and personal, as if it was for someone doll-sized.

A black funeral shawl covered a shape so unfamiliar to Louise that it caused her brain to whirl with emotion.

What if it was Andy?

She pulled the shawl off the shape, revealing something that Louise would think about for days.

It was Louise, in a doll-like figure, her face being eaten out by tens of maggots.

The bunny ear clad girl rolled her eyes, believing that this was all a prank.

The coffin door slammed shut, Louise taking a surprised step back.

But before she could catch her breath, the coffin door swung open again, the clown, that fucking clown jumped right out of it.

It stood on the edge of the coffin, his yellow eyes tainted Louise in a matter so terrifying that she wish she had brought another part of jeans.

"Beep beep Louise."

Louise's eyes widened.

How the fuck did he know her name?

What was this thing?

Why was he going after her friends?

But before she could comprehend, the figure lunged at her.

The clown's arms were open wide, lunging almost in a inhumanly speed.

As if it wasn't human.

Louise jolted backwards, rushing to the door, her eyes never leaving the inhuman clown.

The second her hand reached the door, she clasped the doorknob and rushed out.

Jimmy Jr gazed at Louise, who was covered in sweat and tears.

Louise bit her lip as Jimmy Jr examined the room, turning his flashlight up to three doors marked,

Not Scary At All

Scary

Very Scary

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rudy walked down the hallways, his inhaler in his hand, slowly becoming covered in sweat.

He came upon a hole in the floor as he gazed down, his fear of heights kicking in.

He felt the presence of a hand on his shoulder, his head turning.

"Time to take your pill Rudy."

His eyes widened at the sight.

It was the leper, but inside his mouth was that of a pill that looked identical to his own.

Rudy felt his knees weaken under him, and his body tumbled backwards.

He felt himself land on a hard table, breaking through, an unbearable pain raging through his elbow, it was broken.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Louise and Jimmy Jr barely hesitated to pick which door to enter.

Not Scary At All

The room was deathly cold and dark, and a small light fixture hanging from the ceiling swung gracefully.

"Where's my shoe?"

As Louise turned on the light, the apparition of Tina Belcher appeared, hanging limp by her torso-less body.

Louise screamed as jimmy jr slammed the door shut.

"Where the fuck were her legs?"

This wouldn't be the last time they'd see a dead body.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rudy collapsed onto the floor, his head splitting with a headache.

He gazed over at a refrigerator in which the door creaked open, revealing the contortioning clown.

It's body twisted in many forms, before it's body went back to it's original, terrifying position.

It hunched forward, it's shoulders slumped, it's face grinning over at Rudy.

"Time to float."

Within an instant, the clown was waltzing towards Rudy, the door crying out in pain and fear.

The clown dropped to its knees, pulling Rudy's hand into its own.

It pretended as if it was going to eat Rudy's arm, before its eyes rolled back, and it's large grin appeared.

"Tasty, tasty, beautiful fear."

As if on command, the clown's mouth opened wider than humanly possible, reveal thousands of rows of sharp teeth.

Rudy moaned in fear, clutching his arm.

"Get the fuck off of Rudy."

The clown turned around, glancing at Jimmy Jr and Louise standing in the doorway near the fridge.

"Leave him alone."

The clown grinned.

"Am I not real enough for you Jimmy? I was real enough for Andy."

Jimmy Jr huffed in response, close to tears.

The clown jumped towards him, it's mouth gaping open.

It was emerging closer towards Jimmy and Louise, before the sharp impact of a stick impaling it's face stopped it.

It was Jocelyn who stopped the clown from causing further damage.

Courtney, Gene and Zeke stood beside Jocelyn, who shrieked out in anger.

Louise and Jimmy Jr rushed to Rudy's side supporting his arm.

Jocelyn backed away, crouching down int the corner next to Louise.

The clown turned, his face distorted from the spear in his face and his jaw less than that of normal.

It came closer towards Rudy, a claw ripping through it's gloves.

But instead of fighting back, the clown spun around and waltzed it's way out of the room.

Jimmy Jr huffed again and began to follow it, the rest of the gang unaware.

"Jimmy?"

Jimmy Jr had followed the clown enough to see it disappear into the well.

Courtney held Rudy's limp, dislocated elbow in her hand.

"I'm gonna snap it into place, okay?"

"Don't you fucking touch me Courtney! I swear to god I will fucking kill y-"

And with one snap, Rudy's arm was back into place.

As if that was the only problem they had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Rudolph Franklin Stieblitz get in the car now! I want to have a word with your little friends."

Rudy's Mom stared eerily at the gang, specifically at Jocelyn.

"You! Oh I know a lot about you Mr's Vanderbilt and I don't care what you say. I don't want a boy like mine hanging out with a little slut like you."

That was the last straw for the blonde, her hands tightening into fists.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I s-s-saw where I-It went! G-g-guys if we g-go back to-to-tomorrow-"

Finally, Courtney had absolutely enough of Jimmy Jr and his ideas of destroying this clown.

"James! I'm sick of this!"

The gang turned over to gaze at Courtney, her head held high and her long blonde curls waving behind her.

"I'm fucking tired of forcing myself to come with you guys and fight this shitty clown! I can't do this anymore!"

The blonde burst into tears, wiping her eyes with her wrist.

"It's summer! We're supposed to be having fun. This ain't fun James! This is scary and disgusting!"

Jimmy Jr remembered the blonde saying those words when they were searched through the barrens.

Before they met Gene.

Or Jocelyn.

Or recruited Zeke along.

"I agree with Courtney."

The gang turned to gazed over at Louise, who's almond eyes sparkled in the sunshine.

"Lou-Louise?"

"Dude, that fucking clown is going to kill us all. I just wanna enjoy life until it happens."

The rest of the gang remained silent, their focuses remaining on the ground.

Jimmy Jr hopped on his bike, mumbling a "Andy is not dead", before turning the opposite way.

And with that, the gang split up.

Whether for the good or the bad, they will never know.

Author's note: ahhh! I'm back! Sorry for the long wait! I've been pretty busy with school and graduation stuff lol! Thank you guys for the comments, they honestly make me smile! The next chapter will be a long one, I definitely promise. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!
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