01:58.
back at chanyeol's.
still shaking.
baekhyun wasn't sure how he'd actually managed to keep control of the steering wheel on the way home. the sparking lights had remained, all around his vision, crowding his brain and flooding his mind with an inability to utter correct statements. the mirage of the flames burning replayed in front of him. couldn't get rid of it.
lips trembled.
and as he pulled, very precariously, into the driveway, noticing roma's shifting in the backseat, the thudding of his heart against his chest was all he could hear. all he could decipher. chanyeol had been seemingly frozen to his seat, which was ironic. he hadn't uttered a word.
"i'm going to go for a walk," chanyeol admitted, with a whisper and a shudder.
was already undoing his belt.
"where?" baekhyun's questioning response pierced the thickened atmosphere.
eyes interlocked.
a fusion of a burning, dark and bright, fiercely powerful orange to a deepened auburn, filled with golden specks of flickering illumination.
all chanyeol did in response was throw the house keys into baekhyun's lap, and they landed with a loud metallic sound, followed by the rushed crunch of gravel beneath his feet, and the slamming of the door. and the distancing pattern of chanyeol's long and powerful strides, away from them and his home.
night silence.
roma's breathing was heavier than baekhyun had realised.
i'm so sorry. i'm so fucking sorry.
cut the engine.
outside, the air seemed to tremble in time to every one of baekhyun's movements, tremors reverberating around. baekhyun gulped down the lump in his throat. sweat poured from his forehead, trailing down his cheeks, the salty, uncomfortable taste reaching his mouth. reminders.
as she stepped outside, too, her hands were immediately clinging to his, despite the heat of the risen humidity. touching him to make sure that he was still real, and that he was still here. he held her close to him, wrapping his arms around her back and waist, burying his head into the crook of her neck.
"i'm so sorry, roma. i'm so, so, sorry. please, i'm sorry," he was mumbling, into the warmth of her skin, his grip becoming tighter and tighter. the heat was making him incomprehensible. he bit back the tears beginning to form.
"why are you sorry?" she spoke timidly, practically peeling herself from his skin. still held onto his arms.
"what do you mean, why am i sorry?" he answered incredulously, letting out a light laugh.
"baekhyun, this isn't your fault."
for some reason, he felt angry. and he saw fire again. angered at her naivety, sometimes. at the fact that she just took things as they were. only sometimes. but also, he wasn't thinking straight. the heat of the environment was also getting to him, distorting his thoughts and words, blurring the lines between the real and the imaginary, combining the colours.
"for fuck's sake, yes, it is my fault!"
his sudden outburst was met with frightened eyes and trembling lips, as roma pulled away, scared of him, perhaps. he looked at her; mouth hanging open slightly, hair billowing in wisps around the outlines of her shining face, a look of determination stretched into her exhausted features.
glowing.
"roma, this is all my fault. you shouldn't even--you shouldn't even be here! i shouldn't have got you involved, it's too dangerous and complicated for you, and i'm such a fucking idiot, and i'm sorry, i just--i just need to sort things out and i've fucked things up for you--"
he was rambling; very unlike him.
"how have you?"
roma was shouting now, stepping closer again, facing him directly. power emanated from her stance.
baekhyun shook his head. put his hands over his ears and closed his eyes, shaking his shoulders. the lights from inside chanyeol's house were flickering ominously, even though they'd been turned off before, and baekhyun could see roma staring with trepidation at the interior of the home. the familiar look of realisation and fear.
a distant crash.
dashing lights reflected off of her shining orbs, framed with thick eyelashes, as roma's attention was diverted momentarily.
"roma, you don't--"
"you should've thought about that before you asked me to come with you, and before you took me to all of those places. i didn't ask you to, did i?"
her words were intentionally hurtful and honest, venomous, poisonous, in their tone. roma stared right at him. through her frustrated and irritated expression, her eyes glossed over with a sadness that touched his heart. he was hurting her; by standing the way he was, by not telling her the truth, by making her feel less of a person.
and he never meant any of that.
just, the heat of the moment, seemed the only plausible explanation.
"you're right," he breathed out from his mouth; exasperated and almost defeated.
roma's eyes grew bigger.
realisation.
and, more hurt.
sad girl.
"but i couldn't have done any of it without you."
and baekhyun's hands were cupping each side of her face fervently, filling his own soulless eyes with adoration from hers. focusing her. focusing himself, also.
"going back to all of those places would have been impossible, roma. without you."
roma's youthful and gentle face was crumpling, the edges dissipating, tears filling the corners of her eyes. she didn't know where to look, the gravel beneath her feet wavering, trying to look anywhere but him but it was impossible. drew her in, pupils dilating so that she was all he could see.
lights: on, off, on, off. repetitive.
"will you ever tell me why? because--"
demanding voice, smothered by the earth seemingly crashing around them, dimming and diminishing. fire ignited the overwhelming capacity of light, bringing out the dangerous hue and elements of the brightly burning orange, that seemed to in a momentary lapse engulf the glass mansion into obliteration.
but it didn't.
"it's really getting too much, now," she managed, over the uproar of silence.
"i know, i know," he was repeating, as his hands still held onto her, trying to make her understand through his desperate touch. it always felt like too much for baekhyun.
a crack. a sensation that reverberated within his bones and very being, almost knocking him over.
her tears fuelled his own powers. each glistening drop glided down the globe of her cheek, the dusty, hazy light producing a multitude of colours within the clear hue, shining and almost blinding him, if only he hadn't been captivated by the way her eyes were gleaming; begging him and asking him a thousand questions.
another crack.
"i know, i know, i know."
repetition; he was never going to escape it.
her hands were carefully but surely tracing up and down his bare arms, feeling him...baekhyun wasn't sure. perhaps she was making sure that he was real. fingers pressed down harder, the blood pulsing through his indigo veins, protruding due to the heat.
baekhyun pushed her hair back behind both ears. pouting lips and wide eyes.
his heart was pounding, and he couldn't stop it, and it made the lights flash harder and brighter and at more dangerous intervals, across his vision, so that roma's body was patterned with intricate trails and spots of lightning-white. didn't see it herself.
the way she was looking at him was making it difficult for him to breathe. rounded pupils and softened irises turning into a darker, deep blue, like the ocean depths. he'd never experienced that sensation before. ever since he'd met her, after all the running and fear, he'd not had the same amount of control. at the same time, he had more power; was able to do more with what he held.
it didn't make any sense.
and her skin felt so soft and warm beneath his touch, as she melted into him, shutting her eyes slowly in frustration. and in love. her hair was being thrown backwards by the wind, and her white dress billowed in a circular motion around her.
so beautiful.
"i'm sorry," he croaked out, for lack of anything else to say.
"don't be, okay, just--stop," she responded in a breathy tone.
and then her hand was clasping the back of his hair, and her plump, trembling lips were on his, her actions dominant over his exhausted figure. and baekhyun reciprocated immediately, because this was what he needed; to have her. in every way that she would let him.
into him, body curved, her tongue dancing and feeling him. his back was pushed into the car, as the wind and earth continued to rush around them, orange, burnt dust flying and hurtling in detailed patterns. heat rising. the lights.
baekhyun struggled to breathe against her mouth, feeling his heart and blood palpitating in his chest. and her chest was pressed so close to his, the pendant hanging down in the middle, encircling her slender neck.
too intense.
needed her.
her hands were onto his shirt.
"not here."
mumbling and sighs. the dark night sky hovered and created and protected, surrounding the smudged canyons and crevices into an abyss of non-discernable darkness and light.
the double front doors burst open, flung aside by the increased tension in weather, allowing their moulded bodies to fall through into the large foyer. baekhyun kicked his shoes off and tripped over something, as roma didn't let him let go of her, her hands clutched tightly to his shoulders and frame.
glasses and windows wavered; amber flickers danced and reflected off of them, barely even distracting him from the way her lips moved, and the way her touch kept moving further and further down. where he needed her.
the staircase seemed long and endless as he picked her up--she didn't once stop kissing him--and strode upwards, careful but desperate with her. at moments, they were plummeted into darkness, the lights going; not once did he falter, continuing to move despite her increased quickness in breathing. soft, white material made her seem breakable.
chandelier: smashed.
falling down, and they both turned to observe its transparent remnants littered onto the marble flooring below the stairs, diminishing any source of light they had. the crash echoed around the silence of the empty mansion.
but, although very unlike her nervous character, roma didn't protest, or stare at him with a lost expression. her lips attached to his, with more fervour than before. and baekhyun couldn't breathe again. nor did he care about the lights anymore. he knew what mattered.
soon, roma's back was pressed against the closed bedroom door. they'd left it messy in the morning, the sheets crumpled into a pile on the bed, drawers opened, the windows wide, letting in the humid air from the night.
hands all over. shirt off, peeled from his back, nails digging into the skin. rough because she cared far too much. he always wanted to be gentle with her; soft and adoring and careful. not now. not when she was touching him in this way, like she needed him.
surge of power.
white dress tore in half, as baekhyun rid her shuddering body of its constraints. fell to the floor.
roma would normally cover, try to hide, shrink herself into the wall, to avoid him staring. but she looked right at him, skin exposed, as the metal from her necklace shone silver in the darkness. pushed her hair back.
her hands were pushing him back, further from the wall, towards the bed; he couldn't fight against her determination, fingers pressing and digging into his arms, one hand already onto his belt.
"roma," he sighed, with a strangled moan, against her, as his body was forced into a reclined position.
the clink of metal, dropped to the floor. window panes smashed against the wall; blown wide open. the lamp sparked, tipped off of the nightstand. fragments on the floor.
baekhyun saw stars, and wanted desperately to keep his eyes open, as she removed the remaining articles of clothing, until the stifling atmosphere clenched around him. she was in control this time. her pink mouth and her unsure movements, clouding his thoughts and restricting the breaths leaving his weakened state.
"oh, fuck," he let out.
the sight of her; long hair and exposed chest, legs either side of his own, focused on him. first time, and maybe it would have been different, if she hadn't given her life to him already. more cautious and nervous and the sound of her heart pounding, scared, would have been audible.
she cared too much. baekhyun could feel, her tongue, the heavy motion of her mouth, kissing his thighs, causing noises to ensue that made him squeeze his eyes shut and tense his muscles even harder. he could sense himself crumbling, and his mind surged, and the flood of light that hit their figures created dark, looming shadows that heightened the moment.
sat up, pulling her from her position and pushing her roughly onto the bed. stars circled his vision, dancing across her face. perspiration ran across her forehead, gasping, chest heaving up and down. her eyes were dark and big, and her lips were plumper, fuller in colour.
dark and then light. and baekhyun couldn't control his breathing either, toying with the pendant between his fingers, her hands gripped to his shoulders, tracing his collar bones. flashing colours. the other lamp disconnected and crashed to the floor.
"i need you," she whimpered.
he was gone. reached into the drawers in a rushed manner and breathed out heavily as his hand rolled over the trembling skin. roma stared, her hips forced upwards, against him, right there.
overwhelming sensation.
the lights.
baekhyun was erratic with passion and fear, his arms gripping the backs of her heated thighs, pressing his mouth to hers like nothing else mattered. and nothing else did. mind dazzled; her touch frenzied his thoughts, the feel of her choking his breath. nails raked his spine, soft mewls of appreciation leaving her warm lips in intervals.
"harder."
complied.
"fuck."
roma moaned, a beautiful sound, and baekhyun kissed her again and again.
baekhyun had never been this vocal.
he could feel himself about to collapse. lights dashed. his mouth trembling, as he suppressed a particularly loud groan by biting his lip, hard.
"baekhyun," roma sighed deeply. "baekhyun, oh--i can't--"
rushed movements.
"roma," baekhyun reciprocated, kissing her anywhere he could.
he could feel her thighs begin to shake desperately, her grip on him loosening. having already given her to himself already.
"i love you," he cried out into the crook of her neck.
she almost froze. hands and legs motionless. but then he picked up the pace again, finishing, and she wrapped around him even tighter.
fire and lights and lightning and thunder and the storm made everything seem worth it.
done; collapsing into her soft edges and dipping into the glistening skin, her warm breath fanning onto his chest, as he traced her face with his lips.
squeezed his eyes shut.
"i love you," he said again.
felt her smile against his lips.
kissed him.
and then it was dark, and he couldn't see anything.
could only feel.
//