A/N I don't think I should put out another apology on this... I've apologized SoOoOo much for not updating.
Here's the bottom line I guess -
I'm literally an adult, I have a full time office job and I have rent to pay and food to cook and I have to balance all this with a gym schedule and a social life.. I get to write my Fanfics when I go to bed which is from like 10pm to when ever I fall asleep. I have work at 8am which means I have to leave my house at 7am and be awake at like 630am. I can only afford to go to bed at like midnight some nights.
I am really really sorry - and don't think I just randomly complained here I just wanted to give you guys a valid reason as to why I haven't been updating. Being an adult is hard af and I regret it but it happens to everyone and here we are.
That being said please don't lose hope. I am trying to get in more updates. I am trying to get in more writing time. I am trying to provide you guys with the quality and work I promise when you first get into one of my works. It's just going to take a bit longer then before.
Random aside - I've had my wattpad account for like 6 years isn't that fucking crazy??
I'm working in balancing my life - thank you for understanding. Here's an update, I'll work on the next one and get it out as soon as I possibly can.
I love you all.
Barry XOXO.
♡♡♡♡♡
(Daniel’s POV)
I didn't have a good sleep, every time I shut my eyes I had that dream that made me feel sick deep down inside my gut. It wasn't a good feeling, I felt like I was going to be sick. David was silent all night and even this morning he was a little quiet until I said good morning to him. He smiled and said it back, but this was it for our conversation. I went into the bathroom and got dressed, brushing my hair and my teeth. I didn't know what the day was going to bring me but for some reason anxiety was boiling up inside my chest. I hated having nerves, and what made this even worse was the fact that I was aware of these nerves and yet they were still happening and I wasn't aware of how to get rid of them. I stepped out of the bathroom and right out the door of the cabin, outside the sun sizzled down on me and the warm summer air brushed past my skin, it was a nice day outside.
“Daniel! Can I get your help for a second!” I heard David shout from a distance, I looked out into the campground and saw him waving me over to him. I started walking towards him, smile on my face, I felt like maybe today would be a better day - positivity seemed to be crowding the air. David was standing with a couple of kids, I noticed Max right away because he was giving me a death stare.
“Ok Daniel is going to take half of you over to Art camp with Dolf and the other half are going to follow me on a science adventure with Neil!” David smiled, Neil sighed loudly.
“By science adventure do you mean we’re going to pick the mold off the kitchen stove again?” Neil spat, David crossed his arms.
“Just for that, this time you don't get to use the big scraper to scrape the mold off the stove.” David huffed, Neil swore under his breath and faced the ground. The kids started pairing off, Dolf was already beside me, paintbrush in hand while Harrison, Nerris and Space Kid came over. David had an extra kid in his group, so one of them would have to come over to me. David took notice to this and started scratching his chin.
“Max! You and Daniel got off to a rocky start how about you go with him for the day!” David cheered, I ground my teeth together as Max started to protest loudly. David shook his head.
“Now now, I know your separated from your regular friends but that just makes this whole day an even bigger opportunity for you! You get to make up with Daniel and make some new close friends!” David smiled, Max growled loudly and stormed over to me, Neil waved bye to him as David ushered his group away.
“You guys can go and do painting by the lake! The painting supplies are in the mess hall storage room, meet back there for lunch around 1, sound good?” David informed and asked me, I nodded to him in reply to all of his statements and he walked off. I got the kids to follow me over to the storage room and start taking out paint things, holding brushes and jars and tubes full of colours in my arms as the rest of the kids did the same - all except Max who just stood there and stared at me. Now I understood it - arguably, I hadn't been the nicest person in the world, however I didn't end up poisoning all these kids and don't plan on doing it so Max should be grateful no one is dead and he shouldn't be all moody. I started setting up easels with blank canvases by the lake shore, the view was perfect for painting. Dolf started right away, grabbing a pallet and creating colourful strokes. Space kid had paint on his helmet that he just kept smashing his canvas with and Nerris was taking her paintbrush and flinging paint around like it was her wand while Harrison dodge the paint Nerris was flinging. Max still just stood near a canvas and stared at me.
“What's wrong Max? Not inspired by this beautiful day?” I asked him, walking over with a paintbrush and some paint. Max pointed at me.
“Don't play dumb with me Daniel I know you're just pretending to act all nice. I don't know what got into you but you can't fool me, and you can't fool David for long either - he's an idiot but eventually hell believe me!” Max basically yelled this sentence. I frowned at him and narrowed my eyebrows.
“I don't know what's gotten into you - you need to relax and mind your own business that's for sure, you have way to much attitude in a small package.” I countered, Max grunted something and then took the paint and brushes from me swiftly, causing my arms to fly forward a bit. What an annoying child. I went back over to supervise the rest of the kids. A couple minutes went by and they were all just doing their own thing, the only ones really painting were Dolf and Max and I couldn't see what Max was painting. Dolf’s picture was of a ‘windmill’ as he told me, all I was seeing was a giant swastika but Dolf promised me it wasn't. I spotted Neil coming over to us and stopped him before he could get over to Max which was where he was heading.
“Hey kiddo, what's going on? Did David tell you you could leave his group?” I asked Neil, Neil nodded quickly and nervously;
“Yeah I just need to ask Max something” Neil told me, I raised an eyebrow at him but let him walk past me, I stood closer to Max and Neil to try and over hear their conversation. I was a pretty quiet and still day so just me leaning a bit closer I could pick up their words.
“Max I just wanted to ask about that thing you did in our tent yesterday-” Ne began, Max shushed him before he could continue.
“This isn't the time or place to talk about that C'mon now.” Max replied, part of me was now regretting eavesdropping on the pair.
“What the fuck are you painting?!” I heard Neil say loudly, this got my attention. I turned slightly to catch a glimpse of the two. Max took his painting off of the stand and stared at it.
“A masterpiece - I'm going to show it to David and tell him I painted from memory what Daniel was trying to do to the camp, he should at least believe me a bit more.” Max spoke to Neil. I felt a chill run up my spine, I didn't want Max showing anything to David especially if it was going to out me to him in any way shape or form. I saw Max pick up his canvas and start walking over to the mess hall with it. I made sure the other kids were distracted and then started rushing over to Max.
“Umm excuse me, Max, we're supposed to stay together and paint over here! Where are you going?!” I called out to him, he turned towards me and then began to run I chased after him and managed to catch up go him right in front of the mess hall doors. I grabbed him by the hoodie and he jerked back, tossing the painting on the ground and making a gagging noise. I saw the painting - a very violent mess of purple and red, with me standing in the middle an all the kids smiling, with blood covering their mouths and Kool-aid dumped all over their hands. I turned Max over to face me, staring at him with rage.
“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” I shouted these words, I was so full of rage and anger, I regretted not murdering this stupid kid all because of some brown haired boy that honestly wasn't special at all and just looked decent at the time. I was so mad at this terrible child that I didn't know what to do.
And then I did it, right as the mess hall door opened.
I slapped him in the face.
“Ahh! Dude what the fuck?!” he yelled and held his cheek, staring at me in shock and disbelief. I was breathing heavily, so angry that I didn't even noticed the huge mistake I just made. Max grabbed his painting and ran off behind me as fast as he could, rubbing the part of his face that I smacked. I was panting, the rage took over me in the moment. Now, I've murdered kids before so this shouldn't have phased me, what phased me was when I turned to face the door and saw David standing there staring at me. He had just watched me slap a kid in the face. The man I wanted to change for had just seen part of my bad side, the side I didn't want him to see, and I was trying to convince myself he wasn't special, as soon as I saw his green eyes staring at me the way they were I felt regret, something no one had ever made me feel.
“David I- I- I-” I couldn't finish the sentence because I didn't know what to say, my mouth was repeating the two words I had spoken but my brain wouldn't think up any other words to say. David came walking over to me and lead me away from the mess hall and off to the edge of the forest. He shushed me because I was still stammering, and he rubbed my shoulder.
“Hey, stop it for a second.” David spoke to me, I did. No more words came out of my mouth, nothing at all. He gave me a nervous smile and a little bit of a laugh.
“Max is a handful ok? I get it. So what you slapped him? Yeah it probably wasn't the best way to handle things but believe me Gwen has wanted to do the same thing before. Also, between you and mean, maybe I have at one point too.” David laughed a it again, his green eyes filled with compassion instead of anger or disappointment. He place his hands on my shoulders and looked at me.
“I smacked Nerf once, right on the side of his face too, and it was an accident, I think that this situation with you and Max might have been too.” David told me, his voice made me calm all the way down, I didn't know why David was so relaxed about this, but he was and he was making me feel relaxed too.
“Max is a problematic kid, he likes to push buttons, and I get why you did what you did. Next time you feel like that, call me over and I'll deal with him, alright?” David smiled at me, god his smile was intoxicating. I nodded to him slowly, he grinned even bigger, teeth showing a bit.
“Don't worry, your not fired or anything, we just have a new goal to work on! Not hitting kids!” David said it cheerfully, dammit there's no way this man was a real person. He was slow close to me right now, his hands still on my shoulders, his eyes still locked on mine, his face only inches away, the camp far away. I thought, what would he did if I leaned forward, would he lean to? Would I lean again? Would we end up touching? If we touched would he wash all the darkness away from my heart?
“C'mon Daniel! We’ll go back and we won't do separate groups again, that way if you ever need help I'll be there for you!” David smiled, stepping away from me and nudging me with his elbow. He ran off, wanting me to follow, and I did. This whole situation was a huge accident wasn't it? I didn't mean to abandon my old life for this boy.
But you don't regret all accidents I guess.