Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong to Hiro Mashima
Chapter 17: The Girl By The River
Natsu stood by the doors of the guild hall. He was waiting for Mira to come open the building so that he could choose a mission from the request board. Mira showed up about thirty minutes later.
"Good morning, Natsu.", Mira looked at Natsu with concern, "What are you doing here so early?"
"Good morning, Mira. I just want to pick a job request from the board. I don't really want to take a train so I figured I would get an early start."
Mira nodded and opened the door. Natsu headed straight to the request board.
She let herself into the building and immediately went into the kitchen to prepare Natsu some breakfast. By the time Natsu had picked his job she had a plate heaping with food ready for him.
"Sit and eat something.", she commanded.
Natsu shrugged and did as he was told. He handed her the request so she could write it down in her notebook and began to eat his food. Mira noticed that Natsu was once again wearing his scarf and it made her sad for him. They had been so happy yesterday, it really wasn't fair.
"Natsu, I'm really sorry this was done to you. You didn't deserve it."
Natsu tensed at her words but gave no other indication that he had heard.
'Are you doing this job to avoid Gray?", she asked carefully.
"No. He knows I'm leaving. We both need time to think things through."
"Natsu, don't ...", Mira sighed, not knowing what to say, "I liked the two of you together."
"I did too. I'll probably be gone for about a week."
Mira nodded and jotted it down, "Be safe."
Natsu thanked her for his breakfast and left. Mira continued with her preparations for the day.
Gray woke up with a start. Crap! He was going to be late for training. Natsu was going to be pissed. He got up quickly to get himself ready and that's when he remembered. There would be no training that morning. There would also not be any more team jobs. Team Natsu, for all effects and purposes, was no more.
When Erza had first suggested that they all work together he had been less than thrilled. After many jobs, though, he had come to really enjoy the closeness that they had carved for themselves. He had trusted all of them to have his back, had even trusted them with his past, and in the end it seemed that only Natsu had been worthy of that trust.
At the thought of Natsu, his heart felt heavy in his chest. He had a lot of thinking to do although he was fairly certain Natsu had already made up his mind. He knew the pink haired idiot well enough to know he had been saying goodbye last night, that the solo mission was more for him than for Natsu himself.
He quickly got ready for the day and headed for the guild hoping that he might catch Natsu before he left.
When he arrived it was mostly empty. He sat down at the counter and ordered some breakfast glancing at the door whenever it opened.
Mira saw him looking and said quietly, "He already left Gray. He was here first thing in the morning."
She handed him his breakfast. He looked at it disinterestedly but began to eat.
"Oh.", he said in a small voice, "Did he look ok?"
"As well as could be expected, I suppose."
"Did he say how long he would be gone?"
"About a week."
"Ok.", he smiled at her, "Thanks."
"Gray," Mira said sadly, "I'm really sorry this was done to you."
"Yeah, I am too. Thanks."
As he ate his breakfast he realized that the guild was actually the last place he wanted to be. He loved his family but he didn't want to spend the day listening to their apologies or dealing with their concern. He wasn't ready to go off on a solo mission either. He waved his goodbye to Mira and headed outside. Perhaps he would do some training afer all.
He practiced his magic but he was having trouble controlling his molding. His creations lacked the detail and precision that they usually had. He gave up and decided to go for a run instead. He ran the basic route that he and Natsu had been doing in the mornings. It helped him feel like the fire mage was near. He already missed him. When he felt like he could not run another step he started walking. Before he realized where he was going his feet had taken him to the river bank. The place where it had all started for them. He was surprised to see a familiar head of red hair already sitting there.
He supposed he should not have been surprised. The riverbank had started other things for him as well. His friendship with Erza had also started here, long before Natsu had even joined the guild. He had found her there, crying by herself. It was the first time he had ever seen her show any weakness and it had made him want to help ease her pain and be her friend. He noticed she was crying again. He wanted nothing more than to leave her there to her well deserved sadness but that small boy still lived inside him and would not let him do so.
He grudgingly walked towards the bank of the river and sat down next to her. She turned and looked at him with wide eyes. She wiped her tears away and looked back towards the river.
"Why are you here?", she asked, "I can't imagine you came looking for me."
"I didn't. This is where it started.", he said simply.
Erza nodded, not quite understanding but grateful to be in his presence.
"I find it very relaxing here.", she told him.
They sat quietly for awhile, avoiding the things that had to be said.
"Do you want to tell me about it?", Erza asked her foster brother gently.
Tell her about it? Had she had lost her mind? She was the last person he wanted to talk to at the moment. Then again maybe she needed to hear what she had done to him, to them. He wanted her to hurt like he did. It seemed only fair.
"When we got off the train from the Malba mission, I tried to talk to Natsu about our agreement but at first he wouldn't listen to me. So we ended up racing. That time we only didn't feel the urge to fight. I guess the potion hadn't taken a hold quite yet.", he stopped and glared at her.
Erza winced at the force of his glare but nodded at him to continue.
"We realized we weren't able to fight at all that night, at the guild, during the big brawl. We tried tried to hit each other but nothing happened. We could not make our fists move. I tried to talk to him the next day while he was training but that's when he made me run the world's fastest mile. That moron really does not like to talk through issues.", he smiled at the memory
Erza allowed herself a small smile remembering her other foster brother's preferred way of dealing with issues.
"Poor Natsu, that must have been really hard on him.", Erza said.
"Yes. It was.", he growled at her. How dare she say his name so casually after what she had done?
"Anyway, that morning is when we figured out that our magic was affected as well. You wanted to go on a mission the following day so we tested different things and figured the area of effect for our magic to work. Staying on the team was something that was important to both of us, but we wanted to make sure it was safe to do so. We went on that bandit mission and we tried planning everything so that we would not get in each other's way but it did not work out. Natsu lost track of me when he was running to help you and I was attacked. Loke saw what was happening and tackled me to the ground. Natsu blamed himself for leaving me defenseless."
He took a deep breath.
"The next morning we trained and Natsu led us here. He told me he was quitting the team. He was worried that I would get hurt because of his recklessness. Kind of ironic isn't it.", he looked at Erza pointedly.
"Gray, I'm so-", Erza started.
"Don't, I'm not done yet."
"He told me he would not leave me and we ended up kissing. We weren't in control then. Neither one of us meant for it to happen and it very much felt like something made us do it. He wanted us to tell someone then but I talked him out of it. He kept telling me that it wasn't normal but I insisted that we must be experiencing repressed feelings. I was convinced that part was real, even though I knew that we were under the influence of something. I wanted it to be real and I convinced him to let me kiss him againeven though he had already told me about Dragon Slayers and mates. I made him promise that if he felt something that he would put his stubborness aside and we would explore it. We spent all our spare time together after that, training or..."
"He was saying something about mates yesterday, what is the relevance?" Erza asked, remembering Gajeel's words, she wondered if this was what he had been referring to.
"Dragon Slayers are like dragons. They mate for life, and they only get the one mate. Their souls are joined and they are bonded. I don't know much more than that. If their mate leaves then they will remain alone."
"And you are Natsu's mate? You are bonded?", Erza asked carefully. She really hoped she had not condemned Natsu to a life of loneliness. He did not deserve that.
"Yes and no. He asked me to be his mate yesterday. We were celebrating our commitment when you and Lucy came along and destroyed everything."
Erza could not really argue the point so she chose to ignore it for now. At least Natsu was still ok.
"So the reason you were so moody during our mission was just you missing your, uhm, boyfriend?, Erza asked, she still felt a little strange about the two of them being together.
"Not exactly, Gajeel and Wendy had figured out something was up because of our scents and they wanted me to back off of Natsu because we had only gotten together after they noticed the change. I think they were worried about us performing the mating ritual before we knew what was going on. I was moody because I was worried that they were right and then I was worried that Natsu wouldn't feel the same anymore when he returned."
"You agreed to be his mate, you must really love him.", Erza said softly, "Will you be able to go back to the way things were before if that is what he wants?"
Gray did not answer her. He just looked at her eyes brimming with tears.
She wrapped her arms around him and held him. He tensed and tried to push her away but she would not let go. He gave himself over to silent tears. It hurt so much. It hurt to not know the truth. He heard her say quiet apologies as she tried to comfort him but she did not have the right to offer him comfort. He began to feel the anger again. This time he was able to pull himself away from her embrace.
"Why, Erza? Why did you do this to us? ", Gray screamed at Erza.
"We trusted you."
"The truth is, I don't know why I did it. I was angry at both of you and I was tired of your constant fighting. I thought that if you could get past your senseless bickering you would really see each other. All the things that we all see in you. Then you could be friends. It was selfish and stupid and reckless and I wish above all that I could take it back.", Erza said sadly.
"I hate myself for what I did. I have spent all my time thinking about how this has affected both of you. The pain I put you through in unforgivable. I keep remembering you telling me how you did not want the nature of your relationship to change and it breaks my heart to know that I did exactly that."
"I'm sorry Gray, and I know I have no right to ask for your forgiveness so I won't. I betrayed you and Natsu and nothing I say or do will ever change that. I can only hope that someday you might forgive me. I promise to work hard to earn it."
Gray stared at her. He wanted so much to hate her but he couldn't. He could still see the young girl in her, the one that would come to the river to cry by herself and he still loved that girl.
"We'll see. I am going back to the guild.", Gray said getting up. He offered her his hand in an unspoken question. It was only a first step but he supposed they had to start somewhere. Erza took his hand and together they made their way to the guild in slightly less uncomfortable silence.