Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong to Hiro Mashima
Chapter 16: Numb
Happy and Gray were trying to find Natsu. They had been searching for about an hour with no luck. Gray remembered Mira's words to him the previous night.
"Mira mentioned that you were upset with me about something. Do you want to talk about it?", Gray asked Happy
"It's ok, you have other things to worry about right now.", Happy said evasively. Now that he knew the truth about what had happened he felt bad about his accusations.
"Honestly, I would like to think about something else for awhile.", Gray said.
Happy sighed. He supposed he should just tell him and apologize. "I thought you had learned about Dragon Slayer's mates and were tricking Natsu into liking you so that he would end up alone forever. I know it's not true now and I'm sorry for even thinking it. I should have known better. I''m really sorry."
"You really thought I was capable of something like that?", Gray was genuinely hurt, "I would never do something that cruel."
"I know, it's just that the two of you were always fighting and then this. I didn't know what to think", Happy said sadly.
"That's alright Happy, I forgive you. You were only watching out for Natsu"
"Gray, what are you going to do when we find him? He left before he heard everything."
"I have to tell him the truth. We are in this mess because people weren't honest. I won't make it worse by doing the same.", Gray said earnestly.
"Are you ok?", Happy asked him.
"No. Let's go to the park, maybe he's there."
"Aye, sir."
They made their way to South Gate Park and finally saw Natsu sitting under the same Rainbow Sakura Tree where he had confessed to Gray just a few hours ago. He looked up and gave Gray a broken smile.
"Hey, Snowflake."
"Hi.", Gray said, feeling a little bit lost. He and Happy sat at either side of the fire mage.
"I find myself wishing that we had gone somewhere else for that drink.", Natsu chuckled dryly.
Gray snorted. "No kidding."
"Are you ok?", Gray asked more seriously..
"Hell no, I'm pretty far from ok. You?"
Gray shrugged. "I feel like I just went a few rounds with a Mountain Vulcan."
Natsu nodded in agreement. "So Erza, huh. Didn't see that coming. Lucy either. I guess I understand their reactions a little better now."
They sat quietly in companionable silence for awhile. Gray finally built up the courage to tell the fire mage what he needed to know.
"Natsu, I have to tell you something.", Gray began nervously.
"No, you don't.", Natsu replied.
"I really do."
"No, you really don't. Gajeel found me earlier. He already told me.", Natsu looked at the grass.
"Gajeel told you?", Gray asked surprised.
"Yes, he thought it was beyond cruel that you would have to. Bastard's a better guy than I ever gave him credit for. I guess I'm not as good a judge of character as I thought.", Natsu laughed mirthlessly.
"Yeah, he and Wendy both went all dragon on me after you left.", Gray told him.
"I heard you went off on Lucy. Gajeel was pretty impressed with you. He said I picked a good mate.", Natsu's voice broke a little at the word.
Gray unwrapped Natsu's scarf from around his neck and placed it around Natsu's.
"I think you need this more than I do."
Natsu nodded. His fingers absently playing with his scarf like he always did when he was upset.
"I never even got to learn how to do the ritual before it was over.", Natsu said sadly.
"I don't think we should make any decisions tonight."
Natsu nodded. "I want so much to be angry right now but all I feel is numb. There are so many emotions fighting for my attention that I can't actually feel any of them." Happy snuggled up to him and he petted him gently.
"Do you want to fight?", Gray offered. Fighting used to always help them work through their problems.
"No. I just want to understand. Why did they do it? Why didn't Lucy tell us? How much of my feelings were real?"
"I don't actually think there is anything to understand. They made a crappy decision and now they will have to suffer the consequences, and there should be consequences.", Gray said angrily.
"As for the feelings, I don't know how much of them were real. The fact is we will never know. I feel like this is all my fault. You were all freaky magic and I was all repressed feelings and I forced you into something you did not want. You even said you weren't sure how we would be able to tell the difference but I didn't listen. I'm sorry, we're here now because of me."
"Damn straight.", Natsu said with a small smile earning him a punch from the ice mage.
"Bastard!"
"I don't really think anyone is at fault here. We did the best we could with what we had. For the record, before everything gets weird, I don't regret any of it. I had a blast doing stuff the last two weeks.", Natsu said.
Gray smiled at Natsu, "I did too. Don't think I don't see what you are trying to do here, though. You don't have to let me go Natsu. I said no decisions tonight and I meant it."
Natsu nodded listlessly. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being my mate, if only briefly. It means a lot."
"Natsu.", Gray said warningly.
"Ice Prick"
"Flame Breath"
"Snow Fairy"
"Fire Fly"
"Ice Britches"
"Squinty Eyes"
"Maybe I'll take you up on that fight after all."
They got up and once again let their fists do their talking for them. It was almost like old times. They fought for awhile ending in their usual draw. Natsu had to admit he felt a bit better.
"I think we should both take solo missions. At the very least, I plan to. We obviously can't think about this clearly if we are near each other. I also don't want to talk to Lucy or Erza.", Natsu said calmly.
"I know, just promise me you won't do anything stupid."
"Have you met me?", Natsu smiled.
"Natsu, Don't give up on me.", Gray said quietly.
"I promise."
They said their goodbyes and headed home.