"That feels weird."
I didn't bother to look up. "You've said that three times now."
Andromeda hummed and tapped her feet in rhythm on the legs of the table. "Maybe it would feel less weird if I could see what you were doing."
"No. Eyes closed." I continued to carefully dissect the portion of nasal cavity I had removed from her face. "And please try to breathe with your mouth."
"Only because you asked so nicely.... What are you gonna do if I have to sneeze?"
I sighed. "Don't."
I couldn't find any physical reason why Andromeda didn't have a strong sense of smell. All three turbinate on both sides appeared to be healthy and developed. There was no swelling of the nasal cavity, and her cribriform plate appeared to have formed correctly.
She let out an irritated whine as I examined the plate more closely. "Staaaaaahhhhhhp..."
"What was that?" I raised an eyebrow at her, sitting half turned in the chair. My room only took up half the available space, stopping just behind Andromeda. Her eyebrows were drawn together, eyes shut tight. It was a little disturbing to see a hollow in the center of her face where her olfactory system had been. "I couldn't understand you."
"Staaahhhhp. It feels icky."
I ran one gloved finger over the cribriform plate, drawing a hard shudder from my subject. "This does?"
"Don't be a jerk!" she pouted. "Jeez, the first time you talk to me all week and all you wanna do is weird science-y shit with my nose. Rude."
"I could have done all of this already if you had been more forthcoming about your condition." I leaned on the back of the chair. I did feel a small amount of guilt for avoiding Andromeda, but it was the right thing to do. As long as she thought of me as the 'rude' captain of the ship, and nothing more, then things would be fine.
"And you haven't made a single 'got your nose' joke, either." Andromeda continued to pout. "I expected more from you."
Before I could really comprehend that she was complaining that I hadn't made any inane puns about her situation, her pout faded into practiced passive curiosity.
"What does the ocean smell like?"
I sighed. Here come the irrelevant and unnecessary questions. "Almost the way it tastes."
"That's disgusting. What about coffee? Or like... Roses. Or BEPO?" Andromeda's mouth and eyes fell open at the thought. All I could do was watch as her expression changed from excited wonder to shock, then disgust. Her face turned slightly green, eyes glued to the portion of her skull, laid open and pulsing on my desk. "I'm gonna be sick..."
"I did tell you."
/-/-/-/
I watched with fascination and concern as plastic apples were stacked and glued together around the inside of the door. We were quickly running out of the hot glue I picked up from the craft store, and the room smelled terrible.
"Um, Sweetie? What exactly are you doing?"
Andromeda turned slowly, apparently ignoring my question. "I think plastic apples will work. They're still apples. And I won't have to worry about them rotting."
"Okay." I nodded along as if I understood. It was cute how invested in this weird little project she had become, but she still hadn't told me what exactly it was for.
I didn't have to wonder for much longer. Captain stalked up the hallway, looking rather annoyed. Even for him. "Andromeda-ya, why are there plastic apples in my office?"
In response, she brandished the bright red apple in her hand with theatrical flourish and cried, "Back, demon! I have found your fatal weakness and thus you shall not enter my realm!"
I tried not to laugh as Captain deadpanned. I covered my mouth with both hands, but I couldn't cover my snorts and giggles. Oh yeah, she was definitely the one.
/-/-/-/
Scott's scales were warm. I traced them carefully. Slowly. He stood out beautifully against my black silk sheets. For the first time in several days, his bandages were also white. I smoothed the lines around his mouth. He caught my hand and kissed my fingers.
"Scottie, baby." I caressed his cheek. His white eyes were still dull and clouded with pain. Mine were hard with anger. When I got my hands on the pirate in the penguin hat, I was going to teach him a lesson in pain.
A knock on the front door brought me grudgingly out of my bedroom and down the short hall. Paul was already letting himself in. "Kaite."
"Being a bit loud today, are you?" I held my elbows and cocked my hips. "That's fine I guess. Are they all still traveling in groups?"
Paul nodded as he stepped passed me. "In twos and threes. They're not very perceptive though." His boots clicked against my hardwood floors, and he flumped into the couch. His bright blue hair, dark navy cloak and gold clasps all looked rather dapper on him, but he did not look very elegant on my deep grey couch.
I pursed my lips. "You're in a mood today."
He quirked an eyebrow. "Three of our subordinates are dead, and Scott's lucky to be alive. Forgive me for feeling like making a little noise."
"It's fine. I just got used to you being a bit quieter." I leaned against the granite breakfast bar, sending the occasional glance through the open bedroom door. Scott seemed to be sleeping.
"Well." Paul set his boots on my glass table, completely ignoring my pointed scowl. "I do have an idea. The Heart Pirates have been rather pleasant to a civilian in town. His name is Channing, and he seems to be an old friend of cute little Andromeda's."
I rolled my eyes. "And you think Trafalgar is just going to let her go trapiazing through town with a civi? I highly doubt it."
"Maybe not just the civi." Paul grinned. "But maybe with him and the mink."
"A real two-for~!" I gasped, excitement bubbling up in my chest. "We'd just need to make that happen. Is he someone we can bribe?" The plan was already taking shape. All we needed was leverage on this Channing guy.
/-/-/-/
The hotel was cheap and worn, but it still gave me a real 'family business' vibe. There was a tiny little loby with a old, wood burning fireplace to the right of the desk with a few creaky chairs and a low table. Behind the desk were row of small cubbies for keys and payments. A long hallway lead to the rooms.
A quaint woman with coal black hair and eyes greeted me with a practiced smile. "Room for one?" Her lips were painted dark red, and her almond shaped eyes were lightly lined.
"Actually," I skipped around her desk and took both of her hands in mine. They were quite soft. "I saw you in town the other day, and I thought to myself, 'she's so cute! I have to have her model for me!' What do you say?"
"Oh." She blinked, mouth forming a delicate circle. "That's very sweet of you, miss...?"
"Katie." I responded flippantly. I tucked one long strand of hair behind her ear, drawing out a deep, shy blush from the reserved woman. "So, who's the lucky guy?"
She seemed a bit lost in or conversation. Cute, but a little slow. "Ah, you must mean Channing. We're not, um, together."
I rolled my eyes with a theatrical sigh. "Oh my dear sweet child, he's falling head over heels for you! He's not bad looking himself." I didn't really find the man attractive. Perhaps cute in a puppy sort of way.
"Oh, no. You must be mistaken..." Her cheeks were still pink, but now her eyes flickered to the ground, only looking up when she thought I wasn't looking. Her lips were pulled tightly together, but pulled up at the corners and her face had taken on a glow.
"I can make this happen for you~" I sang as I slowly pulled her away from the desk. "Let Katie take care of everything~!"
/-/-/-/
I frowned into the mirror, eyes straining to see the underside of my jaw. I traced the jagged pink line with the tip of my finger. "Rude." I grumbled as if Fishman could hear me.
"To be fair, Penguin shot him full of holes." Ikkaku reminded me in an overly serious tone. Her arms and ankles were crossed, and she leaned her shoulder against the doorframe to the bathroom.
I stuck my tongue out. "To be fair, he wouldn't be full of holes if they hadn't tried to kidnap me."
Ikkaku grinned and stepped up behind me. Her chest pressed into my back, hands on the counter on either side of me. "But you're just so cute, they couldn't help it!"
My face steadily increased in temperature as she nuzzled me. "I-ika-"
"Besides, scars are sexy~" She emphasized her opinion by kissing my jaw.
I inhaled sharply, paused, and let myself relax again on the exhale. I didn't know if I would ever get used to Ikkaku being so free with her affection.
Her fingers hooked under the hem of my shirt and tugged. "Are we gonna shower or not?"
/-/-/-/
I navigated the halls from my office to the kitchen without looking up from the crisp, white pages of the book. After discovering no deformities within Andromeda's nasal cavities and a perfectly healthy cribriform plate, I was somewhat at a loss for her strange lack of sense. Fortunately the book Jean Bart procured for me might provide me with an answer, if not a cure.
Anosmia was the term generated for the very few people like Andromeda with no sense of smell. Sometimes it was due to malformed skulls, or lack of connection between receptors. Other times it was due to brain damage, for which there was no real solution.
I paused at the juncture between the bathroom and the kitchen halls. Penguin and Shachi had their faces pressed against the bathroom door, blood trickling from their noses. Steam seeped through the bottom of the door.
"Excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow at them.
The duo jumped, bashing their heads together in their attempt to... Look natural.
Penguin groaned and rubbed his head while Shachi stumbled for an explanation. I ignored his stammering and flipped to the next page. "Instead of trying to peep on Ikkaku-ya and Andromeda-ya, perhaps you could go to the 'club' at the end of the docks."
Shachi scratched the back of his neck. "Sorry, Captain."
"Don't apologize to me." I smirked, wondering what sort of strange thing Andromeda might decide was their 'fatal weakness'. "The tomato is who I would look out for." I casually scratched an itch on my chest, pulling my sweater down enough for them to notice a large, black and purple bruise.
The apples she bought were not hollow, and she wasn't afraid to throw them. And she didn't even apologize. Apparently she didn't see a need to, seeing as she was 'only paying me back' for dissecting her face.
The engineers cringed and exchanged anxious glances before making a mad dash to land.
I snorted at their retreat and continued to the kitchen.
/-/-/-/
I tittered at Megan's scandalized expression. Her eyes were wide, eyebrows up and drawn together, and cute lips forming a tiny, puckered 'o'. The stripper grinned and waved her fingers, 1o beri note still between her teeth. Her 'captains cape' made a deep rustle as she flung it around and sashayed her way to the next table.
Megan blew all the air out of her lungs in one short, nasally chirp.
"Awww," I patted her cheek as I spoke directly in her ear, "tweetums having second thoughts?" She had been undeniably more fun than I expected, mostly due to her obvious chastity.
I leaned back, sinking into the plush magenta lounge and sipped my fruity blue drink. Scott always prefered something darker, but I prefer not to fight my alcohol. Poor Megan hadn't touched her sunset margarita. In fact, it sat just away from her right hand, as if it were a person tolerated but not enjoyed.
It didn't matter, really. I just wanted her loosened up a little. As I fully relaxed, watching the women slowly tease out of their play marine uniforms, I noticed two people in very different uniforms: white boiler suits. One had a blue and red hat, the other was black with floppy ears. They both sat too straight, too tense. It had been a long time for them, which was perfect for me.
I licked my lips and leaned into Megan. "Katie is gonna show you a trick or two~" My tongue filled her ear.
She made a sound that was half startled squeak, half confused moan, and jerked away from me. "Katie!?" Her eyes were wide, cheeks bright red.
"Why don't you go try that on your boy? Katie loves you~" I trilled before bouncing away. It might have been more fun to dress up and take stage (I really loved the way the golden light made me glow), but it just wasn't right if Scottie wasn't there to take me home.
Instead, I sauntered up to the pirates. They were fixated on the woman hanging upside down from the top of the pole. I slid in beside the one who was too obviously Penguin, and I didn't have to fake my endeared giggle when he jumped, hands clenched on his lap. "Oh, sweetie, feeling a little... Stiff?"
The red haired pirate elbowed his friend with a wide grin. Penguin swallowed hard and gave me an adorable, shaky smile. "H-hi!"
"Aren't you an eager one?" I smirked. I wouldn't even have to try. All I did was poke his cute little nose and he was all mine. "I could get on top of that." I thought he might faint. I took the collar of his boiler suit and tugged him into a heavy kiss. He was too surprised to reciprocate. Too dazed to wonder why a strange woman wanted to drag him away from his friend.
I pulled him down the hall to the 'office' and flung him inside. He was so clearly the submissive partner that it made me a little disappointed: I tended to like a bit of fight from my men. At least he made my life easy.
I grabbed his face and pressed into him, dominating his mouth. My hands slid up under his hat, into thick and surprisingly soft, feathery black hair. I hummed in appreciation, of the wonderful texture of his hair and of his hands on my waist.
The snap on his suit was quickly followed by the zipper. Penguin was thin and lithe under the boiler suit, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thrilled to run my hands down his chest. I gave him a light push, and he stepped back. His eyes widened momentarily before he felt the bed with his calf.
Ever so compliant, my little submissive birdy smiled as he sat. I grinned and hit my knees. His boots were neatly tied, and easy for me to cast aside, allowing me to finally remove the entire boiler suit.
I slid up between his legs and pushed him fully onto the bed. I prefered Scott's larger build to this kid's thin frame, but he was just as eager for me. He reached for the hem of my shirt, but I grabbed his hand and held it above his head.
"Ah-ah-aahhh..." I emphasized my playful scolding with light nibbles on his jaw and ear.
Penguin groaned. His finger tucked into my belt loop, holding me down against him.
He was too cute for his own good. I even contemplated keeping him. I could only grin as I reached over for the drawer. Penguin's curious expression was only slightly worried when I brought out the furry black handcuffs and matching blindfold.
"Don't worry," I cooed, dangling the cuffs by one finger, "I'll be gentle."