02.09
Hi Jimin,
I find it funny how in the first letters I used to write „Hi Jiminie" and overall be super excited about them but now I just feel terrible.
And not just terrible because of the two kisses because I did something much worse Jimin.
After this I know that you won't forgive me but I want you to at least know.
I wanted to write a letter yesterday to tell how much fun I had when we went to have lunch together and then went to the park like we always do.. but I didn't get the chance to.
A couple of hours after you took me home and went back to yours ( it was around 8pm I think ) Jungkook came over. I had no idea he was coming, I didn't even want him to come because I knew what could happen.
He asked me if we could talk. I was unsure at first but then I said yes, I had to tell him we couldn't continue whatever it was that we started.
I was actually drinking wine (hehe) before he came (ya know, it was a wine&netflix kind of friday) so yeah, we took a seat and we started talking while drinking a LITTLE BIT of wine.
Now, I don't want to blame it on the alcohol like people usually do but I know that if I was completely sober I wouldn't have done it.
So, we were talking and when I went to the counter to drink some water he followed me and idk how it all started but I kind of ended up sitting on the counter while making out with him? I know it seems like it's nothing much for me but I promise you, Jimin, I regret everything.
Then yeah, I guess it all kind of escalated quickly and we ended up in my bed and idk, he told me he loves me? He did, I remember. And I told him the I love him back.
Do I really? Well, I can't deny that I felt extremely jealous this last week when I saw you two together cuddling and stuff but what can I do? He's your boyfriend afterall.
This morning when I woke up in his embrace I didn't know how to feel.
I felt happy but I couldn't be 100%
Because I can't be happy knowing that I broke your heart. Well, you don't know that yet but sooner or later you'll find out and I'm scared.
I'm scared for how you'll react.
I'm so fucking scared that you'll do sth you'll later regret. God damn it, I feel awful.
Awfully awful.
I'm sorry Jimin
~Taehyung
—
05.09
Hi
Today when we met up you seemed sad.
You were sad. I knew that the moment I saw you because I couldn't see your usual smile.
The usual smile that makes me smile because of how happy it makes you look :)
I asked you why and you told me Jungkook seemed distant. My heart literally stopped when I heard his name.
You said that you feel like he makes things up just not to meet up with you and that you think he doesn't love you anymore.
You started crying and I was trying so much to not let my tears fall down too..
Not just becuase you were sad. Becuase you were sad becuase of me. It's all my fault and I don't know what to do now.
I texted JK to ask him what was going on with him and he told me he couldn't do it anymore.
He said he wants to be with me?
I was so confused.
I was happy, hyung. But I knew I couldn't be happy because you were sad.
I told him to carry on until your birthday because you've been really looking forward to it and idk I just want it too be super special, I don't want you to think about him breaking up with you.
Hope you understand :)
~Tae
—
07.09
Helloo,
Today we 3 went together with Yoongi to a bar and you looked happy again. I thanked Jungkookie for at least trying, even tho it seems kinda stupid to thank him for acting like he loves you. Selfish, I'd say. I'm selfish.
I was glad you didn't notice but I did. I noticed how he said he loves „you" or how he complemented you while looking at me.
Yoongi noticed, too. He literally looked at me and then Jungkook like he wanted to kill us. I would too tbh.
When we went to the toilet I begged him not to tell you. I said that I'd do it myself after your birthday. He agreed but made me promise I'd actually do it.
Of course I will.
The day went by pretty quickly and I was glad because I can't live with these thoughts going on in my head and the guilt of seeing you happy about something that isn't real.
Love you :/
~Taehyungie
—
09.11
*sigh* hei hyung
I'm just writing because your birthday is in 3 days and I'm more nervous than excited. I think I'll tell you to open the letters when you're alone.
Or NO, better : I'll buy sth for your actual birthday and give you the letters the next day :)
Seems like the best plan, I don't want to ruin your birthday :(
I hope everything's going to be okay after :(
Always remeber you were, are and always will be my best friend. I know I fucked up Jimin but I really do love you like a brother and from the bottom of my heart I hope you'll forgive me.
Please hyung
~Tae
—————
10.13
Today's the day.
I glanced one more time at my phone and smiled weakly at the short conversation between me & my best friend.
Taehyung
Happy birthday Jiminie!!! Today's finally your 21 birthday!!!! We'll finally be able to get the drinks without begging strangers to buy them for us woohoo lAmE. For real though : I love you so much, you're like a brother to me and I really hope will never ruin our friendship because I could not live without you hyungieeeeee
Once again : HAPPY BDAY, CAN'T WAIT FOR 2NIGHT!!!!
00:03
Then I lowered my gaze to the older's reply, a sigh coming out of my mouth as I read it
Jimin
Omg TaeTae thank you so much!
I know how hard it is for you to stay awake past 10 pm so I really appreciate you texting me at 12 pm
REALLY!!
Can't wait to see you this evening, we're gonna have SO MUCH FUUUUUN
P.s. Of course nothing's gonna ruin our friendship! You're going to be stuck with me for the rest of your life bItCh : )
00:05
I shook my head in frustration and looked down at my hands.
How could I do something like this to the softest and sweetest human to ever exist?
Taehyung
What time are you going to Jimin's place?
18:34
Jungkook
I'm actually already going, he wants me to help him with the last decorations etc.
Can't wait to see you
18:36
I sighed while looking at the reply. How could something so wrong make someone feel so good?
Taehyung
Me too, but please Jungkook, let's not mess everything up. It's Jimin's day, I don't want to ruin it. I'm gonna tell him tomorrow, just resist one more day?
18:38
Jungkook
What are you going to tell him? Not about us, right?
18:38
Teahyung
I think we lied long enough Kook, he deserves to know the thruh, sooner or later. Tomorrow.
18:39
I didn't even wait for a reply and just put the phone on my nightstand with the screen facing the white surface.
I opened my closet and searched for something formal but not too elegant to wear.
40 minutes left to get ready and another 10 to arrive. Long enough.
I decided to opt for a burgundy silk botton up and black tight jeans. I made my way to the bathroom where I used a little bit of concealer to cover up any imperfections and a little bit of light eyeshadow and eyeliner to feel more appropriate for the party and a bit more confident. I tried to make my ash grey hair look somehow presentable even though they still looked messy after 10 minutes of trying.
I sighed once again looking in the mirror.
Why did I have to be such an asshole?
I shook my head and looked at my phone. 19:18.
Let's go.
—
„Happy birthday Jiminie! Oh my God, you're so fucking old!" I said while hugging my best friend who looked so excited about the party.
„Thank you Taehyung, thanky you for being here and being such a good friend."
I just smiled at him weakly and followed him with my eyes as he went to say hi to the other guests.
„You look really good." The words made me feel warm air on my neck as I turned around slowly and saw him. I released a sigh and bit my bottom lip.
„Don't make this more difficult than it already is"
Jungkook tilted his head as one corner of his lips curled up in a smirk „Can't I say something nice to a friend?"
I chuckled and lightly hit him „I guess you can"
When those words left my mouth, my eyes moved to Yoongi, who was standing behind the younger „I'll tell him tomorrow"
„You can't Taehyung, I know it's stupid to say after what I did but I care about him and I don't want him to suffer"
I frowned and looked down „But I can't just be with you and act like everything's fine"
„Jungkook! Some of my friends want to meet you, come with meee"
I looked up to see Jimin quickly placing his lips onto Jungkook's pink ones and then take him away to his friends.
„Jealous Taehyungie?" I turned around and rolled my eyes at Yoongi's question.
„No, I just...I don't know Yoongs. I know I should tell him but I don't want him to hate me"
„He won't if you'll be honest and tell everything. Really. Friends should trust eachother. Tell him the truth and even if not immediately, sooner or later he'll forgive you"
I just smiled and nodded thinking about what I should do.
—
21:34
I was looking at the groups of people talking and dancing in Jimin's big house with my almost finished second drink in my right hand when I decided to go out.
A bit of fresh air seems to be a good idea.
I quickly walked out of the crowded place and got on the balcony in my friend's bedroom.
How did it all start?
Why did I let this all start?
Why did I have to betray my best friend?
I could just say no to Jungkook.
I let down my best friend to be with his-
I suddenly felt to hands being placed on my waist and warm soft lips on my neck.
I closed my eyes for a moment and released a content sigh „Hey there"
„Is the party too boring for my baby?" I chuckled and turned around to face the younger black-haired boy.
„Thought a bit of air would help me think"
„People don't think at parties. They just...go with the flow" I just hummed as Jungkook started leaving short kisses on my cold neck.
„Yeah" I nodded slowly and lifted his head up to let our lips finally meet after what seemed like ages.
The light breeze hit our faces as our kiss deepened in what was already something we were used to.
Hands slipped under shirts and other ones gripped onto black hair as quiet moans could be heard in the silence of the small balcony.
„Taehyung?"
When I heard his voice calling my name I finally understood what I was doing.
I quickly pulled away and tried to catch my breath while looking at Jimin, who stood at the entrance of his room with wide eyes.
„Jimin please let me-„
„How could you?" I could see tears falling down his pale cheeks even in the dark room. I could feel his heart being broken.
„Don't cry, let's talk, really" Jungkook tried to get closer to what he used to call his „boyfriend" but the latter took a step back and shook his head.
„Just tell me how long this has been going on for" Jimin asked before releasing a heart breaking sob, which made me fall down to my knees and shaking my head
„It was just today Ji-„
„It started after the second week of us dating"
I looked at Jungkook who interrupted me. I furrowed my brows as I wondered why he actually said the truth when he was the one who didn't want Jimin to know.
Jimin didn't say anything, he just ran out of the room and left me & Jungkook alone.
The latter came closer and embraced me while I cried for long minutes.
I lost my best friend.
That was my only thought at the moment.
I love Jungkook but I lost my best friend.
—
„Hi Mrs Park! Could you give Jimin these letters? It's really important, please tell him to read them all."
—
„Do you think he already read them?" I asked while pouting even though Jungkook, who was currently playing with my hair, couldn't see it.
„Probably"
„So why hasn't he called yet? 2 weeks Jungkook. 2 weeks since I gave him those letters" I heard him sigh so I looked up and weakly smiled „sorry I'm talking about him so much but it's just-„
„I know Tae." The younger smiled and pecked my slightly chapped lips „I know you care a bout him, he's your best friend. Let's go to his home and see him, what do you think?"
My eyes lit up at his idea „Yeeeeees!"
—
The door. We were in front of Mrs Park's house, where Jimin had been staying for the past weeks.
„Come on Tae, what could possibly happen that makes you scared?" He interwined our cold fingers and squeezed my hand before knocking on the black door.
After a few minutes of waiting someone finally arrived. My eyes widened when I saw Jimin's mom.
„Mrs Park are you alright?"
Her eyes were red, skin pale and cheeks stained with so many tears. Tears.
She shook her head and embraced me in a tight hug. I looked at Jungkook confused but still hugged her back „What happened?"
I heard sobs coming out of her pink lips and furrowed my brows. Jimin.
„Where's Jimin?" I looked at Jungkook who had pronounced those words, which I was oh so afraid of saying.
She told us to wait a moment and went quickly inside to take something.
She came back with a letter. It was folded in two but still looked perfect. Because it was written by Jimin.
We both said goodbye to a devastated Mrs Park who didn't want to tell us anything.
„Let's read it at the park"
„Yeah"
—
10.18
Dear Taehyungie,
It's really hard for me to write this letter.
It's a goodbye, that's why.
No, I'm not killing myself donmt worry. I know that you know that I went through a lot but Tae, when I told you I'm over my past I wasnmt lying.
You two lying behind my back like you did really isn't enough of a reason for me to even think about ending my life. So donmt worry about that. I'm alive.
And happy.
I'm happy because I'm having my time to think about what I really want, about what I want to achieve, my goals.
I'm 21 but what have I achieved? What do I want to do with my life now? I don't know.
That's why I decided to go away for a bit.
Thank you for being honest and giving me those letters. It really hurt me to read them but I had to know.
Thank you for being such a good friend. Best friend.
I'll get back hom, I promise. Just...not now.
You're still my best friend and I hope you and Jungkook are happy with eachother ( I have someone else making me happy now so don't think about me being lonely here ).
See you i guess
Tell my mom I'm okay and that I love her if you meet her.
Love ya bro! :)
———————
After what seemed like ages here I am with the second part of LETTERS!
Hope you like it. The ending is a bit rushed but Im not realy in the mood to write more so I hooooope it's still good :3
WOW BTW THANK YOU FOR OVER 300 READS. Like seriously, you're a ma zing.
Also, I love bts so much, they literally make me so happy ;-;
The sneak peek of the new song „DON'T LEAVE ME" it's literally SO GOOD I THINK I MIGHT DIE, Im listening to it all the time and I can't frickin wait for the whole song ( and Suga's part in the song :')))))) That'll be the death of me :') )
Bye! Sorry for not being so active on here!
Bye!
¡!¡! not proof read so sorry for any mistakes !¡!¡