"Okay, let's read through our script," Patti tells us once we are meeting in our usual spot at the back of the stage Monday morning. "I'm still working on edits. Turns out there is a lot more that I need to edit than I initially thought."
Yeah, for real, I think.
"Okay, so did you all read through it over the weekend?"
I smile sneakily and peer over at Thatcher. He doesn't meet my eyes, but he smiles a bit to himself as he looks over his script. Embarrassment immediately flushes my cheeks, even though no one else was aware of my little smile except me.
"Looks like we're all familiar?" Patti asks. Without anyone responding, she continues, "Great." She seems too focused on pulling edited scripts out of her binder. "Here are your new scripts, the ones that I edited. Hopefully Mrs. Permala is okay with the changes I made."
"It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission," Thatcher says.
"Exactly." Patti pulls the frizz back from her face and takes a deep breath. "Okay, so I'm thinking I will play the wife, Violet." No surprise there. "So then Janie, you will play the other woman, Rita."
"Okay," I say. The fewer the lines, the better.
Let's see if Thatcher and I were right about the male parts, I think. Moth as the butler and Thatcher as the husband.
"Now for the boy parts," Patti continues, "I think it would work best with Thatcher as the butler Peter, and Moth as the husband, Harry.
"Really?" Thatcher and I ask in unison.
"I'm down with that," Moth says.
"Yeah? What's wrong?" Patti asks. " I thought Thatcher would be a more convincing butler, since he's sort of uptight."
"Hey, wait, what?"
"Sorry, Thatcher, but compared to Moth, you are."
He nods and shrugs just his one shoulder. "Fair enough."
Moth laughs.
"Which leaves Moth as the laid back character."
"That's me," Moth says.
"So you and Thatcher will kiss at the end?" I ask.
"Yeah, I guess so. Is that fine with you, Thatcher?"
"Sure."
I bite my lip to keep from showing any sort of reaction to that.
"It's acting, so we all understand that it's not real, right?" Patti asks.
We all nod. She's right: It's theater and the kiss won't be coming from any real place, but still... it makes my stomach twist.
"Alright, ready for our first read through?" Patti asks.
"Let's do it," Moth says.
Patti reads the stage directions: "Peter- Butler at the home of Violet and Peter. Violet- Wealthy wife of Harry. Born into wealth. Harry- Wealthy husband of Violet. He has worked for his money, and has been newly promoted. Rita- Co-worker of Harry.
"Lights up on the dining room in a wealthy home. There is a door that leads out of the kitchen upstage left and a door that leads into the dining room from the rest of the house center right. There is a table set directly center stage, very elegant and covered in white linen. There is a vase of flowers and a pristine china set on the table. There is a liquor cabinet filled with alcohol in crystal and fancy glasses upstage right. There is evidence a party has been held in this space. Peter is onstage when the lights come up wearing a black suit and cleaning. Violet enters through the door center right, wearing her pajamas and looking noticeably tired."
I'm surprised that Patti left the liquor cabinet for our high school one act performance, but she knows best. We begin reading our parts, reading whatever stage directions are included in our line.
Peter (Thatcher)
Oh hello, Mrs. Stein, you are up much earlier than usual this morning.
Violet (Patti)
I couldn't sleep any longer.
Peter (Thatcher)
May I fetch you some sleep medication?
Violet (Patti)
No, thank you. These are flowers are lovely, did you pick them from the garden?
Peter (Thatcher)
No, ma'am. I saw these at the market and thought you might like them.
Violet (Patti)
Peter, that is so sweet, thank you. Was there much of a mess this morning?
Peter (Thatcher)
Not much, no. Just a few glasses. The caterers did a very good job cleaning their area of the kitchen, and the maids collected most of the dishes after the guests left.
Violet (Patti)
Good. Has Mr. Stein come downstairs yet?
Peter (Thatcher)
Not yet, no. Would you like me to wake him?
Violet (Patti)
No, thank you, that won't be necessary. I will wait another thirty minutes for him and then I will go into his room to wake him myself.
Peter (Thatcher)
Good idea, he is most likely still recovering from the party last night.
Violet (Patti)
Rightfully so. I hope he enjoyed himself. I hardly saw him all evening. I don't know mind though. He had been waiting for that promotion for months. It was only polite to throw him a party.
Peter (Thatcher)
(To himself) And also quite loving.
Violet (Patti)
Excuse me?
Peter (Thatcher)
Nothing, Mrs. Stein.
Violet (Patti)
I find it very bold of you to express your thoughts on my marriage.
Peter (Thatcher)
I apologize, Mrs. Stein
Violet (Patti)
Thank you. (Pause) However, I'm curious: If it were a gesture of love, how do you suppose Harry would react?
Peter (Thatcher)
Flattered, I suppose. Perhaps a bit surprised. It has been quite a long separation thus far.
Violet (Patti)
Oh please don't put it in such harsh terms, it makes my head hurt. Yes, we are sleeping in separate rooms, but that does not make us separated, not officially. It simply means we are distancing ourselves to get a better view of our relationship.
Peter (Thatcher)
And have you discovered anything yet, Mrs. Stein?
Violet (Patti)
I am not sure. Perhaps that I might have been mistaken in thinking I didn't need him. Perhaps. (pause) You aren't judging me, are you Peter?
Peter (Thatcher)
Not at all, Mrs. Stein.
Violet (Patti)
Then please say something. I can't help but think you are judging me.
Peter (Thatcher)
Mrs. Stein, I could never think badly of you. I think... well, I think you are perfect. Besides, I am not married, nor have I ever been, so I could never know how hard maintaining a marriage must be. Especially after so many years.
Violet (Patti)
It was ten years in April.
Peter (Thatcher)
Yes, I remember. You two went out for the night.
Violet (Patti)
Yes, how did you remember?
Peter (Thatcher)
I remember many of the things you do, Mrs. Stein.
Violet (Patti)
What would we do without you, Peter? When will breakfast be served?
Peter (Thatcher)
I can either serve you in about twenty minutes or serve you when Mr. Stein awakes.
Violet (Patti)
Please alert me when he is awake. I will be freshening up in my room.
Peter (Thatcher)
Certainly, Mrs. Stein.
Patti reads, "Violet exits center right. Peter straightens up and goes to the crystal cabinet. He stops dusting and reaches into the cabinet, revealing a sparkly, hot pink thong."
"You didn't edit that part?" I ask.
"No, it's one of the funniest parts. If we want to get the same kind of laughs as Layla's group, we have to keep it," Patti says.
"And Mrs. P is cool with that?" Moth asks.
Patti shrugs and smiles a sneaky grin. "We will see. Okay," she continues to read the stage directions, "He cautiously holds it out in front of him and exits upstage left with it. As he exits Harry enters center right wearing an undershirt and pajama pants. He is tiptoeing and then frantically begins searching through the open cabinet. PETER re-enters upstage left."
Peter (Thatcher)
Good morning, Mr. Stein. I didn't hear you come in.
Harry (Moth)
Oh, yes, well... I guess I'm pretty quiet in the mornings.
Peter (Thatcher)
Shall I prepare you a drink?
Harry (Moth)
A drink? No. Oh, because I'm in the cabinet--yes, well, I was just looking for something that I think was left here last night.
Peter (Thatcher)
Something in particular, sir?
Harry (Moth)
Something in particular? Well, you see, it's sort of--oh how should I explain it? Well, you see, it's... it's a certain article of clothing.
Peter (Thatcher)
Perhaps... (he pulls the pink thong out of his back pocket with a handkerchief)this is yours?
Harry (Moth)
Yes! Oh--well--no, not mine, a guest's. Who left... last night. She called and told me she had... misplaced it.
Peter (Thatcher)
I see. (Hands the thong to Harry)
Harry (Moth)
I'm just going to... return it. (Backs toward the center right door)
Peter (Thatcher)
Now, sir?
Harry (Moth)
No--you are right. Now would be silly, it's too early. Especially after last night, huh? What a party. I can't imagine how the poor owner of these must have gotten home, huh? (pause) Well, I suppose I should--
Peter (Thatcher)
Eat breakfast?
Harry (Moth)
Uh, sure... it's what I do every morning, why should this morning be any different?... Of course, I will have breakfast. Breakfast it is! What is on the menu this morning, my good man?
Peter (Thatcher)
Bacon and eggs.
Harry (Moth)
Bacon and eggs! My favorite! Yum-my! Mm, mm.
Peter (Thatcher)
Allow me to call Mrs. Stein first.
Harry (Moth)
Violet? It's probably best if we don't wake her up. How about breakfast for two, Pete, huh? Just you and me?
Peter (Thatcher)
Mrs. Stein is already awake and requested I call her as soon as you arrive so that the two of you may share breakfast.
Harry (Moth)
And she has to join me right now?
Peter (Thatcher)
Those are her wishes, yes. One moment. (He exits center right)
Patti reads, "Harry sits at the table, trying to shove the sequined panties into his pocket, but he is so nervous, he just ends up stuffing them in his pants as Peter and Violet enter from center right. Violet is much more presentable now, wearing a sun dress and make-up. Peter watches over the scene for a moment then exits upstage left."
Violet (Patti)
Good morning, Harry. I trust you slept well.
Harry (Moth)
Yes... thank you. Very well, thank you. Oh, I've already said thank you... but I guess thank you again for throwing me that promotion bash last night. It was really... sweet.
Violet (Patti)
I hoped you would like it.
Harry (Moth)
Well, I did. Thank you. It was really... nice.
Violet (Patti)
It was, wasn't it? (Pause) Harry?
Harry (Moth)
Hm?
Violet (Patti)
Are you alright?
Harry (Moth)
Of course! Great. Awesome. Stupendous. Thank you.
Violet (Patti)
You're welcome. Listen Harry, I've been thinking a lot lately, and I need to speak with you about the state of our marriage.
Patti reads the next stage directions: "Rita enters briefly from center right, but seeing the two of them talking, quickly turns back around. She is wearing one of Harry's long work shirts and her hair is tossled."
I laugh a bit at the timing of my character.
Harry (Moth)
Right now?
Violet (Patti)
Yes, right now. It's very important.
Harry (Moth)
I just woke up the morning after a great party, and you want to talk about our marriage right now? Do we have to?
Violet (Patti)
I feel it's urgent. You hardly ever listen to me. At least have the decency to hear me out now.
Harry (Moth)
Let's cut the propriety Vi and speak to each other normally, please.
Violet (Patti)
(Huffs) Fine. You want normality? I miss you. I think we work well together. We balance each other out, and as much as I cannot tolerate you at times, I need you in my life. I am your wife, and you are my husband. I think we should end this silly separation we're going through.
Harry (Moth)
Listen, Vi...
Violet (Patti)
Before you object, I need to tell you that I cannot continue with this living arrangement any longer. Either you move back into our bedroom or... or we separate officially.
Harry (Moth)
Vi... I love you, but I... I'm not a good person. I did something. I need to tell you that--
Violet (Patti)
--Of course you are a good person. I was the one who made the majority of our mistakes. Perhaps could even start seeing, you know... one of those therapist people for couples.
Harry (Moth)
You are finally willing to go to couples therapy? It was beneath you four months ago, why are you suddenly willing to go?
Violet (Patti)
Well, perhaps I've realized what a terrible mistake I've made. What a terrible wife I've been. Perhaps I just needed a little tumble from grace to knock some sense into me.
Harry (Moth)
You really mean that? You would really see a therapist with me?
Violet (Patti)
Yes. We will work out our problems, and everything will be back to the way things were. I have already started changing.
Harry (Moth)
How so?
Violet (Patti)
I've prepared you a present upstairs. Allow me to bring it down for you. (Violet kisses Harry on the forehead before exiting center right)
Okay so there's a kiss for her to share with Moth, I think with a smile. I swallow my nerves. My character is about to show up.
Patti reads, "Harry holds his head in his hands. Rita re-enters center right, still wearing only Harry's work shirt. She is tiptoeing and backing away from the doorway, watching it for Violet."
Harry (Moth)
(Without looking up) Look, Violet, I really need to tell you something. (Looks up) Oh my god, Rita, I thought I told you to leave.
I take a deep breath, and just try to focus on each individual word as I go.
Rita (me)
I can't leave without my panties!
Thatcher and Moth laugh. I let myself laugh too. Patti is all business. "Okay, okay," she says, letting a brief smile sneak onto her face.
Harry (Moth)
Right, here is your thong. (He pulls the thong from his pants and throws it at her) Now get out.
Rita (me)
(Puts on her panties, then places her hand on her hip) Excuse me?
Harry (Moth)
Leave, hurry!
Rita (me)
Who do you think you're talking to? I'm not leaving like some sort of tramp.
I stop. "Are you sure I can say that?" I ask.
Patti doesn't acknowledge my question. "Just keep reading."
"Okay."
Rita (me)
No way. You made your bed now lie in it. I'm not leaving. (Sniffs the air) I smell bacon. I bet Jeeves is cooking up something delicious in there. I think I'll stick around for that.
Harry (Moth)
No, no, no, no, no.
"Peter re-enters from upstage left carrying a full breakfast tray of plates and glasses," Patti reads.
Harry (Moth)
Hello there Peter. This is my... this is one of my co-workers. She must have slept here last night. (Laughs nervously) How crazy, right? Such a huge house, I didn't even notice.
Peter (Thatcher)
Whatever you say, sir. Here is your bacon and eggs. And bacon and eggs for you as well, Ms...?
Rita (me)
Berger. Rita Berger. (Extends her hand to Peter)
Thatcher and I shake hands. Any excuse to be closer to him.
Harry (Moth)
I believe you two met last night.
Rita (me)
Hey Jeeves, could you grab me some ketchup from the kitchen, old chap?
Harry (Moth)
I apologize, Peter. She decided to stay for breakfast since she was already here. Would you mind grabbing her some ketchup from the kitchen so she can get out of here already?
Rita (me)
(to Harry) Hey. (to Peter) You heard him, Jeeves. Chop, chop.
"My character is horrible," I say.
Moth laughs. "For real, just get out of the house. You're going to get my character caught."
"Keep reading," Patti says.
Peter (Thatcher)
(rolls eyes) Sir, I would rather not.
Harry (Moth)
Well then, would you mind stalling my wife until Rita leaves? I would hate for Violet to get the wrong impression about Rita's presence.
Peter (Thatcher)
With all due respect sir, I think it is only right Mrs. Stein see what I'm seeing now.
Harry (Moth)
Mind your orders, Peter. I could fire you.
Peter (Thatcher)
Sir, I would rather be fired than cover for your lie.
Rita (me)
What's the big deal anyway, Harry? You said so last night, your marriage is practically over.
Harry (Moth)
Because last night was a mistake. A mistake I'm not really proud of, and one that will never ever happen again.
Patti reads the next stage direction, "Violet enters center right carrying a cupcake with a lit candle in it." She clears her throat for her next line.
Violet (Patti)
Here I am with a celebratory--(she looks up from the cupcake and sees Rita at the counter)--Who is this?
Just then the bell rings, interrupting us from our one act, which--to be honest--is probably still a little too inappropriate for school. Or maybe that's just my shy, sheltered side talking. Or my slightly-jealous-that-I-won't-get-to-kiss-Thatcher-on-stage side.
We'll see.
As the class starts to gather their things to leave, Mrs. Permala comes on the microphone from her control booth. Usually she is out here on the stage or in the audience to wish us well on the rest of our day and dismiss us, but today it almost looks like she's hiding in her booth.
"My dear thespians," she starts, "before you leave today, there is something I'd like to tell you about the opportunities that will present themselves at the end of this quarter when you perform your one acts."
Everyone is silent. I'm too still to even see if anyone else is moving.
Please don't tell us there's a test or another assignment, I think.
"As many of you know, actor Grant O'Reilly of A Call from Midnight graduated from this school, specifically from this stage. He earned his chops as an actor right where you are all standing now."
I can hear a coordinated inhale from all the girls in the theater. Even from myself. He is my absolute favorite celebrity.
"Grant's show is looking for a couple of small parts--." Gasps and squeals cut her off. Let her finish, I want to scream, but that's not like me.
It is like Patti, though. "Let her talk," Patti yells, and our classmates do their best to control themselves.
"As I was saying," Mrs. Permala continues, "his show is looking for a couple of small parts to be featured in a story arc over three episodes." More gasps, only this time they are muffled behind hands and sleeves. "One boy, one girl, and Grant O'Reilly himself will be here for the final performances to choose them."
Now no one can contain themselves, not even me. I feel my knees go weak and my breath leave me. I hyperventilate with squeals of joy. Now I know why she locked herself in her control booth: to keep the beggars away.
Mrs. Permala checks the time on the clock behind her. She's already kept us an extra two minutes from our next class, which--because of our placement in the farthest regions of the school--practically ensures our tardiness to our next classes. But no one seems to care except for Mrs. Permala who speaks loudly over us to finish her statement. "Remember: Grant will hand choose the two actors based on your final performances, so make this one act count, my thespians. You are dismissed."
I love Grant O'Reilly, but I'm not really the type who would be on a TV show. Layla and Patti, though... they scowl at each other from across the stage. They know they are the other's competition--from the ten-minute plays, it was pretty clear they are the two best girls in the class--but I hate to say it: Layla has the face (and hair and body) for TV.
Patti doesn't stand a chance, but I know that that won't stop her.
Nothing about this one act will be the same after this. Thatcher, Moth, and I exchange looks of mixed excitement and worry. The fun stops here, I tell myself. We will be all business from now on. Whatever it takes to get Grant O'Reilly to notice us.