Heyo! Thanks for coming!
Warnings: mentions self harm, suicide, etc.
Depressed!Lance x Paladin!Reader
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You and the other Paladins had just freed another planet from Zarkon's empire. The village was throwing a celebration in their castle for the team. This was the perfect time to discuss forming an alliance with Voltron, since the queen and princess would be there. You wore your Paladin armor, along with the rest of the team and Allura.
After what felt like hours of greeting the locals in the castle, you and the team slowly made your way to the main hall, where the feast was. Also where the queen and princess were.
Outside of the main hall, Shiro and Allura, Who were in the front of the group, stopped and turned to Lance.
"Lance, Shiro and I think if it's best if you stay in the back and let us do the talking." Allura stated. Everyone was looking at Lance. "B-but why-" Lance asked, confused and slightly hurt. He was cut off by Pidge who said, "because the only thing filling the space where your brain should be is pick-up lines." Everyone laughed at Pidge's comment, except you.
You were Lance's best friend. As life became more and more stressful, Hunk and Pidge began to grow apart from Lance. But you stayed by his side, not only because he was your best friend, but because you had developed feelings for the blue Paladin.
Since you were his best friend, you knew how much he was hurting, and how that comment hurt him more. You once walked in on him cutting himself. Razor in one hand, blood dripping down his wrist, tears staining his cheeks. It was the saddest thing you had ever seen. You comforted him, and you made him promise not to do it again. But for some reason, you alwayhiss felt that he was going back on his promise.
"F-fine." He muttered and walked to the back of the group. You joined him there and put your hand on his shoulder, and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He looked at you, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. "It's okay. Stay strong. You can do this. I'm here for you." You smiled and whispered to him. He slightly smiled back at you.
Then, Shiro knocked on the door. Two guards pulled the doors open and bowed. You all stepped inside, you and Lance remaining at the back. A tall and thin woman with black hair, light green skin, red lips, and an forest green floor-length dress sat at the head of the table. Next to her was a shorter girl with light brown hair, light blue skin, and a navy blue floor-length dress. You assumed they were the queen and princess.
"Hello. It is a great honor of having you join us. I am queen Hilo. This is my daughter, princess Dalia. We thank you for saving our planet." Queen Hilo said. We took seats around them, of course you and Lance being the furthest from the queen and the princess.
Servants began to wheel carts with plates of food into the room, placing a plate in front of everyone. The Paladins started to introduce themselves. "I'm Allura, and the pleasure is all ours." It was finally your turn to introduce yourself. "I'm (Y/N)." You told the royals. "Pleased to meet you, (Y/N). And who may you be?" Hilo asked, gesturing towards Lance. Lance opened his mouth to say something, but before he could start, Allura jumped in.
"This is Lance, our blue Paladin. Unfortunately he can't speak at the moment." Lances mouth closed into a frown, and he looked back at his food. "Oh dear, I'm so terribly sorry!" Hilo apologized. You had seen Lance's reaction to him being 'mute', and you didn't like it. You were harshly glaring at Allura, Who didn't seem to notice your death glare.
"(Y/N), it's fine." Lance quietly spoke to you, still starring at his food. You looked at him, concerned, but you nodded to yourself and started eating.
"Such a shame," Dalia started. " I really enjoy his aura. It's so calming and peaceful." "Yes it is. You should let loose like him as well. It will only do you good." Everyone stared at Dalia and Hilo in shock. A grin spread across your face and you faced Lance, who was also in shock. You were glad someone else saw what you saw.
The moment was quickly shut down when Shiro spoke. "Anyways, we are here to talk about forming an alliance with us to help defeat Zarkon." "Of course." Hilo said. The rest of dinner was spent you and Lance in silence and the rest talking about an alliance.
After dinner was over, Allura gave you a couple extra hours to do whatever you want. Pidge, Keith, Hunk and Shiro decided to talk to the locals some more, Allura is still talking to the queen and princess, and Lance decided to head back early, which worried you. You were just walking around, until you stumbled upon a pathway through a forest. Being the curious person you are, you decided to walk down the path and into the forest.
As you ventured deeper into the forest, you noticed that there were lights, sort of like lightning bugs, but they were purple, pink, green, and blue. They all started floating deeper into the forest down the path. You followed them and came to the most beautiful sight you've ever seen.
"Whoa..." It was a cliff. In the sky was a vibrant baby-blue moon, and a deep blue-violet sky, with stars that have a yellow hue to them. The moon and stars shown perfectly to make the light-turquoise ocean shine. The sand looked like an off-white, more of a cream color. Around the sand was more forest. There was a lone flower on the cliff, that was glowing a deep pink, surrounded by lush green grass.
The deep pink flower was calling to you, begging you to pick it. As you slowly approached it, you stumbled over a medium-sized stone, and you fell. As you were landing, you finger tips grazed one of the petals of the beautiful flower. When you looked up, the flower was glowing brighter than before. The glow spread down the stem and into the grass, while you pushed yourself into a kneeling position. The glow spread down the cliff, throughout the forest onto the sand, and into the ocean. The glow from the sea reflected onto the sky, reminding you of the northern lights on earth. Though you've never seen them in person, you knew they were beautiful.
You took it in for a couple moments. Everything was beautiful and luminescent. You wished you could stay here forever, but you had to protect the universe. And Lance.
When you stood up to leave, the glow retreated back into the flower. You'd have to come back. You promised yourself that you'd visit every night, since you had to stay a couple extra days to make sure the Galra didn't come back anyway.
You all said your goodbyes to your new allies, flew home, and got changed. After you were settled in, you decided to go hunt for Lance. You checked everywhere you thought he'd be; the kitchen, the pool, the lounge, and the control room. You didn't want to barge into his room, but he's not really leaving you any choice.
You opened his door and shut it behind you, surprised that it wasn't locked, due to what he was doing. You thought him cutting himself was the saddest thing you've seen, oh boy, that seemed like nothing compared to this.
There was a noose hanging in the center of the room. Lance was curled up on his bed, tears staining his cheeks, gashes from a razor dripping with his blood on his wrists and ankles, holding what you assumed would be his suicide note. He was looking at you in shock, mouth agape, and you did the same.
"Lance...... why....?" You weakly asked, tears brimming your eyes. "BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES ME! NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME! I'M JUST A BURDEN TO THEM!! I DOUBT THEY WOULD EVEN NOTICE THAT I'M GONE! You know why?! BECAUSE NO ONE CARES!!!!" He yelled at you, tears falling from his and now your eyes. "But I care." You said, calming your shaking breath and figure. You're words made him calm down and stare at you in shock.
"I care. I've always cared about you. I have cared since I've met you. I've cared for you when no one else would. I've cared for you when I walked in on you cutting. Maybe the others wouldn't notice, but I would. I would look for you. I'd search the galaxy just to find you. Because what would I do without you. My best friend. The blue Paladin of Voltron. The universe needs you. Earth needs you. Your family needs you. But they can wait. Because, right now, I need you." You spoke softly, and slowly got louder to a normal tone. Lance was shocked by your speech. "And this," you rip down the noose so it is lying on the floor, then grab his arm, gesturing to the cuts. "This is not the answer."
He pulled you into a tight hug. "Thank you, (Y/N). Thank you so much. Thank you for everything. And I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." Lance whispered into your ear, so only you could hear. "It's okay." You responded. "No it's not. I broke our promise." He whispered back, squeezing you tighter. "It IS fine. Just, you can't do that again." You said, squeezing him with the same amount of force. You stayed like that for a good 15 earth minutes, until he finally pulled back.
He wiped his tear-stained cheeks and gave you a small smile. "Thanks, (Y/N). I really needed that." "Don't mention it. I just couldn't lose you." You replied, giving him a small smile as well. "This is why your my bestie!" He said as his smile grew. Those words hit your heart with a pang, and they hurt you bad. You wouldn't show it, it wasn't the time, this was about him. You kept your smile and said, "Yup! Besties for life!"
You both laughed at your comment. You washed his cuts and wrapped them. He slipped on his coat and rolled down his jeans to hide his scars when you were done. You both decided to head to the dinning room, because the scene made you both starving. Little do you both know, everyone (except Coran) was waiting for Lance to talk about what the queen said to him.
As you and Lance walked in, everyone stood up from their seats and walked towards you both. "Hey guys! What's up?" He cheerily asked the others. You really admired how strong he was. Or how strong he pretended he was.
"Lance, we wanted to talk about what the queen said." Shiro stated. "What about it?" He asked curiously. You grit your teeth tightly. You knew this wouldn't end well.
"What did you do to get the queen and princess to say that about you? You didn't even say anything!" Allura said, coldly. Everyone was glaring at him. "We all know you did something, so just tell us!" Keith barked. You looked at Lance, who looked like he was fighting back tears, and barely winning.
"Well, we know it wasn't his charm, 'cause lord knows he has none of that!" Pidge remarked, and everyone laughed. You looked at Lance again, this time, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. No one seemed to notice, they were all still laughing. "Or his-" Hunk started, before you yelled.
"SHUT UP!!!!!" You shouted at the top of your lungs, making everyone look at you in shock, including Lance. You grabbed Lance's arm and rolled up his sleeves, revealing the cuts under the gauze that was bleeding through. Everyone gasped, and Lance looked down, embarrassed.
"THIS IS THE PRODUCT OF EVERYTHING YOU'VE SAID TO HIM!! Shiro, you're the team leader, and head of Voltron! You're not supposed to have favorites!! But we all know you'd choose ANYONE over Lance any day!!!" You shout, as Shiro bows his head in shame, a frown tugging at his lips.
"Allura, you know that every blue Paladin is insecure! Yet you pushed it aside because he is the slightest bit annoying!" Her face drops immediately after you say that.
"Pidge and Hunk, oh don't get me started! When things got just the tiniest bit stressful, you ditched him!" You yell. Pidge and Hunk look at each other sadly.
"And Keith, I just flat out expected better from you!" You say, as Keith looks away.
"We're sor-" "No." Allura started, but you cut her off coldly. "Sorry doesn't cut it. Sorry doesn't take back his scars, that YOU made him do. Sorry doesn't take back what I saw. But don't feel bad, after all, isn't this what you wanted? The nuisance to hang himself and disappear? Well, I really hope your happy. Cause he is SURE not."
Before anyone can say anything you drag Lance out of the room and into the White lion's hangar. You ignored all of the complaints of revolt from the blue Paladin. You were going to take him to the cliff you discovered earlier.
You landed white outside the forest and practically dragged Lance down the path. "(Y/N), it's fine. Let's go back. Where even are we?" Is what Lance kept asking while you were dragging him around the path. You were just there. The cliff was one step away for both of you, but Lance couldn't see it. He yanked his arm out of your grasp and you turned to look at him.
"(Y/N), I know you're concerned and all, but is this really necessary?! You dragged me off to who knows where! And-" Lance was almost yelling, and he was making gestures with both his hands in front of him. You smiled and grabbed his hands, and cut him off. "Do you trust me?" You asked him "Y-yeah.." he responded, clearly confused on why you asked that. You stepped to the side and held your arm out to gesture towards the cliff, not letting go of his other hand and not taking your eyes off him. His mouth was slightly open, and his eyes were wide. You weren't even sure he was blinking. Or breathing for that matter. He slowly stepped forward.
"Go on. Touch the flower's petal." You whispered to him, still smiling. He slowly walked towards the flower. You just watched from behind him. He knelt down, and touched the flower. The glow once again spread to create the beautiful, luminescent scene you knew you never could forget. You took a seat next to Lance, who was awestruck at the scene.
"Why are looking at me? Beauty is over there." He says and gestures to the sky and the land. You giggle and shake your head. "No. True beauty," You start and put your hand to his heart. "Is in here." You smile and he smiles back.
"Who taught you to flirt like that?" You both laughed at his comment. "My best friend. I guess he rubbed off on me." You replied and you both laughed again. "You're talking about me right?" Lance asked. You laughed, but from his expression he looked like he was serious, which made you laugh even harder. "Yes Lance, I'm talking about you." You say once you calmed down from your laughing fit. He beams at you, which makes you giggle.
You sit in silence for what felt like a half-hour. But it was a comfortable silence between 2 friends that secretly like each other, taking in a beautiful view. Until Lance decided to break it.
"Hey, (Y/N), can I.. tell you something? It been on my mind for a while now..." "You can tell me anything, Lance." You say and face him. You swear you saw him blush, or maybe that was the glow of the flower.
"Well l.... I-I've really liked for a while now, and I-i just think you should know that-" He was cut off by your hand on his cheek. Then you both leaned in, and closed the gap between you 2. You both instantly closed your eyes and melted into the kiss. It was passionate, but gentle. And this is what this boy does to you. You pulled away, because you needed stupid air to breathe. You were sure that you were both blushing.
"I love you more than you'll ever know." Lance finishes. You smile and intertwined your fingers. "And who says I don't feel the same?" You say. You scoot closer and rest your head on his shoulder, to which he puts his head on yours.
"You know, you're the only reason I'm still here, right?" He asks you, moving his head and looking at the sky.
You move your head to look at him and smile. "Guess I'll have to be your lifeline then." You reply. He smiled at you.
You were there with him, and you wouldn't change it for the world.