This Agreement is to serve as guidelines and clauses for the friendship of Serenity Chesterton (AKA Rini, AKA Rini-Nitti) and James Edward Wellington III (AKA Jamie, AKA Jamesy). As agreed, we will follow this arrangement, with no straying from the clauses and rules. If there is a breach in the contract, the injured party has the discretion on the kind of punishment or torture to be imposed to the other party. But reasonable means to remedy the breach is highly encouraged (I.E. talking it out).
1. Friends Forever Clause
Both parties agree to be best friends forever, regardless of distance or where life has taken them.
2. Contact Clause:
No matter where Rini or Jamie are, there will never be more than a week without a text, email, or a call to catch up on the other’s life.
3. Fair Warning Clause:
When both parties are separated for more than 2 months, there must be at least 72 hour warning upon return so the other can make the appropriate time for catching up. If sufficient time is not given, the offending party must stay more than 5 miles away for 72 hours, or until the other deems enough time has passed.
4. Escape Clause:
If one party is stuck on a date or in a relationship they cannot get out of, the other party agrees to do what they must to help plot an escape. To trigger this clause, the party who can’t get away will send text, email, or voicemail with the saying: “Are you an albino?”
5. Approval Cause:
If one party is dating someone, the other party must approve. If they do not, the man or woman who is dating either party has three chances to prove they are worthy.
6. Revenge Clause:
If one of the two gets hurt, the other one will be there as a shoulder to cry on. Also, to help hide the body of the offender.
7. Sickness Clause:
When one gets sick (with a common illness), the other will stay bedside and either nurse them to health, or join them in sickness.
8. Baby Clause:
If for any reason one party cannot have a child with their significant other, the other party will be a surrogate or donor, whichever is needed.
9. Emergency Backup Clause:
By the time both parties turn 29, if there is no marriage for either party and neither of them has a child, they will get engaged to be married by the time both of them turn 30.
10. Don’t Be Angry Clause:
If one party gets mad at the other, the silent treatment is unacceptable. The two parties will talk it out until neither of them are angry. Never leave each other on bad terms, whether for years or one night.