Parang binuhusan ako ng malamig na tubig pagkatapos niyang sabihin iyon. Parang nawala ang malaking bagay na nakadag-an sa akin at parang nanlambot ang katawan ko.
Bumuntong hininga ako at matalim siyang tiningnan.
Nakakainis. Halos mabaliw na ako kakaisip kung bakit ganoon ang trato niya sa akin tapos bigla siyang magiging ganun!
"Ewan ko sayo!" sabi ko at nilagpasan na siya.
Dirediretso ang lakad ko papuntang front seat. Tumigil ako nang nasa tapat na ako dahil hindi pa niya pinapatunog iyun. Matalim ko ulit siyang tiningnan at nang nakita iyun ay agad na niyang pinatunog ang kanyang sasakyan. Tsaka pa lang ako nakapasok.
Dumiretso na siya sa driver's seat at walang imik na pinaandar ito. Namayani ang katahimikan sa amin pero naputol nang tumunog ang cellphone ni Green. I saw Sammy's name on the screen. Nakapatong lang iyon sa dashboard kaya nakita ko at hindi niya sinasagot. Kinuha ko ang cellphone niya and tap the answer button.
"Hel----", hindi pa ako nakakaimik ng magsalita na ang nasa kabilang linya. Sa tono ng boses niya mukha siyang masaya.
"Oh My Gosh Green! Guess who's coming!" tili ng nasa kabilang linya.
Nilayo ko nang kunti yung cellphone sa tainga ko dahil masyadong naghyhyperventalate si Sammy.
Tumingin si Green sakin pero hindi niya kinuha yung cellphone niya.
"Uhh... Sammy---"
"Oww, wait... Heather?" aniya. Nagbago ang tono ng boses nang malaman niya kung sino ang kausap niya ngayon.
"Yes, We're in the car. And Green's driving. So I answered your call," sabi ko at naghihintay ng kanyang reaksyon.
"Ow...okay!?" aniya at parang nawalan ng gana na makipagusap.
"What are you saying again?" tanong ko. Hindi naliwanagan sa una niyang bungad kanina.
"Uhh...yes... I'll just tell Green later 'bout that. Don't bother. It's not that important."
Tumango tango ako sa kanyang sinabi.
"Take care you two. See you. Bye!" pinal niyang sinabi at binaba na ang nasa kabilang linya.
Nilagay ko na rin ang cellphone ni Green sa dashboard.
"Sammy's want a conversation with you later. I bet it's important." I sensed a sarcastic tone in my own voice.
Tumango siya at hindi pa rin man lang umiimik. Patuloy pa rin ang pagdadrive. Kumunot at noo ko sa reaksyon niya. Humarap na ako nang tuluyan sa kanya at magsasalita na sana nang bigla umimik.
"I'm sorry," aniya sa marahang boses.
Napatigil ako sa kanyang biglaang sinabi. Lalong kumunot ang noo ko sa pagseseryoso niya.
"For not talking to you... I mean," dugsong niya. Huminga ako nang malalim at umayos sa pagkakaupo.
I nodded.
Green is very careful. I've found how gentle he is. For months I met him, that's the thing I find in his action and that's a sweet attitude I wanted. At the same time, for months I met him, I didn't developed a deep feelings for him. Just a friend love. And he knew that, that's why he's very careful for the words he's saying, especially to me.
I know, I have a lot of things about Green that I didn't know. I don't have time for a boys since I don't have trust anymore for any guy except my brother and my father. But still, Green is my friend. Because of his behavior he shows me.
I'm not proud of myself because he shows me the sweet action that other girls wanted. He is attractive. Therefore many girls wanted him so much and because in his talent in dancing. He is very fond of it, like me. Maybe that's why I find it a comfortable feeling with him. And that's why we became a close friend.
I don't know why I didn't teach myself to love him. Yes, everytime I saw him with other girls, I feel like I'm being duped by someone. And its feeling is very familiar. And I don't want that to happen again. But my feelings for him are normal. I love him as a friend though he makes me feel uncomfortable when he acts or flirting with me.
"I wonder what your thinking about?" Nagulat ako sa biglaang pagsasalita niya.
Napalunok ako at bumaling sa labas. Hindi ko napansin na nandito na pala kami. Napansin kaya niya ang pagkatulala ko?
Bumaling ako sa kanya na nakataas ang isang kilay.
Ngumisi siya at umirap na lang ako. He's turning to be aggressive again despite what happened last minute ago.
"Shall we go? Don't make me fall for you in many times," aniya at lumabas na para pagbuksan ako.
Hindi ko alam kung nakailang irap ako pagkatapos niyang sabihin yun. He's beginning again with his words that makes me feel uncomfortable... always.
Pinagbuksan na niya ako at lumabas na rin kaagad nang hindi siya tinitingnan. Narinig ko ang munting halakhak niya pagkalampas ko.
Natawa na lang din at umiling iling.
Hindi pa nawawala ang ngiti sa labi ko nang mapatigil ako. Terrence's standing in front of the elevator. Mukhang kararating niya lang din.
Naabutan ako ni Green at bumaling ako sa kanya na ang mata'y diretso sa lalaking kaharap namin ngayon.
Hinawakan ko ang braso ni Green at marahang hinigit papasok sa elevator.
"Let's go," sabi ko at nagpatianod na lang siya sa hila ko.
Hindi pumasok si Terrence at diretso lang ang tingin samin. Tila hinihintay sumarado at wala talagang balak na sumabay samin. So what? Arte huh! I don't care, anyway.
Isa na rin kung bakit madaling napalapit kami ni Green. He's always there when I'm drunk because of such things. That's why I ended up telling him my situation. Like, why I always like that. And how my relationship with Terrence keep going. And how our relationship ended. He understand that, that's why he isn't rush.
Minsan naiisip ko na napakaswerte ko. Ito ako, binibigyan ng atensyon ng isang lalaking responsable. Isang lalaking mapagkakatiwalaan. Isang lalaking handang gawin lahat mapasaya ka lang at wag ka lang mapahamak. Pero hindi ko masuklian lahat ng iyon. Tanging pagmamahal lang bilang kaibigan ang kaya ko, siguro. Dahil kung mahal ko siya, matagal nang naging kami. Pero ayoko namang maging dahilan kung bakit siya masasaktan. Nasasaktan ko na nga siya ngayon, kapag naging kami pa kaya.
Pero hindi ko talaga maintindihan ang sarili ko. I don't know but for me, the way I treated Green is different from the way I treated my other friends. Maybe he's special to me. Maybe because my life is rely on him from the start.
Walang imikan sa loob ng elevator. Hindi na rin ako nagsalita at baka kung ano pang masabi ko. Natauhan na lang ako nang bumukas ito at dumiretso na kami sa tamang kwarto pagkatapos.
Pagkabukas ni Green ng pinto ay halos silang lahat ay nandito na. At ang lalo pang inkinunot ng noo ko ay tipon tipon sila sa isang lugar. Nagkakatuwaan sila na para bang matagal silang hindi nagkita.
Nang naramdaman nilang may dumating ay medyo lumayo na sila sa isa't isa. Saka ko lang namataan ang isang babae. She's wearing a pitch maxi dress. She's tall and fair like a model artist in some magazines. She has a straight black hair that's perfectly ponytailed.
"Oh my. Green!" Narinig ko kaagad ang boses ni Sammy kung saan. Tumayo siya sa sofa at para siyang may surpresang sasabihin sa hitsura niya. Nang namataan niya ako'y nawala agad ang excitement sa kanyang mukha. I wonder what's going on.
Tiningnan ko si Green at nakita ko siyang parang natigilan din sa babaeng kaharap namin ngayon na ngayon ko lang din nakita. Maybe she's an old member of Bravehearts before I in. Her face is not familiar but it seems like they all know who she is, except for me.
Green's POV
"Who are you with now huh?" she sarcastically said while we're walking in a hall out of the room.
Nagpaalam ako kay Clayton na may pag-uusapan lang kami and unfortunately he allows it. Not that I don't want to be with her but I don't want to talk to her right now because we are busy preparing our performance. And of course, Heather didn't know who she is. Not that she'll be jealous about Laureen but I don't want her to be mad at me for not telling her about my ex.
"Is it another girl you're playing with?" dagdag niya.
"What do you want?" avoiding her question. Tumigil ako sa paglalakad at hinarap siya. Her features didn't change other than she's a bit mature now. Her hair is longer than before. She's tall but I'm an inch taller than her so our age gap are not vividly said.
She stop walking and stare at me. She crossed her arms and smiled but it didn't reach up to her ear.
I equalled her with incurious stare. I'm not really interested on her maybe before but now is different. We ended up with good taste and propriety. So there is no reason to be rude at her unless she will.
"I am your boss now so be polite at me baby," nakangiti niyang sinabi na ipinagkunot ng noo ko. "I just miss you and I want to catch up with you..."
"What---?"
"Let me finish. Of course including the Bravehearts, not only you dear so don't worry," paliwanag niya.
Laureen is older than me. She finish her college in States. I'm a 1st year college while she's 3rd year when we broke up. She said she want to finish her college with her parents in abroad. She didn't want a long distance relationship so we did end it. It hurt of course, a lot. But I'm not stupid to spill because of that. I'm not weak to not continue my life.
Like me, she's good at dancing. And I bet she's professional now in terms of that because I know that she didn't stop her dancing while abroad.
Umawang ang labi ko at hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat sabihin.
"Don't be nervous. I will not eat you," she chuckled. "By the way..." Lumapit siya sa akin at inilapit ang bibig sa tainga ko. "I am so attractive to you and I'm still in love with you...my future husband," halos hindi ko na marinig ang sinabi niya dahil sa pagkakatulala ko. I swallowed the lump in the throat.
"What do you mean?" Pinilit kong gawing normal ang boses ko at hindi magpadala sa kanyang sinasabi.
She chuckled.
Umayos na siya ng tayo at tumalikod na pero hindi siya naglakad.
"You're too serious. Let's go, kanina pa nila ako hinihintay." Pagkatapos niyang sabihin iyon ay nagsimula na siyang maglakad pabalik sa studio.
Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at sumunod na sa kanya.
"Okay guys, I have an announcement," si Clayton.
Pagkapasok ko kanina ay tinipon niya na agad kaming lahat para raw sa importanteng sasabihin that I know it's Laureen. Si Heather naman ay kanina pang si Sammy ang kasama. Pero hindi na siya ngayon nilalapitan ng ex niyang si Terrence. Good! At least he gave up. Or not.
"I know some of you already know her since ilang taon din siyang nag-aral dito ng college at lalo na dito sa Bravehearts. But still, this is Laureen Zaire Huston..." inilahad niya si Laureen samin at sabay sabay naman silang nagpalakpakan. "Marami na siyang nasalihang dance competition abroad and she'll be willing to train you guys from now on," paliwanag ni Clayton dahilan ng mas lumakas na palakpakan nila. It's not surprising actually.