[Re-cap]:
It was terrifying how close I’d come to telling Adam everything. Too close.
I cringed in pain as my mother’s voice was suddenly there in my head, whispering the words that I couldn’t stop believing, no matter how hard I tried:
“When that Someone comes along and he’ll try to unlock you, he’ll see you for who you really are. And he’ll be running in the opposite direction. So don’t show them your heart.”
Adam tilted his head, the wind from the open window whipping his hair back, blowing his scent into my face. I could smell the after shave, the slightly muted spice that was solely Adam’s smell.
And all I could think was,
Too close.
***
{Part 34}
I raised my hand and hesitated. My finger brushed the ‘1’ button, then proceeded on its memorized path.
I dialed 1-8-8-2 and soon the click of the receiver brought down Mr. Wells’ voice. “Wells’ Residence.”
“Hi, Mr. Wells,” I ventured as Adam stood by my side, his broad shoulders back, hands in his pockets. “It’s Shawna and Adam,” I felt myself begin to blush as I said his name and he turned to give me the smallest of smiles.
“Come right up,” Mr. Wells’ voice crackled over the intercom, and then we were buzzed in, the bellboy holding the door open for us.
“Hey, Liam,” I grinned at his ever-cheerful face.
“Shawna,” he returned the greeting. “The World’s Greatest Kid has been telling the entire building about your visit.”
“Whoops,” I laughed, knowing full well how Jaime could never keep a good thing only to himself, but insisted on sharing the best news possible with absolutely everyone. “Should I keep it a surprise next time?”
“Honestly, it’s been good to see him that excited. Besides, everyone here thinks he’s one of God’s own angels, so it’s not like anyone minds.”
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who considered Jaime an angel. I smiled at that.
“But I was wondering,” Liam continued, hesitating. “What happened?”
Liam looked at me as I opened my mouth, knowing full well what he was asking: why were the Wells completely fine with my visits now, when they hadn’t ever made it a secret that they’d loathed me before?
“I—,” I stammered, not knowing what to say or how to answer.
You see, my mother told my little brother’s foster family that I’m a dirty whore and to keep him away from me. At all costs. Even if it’s ten thousand dollars more than what I could ever have afforded to glimpse his angelic little face.
But instead, I felt a powerful yet gentle arm wrap around my waist and carefully pull me so that my back was pressed against Adam’s strong chest. I felt him breathing as he answered for me.
“It was me,” Adam announced modestly. “They absolutely adore me, I don’t know why. I decided to bring Shawna along, though, since she asked nicely.”
Twisting my body, I turned to give Adam a better view of the flat look I was giving him. He grinned mischievously down at me.
Liam chuckled. “Okay,” he said good-naturedly, understanding that it wasn’t something I was comfortable telling him. “I just hope that you didn’t forget his ice cream; he’s almost as excited to eat it as he is to see you,” he winked at both of us.
I frowned, mystified. “What ice cream?”
Behind me, Adam said a word that I prayed Jaime would never learn, and suddenly the arm from around my waist – which I had been enjoying as much as I casually could – disappeared.
“Gotta go back to my car,” Adam called over his shoulder, jogging back out the way we’d come. Completely distracted by how good the back view of his jeans was, it took awhile to realize that Liam was laughing at me. By then, Adam was already in the parking lot, rummaging around in his trunk for something.
“What?” I demanded again, bewildered, as Liam continued to grin at me.
“Nothing; it’s just good to see you happy with him. And whatever Adam did or didn’t do to the Wells, it’s resulted in Jaime being happy, too. So I think he’s been good for the two of you, and you don’t know how glad I am to see it.”
I was touched, but also flaming red. “That’s really sweet, Liam, that you care so much about me and Jaime, but Adam and I aren’t together.”
Liam looked positively shocked. Then his knowing look returned as he shook his head at me. “I keep forgetting how young you really are,” he said patronizingly, giving me a kind look.
Annoyed, I tossed my head and looked at him. “This is Adam we’re talking about; he doesn’t do ‘together.’ It’s all “me, myself, and I” on his ship flying solo.”
But as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I felt a heat wave of shame roll over me. That wasn’t true; the more I got to know Adam, the more deeply touched I was by his ability to be so tender and caring and thoughtful.
With other relationships, the ones which started off with both sides trying to please the other, it always came as disappointments as they inevitably discovered the bad in the other. With Adam, it was the opposite. I’d started off hating him. But the longer I knew him, the more I realized that he was, under the abrasive, defensive exterior, a truly good person. Liam was right; without any of us noticing it, he’d done a lot of good for me and Jaime.
“Well, clearly you don’t know Adam as well as it looked like to me,” Liam raised his eyebrows. “Let me just tell you that Adam doesn’t tease girls, and neither does he flirt.”
“What?” I gasped. “You have met him, right?”
Liam looked at me strangely. “Yeah, he’s a mutual friend of practically every friend I’ve got. Everyone knows him. And every girl flinging herself at his 6’3 body knows that Adam never, ever flirts.”
I stared at him, stunned. “But he’s such a smooth talker!”
“When he wants to be,” Liam acknowledged, shrugging. “But let’s be honest here, Shawna. With a face and body like that, do you think that boy has ever had to open his mouth to get a girl? He’s used to them coming to him, falling into his lap – literally – and I’ve never seen him particularly exert himself or profess any genuine interest for any girl. Until you shocked me by casually coming in with his arm around you and with him looking at you like that.”
His last sentence brought back the familiar heat; I hated how easily I always blushed.
“I—you’re mistaken,” I automatically told the ground. Liam snorted.
“Yeah, okay, Shawna.”
His tone implied anything but ‘yes’ or ‘okay.’
I scowled at my hammering heart, and it skipped several beats out of complete fright when a loud banging noise boomed behind me. Whirling, I saw Adam pressed against the lobby’s glass door, not wanting to call the Wells to buzz him in, instead mouthing words at me and pointing at the door.
“I think he wants you to open it for him,” Liam observed in amusement.
Cracking a grin, I took my sweet time sauntering over, then stood right in front of him, the wall of glass separating us. I widened my eyes innocently, then pointed at my ears, faking a confused look.
Adam gave me a flat glance, before inhaling deeply and bellowing, “OPEN THE DAMN DOOR, SHAWNA!”
I heard him through the glass, only slightly muffled, but I continued shaking my head and mouthing I can’t hear you.
Adam stood still for a moment before reaching into the portable cooler he had slung over his shoulder, and pulling out a Haagen-Dazs. Then he walked a couple steps over, leaned against the wall, and serenely proceeded to eat his ice cream on a stick.
Disappointed, I sulkily opened the door for him. He licked off a peanut and winked at me before strolling past with a cheerful, “Waiting on you, now. Come on Shawna, into the elevator.”
Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Liam holding the elevator open and Adam already inside it. I walked in and waved to Liam, heating up at the pointed wink he sent me right before the doors closed.
“What are you scarlet about now?” Adam commented on my cheeks, popping the rest of his ice cream into his mouth so that only the stick stuck out.
I ignored his question, shaking my head in amazement. “What’s with you and ice cream?”
“We’re seeing each other.”
“Often?”
“...Yeah,” Adam admitted, patting his cheese-grater worthy abs.
The doors slid open and Adam actually held the door for me. Instead of walking out, I stood and stared at him in shock.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Adam began sarcastically, “I forgot your invitation to leave the elevator at home.”
“Dammit, Adam,” I joked. “Now what?”
He aimed a martyred look at the ceiling. “Move it, Shawna,” he ordered, but I saw the corners of his lips twitch as he followed me out and down the hallway.
“When did you promise my little brother ice cream, anyway?” I asked as we walked past the doors.
“When we were playing baseball, I kind of made a bet with the little guy,” Adam replied nonchalantly, swinging the bag behind his body.
“Wow, you really do corrupt the youthful innocence of those you meet,” I commented. “Not only are you bringing him junk food, but it’s the result of gambling? Lucky that Jaime won; Lord knows what he was supposed to give you otherwise.”
Adam followed me as we took a right turn. “I am highly offended,” he announced. “Haagen-Dazs is heavenly; even God loves Haagen-Dazs. And second, I really think you should stop being so overprotective of Jaime and let him make his own decisions. His little soul would’ve been the price if he’d lost our bet, and I think that’s a perfectly reasonable price to pay for Haagen-Dazs. Damn cheap, if you ask me.”
Alarmed, I glanced at Adam from the corner of my eye. “In the future, can you keep Jaime out of your disturbing passion for ice cream? Thanks.”
We reached number 1882 just as Adam snickered quietly behind me.
“I’m just kidding. The bet was entirely in Jaime’s favour; either way, he wouldn’t have owed me anything.”
“What was the bet about?”
Suddenly in a hurry to see Jaime, Adam ignored the question and reached across me to knock on the door. It opened to show Mrs. Wells, wiping her hands on her apron and stepping aside to let us in.
“Jaime was beginning to wonder if you’d gotten stuck in the elevator,” she told us, smiling and surprising me by giving me a hug. Hesitantly, I returned the embrace. I still hadn’t gotten used to Mrs. Wells not being hostile towards me.
“Well he wasn’t that far off,” Adam said dryly, just as a childish cry drowned out all other sound.
“SHAWNA! ADAM! YOU’RE HERE!”
Grinning, I saw a blur zoom past us as Jaime hastily tried to brake, nearly toppling his wheelchair over. Mrs. Wells and I gave a horrified gasp at the same time, but the wheelchair righted itself, leaving Jaime thankfully still in it.
“Jaime Roberts,” Mrs. Wells scolded, one hand on her heart, “How many times a day must I tell you not to speed?”
The sinful little Angel merely beamed in reply; I could see him shaking in his seat, trapped in the chair and unable to jump on us, which was probably what Jaime would’ve done back when he could walk.
He held out his thin arms to me, his enormous eyes brilliant with colour, his cheeks flushed. In two steps I was kneeling in front of him. I wrapped my arms around Jaime, feeling his thin arms go around my own neck, his fragile chest breathing heavily as he babbled into my ear.
“I can’t believe that you’re finally here! I wish you’d visited me sooner, but Momma Two said that you were probably busy, and, and...oh!”
The last exclamation was Jaime’s gasp of happiness and his arms disappeared from around me. I turned where I was crouched to see Adam standing behind me, grinning down at Angel and holding out the portable cooler. I caught a glimpse of the ice cream inside, and nearly gasped myself. Just about every type of ice cream bar was in the cooler, and there must have been nearly thirty varieties.
My own eyes nearly as wide as Jaime’s, I looked up at Adam. “That’s some majorly good haul, buddy,” I told the adorable kid in the wheelchair, looking positively gleeful as he pulled out a caramel drumstick. He regarded Adam with worship-filled, reverant eyes. I sighed, already resigning myself to bringing Adam along every time from now on. There was no chance that Jaime would allow me to leave Adam behind now.
“Not before lunch, Jaime,” Mrs. Wells’ voice suddenly reminded him, and she held out her hand to him.
Jaime’s entire face fell, his eyes swimming with emotion. “Aww, but Momma Two!” he pleaded, and it nearly broke my heart to look at his face. How he managed puppy dog eyes that good, I would never know.
But something else was tugging at my mind, as Jaime sadly handed over the ice cream bar.
“Momma Two?” I asked in confusion.
Jaime’s morose face gradually disappeared as he explained. “She’s my second Momma, so I just started calling her Momma Two. I wouldn’t want to get them confused in my head,” he told me seriously.
I blinked at him, a little stunned. Jaime had been only three and a half when our real mother had died.
“You remember Mom?” I asked him softly.
His large, sweet eyes stared right back into mine as he nodded. “I remember,” he said simply.
Briefly, I wondered what, exactly, he remembered. Our father had been killed in the Accident – I winced – when Jaime had been two. The Accident had left Jaime scarred and in a wheelchair, and our mother a bitter woman. My heart began aching and involuntary tears had sprung to my eyes, so I gave Jaime a wan smile from where I crouched in front of him, his angelic features looking into my own.
Leaning in, I gave him a soft kiss on his silky forehead and stood up, just as Mr. Wells came in from the balcony, steaming sausages still smoking from the grill as he announced lunch.
Jaime exploded once more into his animated chatter, the criss-crossing scars on his arms becoming visible as his sleeves rode up. He struggled only briefly to turn his wheelchair around, wheeling himself to the dinner table and laughing up at Mrs. Wells.
Suddenly sensing someone’s gaze, I turned to see Adam quietly looking at me. The expression in his eyes – something incredibly soft and concerned at the same time – took my breath away, and I quickly turned, trying to catch my breath from its unexpectedness. No one had looked at me like that in a long, long time.
“Shawna,” his quiet voice said into my ear, catching my hand before I could lunge towards where the others sat, distributing plates, “it’s not your fault,” he said, making me shudder at how clearly he’d been able to see what I’d been thinking.
“Let’s go enjoy your time with your family,” he continued, and now warmth blossomed as I realized that the Wells had become a part of my family, too. “Everything will be alright, okay?”
Gently placing his hands on my waist, he spun me so that I faced him. “I promise,” he said, his blue eyes as deep as the ocean. There was a quiet confidence in his face, and it felt so good to pretend for just a little while that his promise was real, and that all the broken things were being put together.
So I smiled back at him. “Okay.”
“Okay,” he repeated, as I marveled inside me how this young man promising me impossible things could be the same one I’d hated only a few weeks earlier. And Liam’s words from downstairs made me blush and break our gaze as I felt the sweeping gratitude go over me at everything this boy had done for me.
And for what he was still doing to me:
Fixing me.
"Thank you," I whispered. But he was already sitting down, and my Angel was smiling at me, as I walked over to join my family.