Zak's POV
I open my eyes to see Aaron leaning against the wall directly in front of me. I don't move, and just stare at my oldest friend. Then, I abruptly notice a weight on my shoulder and a pressure against my palm.
I turn my head slightly to look to my right, and see Saira's brown-black hair resting on my shoulder. Looking down at my hand, I see her long fingers intertwined with mine. I look back up at Aaron, and he meets my gaze with calm brown eyes.
Jay and Billy sit forward in their chairs by the single window, their card game forgotten. We all just stare at each other until Aaron breaks the silence. "She's been like that for the past three hours." He nods at Saira, who lies as still as death itself. I look away from the girl, the murderess, and gaze instead at Jay and Billy's calm faces.
"Heart attack, apparently," Jay says to my questioning look. I nod, then look at Billy. He shrugs and says,"I voted to wake you up and run back to the hotel. You're too young to have a spontaneous heart attack." I nod again, and look back at Aaron.
He shrugs and says,"The person that I talked to, a medic that questioned us, said that a call had been placed about three minutes earlier to that spot. The medic said that the 911 dispatcher said that the caller was a female, but that she sounded as calm as ever, as if she knew what was going to happen." I blink at Aaron, and look over at Saira, asleep on my shoulder, and think about this girl that had saved my life, but had failed so many others.
"At least you must be comfortable, with her on your shoulder." I give Aaron a weird look, and he smiles, giving me a chill of fear. "I hear you leave our room and enter hers in the middle of the night, Zak. I'm not that dumb. And besides, I can see it in your eyes that you like her. Don't try to deny it; I can see past your lies." I blink, open my mouth, pause, then close it again. Aaron had painted me into a corner, and he knew it; the smile on his face said it all.
"Hey, Aaron," I say, my voice scratchy. "Did you bring the van?" Aaron rolls his eyes in almost a perfect imitation of Saira, and says,"No, Zak. We walked. Yes, I brought the van." I smile, and ask,"In the glove department is a small book. Can you bring it to me please?" Aaron nods and walks out of the room. A few seconds later, a pretty nurse walks in with a clipboard.
"Hello, Mr. Bagans. How do you feel?" she asks, looking at the monitors around me. I smile slightly and say,"Good. Better than before." The nurse smiles and says,"That's because of her." She nods at Saira, and all three of us guys blink at her.
"Apparently, she calms you down. Before you came in, the paramedics said that you were freaking out and had the highest blood pressure they had ever seen. A few minutes later, when one of them came in, your girlfriend was holding your hand and was sleeping on your shoulder. Your blood pressure and heart rate was immediately back to normal. She's a lucky girl. Has a healing touch, if I ever saw one." The nurse smiles, and I close my mouth against a retort to the complete opposite, and just nod. Then, a word she said comes back to my mind, and I say,"She's not my girlfriend."
The nurse looks surprised, and says,"Well, we all thought you were. I mean, there are no recent scars on her arms. The latest we could find we dated to probably two months ago. We thought that maybe since she met you she had stopped-" "You looked at her scars?" I say sharply, anger tinging my words. The nurse flinches, guilt flashing across her face, and says apologetically,"Her sleeves were kind of rolled up, and I couldn't help my curiosity-" "Then maybe you should learn to control your curiosity," I snap, a strange annoyance burning in my chest.
She looks at me with sad eyes, and says,"That's another reason we thought you two were dating. You talk in your sleep. Something about angels, demons, scars, and someone named Saira. We guessed that Saira was the girl's name. We also have her logged under a therapist, which she'll see as soon as she wakes up." With that astonishing statement, the nurse leaves the room, my eyes boring holes into the back of her skull.
"Scars?" Billy says quietly; I jump, having forgotten that the two of them sat just a few feet away. "Yeah," I mutter, looking at Saira's arm, which I realize now is bare, the long black sleeve rolled up to reveal her pale, scarred skin. Billy looks sad while Jay looks slightly curious and slightly disgusted. "It's a story for her to tell. I won't reveal secrets she holds," I say to fill the uncomfortable silence that fills the room. Thankfully, that silence is broken again as Aaron walks into the room.
He hands me the black book, then goes back to his place against the wall. I open the book to the page I marked yesterday afternoon, when I started reading the book after leaving Saira's room. My eyes scan across the page, the words not really registering in my mind. Billy and Jay turn back to their game, which Aaron joins in with.
I pause after a paragraph, then go back and read it again to make the words sink in. The page is marked with the date of June 4, 2004, instead of a page number. Saira's typed words gleam back at me from the white paper, and I breathe in the sweet scent of new paper and old leather. The smell brings back memories of childhood, when I devoured one book after another.
I'm so wrapped up in reading Saira's words that I don't realize that she's reading along with me until she murmurs,"Isabel didn't deserve to die like that either." I look over at her, and see her green eyes on the typed words of her book, which is more like a printed diary. "Isabel was nice, at least to everyone but me. That still doesn't make up for her to be beaten and hanged." I stare at Saira until she looks at me, then I quietly whisper,"You didn't stop them from hurting her?" Saira shakes her head slightly, and says,"If you keep reading, you'll know why."
I turn back to the book, and continue to read, a part of me relishing Saira's presence beside me while another part revolted at this blood-stained person's hand gripping mine. When I reach the end of the chapter, I sigh and look over at Saira, pity in my eyes.
"Don't, Zak. I don't need your pity," she says quietly but firmly. I gesture to the book, and whisper,"But this? Really? You were forced to watch her die, Saira. You didn't deserve to get a scar on your back for that." Saira's jade irises glimmer, and she says,"Maybe not, but one of them I did. Next chapter is about Justin, one of the ones who hurt Isabel. Died from blood loss. They found his body in the woods, in a cabin. They never found the killer." The utter calmness on her face and in her voice scares me, but I refuse to let my fear show.
Saira seems to detect my fear, though, because she says,"He deserved it. A death for a death. Maybe not the cleanest or sneakiest way to dispose of him, but I wanted to send a message to the others, and he was the one who hurt her the most. I may sound calm about all this, Zak, but inside I'm crying and whimpering and screaming. Their deaths, all of them, haunt me to this day. Ever since kindergarten, when I watched that girl get shot in the road by a passerby gangster. I need no pity, nor fear, nor hate. I live with enough of that, most of which is directed at myself."
Saira looks down at her arm, the scars lacing together in intricate patterns of black and red. The sight of her looking at the harm she did to herself reminds me of what the nurse said. "Saira, the nurse said that she signed you up for a therapist. She said that once you wake up you're supposed to go to him. She looked at your scars while I was asleep." Saira looks up at me, and says softly,"Maybe I need one. I considered another scar during my shower yesterday, you know. But, I knew somehow that you were coming soon after, so I refrained from doing so. I knew that the sight of blood would frighten you."
I blink at her, surprised that she cared not for her own blood loss and possible death, but for my dislike of blood. She smiles tiredly at me, and moves to pull her hand out of mine. I grip her hand tightly to stop her, and smile shyly when she looks at me with surprise. "Even though your past is dark," I whisper,"you can still make your future shine." She blinks, and her gaze unfocuses for a second. "Even broken glass can be glued back together. It may not always be as pretty afterward, but it is still mended." She blinks, refocusing her eyes, and looks at me.
"Something a ghost said. At the Wiza Hotel. He was talking about my soul, how it's split into twenty-seven pieces. Each piece represents a scar upon my back. He was talking about how Alice wanted me to be the one to find her body. He killed himself, too, after trying to kill his fiance's lover. Strange how some spirits are so closely related to you, but are thousands of bloodlines away." Saira's eyes grow distant, but are sparked back into the present by the arrival of the nurse from earlier.
"Hello again, Mr. Bagans. And hello to you too, Saira. It is Saira, correct?" she says brightly, smiling at me. Saira nods, confusion billowing across her face. "Alright then. Saira, I have you scheduled for an appointment with Dr. Thely. Please follow me, and we'll get you to him as quickly as humanly possible." The nurse leaves hurridly, not even noticing that Saira hadn't moved an inch.
She comes back again a few moments later, looking politely confused. "Saira? I thought I said to follow me?" Saira stares at the woman, humor and annoyance scrunching up her mouth. "I don't walk into the dragon's cave without armor," Saira says coolly, which seems to startle the nurse, as if she didn't know that Saira could speak.
"You sound like one of the books my son always has his nose in. His new favorite author is someone by the name of Saira Polaris. Weird last name, if you ask me, but apparently her books are very good." The nurse looks disgruntled and happy at the same time, while Saira's expression changes to one of amusement. "Maybe the last name is a pseudonym? A fake name?" The nurse's expressioon clears as realization dawns in her eyes, and she stares at Saira in wonder. A cocky smile curls my friend's lips, which quickly disappears as the nurse speaks again.
"Well, if you want to continue writing more books, Saira, then you need to come with me. Those scars on your arms are very dangerous, especially the sheer amount of them. I bet that, given all the evidence on your skin, that if you tried to hurt yourself again, then you would have to reopen one of those cuts. Now, actually follow me this time, okay? It's a short walk, I promise." Saira's eyes darken, and she says slowly,"I'm not talking to a therapist about my scars, lady. I don't reveal my past to someone I just met." I squeeze her hand tightly to remind her that I'm there, and that she literally gave me a book detailing each of her encounters with death after knowing me for a little over two weeks. Her thumb taps my hand back, a clear sign that she was simply fibbing to the nurse just to get her to leave.
The nurse looks disgruntled, and she says slowly,"I believe I misheard you, Saira. You don't want help." Saira nods, her gaze never leaving the woman's. The blonde-haired woman looks startled and scared, and she says hesitantly,"May I ask why not?" Saira's eyes narrow, and she says curtly,"No. It's my business, and mine alone." The girl looks shocked, then angry. "Why not? This could help you! This could save your life!" Saira cocks her head at the woman, and says questioningly,"Like it could've saved your brother?"
The nurse's large blue eyes widen, and she gapes at Saira. Saira nods to a spot right next the nurse, and says,"He's very nice. He says that you shouldn't blame yourself. He made his choice, but you don't have to live with it." The nurse looks shocked, then sad, then stone-faced. She turns and runs out of the room, tears starting to leak from her eyes.
Everyone's eyes are on Saira. She looks around, and says,"What? She was riding my ass. I had to tell her something." Jay chokes on his words as he says,"You mean you made that up, about her brother?" Saira rolls her eyes, and says,"Of course not. I wouldn't do that. All I wanted was for her to go away and leave me alone." Aaron gapes at her, then laughs. "Well, at least she had a valid reason behind it."
I look at my friend, and say,"Really? How can you laugh at this?" Aaron shrugs and asks,"How can you not?" At that, we all laugh wearily, just because no one gets Aaron whatsoever.
"So, Saira," Jay says after he stops laughing. The audio/visual tech leans forward, elbows on knees, and traps Saira in his brown gaze. "What did the nurse mean by scars?" I feel Saira tense up beside me, and squeeze her hand reflexively. She doesn't look at me, but I can sense her appreciation for my hidden gesture.
She lets go of my hand to pull up her other sleeve. The absense of her heated skin against mine brings a cold feeling to my hand and heart. Saira finishes rolling up her sleeve, and tugs up her other sleeve a little more before laying her bare arms on my chest, palms facing upward. The three guys walk over to the bedside, and stare at the Xs and patterns drawn on Saira's white skin like a deranged game of tic-tac-toe.
Aaron and Billy step backward, their faces pale and frightened. Jay, in contrast, leans forward, his nose almost touching Saira's skin. I knew that Jay's natural curiosity overruled his feeling of disgust, but all the same, the closeness of one of my friends to Saira was putting me slightly on edge. Inside my head, I say, Why are you being so protective? She isn't your girlfriend. You even told the nurse that. Get over it; move on. You need no one else in this life.
But, looking at Saira's scarred arms, and remembering her words to me, about not harming herself because of me, makes me think otherwise. I continue to breathe after Jay leans back, and catch Aaron's eye. My friend smiles slyly, and I glare at him. Then, the astonishing truth of her past Saira just showed us is shattered by the entry of a new person.
I look at the nicely-dressed man with annoyance. He doesn't look at me, though, as his gaze zeroes in on Saira. I see his eyes flick to her exposed arms, which Saira pulls back to her chest protectively. The absense of her warmth once again fires cold through my skin, but I control my urge to grab Saira's arm back, jut to feel the heat of her skin once more.
The man smiles at Saira, his perfect white teeth flashing like spotlights from his dark skin. His pale brown eyes roam over the rest of us, alert and sharp. Saira folds her arms to hide the scars further, and glares at the white-coated man. "My name is Dr. Marcus Thely. I'm a therapist here at the hospital. My main subject, though, is the concept of suicide. A nurse just told me that a girl named Saira was unwilling to follow her to my office. May I ask why not?"
Dr. Thely smiles kindly at Saira, who glares back with enough anger to burn a hold through the doctor's head. "No, you may not. And, as I already told the nurse, I do not tell my past to people I've just met. Scars or not," she snaps back at him. The doctor looks unperturbed by this, and sits on the edge of my bed instead, gaze locked on Saira.
"Would you rather we talk in front of your friends, where you're obviously more comfortable," Dr. Thely suggests, glancing around at all of us once more before settling his gaze back on Saira. Saira doesn't flinch, but says,"Of course. If my friends wish to hear." Dr. Thely, along with both Saira and me, look at the three guys huddled in the corner. They all nod, and Dr. Thely's gaze returns to Saira.
She shrugs, and says,"My family died when I was fourteen. I got bullied in high school and college. Have horrible nightmares. Ghosts and demons plague me every day. I thought the only way to escape all the drama was the shadowlands. There, happy? Now, please leave." Dr. Thely looks shocked by this, and says quickly,"Nothing else? No certain people that offset the cutting? No one who physically harmed you?" Saira's face looks pained, and she flexes her shoulders, where I remember the long, dark scratches that mar her back.
"No," she says shortly, and Dr. Thely nods. But, the expression on his face tells that he didn't believe a word Saira said. Nonetheless, he stands, and smiles at Saira once more before leaving the room. Soon after, a nurse comes in, and tells me that I can leave. I smile at her and thank her, then stand, forgetting that I'm in a hospital gown.
I look up at the nurse, who's smiling mischievously. "I'll get your clothes, Mr. Bagans." She leaves, and my friends all smile at me. I laugh, and they laugh as well. Seeing the smile on Saira's face lightens my heart, if not my worries about her past and the scars that lay upon her body as deadly reminders.
After the nurse gives me my clothes back and I change (with Saira leaving the room, of course), we check out and walk out to the van. We all clamber in, breathing in the familiar car smell we've become accustomed to over the past few weeks. Then, as Billy gets onto the highway on the way back to the hotel, my phone buzzes in my pocket.
Taking it out, I see a text from Saira gleaming back up at me. I unlock my screen, and read Saira's words. Meet me upon the apex under the sky of black and silver. I blink at my phone for a second, then text back, Do you ever speak normally? I sense Saira laughing in the back seat, then see her reply pop up. Nope. It's more fun to be confusing. My eyes roll, and I text back, Obviously. When should we meet? The reply is immediate. Any time when Orion aims at the neighboring fires. A smile curls my lips, and I say back, Never change, Saira. We need more confusing writers in the world. Shakespeare would be a good friend of yours. I hear Saira actually laugh at that, and see a smily face stare back up at me from my phone screen.
I click off text messaging, and stare at the photo of Gracie, my black-and-white dog that I found as a stray. She had become one of my closest friends, and had even been trained by me to be a ghost hunter. Saira and Gracie aren't too different, I think as I stare at the picture of my beloved pet. Both came from difficult backgrounds, both were hunting ghosts, and both were close friends of mine. Maybe even more so for one of them.
I stare out the window, thinking of the night that's coming, and imagining how the stars will reflect in Saira's jade irises.
AN: Hello, everyone. I am very sorry for not posting in a while; the internet has been down at my house for a long time, so I haven't had a chance to post. I hope all these new chapters make up for it, though. Please comment if you like the chapters or have any ideas for lockdowns!