"And if the sky should ever die.
We'd make our own light,
You and I."
~John Mark Green
————
February 25th, 1971.
It's on cold days you realise the kind of warmth the body craves and that perhaps you're truly alone.
Warmth just the byproduct of what loneliness really is, like an ugly hell hound.
Loneliness we know is the most familiar thing. And maybe that's what Kemi feels when Funni wouldn't look him in the eyes anymore, wouldn't hold his hand or want body contact with him.
It's not that she doesn't love him anymore—-
It was just the wrong kind. Perhaps in another life they would be something greater than what she'd reduced them to.
The guilt wouldn't let her inhale the scent that lingered on his dark skin she loved to feel under her fingertips.
Times changed, she changed and she didn't know how to tell him slowly, to not break his heart into a million pieces in just a few words.
She wasn't being cruel, she knew that. She was putting herself and her feelings first, something she had never done.
It was her life and this feeling was so new to her and she was tired of the 'it's what they would want for me.'
But seeing Kemi now, his eyes glazed over in his sorrow, she couldn't tell if keeping him was what she wanted or what her parents wanted.
At least when she pleased Pierce, he pleased her as well. A give and take.
She licks her lips, her blood turning to ice as they stare at one another. The words weren't even formulating, what would she say to him?
Her mouth opens and then closes abruptly. That's it, that's exactly it, she wasn't going to say anything.
"Kemi I-"
One moment she feels her lips moving, words filling the space now replaced by the smacking of lips and his harsh breathing—
"Kemi-" He kissed her again, she pulled away, placing her hands between their bodies. "Kemi stop."
"Why don't you love me anymore? Is it the distance? Something I did? What did I do?" His mind raced, firing each question.
He needs to know, if she felt caged then she should have spoken up. Even when he threatened to leave her, he didn't mean the words. His anger spoke before his true self and the truth was he wanted her to be more careful around other men.
Things are different and it hurts.
He tries to hold her and feels rubber, the familiarity of her lips feel foreign against his. He wasn't ready for Funmi, she just happened, her family and his just happened and he was already comfortable and used to her.
He's gazing at a stranger, a completely different person from who he was introduced to. The fire in her eyes and the ice slated in her words made him want to run for the hills and never look back. But he didn't give up easily even though he was slowly growing to hate her for her infidelity.
"I just don't want to be with you anymore." She rushed before she could over think the words.
Here she was putting it out on the line for something that could be more. That's exactly it, Pierce is more.
Kemi froze. "How can you not just want to be with me anymore?" He hated the fragility in his voice as he spoke. "Last year we were making preparations and looking forward to getting married and moving back to Lagos— what's all this?"
Things changed.
She watches him heave with slow rising anger, sweat rolling down his bushy brow. He lets her go, her soft skin like fire in his embrace. "So all those times you said you loved me you were lying? Did you even love me at all? Or you were just looking for who would kiss you, waiting for the opportunity to run to someone else!"
"Kemi—"
"Stop this rubbish. Come back to your senses because this—" he motioned to everything around them. "Is a joke. A big joke."
"I thought I loved you, I did. But I just can't marry you, what we are is what my parents want." She was beginning to break, her tough exterior melting away at the havoc she caused.
I changed.
"So you were just making a fool out of me." He laughs, it was cold and void of humour. He hits his chest as pained laughter follows right after without a dam for the lake. "You were using me to catch trips."
She shakes her head as her eyes glazes over, her skin crawled with guilt.
This wasn't how it was supposed to go.
She jumps at the sounds of fist making contact with the wall a number of time. His laughter is the worse thing like nails on a chalkboard.
There was nothing to say because she was certain the sound of her voice would anger him even more.
"You won't find happiness in this life."
She didn't have the time to react, everything came and went so fast as her eardrums cringes at the sound of the door slam.
She wasn't sure if she imagined it or her own vision became too blurry to make out clear images— Kemi was crying over her.
March 3rd, 1971.
Getting out of the house would be good for her.
The air wasn't the same, she just couldn't deal with anyone's input on what's been going on.
She's come to terms that she broke someone that was too good for her.
She finds herself reaching out to Pierce, a worthy distraction from the world. Her heart beats wildly as she comes to a stop in Central Park, their spot just under the lone tree by the edge.
He raises his hand and smiles and she's entranced in everything him. His hair flips in accordance with the wind. A shadow grows over his jaw but that twinkle in his iris remains, he was happy to see her.
His sits on his legs on the grass and she joins him, hugging her knees. They look at nothing particular, the sides of their heads touching. Temple to temple and then cheek to cheek.
"I've missed you."
A little closer and they can feel each other on the celestial plane. The magnet draws them undeniably closer.
"I've missed you too." He murmurs. His lips find hers, it was almost second nature, as natural as breathing.
It feels like dancing at the edge of the flames when the world burn, time doesn't exist where they are and they savor the reality they've created.
She melts into him and let's him take control of their waltz. He pulls away, resting his head against hers. "Did you get the flowers?"
She nods. "Thank you."
"No need for that."
Maybe it was the way he kissed her or the way their fingertips brush against each other in a shy attempt to feel more skin that made her connect with him on a deeper level.
She loves who she is with him, she never knew so much about herself like she did when he inquired about her interests. She was in love with him— stupidly in love with him.
But it was so much in the little time that had past. "Kemi and I aren't together anymore."
The sound of children laughing overtakes his thoughts. He takes her hand and squeezes it. He's happy about it, he won't deny it but he understands she's also grieving in her own way.
How exactly did she feel about this Kemi. He didn't ask her about him either and so had formulated a picture of him in his mind, an ugly picture.
"Was it too soon to see you?" Her silence makes him look at her. She stares ahead, gaze glossy. "He doesn't deserve you."
He says it faster than he can understand. She stiffens in his hold, quickly putting some space between them.
"He deserves everything good in the world." She clenched her jaw, crossing her hand over her chest. "I just can't give him those good things."
He reaches out to her as she shrugs off his touch. He sighed, "And you? You don't deserve everything good in the world?"
"I—" her voice fell, her throat betraying her as she struggled for words.
"Do you love him?"
"I don't." She says too quickly that it scares her a little. "At least not in the way he wanted me to."
"Do you love me?"
The earth slows on its axis and her heart hammers, does she love him, does she even know what it really is to love.
Funmi panics, baffled at the question that slips passed his lips and she shakes her head softly. She simply can't answer that because the reality of things was she didn't know what love actually felt like.
Kemi was everything good and she didn't deserve him, not the other way around. Kemi has always been so sweet to her, he was just hurt.
Pierce purses his lips, his face contorted into a scowl. "Love isn't whatever Kemi thought he had for you. You were both comfortable."
She clicks her tongue, a habit of Pierce that rubbed off on her. "He said I'll never be happy."
"Do you believe that?" Her brows scrunch together almost like she was in pain.
"I hurt him. Of course I do."
"Bullshit."
"How do you know so much about relationships?" She frowns. "He was angry and I can bet he didn't mean what he said."
"Bren gave me hell, dragged me here and there and I still wished her well no matter how much I detested women after that day."
"You should've met Kemi." She huffs.
Funmi's eyes never leave the leaves on the branches of the tall tree that provided them shade, she watched the birds leave and come back to their nest, shaking the branches.
"I wish I didn't." He moves closer draping an arm over her shoulders. "Because I'd swipe you away faster and that wouldn't end well if he was here."
"Don't touch me." She shrugs off his hands. She didn't like when people disrespected Kemi and as much as her heart beats wildly for the man that is Pierce, she wouldn't let him have that.
"I don't get it. Are you still in love with him? Because I'm sure if he did care for you like I do he wouldn't have concocted vile things to say to you."
Funmi raises her hand, he hit below the belt and her anger had grown as he kept on talking. Pierce was quick to grab her palm, forcefully pulling it back to the ground.
He peeks through the space between the mop of hair shielding his eyes, he was lost for words. Not because she wanted to hit him, he just couldn't say something when she looked at him like that.
The anger on her soft features didn't stay for long as she looks him over. She calms herself, retracting her hand.
"I should get ahold of my jealousy. I'm sorry."
"You can be so annoying sometimes."
He exhales, a smile creeping up his face as her gaze softens. "I wish I could understand the respect you feel for your ex but I really can't, not when he put his happiness before your own. And whether you come to terms with it Funmi, your relationship was weighing you down." He sighs. "It's inhumane for someone to tell you how to feel." His hand caresses her face and she leans into him on instinct. "You're in control of how you feel, no one should tell you otherwise."
"Sometimes your jealousy can be the most irritating thing on earth and at the same time so sweet." She kisses his palm and he sucks in a breath.
"I just really lo—"
Her cheeks warm and she stills. She half expects the words to tumble from his lips, used in the most delicate way she could imagine.
He swallows, silence befalling both of them like a blanket. Pierce shook his head, he didn't know much about anything. He didn't know for sure if he truly was in love with Funmi either, he just felt— comfortable.
He's only said that to one person and it didn't end well.
"My uncle wants to meet you." She says thoughtfully.
He tenses, remembering the few encounters they had over the weeks. "I'm so excited!"
An airy laugh slips through before she can stop it. She swats his arm and her laughter dies down upon his grim features.
"This should be fun." The sarcasm drips from his tone and she sighs.
"Pierce."
"When?" He struggles to ask.
"Today, by eight. You don't have to come if you're not comfortable. I just thought I should let you know."
"You want me there?"
"I always want you here." She touches his cheek, "I'll see you tonight."
Pierce thought about it for a while, hoping things would work in his favor at least. He wasn't happy about it but he won't keep ignoring the elephant in the room.
He kiss her cheek and pulls her up. He lets his fingers linger on her skin just a little longer before watching her go.
The four white walls of his home suffocated him, his anxiety increases ten fold. He doesn't know what to do, what to wear, what to say.
The loud banging of empty pans fills the space of the quiet house. Only Edmund was clumsy like that in the kitchen and it made him wonder why he hadn't burned down the house yet.
"Why so down chum?" Edmund jokes, holding a jar of mayonnaise to his chest. "Is it Funmi's fiancé?"
"They broke up."
"And you're unhappy with that?" He asks slowly earning a grunt from Pierce. His hands dig into his eye sockets as his jaw ticks. "Didn't realize you liked polyamorous relationships."
"Very funny. That might as well be the most satisfying news I've heard today but I'm just so angry."
Pierce frowns and Edmund drops everything he's doing to give the fatherly pointed look. "So it's Funmi then?"
The audacity.
It can't ever be her.
"I don't think Funmi can ever cause me this kind of anxiety." Pierce sighs, drumming his fingers over the counter top repeatedly, a habit he believed always distracted him.
"You never know women. Is this about her uncle?" Edmund sets himself down on another stool.
"He hates me." Pierce says annoyed, his voice raises in emphasis of how he's feeling. "And I can swear—"
"You don't usually swear." Edmund cuts him off.
"You're just never around to hear it." He exhales. "That man is like a rock, I don't understand it. Because no matter what I do, I am never good enough for his precious niece."
"Understandable."
Pierce shakes his head and leans in closely. "He acts like a racist."
The statement the only logical reason that came to mind. The snide remarks about his looks or the way he talked, felt too deep and not mere shallow words.
"Let's back track." Edmund almost laughs but bit his lip to contain it. "You touched his niece inappropriately the first day you met her, ruined her engagement, disobeyed him time and time again, influenced Funmi to stop listening to him and you really think this hatred is about skin?" Edmund fails to hide his amusement and Pierce deflates.
"Just listen— I don't know okay?" He exhales. "I'm not crazy. It's a feeling— a gut feeling Edmund." He presses.
"Of course." Pierce glares at his apathetic brother. "What makes you think Sade is a racist then?"
Pierce calms himself, shutting his eyes tightly to drown out the loud comments made about his skin and not about protecting Funmi. He notices everything— every single thing, the comments that always remind him how different he is from them, the jabs, that fucking look.
"If you're going to take this as a joke then it doesn't matter." He says quickly. "He's just really protective of his niece."
"All guardians and parents are. Hell, I wouldn't want my daughter hanging around someone like you." He jabs at his little brother with a wicked glint in his eyes. "Or anyone for that matter. She'll live with me forever and ever."
"You'll be a terrible father Edmund."
"Blasphemy."
Pierce sighs, leaning on his open palm. Can we just run away and never look back, does family have to matter when the equation says it needs just us two. We're enough, aren't we?
"I mean, Funmi narrated how this teacher almost married her, twice her age and frankly from her description not her type or anyone's type. Her family is willing to bethroth her to a man old enough to be her father. Just like that." His eyebrows furrowed. "Then there was Kemi..."
He drums his knuckles against the wood of the counter top, looking everywhere else other than Edmund.
Edmund had only seen him like this during their father's funeral.
He licked his lips, "Glad to know it isn't the golden girl with your heart that's the problem, I'd say your taste in women has improved. You love Funmi and she loves you also." Pierce ignores the way his heart skipped at the notion but refuses to correct his brother. "What I don't understand is why you're whining. Certainly you would have to win the affection of her family, so work towards it."
Pierce merely scoffs earning a distasteful look from Edmund. "What do you think this is?"
"What is she to you?"
"We haven't labeled it yet."
"So your girlfriend who's not your girlfriend." She folds his toned arms in mockery. "Didn't think of you to be such a wimp."
"Okay." Pierce laughs to clear his angry retorts. "I didn't come to talk to you for this shit."
"Look, they're different people that have a certain way of life. They attach great importance to sentimental things and family and in order to understand that you have to first respect it."
"You're terrible at this."
"On some walk through fire for you kind of love. If you want to keep her, fight for her. That's the unspoken rule." He jabs his finger into the counter top for emphasis.
"So I should sit across the guy that's threatened to shoot me quite the number of times."
"Precisely." Edmund grins. "Plus you can't blame the man for acting out because he had someone who was willing to do right by her and be with her before you. Surely her uncle would've been used to him and not you."
Pierce knows he's right but would never admit it out loud. He nods and stands, making his way upstairs.
February 25, 7:39 pm.
He's sweating, unusual considering he oozes confidence and charisma on a daily bases. His nerves find him and he fights the urge to smoke.
His eyes take in the front gate that reaches just by his waist line, standing on the familiar white steps, he blows out a breath and rings the doorbell.
He's hoping it's Funmi answering the door and not her uncle.
That— That would be fucking awkward.
She quickly skips down the stairs, missing a few steps just to get to the door in time. She wasn't ready yet, only putting on a large white shirt that stopped at her thighs.
Wiping her sweaty palms against her shirt, she swings the door open. Pierce looks up from the labels of the canned foods, relieved Funmi answered the door instead.
He eyes her choice of clothing for the evening, slightly chuckling to himself. "You're adorable."
Funmi shifts her weight on her feet, heat traveling throughout her body at the way he looks at her. She just couldn't describe how she felt when his grey eyes darken after they roam her body in a sexual way.
Pierce steps into the living room, his eyes keeping watch for her uncle. Satisfied he was no where in sight he sets everything down on the small coffee table. He digs his hands into his pockets.
If they weren't touching her, might as well hide them away.
"Why do you look at me like that?" Funmi asks quietly.
"Like what?" Pierce rasps. His boots stump against the carpet, as he draws closer to his angel. "Hmm?" The tip of his nose grazes the curve of her jaw, electricity shooting through each layer of skin by his mere touch.
Her heart hammers against her rib cage as he lays soft kisses just below her ear. She buries her face in his shoulder, breathing in his cologne soaked shirt. His hands find their way to her waist, and turning her to goo.
She kisses his neck, her lips lingering for a minute longer. Not here, not now—
The whistling pulls them apart and Pierce straightens.
"My boy!" Sade laughs. Pierce cracks a smile, one that Funmi knows is fake. She carries the bags off the coffee table, passing by Pierce.
"Relax." She whispers.
Sade sends Funmi away to the kitchen to get them a drink, only to find that the fridge was void of alcohol. Funmi frowns on seeing the note attached to it.
'Get some wine from the store.'
She scoffs, strolling up the stairs to get dressed as they both take their seats. She wouldn't leave him alone with her uncle, she'd want to be there, hold his hand under the table and offer as much comfort as she could.
Her hands brush against his clammy ones.
"Funmi did you see what I left in the kitchen?" Sade smiles sweetly, a little too sweet for her liking.
"Pierce already brought wine, there's no need to go to the supermarket so late." She squeezes his hand. "It'll be too dangerous to go alone by this time anyways."
Sade bit his tongue, he'd deal with his niece later. "What are your plans with Funmi?"
Pierce pulls at his collar. In all honesty he didn't have a plan, he didn't even think things would move this fast, go so far to the point of interrogation.
Sade's brows perks, a smile forming on his wrinkled skin. "You don't have a plan, do you?"
Pierce swallowed as Sade chuckled humourlessly. "Anyways it's good for her. Next time she'll listen to simple instructions."
Sade pulls a lighter from his pocket, the cigar resting between between his chapped lips. The bottom burned and the smell of tobacco wafts through the room.
"Why are you with her then?" He blew a cloud of smoke.
"I—I love Funmi." He squeezes her hand under the table.
"You have taste." He looks at the pack of cigars and then motions a hand to him. "You know Funmi is like my daughter. And like any father, we would want the best for our daughters."
"I understand that much."
"Do you?" He challenges. "What I'm trying to say here is, you're not what's best for my Funmi."
"I disagree." His voice wavers but sounds firm at the same time. His eyes glances towards the front door before settling on the greying hair on her uncle's head and then settle on Funmi who sat beside him. "With me Funmi has free will and she is happy— undeniably happy that I know."
Sade brows shoot up, taking a long drag from the cigar between his lips. "She had a good future before you." He says. "Kemi was going to marry her, she was going to school—"
"And what's wrong with her school?"
"I'm not sending that ingrate to school anymore."
"Funmi sat straighter, her brown eyes feral and wild. "Are you serious uncle? Are you serious?"
"Leave him." He orders. "If you want to really go to school Funmi, leave him and salvage your relationship with Kemi."
"You won't pay her tuition because she's with me?" His free hand fists the fabric of his pants. "What kind of ultimatum is that?"
"The one that will put her life in order."
"I'm sick of this— If you won't do it, then I will."
Was that supposed to make her uncle like him more? Perhaps think he was good enough for her? Instead of some sort of satisfied or a burst of thunderous laughter, something miraculous happened, Sade smiled— he smiled genuinely at Pierce.
"Good luck."
It didn't matter what anyone else thought, Pierce knew it was serious— they were serious. Now everyone talks of a future he didn't really ponder on, it scared him.
He's mocking them as he stands to his full height, yellow teeth on full display as he watches their entwined hands from the view. "Be honest," Pierce begins. "Why don't you actually like me?"
"Look at you, who would like you?" He pushes his chair back as he grabs the bottle from the grocery bag. "There'll be no need for dinner, I want you gone by the time I get back. I can't be feeding a stray and an ingrate."
Funmi bites her lip to the point she tastes blood. Everything is absolute shit.
They step out of the house and Funmi bursts. "What kind of embarrassment was that?" She stomped angrily.
"I knew this was a bad idea." He murmurs staring in the distance.
She never asked for anything so why couldn't she have this one thing that made her happy? "Why would he do that to me?"
He pulled her into his chest and embraced her tightly. "Funmi?" He mumbles. "Everything's going to be fine."
She shook her head, "you shouldn't have come. I should've just not told you then none of this would've happened." She held onto him so tightly. "He's so insensitive and selfish and he— he just wants to run my life! It's not fair."
"It's not and I wasn't lying back there." He pulls her incredible close.
"What part?"
He looks at her— really looks at her and she stiffens. "I love you Funmi and we might actually not make it to the marriage thing before I put a baby in you."
Funmi's shoulders shake and she smacks Pierce on his shoulder. "You're an idiot." Her smile fades almost instantly, remembering her ultimatum. "This is serious Pierce. I love you too but—"
"Don't say it." He warns despite his erratic heart. "Just give me some time. I'll be here for you in every way, just give me some time." She nods, trusting his words as she holds him.
"I can't really ask you to do that."
"You're not."
"Abeg my uncle is just an ode." She kissed her teeth. He couldn't help but laugh, not exactly sure what it meant. Her anger makes him a bit satisfied he's not the only one unhappy about her uncle.
He hums, cradling her body against his deciding to taste that sweet phrase on his tongue again. "I love you."
"I love you."
He leans in and steals her away to the galaxies and beyond, drifting and swaying and dancing.
If her uncle felt he was in control, he wouldn't much longer.
Translations:
"Ode means fool.
Abeg means please."
A/N;
This chapter was so long and so worth it :) I'm happy with it.
Though I don't like Sade, there's some pressure on Pierce and his stubbornness won't let him back down. Ha! Men!
Thoughts? Predictions?