Chapter Fifteen
For some odd, apparent reason, Van goes to sleep in his room and wakes up in mine. Either in the fort or in my bed all curled up next to me. I mean almost whole two weeks has gone by since he got his new bed, maybe it's just not broken in yet? I haven't said anything, mainly because everything has been cool between us and I don't want to ruin it. It's not like it's going any farther than the occasional snuggle-buddy. Sometimes he just sleeps next to me and just lays there twisting a strand of my hair around his fingers. It's kind of cute actually.
Then there's the part of me that feels completely guilty because of Evan. He's opened up to me so much and I'm even supposed to meet his parents tomorrow night. I've been tempted to cancel so many times this week. I haven't even seen him since before Christmas Eve. They went to go see his aunt in Denver for Christmas. I'm kind of glad that he did because I have yet to get him a present.
I got everybody a present, expect the one person that's supposed to matter, my boyfriend. I even got Dex "manties" as a gag-gift, but I'm fairly certain that he'll actually wear them.
Van was the easiest to get presents for. Every year we tell each other not to get the other a present, but we always do. I buy him things that he hates and he does the same for me. It's sort of a tradition. That being said, I gave him Superman seat covers for his truck and a watch to match. Though, I still have one present that I haven't given to him yet, something that he would actually like. For some reason, I can't bring myself to give him the custom made Batman sheets.
I'm not quite sure that he would use them, considering he spends so much time sleeping in my room. I just figured that he could use a new bed set because I think that he's been using Darren's old Star Wars sheets. I'm not even sure that those sheets are sanitary, they've seen Darren's wet-dream days.
I think I should send back Van's real present. If I give him something that he actually likes, he might get the wrong idea by it. Besides, it's not like Van got me something that I would actually like. He hasn't given me my present yet because it's not going to be ready for a couple of days. I was shocked when I saw how sad he looked that my present wasn't ready when I gave him his presents.
I stroll down the hallway to Van's room and walk in, rather than going through the long process of knocking and waiting for him to answer.
I notice him listening to his iPod while reading something that looks like a magazine, but he quickly shoves it under his pillow when he spots me.
I narrow my eyes down at him, seeing a perfect opportunity to embarrass him. "Van, are you looking at porn?"
Van's cheeks blush. "Yep, you caught me."
I drop the bag of presents at the foot of his bed and plop down on his bed next to him. I fish my hand under his pillow and grasp the magazine.
"Not a very clever hiding spot," I laugh, looking at it, soon realizing that it's not a porn magazine. Not like I really thought it was, but I kind of hoped it was so that I could make fun of him for it.
It's a comic book. Superman is on the cover, looking as awesome as ever in his blue uniform. Then I notice the Batman logo in the back, with the Superman sign in the middle of it.
"This is a comic book, Van," I state, bluntly.
"Yeah, I found a bunch at a garage sale a while back, so I bought them. Some old idiot was selling his sons collection after he took off for college," Van explains nervously.
"Have you always read comic books?" I ask.
"No, it's kind of a new hobby. At first I just had them in a box, but since I'm doing the whole celibacy-no-girlfriend thing, I have a significant amount of time on my hands." Van pauses.
I look up at him. "That's ironic, I thought that it would be the other way around, you know? No sex, your hands are free, but here you are reading comic books. Aww, Van, you really are a closet-nerd," I laugh, rolling on to my back. I hold the book in the air and flip through the pages. "None of these pages are going to be stuck together, are they?" I tease, elbowing Van in the side.
"Because I totally get off to Batman and Superman," Van smirks sarcastically.
"Some nerds are into that sort of thing," I joke, flipping through more pages. "So what's it about?"
"Batman and Superman, The Worlds Finest, it's basically about them fighting together," he says simply.
I look at Van. "That's bull, in the cartoon they don't like each other," I point out. "Even Batman's bitch-boy, Robin calls Superman 'farm boy' when he isn't around."
Van snatches the comic book away from me. "Batman's bitch-boy?" He repeats. "Take that back."
"I'll take it back when he stops calling Superman 'farm boy,'" I state.
"But Clark Kent is a farm boy," Van says.
I roll my eyes, dropping this subject. "Okay, we'll just say that they're best friends for arguments sake."
Van takes a deep breath. "Did you come in here for something?" he questions.
"Well," I begin. "The other day when you were talking about how we should throw a party tomorrow, you know for New Years?"
"What about it?"
"I kind of have plans, but you should," I tell him, pretending to be intrigued by the comic book.
"It wouldn't be much of a party without you," he smiles.
"I have girlfriend duties to attend to," I admit.
I steal a peek at him, noticing his jaw setting into place, like he does when he's frustrated.
"Are you okay?" I check.
Van shrugs. "Honestly? I've been better, Abbs."
I sit up next to him, criss-cross-apple-sauce. "Do you want to talk."
"There's nothing to talk—"
A knock at Van's door interrupts our conversation. Seconds later it opens and my mom pops her head in.
"We're heading to the airport," my mom announces. "You two please behave. I put a list of numbers on the fridge."
"Along with a list of things that are not allowed," Rich cuts in.
"Orgies wouldn't happen to be on that list, would it?" I question. "Because that might interfere with our New Year's resolution," I finish, looking over at Van to see him fighting a laugh.
My mom and Rich don't pick up on the humor, so she slams the door. Goodbye, love you too, I guess?
As soon as we hear the front door close, letting us know that they're gone, we burst into laughter.
"You said that...with...the straightest face...ever," Van says in between laughs.
"I was only trying to be convincing," I laugh along with him.
It takes about ten minutes for us to cool down. Not like it was all that funny, but when Van and I start laughing, it's hard to stop.
"So," Van pauses. "I don't suppose that an orgy would be up for discussion?"
I hit him on the shoulder, giggling. "That's not funny!"
Van catches my wrists and practically pulls me into his lap, chuckling. "If you're really that shy, it could just me you and me," he suggests, grinning.
I roll my eyes, laughing. I feel Van's finger twine with mine. "You show no shame, Van," I say, watching as his face falls.
"I only have one thing to be ashamed of," he says quietly, moving his thumb in circles on the top of my hand.
"And what's that?" I ask, ignoring the burning sensation beneath my skin.
"Myself," Van whispers, getting serious, making my forehead scrunch up in confusion. "For not jumping at the opportunity to be with you when I had the chance," he explains.
I shift so that I'm facing him, face to face. "Don't do this, Van."
"No, Abby, I have to say this." Van takes a deep breath. "If you haven't caught on by now, I'm really good at saying things when it's too late," he chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.
"Van—"
"Abby, I know that things are working out for you and Evan, but I think that I love—"
"VANCE!" I yell, getting off his bed. I can't hear this right now. After Van and I went through everything to remain friends, he wants to do this? Now? I can't deal with this! I'm supposed to meet my boyfriends parents tomorrow night. I really can't handle all of the bullshit right now.
"What?" Van asks innocently.
I shake my head, blinking away tears. "Do you realize that when I'm hurting, its always because of something that happens to us? Or something that one of us says? We were doing really good. Did you have to start this?" I fold my arms over my chest.
"Technically, you started this, I'm just trying to finish it," Van corrects. "If you hadn't said anything a while back, I wouldn't be having these... thoughts."
"Oh my gosh!" I screech. "I can't do this right now. Your timing is horrible, Vance, you know that, right?"
"I told you that—"
I hold up my hand, halting him. "Drop it, K? I just need to think," I tell him, leaving his room.
I storm into my bedroom and slam the door shut, locking it, just in case he tries to pull one of his surprise sleepovers in the middle of the night. He will be in for a surprise when he realizes that he has to cuddle with himself tonight.
Maybe I shouldn't have been such a bitch with Van earlier tonight. He only partially deserved it. How long have I been wanting him to feel like I did...do? Then when he finally does, I completely blow him off. I didn't even listen to him. I just know that if I did listen to him, he would've been able to talk me into giving him anything. Including my heart.
I turn off the lamp on my nightstand, engulfing myself in darkness. Burying my face into my pillow, I scream as loud as I possibly can. I probably look ridiculous right now, but Van is constantly stressing me out. If I don't do this, I might turn to drinking, or something. Actually drinking sounds like a great idea at the moment.
Evan... oh, what am I going to do about him? I'd be lying if I said that I didn't care about him at all. Though, I feel like what Evan and I have is... forced, it doesn't feel natural. I know that you have to work at relationships, but I spend more time convincing myself that I'm not being a total idiot; when in reality, I am.
Even if Evan and I broke up, I couldn't go running to Van, could I? That would be wrong, wouldn't it? Who even knows if Van and I would work out? We fight constantly, have nothing in common, but on good days we have an amazing time together. Going from friends to more is easy, anybody can do that; it's snapping back to being friends if things don't work out that worries me most.
My thoughts stop when I hear somebody shuffling around on the other side of my door. It has to be Van because he's the only other person in the house. What in the hell is he doing? When the doorknob shakes a little, I sit up and stare at it, knowing that Van can't get in because I locked the door. It's a good thing that both keys that unlock it are in my top dresser drawer.
HA! Take that, the door is locked because of you!
I roll over on my side, letting my back face the door. At least I can fall asleep knowing that Van won't be in here tonight. The only problem now is that I'm not completely sure that I want to.
I wake up all hot and sweaty, with no reason for it. The thermostat must be broken. I throw the covers off of me and walk over to my door to go turn the AC on. I twist the knob and pull, but the door doesn't budge. I quickly remember that I locked it last night because of Van. Was that only last night? I feel like I time traveled a week from earlier. I don't even remember falling asleep.
Right when I open the door, I trip over something and fall onto somebody. I let out a groan in pain and see Van now waking up because of my almost-death.
"What the hell are you doing?" I question, sleepily.
Van ignores me and crashes his head back on his pillow lying on the floor and pulls his comforter around him.
I get off the floor and walk across the hall. As soon as I read the temperature on the thermostat, it takes all of my willpower to not kill Van. He had to have turned the heat up to eighty. I drop the temperature to sixty. I might regret that in the morning when I'm freezing, but I'm so hot right now.
I step around Van and back into my room, leaning against the doorframe. "Nice move, sweating me out of my room, very original," I say, waiting for a response. "What? Nothing to say?" I look down at him, pretending to be asleep. "Get up," I sigh.
"Why?" Van's raspy voice asks.
"Do you want to sleep outside my door for the rest of the night?"
Suddenly his attention is mine and he's on his feet within seconds. My eyes gaze over his bare chest. He adjusts his sweat pants and follows behind me.
"Ab—"
"It's one in the morning, stop talking, Vance," I demand, lying back in bed. Moments later, I feel the bed shift underneath me, letting me know that Van's next to me. I roll onto my side and stare at him, staring at the ceiling. "Can I ask you something?"
"Hmm?"
"Is there any particular reason why you decided to camp outside my bedroom?"
"I knew you'd get hot and want me," he teases.
I roll over again, positioning my backside to him. "Great, that's just great, make a joke. That's practically all I am to you; a joke." I sit up a little, fake-fluffing my pillow, but just using it as an excuse to punch something. Better the pillow than Van's face. I would punch him, but then I'd feel bad and have to take care of him.
"Abby, I'm sorry," Van whispers. His arms slip around me, pulling me against him. "You're anything, but a joke, especially to me," he murmurs into my ear. "Are you still hot?"
I nod. "No thanks to you. I can't sleep like this," I state, rolling out of his embrace and off my bed. In my closet, I pull off my t-shirt, peel off my bra and replace both with a thin tank top. It's the closest thing that I can get to naked without actually getting naked.
I return to bed and let Van place his arms where they were before.
"Abbs?"
"Mmm?"
"I apologize in advance for the morning," Van whispers.
"Mkay..." I mumble confused, drifting back into a deep slumber.
I wake up to a pinching chill in my toes. I pull them under the covers and bury my face into a cologne scented, bare skin feeling pillow. I press myself closer to the full pillow and feel a hard bulge pushing against my thigh.
Clips of last night play in my mind, reminding me that Van is my warm body-pillow. I prop myself up on my elbow and rub the sleep out of my eyes. I slowly pull Van's arms off of me and slither out of bed and sit on the edge. The cold air causes my teeth to chatter and goose bumps rise on my arms as I try to rub them warm.
"Shit, why is it so cold?" Van's husky morning voice asks. I feel him sitting up on the bed.
"I dropped it to sixty after you tried to make me burn in hell," I reply, standing up from the bed before Van gets the chance to pull me back under the covers.
"Damn, Abby, are you crazy?" he shivers, getting out of bed.
My eyes follow the trail of muscles down his stomach. Van's morning special isn't as noticeable as it felt on my leg moments ago.
"Do you want a picture to get off to later?" Van teases, snapping me back to life.
"If I were you, I wouldn't be so quick to talk, Woody," I smirk.
Van holds up his hands in defeat. "Whatever you say, Nips," he responds, grinning.
I cross my arms over my chest once I catch on to what he means. I start to say something, but my crappy phone starts ringing on my nightstand. I snatch it up and answer without looking at the caller ID.
"What?"
"Abby?" a familiar voice speaks. It's Evan.
"Oh, hey, sorry. I just woke up," I say, putting on my best calm-voice.
Evan chuckles into the speaker. "You just woke up? It's one in the afternoon," he informs me.
I look at the digital clock on my dresser and sure enough it reads, 1:15 PM. "I was tired," I reply innocently.
"Well, I was just calling to let you know that I should be back around six, so I'll come pick you up around seven thirty," Evan says.
Part of me is listening to what he's saying, but the other half is staring at Van as he snoops through my closet. "Okay— wait, actually would it be okay if I followed you in my car. My friend is having a New Years party too, so I need to be prepared to skip out early if Lia needs a ride home," I explain.
"Yeah, but I was kind of hoping that you might stay at my place tonight, since I haven't seen you in like, a week," he says.
Before I can respond, Van throws something at me. "You might want to put a shirt on, Abby," Van says, opening my bedroom door and slamming it on his way out.
"Is that Vance? What did he just say?" Evan demands. "Why don't you have a shirt on?"
"I do have a shirt on, he's just being an ass!" I say, emphasizing the word ass so that Van can here me through the paper thin walls.
"Did you guys sleep—"
"No," I cut him off before he can finish his question. "He slept in the fort," I lie.
"Why?"
I take a deep breath. "Evan, can we talk about this later?"
Evan sighs on the other side of the phone, sounding annoyed. "Sure, whatever."
I can almost feel the heartbreak in his voice.