It has been a year, three months and four days since Cecelia was gone and I still cannot believe it. I still imagine that one day I will see her rolling her eyes when I enter a room. Sometimes when I wake up, I think that when I go downstairs for breakfast, I will find father reading the papers and mother and Cecelia gossiping.
But that never happens. Now, when I go downstairs to have breakfast, I find Granny, Aunt Mildred, Bernard and Daphne. When I go to Mrs. Philips, I find her, baby Jane and very few times, I could also find Dr Philips.
I succeeded in avoiding Edward for a year three months and four days except in the annual memory of Cecelia's death. I can still remember it as if it was yesterday.
I was in the graveyard paying my tribute to Cecelia then, to my parents and was leaving when a carriage stopped next to me.
"Amelia," he called breathlessly.
"Edward," I said with the smallest smile, "how do you do?"
"C... Could you join me?" He said pointing at his carriage.
I shook my head, "I do not think that is a good idea"
He took a step forward, "Please, I need to talk to you"
I did not want to go. I will never be at ease with him around and I do not like the way that he is talking. Feels as if we were two lovers not siblings in law.
I looked at him with a strong will to say no but once I landed my eyes on his, yes was all that came out of my mouth.
I sat next to him and the carriage started moving.
"It has been a while," he said smiling, "How have you been? What is new in your life?"
"Bernard and Daphne are engaged," I said with a warm feeling in my heart. I am very happy that they are finally together.
"I know," he said smiling, "when will the wedding be?"
"After three or four months," I said, "we were waiting for the annual memorial to pass. Now, that it did, nothing can stop them but arrangements"
"I went to congratulate him when Aunt Meg told me," then he held my hand so I had to lift my eyes to his, "but I did not see you, then"
My heartbeats were increasing, I felt hot and I was unable to open my mouth.
"How were you able to avoid me for a whole year, Amelia? Do you know how much I missed you? Needed you? But every time I go home early or pass by your house, you are not there," he whispered looking into my eyes and sitting very close to me that our faces were only inches apart.
"Edward, please let go of my hand and stop talking," I pleaded while looking away.
"Look at me, Amelia," he said but of course I did not, "Look. At. Me"
I did and regretted it at once. His eyes, his honey eyes are looking at me, into me with so much intense.
Unknowingly, I tapped the roof of the carriage and it halted to a stop. I ran away from the carriage. I could not breathe then; I could not do anything but run away. Running away from my heart, my thoughts, my problems, my past and especially, my present.
That same desperate runaway girl is wearing a pretty pink dress for her brother's wedding.
I looked at the mirror and froze. I looked so different. Thinner but somehow better, more beautiful and definitely more elegant. Mother would have been proud of me.
A knock on the door interrupted me from my thoughts.
"Enter!"
Meg opened the door with her classy blue dress and froze.
"You look amazing"
I smiled, "says the queen to her servant"
A few tears came to her eyes, "come here"
And we embraced.
"We should really be going," I told Meg, "you do not want the bride to wait for her bridesmaid"
Daphne, Aunt Mildred and Granny went to Meg's house. Something about seeing the bride before the marriage will ruin it or something.
"Why are you here, by the way?" I asked as we got out of the room.
"Aren't you welcoming?" Meg said with a smile.
I elbowed her jokingly, "You know what I meant"
She intertwined our arms and said, "I wanted to go with you and the gentlemen wanted to meet the groom"
I immediately stopped walking, "Gentlemen!"
"He is downstairs with Alexandre and Bernard"
"Meg, how could you?" I said moving away.
"For God's sake, there is a wedding. You really think that you can avoid him in a wedding," she said angrily.
"Listen to me, Amelia," she continued, "I have not opened my mouth at all although I think that what is happening is ridiculous. But now, I am telling you that you should grow up and face your problems"
Meg does not know how much this is hurting me, no one does. I should answer her, tell her exactly how much it hurts me, but I cannot. In the end, he is her nephew and I am her best friend and what is going on Edward's mind is what Meg wishes for.
I took a deep breath, "shall we?"
She gave me her arm again and we went downstairs to be met with whistles.
"My beautiful girl," Dr Philips said hugging me.
I let out a small laugh, "As handsome as always, doctor"
"You look magnificent," he said while cupping my face.
"I see that you have learnt how to complement from your wife, doctor," I said winking at him.
"And I see that you are as modest as always, Amy," he said.
I looked at Bernard to find him looking at me with wide eyes and an open mouth.
"Who is the groom?" I teased while going to him.
He still looked at me with disbelief, "if you look like that, how will Daphne look?"
I raised an eyebrow, "I will try to take that as a compliment"
"Do whatever you want, I still cannot breathe at the thought," he said with an open mouth.
I gave him a very tight hug, "everything will be perfect, my dear groom"
Time to face the explosion.
I went to Edward.
Oh God, help me!
I extended my hand for him to shake. That is the only friendly thing that I could think of at the moment, "Hello, Edward"
He kept staring at me, I think I was melting under his stare but I kept looking at him.
He took my hand and kissed it. Then, he intertwined our arms together as if it was the most normal thing to do.
"Shall we go?" Meg said with a smile. She must be really enjoying this.
Of course, Meg, Dr Philips and Bernard had to be in a carriage and Edward and I were stuck in a carriage together. I tried to run away from him by looking through the window.
"You look beautiful," he said after a while.
I looked at him and smiled, "thank you, you look very handsome too"
He smiled, "You have a lot of observing to do tonight"
My eyes widened and I was just speechless. He actually remembers.
I blinked fast, "I... I do not think that I still have it"
"Oh, please," He said with a wide smile, "you are the queen of observing"
I blushed, "well, thank you, Mr. Denton"
He raised an eyebrow, "why did you call me Mr. Denton?"
I swallowed, "Ah... Ah... Out of habit, I think"
"But you have not called me that for a long while," he then, looked at the ceiling as if deep in thought, "the last time; you have called me Mr. Denton was when we were joking after our first conversation after you came back from Aunt Meg's cottage"
I raised an eyebrow, "how can you still remember something like that?"
He put his hand on mine, "I can never forget anything that involves you"
I removed my hand, "Edward, please!"
He opened his mouth a few times then, finally said, "I am sorry, I did not mean to disturb you"
I nodded, "It is fine"
"So, do you forgive me?"
I looked at him from the corner of my eyes to find him looking at me like a child who just broke a vase and is worried that his mother will not forgive him. I let out a small laugh.
He raised an eyebrow, "What are you laughing at?"
"At your childish look"
He smirked, "Well, I do not want to lose you"
I smiled, "I... I do not want to lose you, either, Edward"
"So, do you forgive me?"
I nodded.
Just then, as we were talking, something sparked. What are you doing to me again, Edward? What do you want from me?
Author's Note: Things are messy here, don't you think? Don't forget to vote, comment and tell me what you think