Aunt Vikki had to visit some friends and left early. It was a spring day with a light drizzle in the morning. Piper would have given me a ride if she hadn't promised to pick her friends up. And the way she offered it, "I can still give you a ride, you know," was like she was afraid I would say 'Yes', so I said 'No'. I had already worked out the bus system in this small rich neighborhood and would like to try my luck.
On the bus, I managed to act normal and took a seat with the rest of the strangers. After the bus let us out near the school, I walked the rest of the way. My hair was half damped and plastered on my forehead. I was walking through the campus while other students sheltered themselves under their umbrellas, and I realized I should've brought one too.
Now I was freezing.
Then a growling black car whizzed passed me. I sort of gasped when it almost splashed the water on my feet. I jumped away just in time. It was that Batman car. Piper had told me it was the latest Lamborghini or something. Its backlight glowed bright red as the driver stopped to notice me on the sidewalk. But then the car zoomed off again. I frowned and bit my lips at the rudeness.
Along the hallway, a wall of bulletin board was overflowed with posters and announcements. I wondered if there were job ads there, but I couldn't linger around to look. The first bell already buzzed. Students who hovered around their lockers began to move to their classes.
"Nina!" a male voice called down the hall. I had to make sure it wasn't someone else with the same name as me, but the voice kept calling until I turned. The guy came towards me with a blinding all-American toothpaste commercial smile.
"Hey!" he breathed. "I finally found you again."
I smiled back, trying to put the name to that face. I didn't mean to come off as a stuck-up snob, but I was just terrible at remembering faces and names at the same time. Well, except a certain kind that didn't seem to go away even if I tried to forget.
"Yeah?" I swept my wet hair to one side, a gesture that seemed to freeze the dude a little.
"Where have you been?" he said cheerfully.
"Er—around?" I said, but the guy chuckled back. That was when I remembered his name: Jack Conner. I had practically ditched him on the first day of school here.
"I was trying to catch you after class but you seemed to disappear like a smoke," Jack said.
"Oh," I said. "Why?"
"I just found out that one of my teammates has a cousin from Russia," he told me excitedly as if he had just discovered the law of gravity. "Isn't it a coincidence?"
I didn't think so, but I nodded.
"Anyway, we have a party this weekend, I was wondering..."
Oh gosh — not that good old cliché teenage gathering again. All of a sudden, I felt so ancient. When was the last time I felt the perk of going to one of those parties? I realized I had grown too fast in the past ten months. Ever since Dominika poked her head through my front door, suddenly this fun stuff didn't excite me anymore.
"I'm sorry but I have a class to go. Can we talk about it later?" I said, making a turn to leave. Jack looked a bit hurt, and I felt a little sorry but not sorry at the same time.
"Oh, okay," he said. "I guess I'll see you around then."
In Language Arts, Mrs. Smith's voice got everyone's attention. She began to talk about an integral concept of Alchemy in literature.
"Alchemy is the secret key to manifesting the Philosopher's Stone, Elixir of Life and immortality in myths. Alchemy is still being used in fictions," she was saying and pointing to the slide show. "This idea is represented in the image of Hermaphroditus— the demigod who holds the assets of both genders."
My ears perked up almost over the top of my head at that. I didn't know why it fascinated me.
"Is that the same name they used in biology for an intersex organism?" someone in the front row asked. At least no one was making any dirty jokes in Mrs. Smith's class.
"Yes," the teacher said. "The name came from a Greek myth. Hermaphroditus was the son of Aphrodite and Hermes. He was a remarkably handsome boy, nursed by Naiads. At the age of fifteen, he grew bored with his surroundings and traveled about the city. It was in the woods of Caria, that he encountered the nymph, Salmacis, in her spring."
My face flushed at the thought of my embarrassing dream in the spring. By now everyone was listening with great interest. No one interrupted or made a snickering noise of amusement.
The teacher paused. We were waiting for her to continue but she just smiled and said, "If you want to know the rest of the story, you better do your own research."
A few of us let out a groan. I tried to swallow back mine.
Mrs. Smith simply moved on to talk about 'Shakespeare's women'. We discussed Portia, Desdemona, Lady Macbeth, all of whom I had no idea about except Juliet. I didn't grow up reading English classics like the kids here. At my old school, we read Asimov, Chekhov, Tolstoy, and Nabokov. Yet my mind was still intrigued by the brand new tale of Hermaphroditus.
A few seconds later, the door swung open. And in came a striking figure, tall and slender like one of those supermodels you envy on the media. Everyone sort of gawked at her. With a raven black shirt, black leather jacket, and messy sandy blonde lock, she walked in like a ghost— just drifting in as if it didn't matter if she was in the wrong class. I kind of suspected that she was.
She mumbled something to Mrs. Smith and handed her a pink slip then drifted to a seat on the other side. The acid inside my stomach churned, and I was afraid I might let out an unladylike burp in the class.
Oh my god, of all the classes in the building and she chose to be in this one?
"Miss. Knight," Mrs. Smith said after a while. "Can I partner you with Nina?"
I almost fainted in my chair.
Mrs. Smith explained later that I was the odd one out in the room since everyone had an editing partner.
"Would you mind, Nina?" she asked.
Yes, actually I would, though I didn't say that to her. Allecra didn't respond beyond a sketchy shrug. Then she turned to me. Her crystalline eyes seemed to stir with inner light as they pierced into mine. I felt the heat rose to my cheeks. An alarm began to clang inside my body the way a bronze bell is struck. I went hot all over. I had to turn away from that brilliant stare.
At that moment, I wished I could disappear through the tiny crack of the window.
When the class ended, Allecra saved me the troubles of facing her and just vanished. A huge sigh of relief escaped my lungs. I felt like I had been sitting in an aquarium tank with my thoughts swimming around like fish.
I didn't know if I could survive the tension of having Allecra as my partner.
At lunch break, I was finally desperate enough to go the library. It was huge and well-kept. The windows allowed columns of sunbeam to shine over the bookshelves and reading tables. Small corridors wrapped around the second floor of the library. There were comfy chair and lamps with bright yellow glow dotting every corner.
You would think I would go browsing through piles of ancient books like a nerd in the movie, but I found a computer section and consulted Google instead. I typed the first word I remembered. After a few clicks later, the Hermaphroditus story appeared on the screen. There were a few nude images of Greek characters.
'There dwelt a Nymph, not up for hunting or archery:
Unfit for footraces. She the only Naiad not in Diana's band.
Often her sisters would say: "Pick up a javelin, or
bristling quiver, and interrupt your leisure for the chase!"
But she would not pick up a javelin or arrows,
nor trade leisure for the chase.
Instead, she would bathe her beautiful limbs and tend to her hair,
With her waters as a mirror.'
I continued to read with a keen interest. Salmacis then saw a brilliant lad like a god walking towards the water. Of course, his godly presence motivated her to do something other than lying about like a potato. The nymph watched him undressing and jumping into the water. Unable to contain her desire, the nymph followed him. She wrapped herself around the boy, forcibly kissing him and touching him. While Hermaphroditus struggled, she called out to the gods and asked that there would never be a day they would ever be apart. Her wish was granted and so their bodies blended into one, becoming a creature of both sexes.
And that was how it started with the first rapist nymph in the Greek mythology.
That was it. I was feeling a little jittery with no reason. My heart thumped in my chest. Why am I here researching this ridiculous myth? I thought. Then I left the computer and walked out of the library. Maybe I should've nicely accepted Jack Conner's party invitation and just be normal like everyone else.
~*~
Nothing went right the next morning.
No matter how many times I reapplied my eyeliners, those stubborn wings didn't curve the way I wanted.
I tried to put a little of an Egyptian eye. But I looked as if I loved cats too much I wanted everyone to know that through my makeup.
I couldn't decide whether to straighten my hair or curl it, or even to wear maroon lipstick or pink lip-gloss. I didn't know why I even bothered all of a sudden. But the truth behind it was like a cat hiding its claws, waiting to scratch my flesh. I had read somewhere that evolution had instilled in females the instinct to find a mate. She would have to attract the one who would fight for her and breed with her.
I never thought about it until I, Antonina Volkova (now Nina Black), who pride myself as a strong independent girl, was now trying to attract a potential mate. Well, except in my case, it was another girl. Not that I was desperate for Allecra Knight to notice me. Maybe a little bit. But somehow, for the first time in a long time, I didn't just want to show up in class but also make an entrance.
When I got downstairs for breakfast, there was a series of interesting reactions. Piper noticed me and raised an eyebrow. Jay noticed me and pursed his lips. Aunt Vikki, who was drinking her tea while reading the Time magazine, noticed me and smiled.
Maybe, I overdid my dress code a little. My aunt gave me a knowing look when I took a seat opposite her.
"Dobreya utra, krasivitsa," Aunt Vikki greeted me good-morning in Russian, but I blushed when she used the word 'beautiful'.
"Dobreya utra," I replied.
Jay, as usual, looked at me like I was a stone stuck in his shoes. He scowled and stabbed his bacon noisily until Aunt Vikki whacked him with her folded Time.
"Bad mal'chik," she said. "What is wrong with you?"
"Mom! What was that for?" Jay cried, rubbing his shoulder with an annoyed look. "And why did you call me a chick?!"
It made me laugh. Then Jay scowled at me again before going back to his meal. It was so nice of my aunt to try and amuse me. She reminded me of my dad. Once upon a time, when I was still the apple of his eyes, he would tell jokes to make me laugh. But that apple had long rotten and was now replaced by a new seed.
Piper drove me to school as usual.
I thought it was because she didn't want Aunt Vikki to question her about my taking a bus. She had to drop me off in a hurry and swirled around to her friends' house.
In the hallway, I navigated through the honor-roll students. They were in honor of everything and planned to go to Harvard after graduation.
After them came the artsy kids. They were creative in art, music, and drama while I was just there—like talentless.
Then there were the jocks and the cheerleaders. Although I wasn't exactly a lazy bum, my enthusiasm would drop dramatically if I had to do anything physical. So I had no high hope of being a part of the sisterhood.
And after that there was the kind of kids who did community service. They preached the words of god with the capital G. I appreciated their hard work, but I just knew I could never get passed the Pearly Gate anyway.
But what made up the majority were the regular ones. They looked and dressed and thought like everyone else. Their world was two-dimensional. These background kids were best if a movie director wanted to cast them in a zombie movie or in a stampede scene. They didn't stand out nor had any passion. I would rather hug a cactus than being near those kids. That was why I had lost interests in hanging out in a crowd. Or maybe I was designed to be alone.
I was fortunate that I discovered writing. Writing was the only thing that treated me so kindly in this world. People relish in things that take the pain away.
Before it was time for my first class, I went to my locker and took the books out. But when I turned around again, Jack was right there, grinning his thirty-two teeth at me.
"Privet!" he said, trying to impress me with the language.
"Hi, Jack," I said, shifting my bag over my shoulder. "What are you doing here?"
"I wanna know your answer about the party," he said, looking hopeful. "Will you join?"
"I don't know, Jack, I don't know anyone," I said and started to walk.
"But you know me!" he said.
Yeah, barely.
"Come on, Nina," he pleaded. "I will introduce you to new friends. They are going to like you heaps."
I was going to say 'no' when I saw her. She was standing with her back against the locker. She was laughing at something her brother said. It was a rare sight to see her smile, let alone laugh. For some reason, it made me happy.
I watched her messy blonde lock brushed over her shoulders. Her peaked angelic face was glowing. She looked adorable when she was like that. Allecra Knight wasn't as intimidating as she pretended to be. Beneath her poise and brashness was another face full of mirth. Everything about her seemed like a faceted diamond caught in the light. I wondered why she had to live inside a hard coconut shell. The thought of her cramming inside a coconut cracked me up. Jack looked at me in confusion.
"What's so funny?" he said.
"Oh, nothing," I said. "Look, Jack, I will think about the party but I can't make any promise since I don't have a ride and I live with my aunt. So if I don't go, just know that it's not you. Are we clear?"
Jack wanted to say something more but the bell rang. I turned back to look at the spot where Allecra stood again, but they were gone.
I clumsily waved goodbye to Jack and took off without a second glance.
Mrs. Smith was already in the class when I entered and so was the blonde mystery. Allecra sat oh-so-majestically on her throne at my table while looking out the window.
How dare she took my window side!
I forgot about making an entrance and stormed towards the ignorant girl.
Then I remembered how I had also taken her seat the first time we met. But that was an honest mistake. Was she doing it on purpose?
Mrs. Smith started doing a roll call, and I had to forget about being snarky and sat down.
Her lean body turned half way from me, so I couldn't see her face. But I could have sworn she was smiling.
The teacher began to talk about today's activities. We were going to write a poem about romance. Almost everyone in class cringed.
When I took out my notebook to write, she glanced at it for a brief moment and turned away as if it bothered her. I frowned and ignored her as much as my mind could manage.
I didn't know if Allecra listened to what was being said, but soon she began her writing too.
As we were scribbling away, I glanced at her hands. The fingers of her left hand were tapping in contemplation. Allecra had the most delicate hands I'd ever seen. The fingers were like sea-smoothed shells and long like orange thorns. I just wanted to hold them and kiss each fingertip. Just looking at her hands was doing the same wild things to the secret places of my body. And the remembrance of the dream did not help at all.
Stay focused, Nina!
I tried to concentrate on my work again. Poetry wasn't my forte, but I could come up with two rhyming lines that were packed with imagery of romance or sadness. Some lines didn't have to make any sense and then a final one.
'When the seagulls fly over the sea,
They carry a message from me,
It says that we will never be apart,
Even while you are away,
And the seagulls weep for the day,
We come back to each other's heart.'
Okay, that was lame.
But poetry is always beautiful in itself even my poem had a delusion of faithful love that made me want to gag.
Mrs. Smith then said we had to read to our partners and let them comment. My heart dropped to my stomach. What did she just say?
I felt Allecra turning to me at last. My palms were sweaty as I gripped my notebook.
"You first," she said coolly, her bright eyes half shut. My face obviously flushed as I cleared my throat. In the dullest tone, I read the poem in one breath and finished it.
Allecra was silent for a minute and then said, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"A lover is being far away," I explained.
"Then why are the gulls crying?" Allecra asked.
"It's a figure of speech," I said in defense. "You can't state the meaning too plainly."
Allecra arched her perfect blonde brow at me.
"I don't get it," she said with a confused look. "Why don't you say what you mean?"
"It's poetry," I told her. "People use it to express their hidden feelings."
"Who invented this kind of writing? It's such a waste of time."
"What? No, it's not!" I protested.
"I bet there's not a single bird out there boohooing about some lovers being away."
"Forget about the seagulls then," I said. "Tell me about the rest."
"I forget."
I gritted my teeth to keep from screaming at her. But I reread the whole poem anyway.
"I thought you were going to forget about the seagulls."
"No, you forget about the seagulls," I said. "Now tell me how it is with the rest."
She shrugged and said, "It doesn't make sense."
I looked at her in frustration and exasperation. I didn't know which emotion was the strongest. Allecra just sat there as if she hadn't done anything to ruin my state of mind.
Before I could ask her to show me her poem, the bell rang. The blonde gathered her stuff and got up then left.
I just wanted to scream.