"If it isn't my beautiful, sexy, loving—" Hisoka was sitting on a cliff with most of the troupe, hamming it up, until he heard his son. "Is he still crying?"
He turned around and faced away from the troupe. He remembered when his kids were babies and didn't cause you so much distress.
"Different thing. Anyway, I've called because Zenko seems to think we won't agree." You talked the the phone with the speaker phone on.
You knew Hisoka would agree. He and you always had each other's backs.
"Alright, What's the issue, my loving family?~" he loved it that you had called him for this. Loved it.
"Well, everyone was having a grand time drawing, when I asked the boys to take the marker from Chouko and he decided it would be okay to color on her face. I told him to color only on the paper and I took his marker."
"She took the green marker Daddy and I needed it for you!" Zenko screamed at the phone
"What next, dearest?~" He knew there was more to the story, and to be completely honest, he felt like he was listening to juicy gossip.
"He then chose to talk back to me and when I told him not to and turned to look at him he was coloring on the wall."
"Zenko. You're too old for that, baby~" Hisoka cooed into the phone as the troupe listened in on his parenting conversation. They were already impressed and he hadn't even broken out the big guns yet. His son whined on the other side of the phone.
"After that, of course, I told him that he was done coloring and to clean up his markers and his drawing, which was a picture of you killing Kastro by the way."
"Oh..." He grimaced, but otherwise didn't respond.
"Mhm. And when he tried to bite and kick me, I gave him until the count of three." You looked over at your son, who had stopped crying and was pouting into his pillow as he listened to his father.
"And you said time-out!! Stop lying....." Zenko sniffled
"A time-out as well, my love?"
"Four minutes, one for each year. As we agreed." You reassured him. "Talking back, coloring on his sister and the wall, hurting me and being awful."
"SHE KEEPS CALLING ME AWFUL DADDY MAKE HER STOP!" Zenko screeched.
"My love, don't call him names, you're an adult and he's a child.~" Hisoka lightly scolded you.
You grumbled but saw the point. You knew however, that it was much harder to stop yourself in the middle of a temper tantrum.
"Then, I told him that he was done and threw away his markers and his drawing. Carried him to bed, with great bodily harm to me, and put him on his bed. After a barrage of insults, he finally told me that he wished you would kill me. And that's how we arrived where we are now. Now, at the request of your son, are you going to kill me?"
Hisoka almost choked on his spit.
"Absolutely unacceptable, Zenko Morow and you're going to listen to your mother and go to bed. No more nonsense. Good night, Zenko, I will talk to you when you're behaving better."
And with that, you took him off of speaker phone and held it up to your ear.