13
E r i k a
I got up the next morning in an actual bed. What had happened. I rolled over to a cold bed. "Shawn?" I mumbled sitting up and looking around, rubbing my eyes. I picked up my phone seeing a message.
"I HAD TO RUN AUSTIN LOST HIS VOICE AND WE HAD A STAFF MEETING I AM SO SORRY BABY. I WILL BE BACK AT LIKE ELEVEN TO TAKE YOU HOME I'M SO SORRY ER I REALLY THOUGHT WE'D HAVE TIME TOGETHER."
I sighed softly and gently replied.
"Hey, don't worry about it. I'll ask my step-dad to come get me. I'm supposed to help my cousin with my mom's baby shower."
I climbed out of bed and sighed grabbing my things and called my step-dad. "Erika? What are you doing?"
"Can you come get me downtown? Shawn can't get me home."
"Yeah yeah. I'll be there in five." I nodded and muttered thanks before hanging up. I headed out the door. I sat in the lounge waiting for my step-dad and watched the twittersphere. I took a selfie, still in Shawn's hoodie from last night. "Comfy. :D" I sighed when my step-father pulled up. I got up and climbed in not looking at him. "So..." I groaned putting in my headphones and zoning him out.
About an hour later I got home to see my house filled with pink memorabilia. "Grand." I mumbled. I sighed and looked around for my cousin. "Um... Where's Nikki?"
"She couldn't make it. We had your step-brother and step-sister help. They should be around here. Andrea! Brooks!" I had step siblings? I watched as two blonde haired 'kids' came down the steps.
"Yeah?"
"You've yet to meet your step-sister. This is Erika." I waved politely and smiled. These people were related to me? Holy shit. They were gorgeous. Their mom must've been pretty hot.
"Hi there, I'm Andrea and that's Brooks. I hope you're not uncomfortable about this." I wasn't the oldest in the family anymore. In fact I was about to be the middle child. At least on moms side.
The shower went well and I heard what my sister's name was going to be. Selena Faith Lavish. Selena or Ayden. I liked Ayden better but you know I don't get a say. I was driven to the airport later and got home around midnight. "Missed you." My dad hummed when I hugged him.
"You have no idea." I fell asleep on the way home not receiving the texts from Shawn.
"Princess? Helloooooo? Okay fine. You're probably asleep you lazy twat. Don't hit me the next time you see me for that. Please. I'm sorry. I love you. Sleep tight."
When we got to the house I headed up to my room collapsing onto my bed and crawling in. I was so tired, I didn't care about my phone at the moment. I sighed curling under the sheets and closed my eyes.
A few months had passed as Shawn continued to tour. I woke up rolling over and so happy that it was the weekend. School was rough, and I had no friends. I just wasn't wanted. Not even Shawn's friends wanted to talk to me. They thought I didn't know him really and rejected me. So when the point of a weekend came up I was so glad. But that joy didn't last long. I picked up my phone and saw a message from Cameron. We hadn't talked in forever and I wonder how he was. I soon found out.
"Erika, I'm sorry I tried to mess with your relationship with Shawn. I'm never going to be able to find someone like how Shawn found you. I'm sorry I kissed you and I'm sorry you hate me. You were a close-ish friend and I appreciate you for that. Thank you."
I got a text while reading the one I had from Shawn.
"Did you get an apology text from Cameron too? Because he said were a lot and I'm worried."
Another text.
"Goodbye."
My eyes widened. I knew what this was. I quickly called Shawn up worried. "Babe?"
"Cameron just texted me 'goodbye.'"
"Wait what?"
"Check your phone."
"Oh my god. Ok stay calm. I'm in Washington so I'll get a ride to Cameron's. I'm gonna have to go to call him. Just, stay calm." I hung up getting out of bed and changing quickly.
"Dad!!"
Throughout the whole flight I tried to keep in touch with Shawn to see if Cameron was ok. I kept getting no response and it got to the point that I was crying. Sure he had almost broken my relationship with Shawn but he was still a nice guy. We hadn't talked in forever. Ever since Shawn unfollowed him we'd sorta forgotten him. So I felt bad, terrible actually, when I got his texts. You never miss a person until they aren't around anymore. And I didn't want that for any of us. An iMessage came through from Shawn. "I'm not getting a reply :/" oh god no no no.
"Shawn you need to get to his house as soon as possible."
"I'm twenty minutes away, stay calm." It was worring me and I couldn't stay calm. The whole plane thing wasn't helping either. I just wanted to be held but I had to stay buckled since we were landing soon.
When we got to the airport a flood of messages came in. "Miracle. Go to Miracle." "What did he try to do?"
"OD. When it didn't work fast enough he started tying a noose. It the middle of tying it up the meds worked and he fell off the chair he was on. "
"Break anything?"
"Nah just a mild concussion."
"God I feel awful. This is my fault."
"How?"
"If I hadn't yelled at him he wouldn't have lied and then he wouldn't be in this situation."
"It's his fault not yours. "
"Are you saying that suicide is the own persons fault?!"
"Sort of. I guess you could say that."
"OMFG Shawn! That is so not their fault! They never have an intent on actually trying to do it until they get to the point they feel helpless, lost, alone and tired of being alone."
"Erika...have you..."
"I don't want to talk about that. But suicide is definitely not the person's fault."
"But it's suicide. It literally means death by one's self."
"I'm not arguing Shawn."
"Whatever. I'm at the hospital, Cameron, should be good to go home tomorrow."
"Are you really that dumb?"
"What?"
"He needs help Shawn. He tried to flipping kill himself. He needs help."
"Like a doctor? Medicine what?"
"Time. Time and a therapist." I didn't reply after that since he was being stupid.
We got to Miracle and I saw Shawn pacing in the hall way. My eyes were still red from the crying on the plane so when Shawn saw me he gently wrapped his arms around me. "This is my fault. All my fault."
"No it's not." Shawn then sat me down and looked at me. "What's this about you having thoughts..?" I sighed slightly and shook my head.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Erika.."
"I said I don't want to talk about it Shawn!! If I don't want to talk about something you shouldn't linger on the subject!" I groaned standing up and pulling my phone out of my pocket due to it ringing. "Hello?" Hearing my mother's husband on the other end of the phone caused me to go into a slight panic. My mom was in labor. As fast as I had picked up, I hung up, running down the steps to go and attempt to find my father to tell him the news. I ran down the steps tripping and twisting my ankle a bit. "Fuck."
"What?"
"Nothing." I spoke getting up and running down. I sat down and started rubbing my ankle as I told my father the news. Once I got up, slightly limping, my dad came back to Cameron's room with me.
"Oh my god what did you do?"
"Fell down the steps and twisted my ankle. I'm fine I just need to walk it off."
"Are you sure? It looks pretty swollen babe."
"Whoa whoa whoa. Babe?" Shawn and I both looked at my dad. Oh god. My dad didn't know. Oh shit.