1. greed: i don't know why i could never satisfy you. i would give you what you asked for, but by the time it was finished, you were already begging for something else. first it was a kiss, and then it was a touch, and then it was my mouth. on you, around you, wherever you asked it to be. eventually i realized i would never be able to give you all you wanted, and i left. i was mostly afraid that one day you would stop asking me for things and just take them.
2. gluttony: you took every part of me, and i let you. you came to me with sharpened teeth hidden behind your sunday school smiles and i watched, fascinated, as you traced your tongue along my thighs. you ate me up, and left licking your lips. i never wanted you to have this much, but you always kept me wanting more. before i knew it, you had swallowed me whole.
3. envy: your hands felt more like chains and your kiss felt like the lock that bound me to you. i never should have given you the key to me, but you batted your eyelashes and curled your fingers deeper and i was powerless. "i don't want you seeing him anymore," you said, and soon that was the slogan for our relationship. i ran because you were destroying yourself every time i looked away from you. i didn't want to be your prized possession. you never understood that i didn't belong to you.
4. lust: nobody fucked me like you did, and i knew i shouldn't have let it go on for that long, but how could i have felt bad about something that felt so good? there was never anything special between us, but i forgot. when you were on me, in me, with me, i forgot. i would see stars and i thought it was love. i was too afraid to tell you how i felt, but that didn't stop you from leaving when somebody else's body caught your attention.
5. pride: i will never forget how it felt to be loved by you, because you made it seem like i was the luckiest girl in the world. you thought you were god's gift, and for a while, i really believed it. but everybody gets sick of people talking about themselves eventually, and one day i asked if i made you the luckiest person in the world, too. in your silence i found my answer. you could never admit that i loved better than you did.
6. sloth: you never really gave a damn about me, and i'm realizing that now. i should've taken the hint earlier, from the lack of calls to the half-hearted compliments to the way you only sort of said you loved me back. but something kept me hooked on you. i wanted to work hard for your attention. in the end, it didn't work. all it did was break me.
7. wrath: i will never be able to call what we had love. i loved you, and you hated me. the only kisses i got from you were from your knuckles, the only fingerprints you left were on my throat. you scared the shit out of me, and i always felt like i was walking on glass shards. it took everything i had to get the hell away from you. i can still feel the bruises throbbing, even now.
-c.h.
~
one of my favorites in this upcoming book! what do you think?