When I return to the dormitory, I am surprised by the sight. Al's bunk along with Myra's is stripped clean.
I don't bother asking where they went. It's pointless. They were cut.
I look at Christina and see tears slowly falling from her eyes. Her and Al were close, but I never realized it until now.
I sit beside her, but immediately I feel awkward. I'm not crying even though I feel like I should be. Al was my friend and now he's gone, but I find it as a good thing.
Last time, when someone said he was 'gone' they meant dead. This time around, he is factionless. I had always said that I would rather be dead than factionless, but that is no longer the case. I agree with the Amity boy on the train. I would much rather be factionless than dead. Although, I prefer neither.
I've been both, no matter how hard it is to think about. I've been factionless, living with Evelyn in a home with food. And I've been dead.
So I can only be happy for Al because maybe things will be better for him this time.
"Who else got cut?" I ask, as her sobs turn into nothing more than sniffles.
"Two of the Dauntless-born. I don't know their names," she replies.
I nod and look at the blackboard. There is a line through Al and Myra's names. No one's numbers have changed, considering that they were at the bottom of the list.
I'm still number 2 and Peter is still number 3. I hope he's satisfied and won't try anything on me. I can't risk staying with Tobias again no matter how badly I want to. It is too dangerous.
We started stage one with nine. And just like last time, we now have seven.
~~~
It's lunch and like before I'm sitting in the hallway that I am now very familiar with. All I'm doing is thinking. I'm thinking about everything. Tobias is at his meeting with Max right now. Whether or not he gets this job can decide everything.
I needed to be away from the dormitory in order to think clearly. My chest is pounding and there is a slight ringing in my ears when it finally hits me. Stopping the war may not be as easy as it seemed. There is a possibility that we won't be able to stop it at all. That is a scary thought. The thought of repeating everything that happened afterwards. I can't allow it.
I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I hear footsteps approaching. I stare at my shoes and the footsteps echo on the stone floor.
"Tris?" I hear an all to familiar voice ask. I slightly smile, remembering this conversation.
I look up and see Uriah standing above me with a goofy smile that I always associate with him. There are some other Dauntless-born initiates standing behind him.
"You okay?" he asks.
"I've been having a difficult day. Especially after last night."
"Yeah. I heard about that Christina girl. Stinks, but at least it wasn't any worse. Am I right?" As soon as he says this, his eyes widen as if he has said something forbidden. He looks down the hall and the other Dauntless-borns have disappeared around the corner. He grins wider. "Wanna get out of here?"
I smile a huge smile at the thought of zip lining again. "Where are we going?" I ask, unable to contain my excitement.
"To a little initiation ritual," he says. "Come on. We have to hurry."
Without a moments hesitation, I push myself to my feet and jog next to Uriah to catch up to the Dauntless-born initiates.
"The only initiates they usually let come are ones with older siblings in Dauntless," he says. "But they might not even notice. Just act like you belong."
I don't bother asking anything else. I know what we're doing.
I continue to run, filled with adrenaline. We stop when we catch up to the others.
"What's the Stiff doing here?" a boy with a metal ring between his nostrils, I think his name was Gabe, asks again.
"She just saw her best friend get stabbed in the arm, Gabe. Give her a break." Well, I got the name right. I didn't actually see her get stabbed, but he doesn't need to know that.
Then another question comes to me. How did he know she was my best friend?
Before I can wrap my mind around it, Gabe shrugs his shoulders and walks away.
We turn another corner, and a group of members stands at the end of the next hallway.
"Let's go!" someone yells. I stay close to Uriah as I follow them.
"Back staircase," Uriah says, almost mumbling. "Usually locked."
I nod, though he can't see me, and climb until all the steps are gone. By then, a door at the top of the staircase is open, letting in daylight. We emerge from the ground a few hundred yards from the glass building above the Pit, close to the train tracks.
I feel like I have done this a thousand times before, but it has been only once. I hear the train horn. I feel the vibrations in the ground. I see the light attached to the head car. I crack my knuckles and bounce once on my toes.
We jog in a single pack next to the car, and in waves, members and initiates alike pile into the car. Uriah gets in before me, and people press behind me. I can't make any mistakes; I throw myself sideways, grabbing the handle on the side of the car, and hoist myself into the car. Uriah grabs my arm to steady me.
The train picks up its speed. Uriah and I sit against one of the walls.
"Where are we going?" I shout over the wind.
"Zip lining!" he shouts back and then stutters out, "I-I mean Zeke... ummm... never t-told me, but I'm guessing zip lining."
"Okay," I say slowly. What was that about? Then I remember something. I'm not supposed to know who Zeke is so I ask, "Zeke?"
"My older brother." He points at Zeke on the other side of the train car. Even now, I can't help but notice how different the Pedrad brothers look from each other.
"You don't get to know!" Shauna, who I never noticed until now, shouts. She is right beside me on my left. "That ruins the surprise! What makes you think we're going zip lining?" She laughs.
Uriah shrugs and mumbles something that I don't understand.
"I'm Shauna," she says extending her hand. I shake her hand, but don't grip it hard and I let go quickly. I'm still not good at handshaking.
It might be because she isn't in a wheelchair. Last time I saw her, she had Zeke pushing her around. Because we just had to go spy on Jack Kang. Yet, here she is. Able to walk, and probably having no idea who I am.
"I'm-" I start to say before she interrupts.
"I know who you are." She smiles. "You're the Stiff. Four told me about you."
I feel my cheeks burn. "Oh? What did he say?" I know what he said last time, but at the time, he was nothing more than my instructor. But I can't help but wonder what he said this time, as my boyfriend.
She smirks. "He said you were a Stiff." Okay, nothing different, but I feel like she isn't telling me everything by the way she says it although I decide not to question it. "Why do you ask?"
"If my instructor is talking about me," I say as firmly as I can. "I want to know what he's saying." This is why I could never be in Candor. I lie to easily. But I hope my lie is at least somewhat believable, considering that it's the same thing that I said last time. "He's not coming is he?"
I know that he's not. Not only is he afraid of heights, but he is probably still in his meeting with Max.
"No. He never comes to this," she says. "It's probably lost its appeal. Not much scares him, you know."
I know, but heights is one of the few things that do scare him. It feels weird to me. Sitting here talking about my boyfriend to Shauna. One of his best friends.
But for some reason I still ask, "Do you know him well?"
"Everyone knows Four," she says. "We were initiates together. I was bad at fighting, so he taught me every night after everyone was asleep." She scratches the back of her neck, her expression suddenly serious. "Nice of him."
I forgot about that. For the longest time, I thought that he was only Tobias around me. He was cruel mean Four to everyone else. It's nice to know that he helped Shauna. He can be Tobias around other people, but I'm not complaining. It makes me feel... special I guess.
She gets up and stands behind the members sitting in the doorway. I hear her shout, "Here we go!"
The train doesn't slow down, but she throws herself out of the car. The other members follow her, a stream of black-clothed, pierced people not much older than I am. I stand in the doorway next to Uriah. The train is going much faster than it has every other time I've jumped, but I can't lose my nerve now, in front of all these members. Besides, I've done it before. So I jump, hitting the ground hard and stumbling forward a few steps before I regain my balance.
Uriah and I jog to catch up to the members, along with the other initiates, who barely look in my direction.
As the Hancock building comes into view, a smile takes over my face again. I can't wait to have that feeling again. The feeling of freedom as I fly past the buildings.
As we get closer, the members start to run, and Uriah and I sprint to catch them. Jostling one another with their elbows, they push through a set of doors at the building's base. The glass in one of them is broken, so it is just a frame. I step through it instead of opening it and follow the members through an eerie, dark entryway, crunching broken glass beneath my feet.
We stop at the stairs, but we wait for the elevator.
"Do the elevators work?" I ask Uriah quietly. Just not liking how quiet I was being.
"Sure they do," says Zeke, rolling his eyes. "You think I'm stupid enough not to come here early and turn on the emergency generator?"
"Yeah," says Uriah. "I kinda do."
Zeke glares at his brother, then puts him in a headlock and rubs his knuckles into Uriah's skull. Zeke may be smaller than Uriah, but he must be stronger. Or at least faster. Uriah smacks him in the side, and he lets go.
I missed the two of them together. It's been forever since I've seen Zeke. I haven't seen him since I left to cross the wall. Then Uriah. He isn't in a coma.
We pile into the elevator as the doors open. When I step inside she does it again. Lynn steps on my foot. Hard. And once again, she doesn't apologize. I just roll my eyes. I'm happy to see her alive too.
"What floor?" Lynn asks.
"One hundred," I say without thinking.
"How would you know that?" she snaps. Well poop.
"Lynn, come on," Uriah says. "Be nice."
"We're in a one-hundred-story abandoned building with some Dauntless," I retort, repeating what I said last time, so I don't give anything away. "Why don't you know that?"
She doesn't respond. She just jams her thumb into the right button.
The elevator zooms upward so fast my stomach sinks and my ears pop. I grab a railing at the side of the elevator, watching the numbers climb. We pass twenty, and thirty, and Uriah's hair is finally smooth. Fifty, sixty, and my toes are done throbbing. Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, and the elevator comes to a stop at one hundred. I'm glad we didn't take the stairs.
"I wonder how we'll get to the roof from..." Uriah's voice trails off.
I smirk involuntarily, hoping Uriah doesn't notice but just my luck, he does. He raises his eyebrow and then narrows his eyes for a second.
The wind is powerful when we reach the roof of the Hancock building. It blows into my still smiling face.
As we approach the zip line, I look at Uriah and say, "Looks like your guess was right."
~~~
I am one of the last ones to go like last time. My excitement is at its peak as Zeke straps me in.
"Ready, Stiff?" Zeke smirks down at me. "I have to say, I'm impressed that you aren't screaming and crying right now."
"I told you," Uriah says. "She's Dauntless through and through. Now get on with it."
"Careful, brother, or I might not tighten your straps enough," Zeke says. He smacks his knee. "And then, splat!"
"Yeah, yeah," Uriah says. "And then our mother would boil you alive."
"Only if she found out." Zeke tugs on the pulley attached to the steel cable. It holds, which is fortunate, because if it breaks, my death will be swift and certain. He looks down at me and says, "Ready, set, g—"
Before he can finish the word "go," he releases the sling and I forget him, I forget the war, I forget that I died.
I feel like I am without substance, without weight. Ahead of me the marsh looks huge, its patches of brown spreading farther than I can see, even up this high. The air is so cold and so fast that it hurts my face. I pick up speed and a shout of exhilaration rises within me, stopped only by the wind that fills my mouth the second my lips part.
I have missed this feeling.
My heart beats so hard it hurts, and I can't scream and I can't breathe, but I also feel everything, every vein and every fiber, every bone and every nerve, all awake and buzzing in my body as if charged with electricity. I am pure adrenaline.
The ground grows and bulges beneath me, and I can see the tiny people standing on the pavement below. I should scream, like any rational human being would, but when I open my mouth again, I just crow with joy. I yell louder, and the figures on the ground pump their fists and yell back, but they are so far away I can barely hear them.
I look down and the ground smears beneath me, all gray and white and black, glass and pavement and steel. Tendrils of wind, soft as hair, wrap around my fingers and push my arms back. I try to pull my arms to my chest again, but I am not strong enough. The ground grows bigger and bigger.
I don't slow down for another minute at least but sail parallel to the ground, like a bird.
When I slow down, I run my fingers over my hair. The wind teased it into knots. I hang about twenty feet above the ground, but that height seems like nothing now. I reach behind me and work to undo the straps holding me in. My fingers shake, but I still manage to loosen them. A crowd of members stands below. They grasp one another's arms, forming a net of limbs beneath me.
In order to get down, I have to trust them to catch me. I have to accept that these people are mine, and I am theirs. It is a braver act than sliding down the zip line.
I wriggle forward and fall. I hit their arms hard. Wrist bones and forearms press into my back, and then palms wrap around my arms and pull me to my feet. I don't know which hands hold me and which hands don't; I see grins and hear laughter.
"What'd you think?" Shauna says, clapping me on the shoulder.
"Um..." I start, the adrenaline slowly down. I smile. "When can I go again?"
They laugh, and I laugh with them. Dauntless is my home. And I hope that it will be longer than it was last time.
"Look! There he is!" I look up and see a figure flying towards the ground. Uriah. But he's laughing.
If I remember correctly, he was screaming bloody murder last time. I even remember him sounding like a strangled cat. What's different?
Instead of making fun of him, everyone is cheering. I'm so confused that it takes a few seconds for me to realize that he stopped.
When I come back to reality, I rush to the members to catch Uriah.
We line up beneath him and thrust our arms into the space between us. Shauna clamps a hand around my elbow. I grab another arm—I'm not sure who it belongs to, there are too many tangled hands—and look up at her.
"Pretty sure we can't call you 'Stiff' anymore," Shauna says. She nods. "Tris."
A/N: I'm pretty sure that this was my longest chapter. What do you think is going on with Uriah? Let me know in the comments.
Be sure to vote. If your Laila, I expect spam. Thank you.
~Breanne <4