"Isi, let us in" Leifer demands as him and Darius bang their fists on my door, wanting me to emerge from my bedroom after I had been holed up in there since we returned from Magnus' pack. Four days had passed since I discovered the truth about 'my male' and I am finding everything so hard to wrap my head around and accept.
Since the moment we got together he had been so caring and it seemed as though we fitted perfectly together, he had confessed his love for me the day after we met and I knew I loved him then but I hadn't had the courage to tell him so until months later. That was the night he took my virtue.
I knew I wanted to only be with my mate and I had honestly thought that Thaddeus was my chosen mate, if destined mates still existed I'm sure we were it but I know that's impossible.
He had promised me that he loved me and would always love me, he told me he would make me his female as soon as he could so I gave him my virtue, thinking he would be my mate for life - he lied.
He deceived me.
I can only think that he used me for sex, he knew I wanted to save my virtue for my mate but still he made me love him and give away my virtue when he had no intention of making me his mate. He knew we couldn't be together, he knew that he was a lycan prince and that I was a werewolf but he still stayed with me, he pursued a relationship with me. He said he was with me because he loved me, but I doubt that now.
I don't know what to believe from Thaddeus' mouth. He has lied since the first day we met. How do I even know if he loved me? I know he told me he loves me but he also told me he'd make me his mate and he hasn't done so. All I could ever possibly be to him is a mistress - aren't they simply whores that are used for sex? Was this Thaddeus' intention all along?
Even with the knowledge of his lies and that he wants me as his mistress, I can't help but still love him.
I fell in love with him and I cannot imagine being with anyone else, being another male's mate. I may be going crazy being in this room for days but I am considering taking up his offer of being his mistress.
I was used to being without him, it ached my heart when we were apart but I still knew we were in love and would see each other soon. Now, I'm aching with a whole new pain where we are separated and potentially never to see each other again let alone be together again.
This pain makes me want to run away from my home, away from my pack, away from my responsibilities to form a good alliance by mating an Alpha and run to my male. Perhaps being his mistress won't be so bad? At least I would be with him.
"Isi" Darius is in front of me, a scream is stuck in my throat from his sudden appearance as I had been so lost in thought I hadn't felt them stop banging at my door, I hadn't even noticed Darius climbing in through my window just as Leifer was doing now.
"What?" I croak, my voice raspy from crying for days without talking to anyone "Do not waste your tears on him" Darius says, pulling me up from my slumped position against the door and he hugs me close. I sniffle pathetically "I can't stop, it hurts so much"
"He should be fucking glad he's the prince or I'd murder his ass" Leifer growls "He's a lycan as well Leifer, he'd kill you before you blink" Darius reminds him, rubbing my back softly and bringing me to the bed "Dad's worried about you, Mum almost came here with us" he continues.
"Do they know?" I ask "No, only Darius and I know - should we tell them?" Leifer asks "No, I don't want a rift between our pack and the royals it's best dad especially doesn't find out"
"Don't let him get away with this Isi! He has ripped your heart out! All this fucking time he's been stringing you along whilst he's got a whore back home in his shitty castle"
"Stop speaking about him like that, you don't know him"
Leifer sneers "And you did? You don't know who he is, you didn't even know he was a royal lycan Isilee who knows what else he lied about"
"I still love him"
"You'll get over him" Darius reassures me, I pick at my shorts nervously "With who? No one will accept me now" I whine "Why?"
"Please tell me you didn't sleep with him" Leifer snarls, shutting his eyes as his fists clench and his body vibrates in fury "I did"
"That bastard!"
..
"Isilee" my mom's concerned voice has me wrapping my cardigan around me nervously "Hmm?" I respond, turning around after placing my empty pasta bowl down on the counter.
Her soft brown eyes have the warmth I've loved all my life as she comes forward and hugs me tightly "Let's go to the other room" she says, guiding me into a secluded living room away from my brothers and dad having an argument about who let me get hurt by Thaddeus, who let me sleep with him, who let me see him, who let me love him - I suppose this wasn't going to remain a secret.
"You still love him don't you honey?" she asks me, sitting us down on the sofa and holding my hand in hers, I nod my head looking down as I feel as though I'll cry "He loves you"
"I saw it honey, trust me I know the look of a male in love and that male loves the bones of you." she tells me with a laugh "I almost cried when I saw you two with that pup - he had that look as though you were his world. All I want for my pups is for them to find love and be happy, the boys are fine but you my little baby girl, you are so fragile and precious I want you to have a male that looks at you like Thaddeus does"
I wipe at my eyes, crying again, "It doesn't matter mom, he's got someone else and he'll never make me his mate"
She shuffles forward and cradles my head on her shoulder as I cry, feeling like a little girl again "But he loves you and that means everything my pup"
"I want to be with him, I do, even as his mistress" I admit, she sighs "I don't like the thought of you being his mistress, I'll be honest Isi. But I think you should give him a chance, you are happy with him and I want you happy my pup"
"He keeps calling me but I can't bare to speak to him" I tell her, she pulls back and runs her hand through my hair "Just tell him how you feel, I'll support you no matter what okay sweetie. You leave your father and brothers to me, you do what you need to do" she smiles softly, nuzzling my cheek with a little kiss "I love you mom"
"I love you too. Now we better get back, your dad's about to lose it"
We re-enter the room where dad is leaning against the wall, his hands on either side of his head and through the wall - he's punched through it. My brothers pacing around, growling and cursing at each other "You should've forbade her from seeing him dad - he wasn't fucking committed anyway" Darius snarls "Now she's in even more pain because you let it drag on for so long" Leifer says angrily.
"All of you shut up and calm down" mom demands. Walking over to my dad she rubs his back as he hugs her tightly, nuzzling her neck "Don't listen to them Klaus, you are the best father I could've asked for my pups."
"Dad none of this is your fault, or either of yours" I say towards my brothers "We should've protected you from that bastard!" Darius growls "We let him break your heart" Leifer snarls, banging his fist on the table in frustration "I'm sorry Pumpkin" my dad says, pulling my mom closer as if to comfort himself.
"I wanted to be with him, I love him" I say not wanting any of them to feel guilty
"He's hurt you Isi, made you fall in love with him"
"He told me he loved me first"
Leifer scoffs "Those are just words Isilee, he said he loved you so he could take your virtue!"
"He didn't take anything, I wanted to be with him, I gave him my virginity because I love him"
"He lied to you for years, he had no intention of ever making you his male but took your virtue anyway so no male would want you - he is a dishonourable, disgusting male who has disrespected you. That is not love Isilee" my dad's harsh words have my lips trembling, tears filling my eyes
He swallows and looks towards me, softening slightly "What we agreed to still stands my pup, you're mating to Magnus will be happening in two months - this is for the best" he tells me with guilt tinging his voice, watching me cry.
"No! Dad I can't be with him, please I don't love him, I love Thaddeus"
He steps forward, arms reaching to hug me but I leave the room instead feeling utterly destroyed 'Thaddeus will never make you his mate, do not waste your love or your life on him. Magnus will treat you well, he'll make you happy pumpkin.' dad's voice filters through our mind link but it only makes me cry even more as I re-enter my room as I know he's right.
I'll never be Thaddeus' mate.
But I could be his mistress... At least I'd be with him and honestly that is all I need.
Locking the door I grab my phone and turn it on for the first time in two days after I'd had to turn it off unable to look at his name flashing up every second as he'd call. I lock myself in my bathroom as well just to be safe and look to my phone, seeing he's rang 37 times - at least he cares enough to call.
I take a deep breath, clicking his name on my contacts list my heart clenching at his contact photo of him smiling - in our short time where I'd met his friends he'd only smile with me which seemed to shock his friends. I felt special, knowing that I was the only one he shared his smile with.
I wonder if his lycan female has seen him smile?
I shake my head, wiping my tears and getting those thoughts out of my head - it's fine, I can be his mistress. I'd rather be his mistress than be nothing to him.
Pressing the phone to my ear for only a couple seconds until I hear his voice "Isi?"
"I've changed my mind. I want to be your mistress."